I'm starting to realize my g/f is a humongous

Bitch.

So for 1 year and 3 months I have endured what any dude would call hell. I mean my friends have told me, my mom has said it indirectly and so forth. I'm sure I don't make it easy for her either in some ways.

Backdrop: She has been my first serious relationship never have I ever felt like this for ANY OTHER girl in my life. First REAL kiss, first fuck, first eevveerryythhiinngg imaginable.

At first our fights were over me smoking weed, and lying about it. You can say that was a dickish thing to do and if I really wanted to smoke weed I shouldn't have been with her and lying was wrong. But I felt like I loved her alot, she made me really happy, and a little weed smoking with a buddy every now and then didn't hurt anything. Well that was ALOT of BRUTAL fights and eventually I just sort of quit. I would go on monthly stretches without smoking weed. Then we both graduate, she goes up to NY to visit her dad (mom pretty much abandoned her) promised she would come back get a job and we would get an apartment. Make a long story short she decided to stay up there and started pushing me away. I got ready for the break up I started planning a future without her, sure it hurt but I was preparing myself for the worse. This goes on for a week of her pushing me away, and me feeling like she wants to move on, many nights crying feeling sad. Then when i'm ready to move on and I stop calling she calls me and just drops all this on me i want to be with you blah blah blah alllllll that jazz. So then she comes and visits, we fight about me smoking weed again, but then she smokes with me and she gets over weed.

Now this is the same girl I caught dancing all slutty with some other guy if you guys remember that thread and I was strong enough to get over that and see hte bigger picture which was just being with her. Now I want to just go to this fucking show for one night and she's flipping out saying I'm not going to talk to you if you go, we'll probably break up blah blah this whole fucking guilt trip. Normally that works on me but not after I saw those pictures of her dancing with that guy. I tell her if shes willing to break up over me going to a show then we weren't really worth it. I just got a job this morning and have yet to start working until next weekened. Shes saying "I have a job, i'm working and saving money to move back down there, you're not taking us seriously by going to this show, i'm not talking to you". To me thats her being a straight up bitch. because if I had a laxed g/f or someone who wasn't SUCH A BITCH it wouldn't be a problem now would it? People have told me long distant relationships don't work, and its not good if we always fight but for some reason I have really strong feelings about her. But I just see things going downhill from here on out. I used to be able to not fathom the fact she would be happy with some other guy but the more i think about it and stay in this relationship its more like I would wish that guy good luck...or maybe he would just be a better b/f then me.

But I just needed to vent. Everyone older then me that reads this will probably laugh and htink i'm a silly 18 y/o with problems that won't matter in 5-10 years but...I don't know. Sorry I just wrote a book.

Drop her like a bad habit and move on.

Na, I'm laughing because you'll probably vent about another relationship like this in 10 years.

But yeah man, you gotta trust your instincts.

Just think how nice it will be when it is gone.You most definitly shouldnt be with someone who makes your mental life hell.

Yeah that is true...when its all gone and i'm over.Right now I can't imagien that, shes been in the back of my mind for the past year and 3 months. This is sort of an ironic analogy, but know how when prisoners get out and they don't know how to act because they're so used to prison life? Thats how I feel about her, i've been with her so long i don't know how to think anything else....

How did you guys get over ex wives, long term g/f's?

Like when you think about them today doesn't it bug you they might be happy with someone else. And i'm worried i might end up miserable and she'll be happy with someone new.

agreed she doesn't sound like someone i would want to hang around with

Wow man...thats like a mirror of my last relationship (5 years and we were engaged). The girl was REALLY important to me, helped me through a really bad time in my life and did what i felt was enrich me as a person. However the last few years went down hill, she started telling me who i could and couldnt talk to (we'll she tried atleast) and if it had a vagina it was strictly off limits. I wasn't allowed to smoke, quit for probably the better part of 2 years till shit got really bad between us, and i made a new friend that loved to have me over and smoke me to the face (suppose he didnt have many friends that partook, and i like to think im a fun person to be around). Ultimatly walked in on her fucking another guy, and said "Thank you so much for giving me a reason to drop your ass". Prior to that i had found a few really shady text messages on her cell phone that i let slide because she claimed they were from close friends and ill admit i make some comments that could sound REALLY bad if taken out of context towards my friends.

Ultimatly ive moved back home for a few months, im not really smoking at the moment but thats more because everyone i know in this area has either A) gotten arrested B) moved away or C) stopped dealing, but i do have plant growing. Im alot happier now as well, my advice to you is end it man, it sounds like she treats you like shit and you seem to be looking for a way out. Theres no reason to try and maintain a realtionship when all it does it make you feel shitty (i mean hey, a relationship is supposed to make you feel good, sure we all have ups and downs in them but seems like you're in a perpetual trough to me). More importantly, someone should love you for you and not want you to make any major changes you're not ready to make.

whatever you DO NOT move in with her until you get this shit sorted out because believe me... you may think you're ready to live with someone but moving in with someone, especially someone you're not incredibly happy with, is one of the most DIFFICULT things to do.

Really though i feel your pain, and i know its a tough situation.

How did i get over her?

I went out with a long time friend who had been there for me to bitch to about the relationship for a while and had a fucking fantastic weekend. Then i realized that all my ex did was make me unhappy and i was better off with out her.

edit: I dont have to think about her being happy with someone else because i know she's not capable of that, all she does is make people unhappy.

I bet she will have a long time of unhappy relationships..good in the beginning, bad in the end..your cool bro, you are only 18, you are stylin. just takes a little time to get over it..it will all be gone when you meet someone new that you like.

She sounds like a selfish person who throws a tantrum if they dont get their own way. That's rich comming from me, because i'm selfish, and if i dont get what i want i get pissed off.

Me and my current bird are abit like that, we argue it's to be expected living with a cunt like myself. Our arguments are over bills, shopping and sex. Or lack. Not things like concerts.

She got over the weed. She'll get over the show.

And, you can get over them. Just remember that you learned a lesson.

that concert is just a facade to be angry among many other tings. she doesn't want ANYWHERE NEAR girls. umm she just doesn't want me to go, and shes trying to use the just because she has a job and has been saving money to move back down here excuse to get her way. when it clear that that i got a job today and will start getting paid in 2 weeks.

your right if she doesn't have her way no one is happy. i'm starting to think i can be better off without her.

just cuz it feels right, doesn't mean it is.... if it feels right, but everything else is pointing to wrong, then there's a high chance it really is wrong.....

i'd tell her 'we'll be together when you do move back down here' and that she can't expect to control you over a phone....

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Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho

i'd tell her 'we'll be together when you do move back down here' and that she can't expect to control you over a phone....

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LOL i know some bitches who would try to reach through the phone and strangle me but those are the crazy ones :D

i would cut it loose it feels so much better that way.

- Pushit by tool sums up how I felt about my last relationship. God I miss her so much, but i know it just wasn't right. We dated for 2 and a half years, and had built up a ton of trust and friendship through those times. Even though she was an extremely bright and very attractive girl but she was just brought up differently and had different views on subjects which always caused ( although most were pointless and stupid) arguments. You just take it and run with it man, learn from it, but enjoy life and live. Be you, and you will find someone who loves YOU for you.

- I'm not saying to give up b/c every relationship requires a lot of work. I was just adding in my 2 cents, and letting you know what i would do in your shoes.

I agree with Geo's comment that she's going to have a lifetime of bad relationships, most likely, and with Lip's comment that she's selfish.

Real love in a healthy relationship feels good. It doesn't yank your chain. Manipulate. Act like a bitch to push you away and then, when you're far enough out, reel you back in. Your thread title says it all. The strong feelings you've got for her are more an expression of what's up with you. By that, I mean you've gotten yourself emotionally invested in someone who's mean and nasty because, on some level, you don't think you deserve better. One way you can test that is by considering young ladies you know who're a lot nicer and more loving. If the nice ones don't appeal to you, that's because you don't like yourself enough to feel like you merit respect, friendliness and steady, even-handed affection. You do deserve it, though. All people do.

You sound like you've got your utility knife out and are starting to realize you need to make a cut. Make it clean and quick and lasting. (I'm speaking metaphorically here. Don't give her an actual knife wound, for heaven's sake.) Then get out and start fishing for someone nicer and prettier. Good luck!

Just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan . . .

Awe hell! First loves can be a heartbreak. But it sounds like you are doing the right thing. If she is driving you nuts now, imagine what it would be like in 10 years.

18 years old is young to get real serious with someone.

As far as how long it takes to get over someone special...well that depends on you. It is good that you have a job now as that will help keep you involved. Keep busy and it is easier

You asked how long it took some of us to get over our ex wife's. Well for me it was about 1 and a half years. But I am a very bitter and angry person. I was with her for 10 years.

Trust me ending a relationship with a control freak is easier and better to do now than later.

:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Unknown American

Awe hell! First loves can be a heartbreak. But it sounds like you are doing the right thing. If she is driving you nuts now, imagine what it would be like in 10 years.

18 years old is young to get real serious with someone.

As far as how long it takes to get over someone special...well that depends on you. It is good that you have a job now as that will help keep you involved. Keep busy and it is easier

You asked how long it took some of us to get over our ex wife's. Well for me it was about 1 and a half years. But I am a very bitter and angry person. I was with her for 10 years.

Trust me ending a relationship with a control freak is easier and better to do now than later.

:thumbsup:

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man i have alot of respect for you. that must ahve been very hard...

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Originally Posted by VoidLivesOn

man i have alot of respect for you. that must ahve been very hard...

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Yea it was. But relationships in general are hard.

Regardless I survived and so will you. There are plenty of babes out there that are not bitches.
:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by thcbongman

Na, I'm laughing because you'll probably vent about another relationship like this in 10 years.

But yeah man, you gotta trust your instincts.

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hahahaha.............blahahaha

Allow yourself to solely focus on the copious amounts of negativity. You deserve more.

If you sit and think about all the bad things, compared to the good things in the relationship. Then it is simple, BUT emotions fuck everything up. I personally cant tell you what to do, but if it was me I would be at a concert talking to every girl that met my fancy. Now dont just go out to get laid right away, just go out and talk and have fun with life, and eventually THE right one will come along. Ya never know when.

Good luck

They're like shoes kid ,
Throw that shit out if it doesn't fit . Some day you'll find the perfect pair :D
Crispi :jointsmile:

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Originally Posted by xcrispi

They're like shoes kid ,
Throw that shit out if it doesn't fit . Some day you'll find the perfect pair :D
Crispi :jointsmile:

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But don't you have to break shoes in?
When you first try on a new pair of shoes, they never really fit.. But after a few days, they usually do.

However, if you've been wearing the same shoes for over a year, and they still don't fit.. I think you may have gotten the wrong size :thumbsup:

I see nothing positive about this honey in any of your posts. That's never good.

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Originally Posted by r0k

But don't you have to break shoes in?
When you first try on a new pair of shoes, they never really fit.. But after a few days, they usually do.

However, if you've been wearing the same shoes for over a year, and they still don't fit.. I think you may have gotten the wrong size :thumbsup:

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sounds like the type that tries to change their partner for their own benefit

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Originally Posted by ReUp

I see nothing positive about this honey in any of your posts. That's never good.

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thats the best advice you've ever given me.

After reading all yous guys posts and everything I feel like i'm building up enough courage to cut this off, and live my life. Its not really what you guys and friends have been saying, but more of the mere thought that I am way to young to be planning a future with someone who makes me this miserable already. And even though I love her so much for what she has given me in the past its doesn't seem to be working out now and in the future. It just brings to much unecessary stress of thinking about ways to move her down her, her get a job, live together in peace and harmony, blah blah. Now if I felt completly and truly happy for her i would try everything in my will to do it. But after her deciding to stay in NY, which by the way made things way harder, and seeing those skanky pictures of her (which made me look at her completly different) I no longer things its that worth it. Especially with her adding on not talking to me for going to a show, and what kind of job i choose. I just want to be happy. Thanks for the replies, i think i have something to do this week.

Dump her for good. She'll try to make it hard on you by going extra crazy, either in the first few weeks following the breakup, or a while after she realizes you were one of the few guys who will ever put up with her shit.. but you have to be strong.

Imagine how good your life is going to be after she is completely out of it.

we agreed to try and be friends. we decided we're not going to talk for awhile and till thing smooth out and then we'll try and be friends. we've sorta done this before but i think this time its foreal. this is sort of all dreamy...:(

You'll be fine! eventually she won't even enter your mind! Sounds from what i all read ya did the right thing though! I know from experience that just because it was a bad relationship, and its best that its over, it still hurts like a son of a bitch! Eventually the pain and ache in your heart will pass, and you'll be ready to meet other woman, and have other relationships! Just remeber it was for the best! :D