stand up comedy

anyone love it? when your sober, or intoxicated, it rocks

i just finished watching a comedian on comedy central, one of his bits went somethin like this

"acid really opend my eyes....i mean...acid realy opend my eyes....i realized that butter is so much better than margerine....yeah...acid...i eusd to see things when i was on acid...like beams of light...and i also uesd to hear things...that sounded like car horns...

so one time me and my friend dwayne went into the woods to trip while on acid, because your less likley to run into an authority figure...well...we didnt run into an authority figure, we ran into a bear....im sitting here pissing myself....and my friend dwayne is standing there with his hand in the air making an oath to prevent forest fires...

so were walking out of the forest and dwayne puts his arm around me and says "mitchell....smokey is much more intimidating in person"...

...i tired to use that joke in england but i didnt know if they knew who smokey the bear was...so i asked the audiance...and i found out they have some sort of frog as the mascot for forest fire prevention...which i think is a great idea....because a frog is much less intimidating than a bear...i mean...you never say "hey look....here comes that frog..." in a horrifyed tone...you always say it all optimisticly...like "hey...look at that frog....hes coming towards me...maybe he'll settle near me...and i can pet him...and put him in a mayonaise jar...with a leaf...and a stick...to make it like what hes uesd to...."


lol, and the guy was obviously fucked up beyond belief....

and he looked like johnny depp as "george jung" in blow

lol man i love stand up comedy, that one black guy whos real famous cant rember his name but hes on comendy central uncensored at night hes fucking awsome, usually i blaze a few bowls at like 2 in the morning and some of those stand up comedians will be on i love it lol, oh and shorties watchin shorties is the shit :D

That guy from the first post is Mitch Hepburn. I'm not sure on the spelling. He's pretty funny.

Jeremy Hotz is the greatest comedian though.

yeah mitch hepburn, thats his name, i member now

he was funny as hell....stand up comedy can you from a bad mood to a good mood so fast

Mitch is the best fucking druggie stand up comedian next to bill hicks in the world.

does anyone know the black comedian im talking about? i tihnk hes dead now but hes on comendy central like after 1 and hes uncensored?

Richard Pryor.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ermitonto

Richard Pryor?

---

MY SAVIOR! lol yes thats him that guy is the funniest most awsome mother fucker ever lol i lvoe watchin him when stoned it makes me so happy! lol, thansk for that link i learned some stuff about him i didnt know

You ever heard any of Dane Cooks shit. That guy is hilarious. check his shit out

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by BostonToker

You ever heard any of Dane Cooks shit. That guy is hilarious. check his shit out

---

like when he talks about the crab chasing him !!!! hahaha

lol yeah i like stoppin in comedy places and shit. Chillin gettin drunk. Some people are hella funny and some just plain suck.

The funniest guy i saw on comedy central was this guy called zach galifinacus he was just fuking hilarious. Now im not trying to be sexist here or anything but i dont find girl comedians to be funny at all! i think a girl comedian is an oxy moron. thats my opinion flame me if you want...

Bill Hicks. I feel sure it does not get any better.

There's a guy here in teh UK called Jimmy Car .He's an acquired taste, but he's got some good gags:

"a woman stopped me in the street the otherday and asked 'can you spare a few moments for cancer research?' 'OK' I said 'but I dont think we'll get much done"

I've seen that show doesnt the guy have long hair and glasses. stand up is great on all night on friday, good if your stuck doing nothing smoke a bowl and watch always good

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

The funniest guy i saw on comedy central was this guy called zach galifinacus he was just fuking hilarious. Now im not trying to be sexist here or anything but i dont find girl comedians to be funny at all! i think a girl comedian is an oxy moron. thats my opinion flame me if you want...

---

i find for the most part they are either not funny at all or hilarious.

I'm sure there are funny girl comedians but i've never seen one.

NO I DOnt find female comedians funny most of them are lesbians (not that thats a bad thin)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by robert42

NO I DOnt find female comedians funny most of them are lesbians (not that thats a bad thin)

---

Or they are chubby and all of their jokes are about being the chubby girl, which is only funny for about 30 seconds.

Have you ever seen "Girls Behaving Badly"? It's not stand up but it's this show where these girls play practical jokes on random ppl. It's funny and the girls are all pretty (mostly). One of the best ones is where they have this set up where boyfriends think they are going to the doctor's office to pick up their girlfriends allergy prescription. When they get there they find out it's medicine is to cure their girl's itchy ass from some sort of an infection from anal sex. Every one of the guys is completely horrifed. Priceless.

i like some black female comedians. gallagher was cool. black gallahger is cool too. i like black comedians because they make fun of white people and talk about shhmokin weed. i wish i could make fun of black people. i havea so much shit ont hem. it would be funny as hell. but that wouldnt work would it? i dont know why??? ohhhh i thinks its bc some black people are still pissed off about slavery. FUCKING IDIOTS>

dude their was fat latino guy on comedy central. He was so funny i was soo stonned and he was funny haha.

Fat latino guys always seem to be funny.

Uhhh the dude's name (from the OP) is Mitch Hedberg

I suggest finding his CD's, they are sooo funny.

My favourite stand-ups:

EDDIE IZZARD - I've got all of his gigs on tape, he is mega-funny. He talks as if he's stoned, about history, and religion, and wierd stuff. I used to spend many a night inside the smoked-packed cabin of my lorry, with Eddie in the cassette deck, absolutely crying with laughter. Highly recommended :)

BILL BAILEY - watched his "Troll-like" show on TV a few weeks back, the first time I've seen him doing stand-up. The guy also plays loads of instruments - awesome guitarist! I've got to get me a copy on DVD, he is funny as fuck.

STEPHEN RIGHT - awesome, from back in the day. Saturday Night Live produced some class acts, but for me, this guy beats them all. Wacky, off-the-wall humour - just the way I like it lol

DEREK AND CLIVE (aka PETER COOK AND DUDLEY MOORE) - although they aren't strictly a stand-up act, I think they are worthy of a mention, in the context of the thread. Maybe they're an acquired taste, but if you like hedonistic, ad-libing, whilst absolutely pissed out of their skulls, then you won't go far wrong with this...hehehe - not for the faint-hearted :D

george carlan or how ever u spell ive always liekd the best

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by slipnslide087

i like some black female comedians. gallagher was cool. black gallahger is cool too. i like black comedians because they make fun of white people and talk about shhmokin weed. i wish i could make fun of black people. i havea so much shit ont hem. it would be funny as hell. but that wouldnt work would it? i dont know why??? ohhhh i thinks its bc some black people are still pissed off about slavery. FUCKING IDIOTS>

---

What's with the fuckin' racism? In case if anyone's wondering I'm 60% black, about 20% caucasion, and about 5% indian. I don't shit talk about any race.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Hektik

Fat latino guys always seem to be funny.

---

im a fat latino guy :)

He wasnt being racist. He was just saying that black comics make fun of white people and people laugh. White comics make fun of black people, he gets called a racist and no one laughs. Even though black jokes are 100 times funnier than white jokes, we cant say them or we would be called racist. Like you called slipnslide for even mentioning it.


Pablo Fransico is funny

Also, this one guy i forget his name, hes white, kinda bald, wears glasses, one of his jokes was about the pope as a kid, dreaming about becoming pope. It was really funny

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MRB041

He wasnt being racist. He was just saying that black comics make fun of white people and people laugh. White comics make fun of black people, he gets called a racist and no one laughs. Even though black jokes are 100 times funnier than white jokes, we cant say them or we would be called racist. Like you called slipnslide for even mentioning it.

---

Couldn't have said it better myself.

I forgot this was kinda a joke thread, but c'mon this doesn't sound racist?:

Quote:

---

i wish i could make fun of black people. i havea so much shit ont hem. it would be funny as hell. but that wouldnt work would it? i dont know why??? ohhhh i thinks its bc some black people are still pissed off about slavery. FUCKING IDIOTS>

---

Quote:

---

FUCKING IDIOTS

---

But, it's all good.

Richard Pryor was awesome.

I gotta admit, though.. Bill Hicks is amazing, and Eddie Izzard is the perfect comedian for stoners!