Why do i suck so bad

At rolling joints/spliffs/blunts, ive looked it up on the internet, watched videos, read paragraphs, memorized images, and even watch people in real life. Yet i still suck balls at it. Ive tried using one paper or two papers. My roaches are usually small and weak allowing weed and tobacco to seep through. Then i try making a bigger beefier roach but to no avail it just ends up becoming a tight tube of paper that allows no air to pass through. Then when i try to physically roll the paper around the tobacco and weed it never rolls a perfect tube or cone, its never tight and always ends up falling apart when i smoke it. Am i using too much weed/tobacco? or should i just quit and stick to a pipe. I love papers soo much tough. Can i buy pre-made and reasonably sized papers? reasonably meaning the size of a cig.

if i were you, i would find and buy some clear papers...they are easier to roll with IMO

Just keep workin, dont try so hard. Mayby your too shaky? I dunno. But here's a good quote for you.

Hell, you can't drive, honey. Shit, I can't swim, I know I can't. So you know what I do? I stay my black ass out the pool! ...

I cant roll, so I dont. I stick with my glass =)

Don't know what to say, you might try and have someone else you know assist you. Other than that, there are pre-rolled cones just now being sold in most U.S. headshops and all over the place in Europe.. but the amount needed even for the smallest size of cone is nearly 1.5g.. a half 8th would be enough for a fat cone and a bowl pack.

Keep trying, you can do it!

Don't even bother with the roach thingies, probably just one more thing getting in your way.
and I think it is way easier to roll a big joint than a small one, so don't worry about the weed falling out, just put some corners in your paper, fill it up w green (a little less in the middle will keep it from lookin like a cheeto) and shimmy roll it up. use a pointy thing to poke any weed hanging out back in.

a friend of mine can't roll w/o using a dollar bill, her j's are beautiful. have u tried that?

It's not your fault. It is a genetic disorder over which you have no control. It's a syndrome called SARJ (Sucks At Rolling Joints), and it is more common than you mght realize. Perhaps it would help if you joined a SARJ support group.

Or you could give up doing it by hand and get one of those little rolling machine devices that make perfect cigarette-size joints.

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Originally Posted by TX Girl

a friend of mine can't roll w/o using a dollar bill, her j's are beautiful. have u tried that?

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I havent seen this method yet, how is it performed lol.

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Originally Posted by dragonrider

Or you could give up doing it by hand and get one of those little rolling machine devices that make perfect cigarette-size joints.

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BAM! thats what im talking about. Most of those ive seen though are basically a empty cig. w/ a filter then it just packs in the tobaccer. I can do that lol. Are there others that just roll a joint? if so link please?:D

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Originally Posted by dragonrider

It's not your fault. It is a genetic disorder over which you have no control. It's a syndrome called SARJ (Sucks At Rolling Joints), and it is more common than you mght realize. Perhaps it would help if you joined a SARJ support group.

Or you could give up doing it by hand and get one of those little rolling machine devices that make perfect cigarette-size joints.

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im sorry.....but i just have to put this in my sig :jointsmile:

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Originally Posted by kms brown

BAM! thats what im talking about. Most of those ive seen though are basically a empty cig. w/ a filter then it just packs in the tobaccer. I can do that lol. Are there others that just roll a joint? if so link please?:D

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I haven't rolled a joint in years, but this is kind of like what I used to use: Rolling machine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Mine was made by Zig-Zag and just used regular rolling papers. I never used any kind of filter or roach, but I guess you could. You just open the two rollers and put the weed in between the rollers. Close it up and roll it a few times to even it out. Start to feed in the paper. Roll it a bit more, and it perfectly wraps the paper around the weed. Right before the glue strip rolls in, you lick the strip and roll it in. Open up the roller and out pops a perfect cigarette-sized joint. I think the machines are actually made for people who self-roll cigarettes. It's called a "rolling machine" or a "roller." They don't cost very much.

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Originally Posted by memoryburner

im sorry.....but i just have to put this in my sig :jointsmile:

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Ha ha! Glad you liked it!

practice...evetually ull find a unique technique that works for you...and then the more you do it...the better they get...

When I sucked at it, I would roll the paper around a pencil, seal it, then pinch one end and load it up with weed, then put a spliff in, pack it in from the other end, and twist it. Then light it of course.

You could always try just making normal fags first with baccy until you get the hang of it.

Worked for me!:)

Also you say your roaches suck? well you could try rolling with roach already in or on the roaches which let weed through try putting in a zig-zag (just fold sum paper like you were making a spring and put it in the middle of the roach) pushes the roach up and makes it toke great!

For a big joint i'd reccomend skinning up over a dvd case that way any what falls out you don't care and you can just save for later:thumbsup:

Just rememeber we all gotta start out somewhere and with practice and just a pinch of 'magic';) you'll get there sumday

Around here the tobacco shops sell empty cig tubes w/ filters (looks like an emptied out cig)...they also sell a small mechanical "puncher" , that fills those tubes. 200 Tubes and a puncher is around 10 buks. I've used it before to make a cig sized doobie and just tore off the filter.

either way, just keep at it. you'll get it.

ok, to use the dollar bill you get your weed in the paper in the usual manner and then the dollar bill goes behind it lengthwise but position the Soon To Be Joint towards the bottom of the bill with about a 1/4 or 1/5 of the bill coming under the STBJ and pointing up.

Now shimmy the bill to where your fingers are holding the bill just above the paper to where when you roll it up and down w your fingers it is tightening up the weed... now open the bill and lay the front part of the paper close against the weed and then shimmy the bill again - to where the front part of the bill is going up and getting longer, the back part is getting shorter and if you are pinching it real tight as you shimmy it the STBJ will roll itself up quite nicely. of course you gotta watch your progress so you can lick and stick the end. I can see all this in my head as Im telling you, maybe after you practice a few times it will be easier to see what I mean, cause I used a lot of words and made it sound way harder than it is, I'm afraid. good luck!

no idea ask the guy if the has any tips, nah j/k you have to have the feel for it, i can roll crazy blunts but roll horrible joints, just got to get the feel for it

its not about reading, or watching, its about practicing!!!

but, if you want a little tip, just make a roach, not too big, and tight so it doesnt unroll too much, put it at the end of your paper and use it as a guide so you can make a great little cone!

You 'suck so bad' because self consciously you're putting too much pressure on yourself and are actually imploding. Smoke a few bongs, chill out, play with some paper. The pressure's off ;) It's not a race.

Just practise and practise and practise.

If you want to a roll a good joint, definatly keep the roach. It doesnt need to be big, about 1 cm is enough.

It keeps the mouth end open, gives much bigger hits, means theres no waste and stinky butts left over.

Roll the british way - coz the british way is the right way.

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Originally Posted by dragonrider

It's not your fault. It is a genetic disorder over which you have no control. It's a syndrome called SARJ (Sucks At Rolling Joints), and it is more common than you mght realize. Perhaps it would help if you joined a SARJ support group.

Or you could give up doing it by hand and get one of those little rolling machine devices that make perfect cigarette-size joints.

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I had this very genetic disorder Dragonrider spoke of. I sucked at rolling all through college, and I still sucked at it last year, too. I got a roller in both instances, which helped a ton. Best $2.50 I ever invested. SARJ is a really frustating condition to have. . . .

I agree, BG- I'm actually registered as a medical marijuana patient because of this crippling disorder. It ruins families, slays ties with friends, and is one of the most undiagnosed conditions, second only to Celiac Disease.

Rolling machines help ease a lot of the pain, as do bowls and friends who can roll superbly.

It sounds like the only thing missing from what you mentioned as experience is practice. you need to practice alot. get a pouch of rolling tobacco, and dont stop rolling till the pouch is empty. i guarantee the last cigarette you roll will come out better than the first.

Best thing I did was had a good few smoking sessions with myself, I knew i'd never learn to roll good when it felt like everyone was watching me. I sat down with a pack of papers, pack of cigarettes and a nice bit of weed. Whenever I fucked up the roll too much id just empty it out and try again, hitting the occasional bong every so often.

Like a lot are saying keep trying, get high and try rolling a joint like its an epic adventure. If your getting annoyed just hit your pipe and forget about it, have fun!

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Originally Posted by Purple Banana

I agree, BG- I'm actually registered as a medical marijuana patient because of this crippling disorder. It ruins families, slays ties with friends, and is one of the most undiagnosed conditions, second only to Celiac Disease.

Rolling machines help ease a lot of the pain, as do bowls and friends who can roll superbly.

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I'm stoned and i was reading that and thinking it was serious hhahahaha!

some people are good others are not, your clearly not. dont try to change that just accept it.

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Originally Posted by OLDJIMMYBONES

some people are good others are not, your clearly not. dont try to change that just accept it.

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That is the worst advice i have ever heard.

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Originally Posted by memoryburner

if i were you, i would find and buy some clear papers...they are easier to roll with IMO

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Seriously? I always thought they were much worse for rolling. Not only are they harder to see but when you lick them they curl, and they easily stick to your fingers.

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Originally Posted by Nation_1ne

Seriously? I always thought they were much worse for rolling. Not only are they harder to see but when you lick them they curl, and they easily stick to your fingers.

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I smoked one joint with my supplier and they were fucking horrible. He threw the pack he had away.

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Originally Posted by LIP

I smoked one joint with my supplier and they were fucking horrible. He threw the pack he had away.

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Agreed, they just don't smoke as nice and make rolling a whole new skill lol. I did appreciate the fact they are healthier, and the gimmick of them being transparant. But they just didn't seem worth the effort.

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Originally Posted by ToDrunkToFish

I cant roll, so I dont. I stick with my glass =)

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Exactly, I am horrible at rolling but I'm not a huge fan of joints anyway (though don't get me wrong, I ewon't turn one down either). So I stick to my glass spoon pipes, chillums and my bong.

Just gotta keep practising, everyone's shit at rolling to begin with. It can take ages to get good at.
Practice doing some on your own first. When I first started tryin to roll I was completely crap at it, even had to put an extra layer of papers round sometimes. Just keep trying and you'll get it in the end :jointsmile:

Try rolling with filters, buy small filters and cut them half, all you need is the diameter for support, and then slowly move on to a roach.. I told this to a friend and it worked, haha.. it actually did! :o

I used to suck at rolling too, bunts and j's. J's took some practice. I had a friend show me how to roll blunts, After that Man being a blunt pro was easy. Also depends on the weed alot, If you got some really dence buds you gotta break em up nice and loose,
I like to break up the bud really fine then roll it back up just tight enouf for a long lasting burn.

hmm well i think i found the solution to my problem. I just take a prime time and roll it in my fingers till all the tobacco falls out. then i pinch it a little at the neck of the filter and roll your fingers and poof out comes the filter. Then using scissors and a note card i make a roach to the appropriate length to take place of the filter. after all thats done i fill it with weed and the prime time tobacco and bam. I have what i want and i can smoke it anywhere i want.

oh yes.. one more thing, before you roll make sure that the tobacco is evenly spread throughout the paper.