Anxiety and sex....

Ok I'm now dating a new girl, that I have mentioned in the "online dating" thread. I met her online but she lives like 2 blocks away from me. Well its been like 3 days since we have started dating each other..well I haven't had sex since a few months before my seperation (about 11 months ago) And well I'm extremly anxious, I suffer from high anxiety sometimes. and well its affecting the little gnome...I need some advice, I wanna have sex with her, but I am having problems if ya know what I mean...I'm not on meds for my anxiety, but maybe I should be especially if its affecting my sexual Preformance...I really like this girl, and I don't wanna fuck it up with my preformance...I dunno...this is all kinds of embarrassing...

You need to work on the source of this anxiety. Is smoking is making it easy or worst ?

hmmm..have you had problems before?

Performance anxiety is a real thing and it happens..I am sure your ready for sex but afraid at the same time..have you seen a doctor? Do you smoke? How do you eat? Healthy? Vitamins?

I need to know these things before I can give a complete analysis.

Ok geo, and Lucifer. I'll give a quick response (got to goto work soon)...Well as far as smoking goes, she's not big on the whole smoking weed thing, so I ahevn't smoked weed around her, well we did once when we visited a friend. but she's not too keen on it so I don't smoke around her. I haven't seen a doctor yet, plan on making an apointment today. I don't smoke cigs (ick), I'm startin to eat healthy, and no I don't take vitamins. And yes with my wife I use to have this problem too, especially the first couple times we tried to have sex, and a few times after that..... ok off to work i go, will check back later tonight.

You would know better than I if this works for you, but you could start more slowly doing things that don't require your "gnome" at first. You could have outercourse! Haha or just use your mouth... :thumbsup:

Get to know more about her. Understand her past, goals, interests, lifestyle, etc. The two of you need to be comfortable around each other and be free as yourselves. Communication is very important.

Gnome, couple bits of advice.
Is this performance anxiety that you feel not only over sex, but also of a sort of stage fright sort? If so, remember that a nice girl is going to judge who you ARE, not think of you as an actor on a stage.
Do you feel like you HAVE to do the deed right away?

yeah, I have was kinda thinking that to..kinda early..but he is already nervous that she might want it and then he is going to freak and psyche himself out..so he is already preparing himself for failure...but dude, you can do it..we will be right there with you on a 2 way mic leading you all the way. LOL..j/k..dont worry there are ways, there are ways...we got your back on this.

Hey... take a lesson from George Costanza... if you have a special move, DON'T write the instructions on your hand. Memorize it. :D

Just focus on her body instead of focusing on making your junk hard. Youll be fine.

what you need to do my friend is smoke a fat blunt to the head.

just whack off before you think youll have sex with her

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Originally Posted by Brownbomber420

just whack off before you think youll have sex with her

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dosent that defeat the purpose?

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Originally Posted by OLDE ENGLISH '800

dosent that defeat the purpose?

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makes the poor fellow last longer due to second time orgasm.
but it also sucks.
fuck that.

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Originally Posted by OLDE ENGLISH '800

dosent that defeat the purpose?

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not if he wants to last longer

watch porn and masturbate if its that bad

well instead of doing the one man show why dont you let her orally take care of the first one then you return the favor and then once you get the first ones done you can bump uglys and last longer :wtf:

The gnome conquered the day! lol she suprised me yesterday by picking me up from work and then when she picked me up she told me she was wearing a corset and she wanted to show me! lol So we went to my place and she showed me her corset, damn fuckin hot! we fooled around, and then I did her the favour of going down on her. (love doing that), and then later on she got me all hot and horny and repaid the favour, as she was finishing me off, we decided to do the deed instead! :D I didn't last as long as I wanted too (its been 11 months after all! which she understood) but it was still F'n great! afterwards, we did somethin I have never done before, we cuddled in bed together naked, and I have never felt so comfortable with someone in my whole life! So I don't think I'll have a problem at all next time. I'm still going to my doctor today to get some back up suport for the little gnome! I really like this girl and I just hope this relationship doesn't turn into pure sex. (that happened with my first partner) When we cuddled and talked we discussed many things that I have never felt open to talk to anyone about, it was freakin awesome! This girl rocks my f'n world!

Thanks for all the input guys! :)....Oh shit I have to get ready for work! lol

Oh, SNAP, the little gnome found a nice spot for that pointy lil hat of his! Betcha it's not covered in snow any more... time for a new av! :D

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Originally Posted by OLDE ENGLISH '800

what you need to do my friend is smoke a fat blunt to the head.

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Agreed.

rock on man...

lil gnome...haha...that's funny...

xannax!

And be aware that some (lots) of psychiatric medicines can contribute to ED.

+1 definitely...

the gnome failed again...damn freakin condoms, and leg cramps! she tried to jump my bones again last night but the little gnome was stiff as all heel, and then came on the condom...fumbling with that I lost some of my blood flow, then came the leg cramps...that just ruined it.

Question as well, can weed cause impotency? (sp?) cause I no longer get the morning hard on, I haven't smoked weed in like 4 days, and quite frankly I don't think I'm going to smoke again, I'm sick of getting burnt out. and if weed is causing some of this problem I don't want it either!! I have like 5 joints pre rolled, and ready to smoke and quite frankly I have no urge to smoke them. Its not just because she doesn't like it, I've been meaning to quit for awhile now..and if weed is causing my lil gnome to not stand straight, well then the gnome needs to stop. This is not farewell though, cause I love this site. It just means I'm done with the herb! I can get errect its just maintaining that errection sometimes, or sometimes I just can't get errect. Stinky and geo can you please resond to the impotency question, cause I value your intelligence. I don't wanna hear from a bunch of stoner kids "Weed doesn't cause me to go limp, its not the weed dude!" Cause I'm not a little stoner no more, and I think my age, and the fact I'm a chronic, and I have anxiety is causing me to have major problems in the lil gnome area!

As of today though I officially have quit weed! aqnd I feel great about it! its my time, I'm doing this for myself! and thats the way it should be. Weed takes like 3 months to get out of the system doesn't it? or is it a month? Don't get me wrong you guys all still rock, and I'm glad you enjoy the herb, its just not for me no more :) now there will be more weed for you all, now that this chronic has put down the pipe!

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Originally Posted by potsmokingnome

Stinky and geo can you please resond to the impotency question, cause I value your intelligence.

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Sheesh Gnome, come on, you know I like to give advice from the voice of experience... Let's get one thing clear here:

I AM A CHICK.
I DO NOT OWN A PENIS.
I AM NOT SUSCEPTIBLE TO MORNING WOOD OR IMPOTENCE.

:D

Okay sorry but you were beggin' for it. lol.

You're stressed. Go have a chat with your doc. Get the lil' guy a little bottle of perky pills. Oh, and for God's sake, listen to all the guys who say you should spend more time pullin' yer own pud... get some nasty pr0n or whatever and practice the FUCK outta not coming too fast. Also google 'male multiple orgasm' for techniques to last longer. F'real.

You can get some crazy advice here sometimes. LOL ^^


Look at my profile and find my email and email me..

#1. Never heard of weed contributing to ED....could happen though.
#2. Depending on how old you are, that could be a huge factor.
#3. Go to the Doctor, he/she will help you.
#4. Self-fulfilling prophecy - If you are worried or even thinking your lil buddy might not perform, it won't. Trust me, it has happened to me.

So really, my prescription for love for you, is, get some meds, and relax. RELAX. Your lil buddy will do its job if you allow it to. The mind is a strong thing, allow the BODY to be stronger.

it happens to me if I'm too worried that it'll happen...stop thinking about it...let her body and her touch and her smell completely engulf your senses...stop thinking so damn much...

and correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't cannabis help circulation? I was under the impression that's all boner pills do as well. which is why saffron and other plants have been used for centuries as ED meds...because of the added circulation...

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Originally Posted by potsmokingnome

I can get errect its just maintaining that errection sometimes, or sometimes I just can't get errect.

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Originally Posted by potsmokingnome

Cause I'm not a little stoner no more, and I think my age, and the fact I'm a chronic, and I have anxiety is causing me to have major problems in the lil gnome area!

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did you ever stop and think maybe its you and you should see a doctor about it.?

Yeah I know all of this is sound advice, but honestly I have reached a point in my life where I no longer feel the urge to smoke pot to be happy. I spend too much money on it as well, and yes I need to calm the F down and relax. I'm seriously going to got the doctor and have a full blown talk about this with him. Anxiety has been a big controlling factor in my life, and I'm just sick of it! But I'm also sick of spendin soo much money on weed, and all I get out of it is a head buzz which is just fake happiness. I have put my 5 joints away in a ziplock bag in the freezer just incase i change my mind. Its not just the erectile problems I'm having problems with. Pot makes me have insomia, I hate the burn outs, and even after 4 days of no weed I'm waking up in the morning more refreshed then I have in years. I just don't need pot to make me happy no more, I may enjoy it from time to time still, but for now I just want the THC out of my sysytem, and I wanna start feeling better about myself, for myself, and not relly on weed to calm me down, or for me to be able to have a good time. So yeah i'm sure my personal anxiety is causing more of the problems then the weed is, but I still wanna quit smokin the herb on a constant basis. I may just be takin a break, I may be quiting for good. Personally i just wanna quit weed at least for a bit to see if my mental state, and physical state will become more healthy because of it. Call it a personal experiment if you will.

I still will come on this site, cause its like a second home to me! Everyone on here rocks! I love you all, and I won't come here and bash people for smoking weed, I just won't be one of tthe p0eople smoking weed no more. I just don't feel ther need for it anymore I really don't. I smoked weed for mainly all the wrong reasons in the past, and its time for me to move on and go foward in my life in what i view is a more positive way! Thank you all so very much, for all your time to respond to my thread, I trully apreciate it, and it means a lot to me! Not one negative comment was made at my exspense and I apreciate that more then words will ever say. I will still come here, maybe not as frequently as in the past, but I gaurentee this is not goodbye! :)

and geo when I have time I will send you an e-mail! :D Your one of my favorite people on this site, cause you all ways have such sound advice, and your funny as all hell! Thanks again everyone!

Good luck to you, Gnome. A break can't hurt, and if you feel better without, then all the more power to you. I feel better without, too. Mostly physically. It really did do nasty things to my heart rhythm the last time I smoked, and I'm on an anti-arrhythmic medicine now that it could be downright deadly in combination with. As a very smart person recently pointed out to me, if you're in favor of people having the freedom to smoke weed, then you need to be just as much of an advocate for people who choose not to too.

Good luck with your personal experiment. I hope your anxiety lessens. Try working as much exercise into your life as you can right now. It really helps me with anxiety and tension, and for men, it's great for your vascular health and erectile function. Remember that non-smokers--even those simply taking temporary breaks--can still be greatly effective advocates for cannabis.

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Originally Posted by potsmokingnome

Yeah I know all of this is sound advice, but honestly I have reached a point in my life where I no longer feel the urge to smoke pot to be happy. I spend too much money on it as well, and yes I need to calm the F down and relax. I'm seriously going to got the doctor and have a full blown talk about this with him. Anxiety has been a big controlling factor in my life, and I'm just sick of it! But I'm also sick of spendin soo much money on weed, and all I get out of it is a head buzz which is just fake happiness. I have put my 5 joints away in a ziplock bag in the freezer just incase i change my mind. Its not just the erectile problems I'm having problems with. Pot makes me have insomia, I hate the burn outs, and even after 4 days of no weed I'm waking up in the morning more refreshed then I have in years. I just don't need pot to make me happy no more, I may enjoy it from time to time still, but for now I just want the THC out of my sysytem, and I wanna start feeling better about myself, for myself, and not relly on weed to calm me down, or for me to be able to have a good time. So yeah i'm sure my personal anxiety is causing more of the problems then the weed is, but I still wanna quit smokin the herb on a constant basis. I may just be takin a break, I may be quiting for good. Personally i just wanna quit weed at least for a bit to see if my mental state, and physical state will become more healthy because of it. Call it a personal experiment if you will.

I still will come on this site, cause its like a second home to me! Everyone on here rocks! I love you all, and I won't come here and bash people for smoking weed, I just won't be one of tthe p0eople smoking weed no more. I just don't feel ther need for it anymore I really don't. I smoked weed for mainly all the wrong reasons in the past, and its time for me to move on and go foward in my life in what i view is a more positive way! Thank you all so very much, for all your time to respond to my thread, I trully apreciate it, and it means a lot to me! Not one negative comment was made at my exspense and I apreciate that more then words will ever say. I will still come here, maybe not as frequently as in the past, but I gaurentee this is not goodbye! :)

and geo when I have time I will send you an e-mail! :D Your one of my favorite people on this site, cause you all ways have such sound advice, and your funny as all hell! Thanks again everyone!

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I'm happy to read this, and I hope you do much better off the pot, but the only thing to stop you from your next smoke session is death. :D

Stay positive.

I too, hope you do well. Should be a wake up call to other smokers too. Smoking weed, to me and many more is a relief from life, a leisure activity. I don't smoke to calm down, or to relieve any ailment. I simply smoke for the fun of it.

People should think about the reason they smoke. If its for fun, then enjoy, but if its to avoid life in general. Quit. I was at that point a while back when I was in the pits and all it did was make it worse. I couldn't sleep I couldn't function. I quit for a few months and got my mind right, then started again for the right reasons.

I think its more widely known that alcoholics drink to cope with life, but the same goes for people who use marijuana, or any other drug. If your doing drugs for medical reasons thats another story, but just to cope with a break up, a low point in your life, unemployment, etc. QUIT. Get your mind right. And enjoy life fog free.

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Originally Posted by potsmokingnome

afterwards, we did somethin I have never done before, we cuddled in bed together naked, and I have never felt so comfortable with someone in my whole life!

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This is a great part of sex, luxuriating in the afterglow. Hold her naked body in your arms and stroke up and down her back and along her side. Feel her curves and warm skin. Squeeze her ass a little bit. It feels great and women love it. It's very relaxing. Do this for awhile, and soon it's time for round 2!

Its been 6 days so far since I have been free of THC, I know it will be lurking in my body for a couple more weeks, but I swear I feel so much better already! I have not even the slightest urge to smoke weed anymore, and wow the money I am saving because of it! I don't feel as burnout, and I have way more energy! The lil gnome likes it too, he's way more responsive now, just think about it for a sec. If your body gets burnt out from weed wouldn't your penis (aka the lil gnome) get burnt out as well? The little gnome is coming around! and it also helps that i am relaxing more when it comes to sex too, but I swear not smoking weed is helping me out as well.

Like I said before I'm not against smoking weed, its just not for me anymore! This might be a break, it might be for good, I'm starting to think it will be more a permenant thing though! I feel physically, and mentally better. I can think more clearer, I have more energy. I'm just not into getting so high, then getting so damn burnt out, I like creating my own highs in life :) its more satisfying that way! Thank you all for the suport, and hearing it from birdgirl as well means a lot to me! :) I'm glad your feeling better off pot as well, glad your more healthy :D

Thank you everyone for all your suport! and I love you all! you all rock!