My new beau has a kink that freaks me out a little...

I just started dating a fella, and while we haven't had sex as of yet we have discussed sexuality. We were very open and honest with one another which I like, but I'm a little worried about one of his kinks. He told me he is really into having his partner strap on a dildo and well... you get the picture. :wtf:

I've never done this before and I have a few concerns. First and foremost, does he have latent homosexual tendencies or is this normal for some straight men? Have any of you ladies done this with a partner? Would you be comfortable if your current partner came to you with this sort of sexual request? I'd really like to hear everyone's opinions because at this point I'm kind of uncomfortable and mildly freaked out at the prospect. :(

I haven't dated in a few years now, and I really like this guy, so I don't want to ruin our chances together by flipping out over this issue. Any advice would really be helpful. Thanks in advance.

This has never happened to me, and I hope it doesn't. While I would definitely be a little turned off -simply a personal preference not to make use of excessive um sexual apparatus, ya know? you, me, and a couple pounds or leather and silicone... oooh baby! haha! does this thing come with an instruction manual? Qucik! Call tech support!- I'm not sure that I'd go so far as to fret over whether my man is wavering in his straightness.
He IS with you, and you ARE a woman... I guess the simplest way would be to ask him how he started thinking about the desire to be bonked in the butt by a chick with a dick.

HEy, maybe he's just an ass man.

Maybe you can find a middle ground that doesn't require fumbling with buckles and straps...

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Originally Posted by GreenLadyOfDankDowns

I just started dating a fella, and while we haven't had sex as of yet we have discussed sexuality. We were very open and honest with one another which I like, but I'm a little worried about one of his kinks. He told me he is really into having his partner strap on a dildo and well... you get the picture. :wtf:

I've never done this before and I have a few concerns. First and foremost, does he have latent homosexual tendencies or is this normal for some straight men? Have any of you ladies done this with a partner? Would you be comfortable if your current partner came to you with this sort of sexual request? I'd really like to hear everyone's opinions because at this point I'm kind of uncomfortable and mildly freaked out at the prospect. :(

I haven't dated in a few years now, and I really like this guy, so I don't want to ruin our chances together by flipping out over this issue. Any advice would really be helpful. Thanks in advance.

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just going out on a limb here.... but does he like being dominated too?

I saw a very similar if not exact question asked in a magazine before. I believe the answer came from someone with a PhD in the field and the answer was no not necessarily but if he thought about being with a guy while the act was done then it was a sign of homosexuality. Wow, I didn't word that well at all but you get the idea. So ask him what he thinks about when that is going on.

Well, we've talked and now I'm even more unsure of this guy. Yes he likes being dominated, which wouldn't bother me if it was the regular run of the mill "Tie me up and spank me!" kind of domination. His idea is for him to get dressed up like a female prostitute, and have me treat him like I'm his pimp. He wants me to be supremely rough with him (like punching him in the face with my fists and beating him with a cane), and basically anally rape him, all while calling him Stephanie. :wtf: I told him I would really have to sit down and think about all of this. I really like Steve, he's a nice guy and outside of the bedroom we have a lot in common, but I'm thinking I'm way too vanilla in my sexual proclivities to please him in the long run. He said he hopes I can accept his desires because he likes me a lot and is tired of being rejected by small minded women because of this issue. I wouldn't consider myself small minded, and don't want him to think of me in that way, but honestly I just can't see myself ever being comfortable with what turns him on the most. He's leaving early in the morning for a business trip out of state and will be gone until Wednesday, so I have three days to work up the nerve to tell him I just can't get into his fetish play. This really sucks, just once I'd like to meet a guy and not have it fizzle out because of weird bullshit.

I dont think he has a problem with small minded women, he's has a problem being a fucking freak. "Rape my ass and call me Stephanie" HAHAHAHA FIND A NEW MAN!!!!!!!! First it will start out like this then this freak will be chasing your dog or cat or whatever pet you have around the house trying to rape it. Sticking his dick in VCR's and shit.

Even though I'm not a phsycologist I'd say he was molested as a child.

No need to call the guy a freak... so he's got a few fetishes. Either you want to be with him or not.

Are you sure this isn't a wind up ?

Mind you I know some pretty freaky folk so it could be for real.
I know a girl who would love to be in your shoes as far as the strap on goes , but I doubt she would be very comfortable with the violence side of things.
I have one rule when it comes to pleasure :
If you don't enjoy it then you probably shouldn't do it at all, that goes for all parties involved.

PS I am glad my arse has only ever seen one way traffic.

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Originally Posted by 20dollarholla

I dont think he has a problem with small minded women, he's has a problem being a fucking freak. "Rape my ass and call me Stephanie" HAHAHAHA FIND A NEW MAN!!!!!!!! First it will start out like this then this freak will be chasing your dog or cat or whatever pet you have around the house trying to rape it. Sticking his dick in VCR's and shit.

Even though I'm not a phsycologist I'd say he was molested as a child.

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/\ /\ Well you have that part right:wtf:

No I don't think he was just winding me up, he seemed really sincere. I'm just going to tell him I'm not into that sort of thing and don't think it'll work out between us. I totally respect his right to enjoy whatever he wants sexually with a consenting partner, and don't necessarily think he's a "freak". He's just too freaky for me. I hope he finds what he's looking for eventually.

20 bucks says he's gonna call you 'just another one of those closed mind women' :wtf:

I guess so, but I'm just not willing to try what he wants.

If you're a normal person that doesn't normally use toys, stop dating this freaky guy. At some point, he's going to need the real non-strap on kind.

Steve just called. He said he could tell the last time we talked that I wasn't comfortable with him now that I know what he's into, and that he figured we'd better just call it quits. He said "I just don't want to invest my emotions in you if you can't do what I need you to do. I thought you were different..." So I told him I was sorry and hoped he could find the type of woman he apparently needs. That's the end of that. :( Hopefully at some point I'll meet a guy whom I have a lot in common with that isn't going to scare me in the bedroom. Thanks for reading and commenting everyone. I appreciate it.

Sorry for the bad luck, keep your head up!!!

Green, I know it's disappointing, but at least you found out early before you fell in love and got hurt. :)

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Originally Posted by GreenLadyOfDankDowns

Steve just called. He said he could tell the last time we talked that I wasn't comfortable with him now that I know what he's into, and that he figured we'd better just call it quits. He said "I just don't want to invest my emotions in you if you can't do what I need you to do. I thought you were different..." So I told him I was sorry and hoped he could find the type of woman he apparently needs. That's the end of that. :( Hopefully at some point I'll meet a guy whom I have a lot in common with that isn't going to scare me in the bedroom. Thanks for reading and commenting everyone. I appreciate it.

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Wow.....thats one real strange kinky desires that guy has! Don't worry though, you were honest, he was honest, and that all there is to it. Just be glad you didn't find out the hard way, with him sprawled out on the bed in a protituite outfit with his ass flung high in the air, and a strap on, on the bedside table "Put that on, and punish me, I've been a very bad whore!" <---- now that would've been scarry as all hell.

You know Gnome, none of this seemed funny to me yesterday, but having smoked two joints in the past two hours, and the way you wrote that, it's too funny. I honestly don't know how it is that I manage to draw all the super freaks. It's like I have Rick James as my guardian angel. :S5:

I know this seems wierd on the surface, but honestly, deep down inside, don't you think all men have a secret desire to dress as a prostitute and be anally raped by a woman dresed as a pimp and wearing a huge rubber dick while she slaps him silly and calls him Stephenie?

If you don't think that is normal, you're just fooling yourself. It's the most natural thing in the world...

Still if you are not comfortable with it, it's best you found out now. I wasn't fully honest with my wife, so after we had been married for awhile I told her I wanted to try something different in the bedroom.

"What did you have in mind, leave the light on? Or maybe talk dirty? That might be kind of fun!"

"No, I was thinking I could dress up like Goldilocks and you could put on a bear outfit and tie me up and and pee all over me while screaming 'Who's this sleeping in my bed, bitch!'"

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Originally Posted by dragonrider

"No, I was thinking I could dress up like Goldilocks and you could put on a bear outfit and tie me up and and pee all over me while screaming 'Who's this sleeping in my bed, bitch!'"

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^^^^ Siggy material right up in thurrrrrr^^^^

Honesty is the best policy.

"Listen, (his name), I am uncomfortable about this whole dildo request, but I am open-minded and willing to try it once. If I don't like it after I try it, I'll let you know."

Then it is up to you to figure the following: yes, it's weird, yes it's kinky, but nobody will get hurt, so why not try it?

You may be uncomfortable doing it, but at least you gave it a fair shot, and heck, you may surprise yourself and get into it. The only way to know is to find out.

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Originally Posted by TheSmokingMonkey

You may be uncomfortable doing it, but at least you gave it a fair shot, and heck, you may surprise yourself and get into it. The only way to know is to find out.

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Cross-dreesing roll-playing bitch-slapping strap-on-dildo ass rape is not exactly like trying broccoli --- you might know you don't like it even before you try it.

Alright, you should do it, but be so hard, so rough, and so rude that he wouldn't possibly want to do it again.

:wtf3: woah bro-no! dropped my lighter on that one...

this is not normal. i cant imagine what kind of guy would like to have this done to him. i am *not* against homosexuality, but no way man. exity only MFs aint NO ONE sticking a damn dildo up donnys deal.

its just not sexy, its not cool, dirk diggler wouldnt agree
:twocents:

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

I guess the simplest way would be to ask him how he started thinking about the desire to be bonked in the butt by a chick with a dick. ...

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lmao, that's great, stinky! :stoned::thumbsup:

I'm proud of you, Greenlady, for recognizing where you felt comfortable going and where you didn't, then letting him know. I suspect there are a lotta people in the world who'd sell out and comply even if it made them uncomfortable. You didn't.

Don't think those were fetishes, Couch Potato. Fetishes are a bit different. The guy had a fairly high-flying masochistic freak flag. Which he's certainly free to fly. I'm a big believer in people doing what makes them happy. He just needs to find another sort of lady to aid him in his particular brand of fun. That desire for super-rough treatment and hard anal rape w/ a strap-on makes me real suspicious something was up with that dude from his past. Play is one thing. But in his desires, there's potential for serious physical damage. Somehow that isn't sexy.

Keep fishin, GreenLady.

you should of pimp slapped him:jointsmile: lol but dont trip that dude was a phsyco in disguise wish i lived in viginia u seem like a nice girl any man would be lucky to get with you and u get high thats a major pluss your better off not finding anything else out about this guy spare u the phsycological scars but trust me you WILL find the right guy just dont be in a rush :hippy:

Steve is the type of sicko that will scour craigslist for playmates, he's not too much VANILLA honey, he's too much DISTURBED. The definition of a MAN does not have anything to do with taking it up the ass while being beaten and called Stephanie.

I think you made the right move in letting this one go.


puff puff pass honey keep that cherry a burnin'

robby

I heard that the guy's G Spot is in his ass. This is not good.

LOL, I thought this thread had died. Tres, you're thinking of the prostate which is sort of like the male "G" spot.

Sounds like everything worked out well...It is just better to get out early..Back to the drawing board..that is where I am right now. LOL

I've found that the older I get, the stranger the men who take an interest in me tend to be. It's sort of annoying, but there isn't much I can do about it. I just have to keep sorting through the ones who flitter my way and hope that I'll find a keeper before I turn into a crone.

Of course, I could end up being one of these people who don't find their true mate until I'm well up there in years. I saw a wedding announcement in the paper the other day for a couple who were in their 70's. On one hand, its sad because they won't have much time together, but on the other it's very sweet that they did find one another and are getting married.

Sounds like this guy has homosexual tendencies. It is best you call it quits if you are not comfortable with his requests. There is someone out there for you just be patient.

Wow, alot of people claiming homosexual tendencies, yet if you read ANY expert report, it will claim that most men that will request anal stimulation are the ones that are TRULY COMFORTABLE in their own sexuality. Think about it, when I jerk off, it's my hand on my penis. A MAN'S hand. Does that mean I want some other dude to jerk me off? No!

I remember the first time I got a rim job. It wasn't even me who requested it. I was dating a girl at the time, and she asked if she could give one to me. I was extremely reluctant at first, but after she convinced me - OMFG! I started realizing then that anal play would only add to my pleasure, not detract from it. Yes, I've taken a tongue, finger, hell even the STRAP ON, in the ass. It was pleasurable everytime, and everytime, each of those appendages was attached to a female (either naturally or with belts/straps). Now, if it was a guy who had his dick in my ass, and I was turned on, then I'm a homosexual. Fact is, I think the male figure is disgusting. So let's see here, if you like a member of the opposite sex, you are a heterosexual. If you like a member of the same sex, you are homosexual. Period. Nothing like, "Well, I like chicks, but I also like things in my ass. No I've never had the urge to kiss a guy." Know what that means? That you're heterosexual. The key phrases in that sentence were, "I like chicks," and "I've never had the urge to kiss a guy." Whether or not you like anal has no bearing on your sexual orientation. Now, I'm not into the whole beating thing, but to each his own. As long as they aren't hurting anyone (against that person's will), then what's the problem?

I think the major fault was that the person never entered the situation before making a judgment on that they wouldn't like it. How many times did you think you wouldn't like a plate of food growing up, but mom made you eat it anyway, and WOW!, turns out I like it! Now, you would have never known that if you went with your gut instinct, but you gave it a whirl, and left better than you went in. If it was gross, then you just spit it out and know not to try it again. Same thing with the situation, start out, if you feel uncomfortable, stop, and don't do it again. But who knows, you may like it! Check out sexuality on hipforums, there's girls over there that PRAY they'll run into a guy that wants to be bent over, as they want to see what it's like on the other side of things.

Now, I'm not one to knock people with fetishes, as I have a cupboard full of my own. My current girlfriend was weirded out by some on paper, but when she went through with some of them, it turns out she likes to play as well! Why do I have so many?

Truth is, some get bored with vanilla sex. There's only so many positions you can do, only so many different rooms in the house you can have sex in, so if you want something different, the only thing left to change is the actual style of sex itself, or your persona. Hence - roleplay, golden showers, strap-ons, threesomes, group sex, etc.

I'm guessing most of the guys in here that are "ass-a-phobes," are under 20 years old. Hopefully you'll revisit this thread in 5 years after your sex life has been revolutionized with anal play.

Steve, when I actually tried them, I was surprised to find that I actually DO like Brussels sprouts! So now I'm thinking maybe I WILL dress up as a pimp, strap on a big rubber dick, give you a good hard ass-raping, while I bitch-slap you silly and call you Stephanie. It's really just a big sexual Brussels sprout, isn't it?

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Originally Posted by dragonrider

Steve, when I actually tried them, I was surprised to find that I actually DO like Brussels sprouts! So now I'm thinking maybe I WILL dress up as a pimp, strap on a big rubber dick, give you a good hard ass-raping, while I bitch-slap you silly and call you Stephanie. It's really just a big sexual Brussels sprout, isn't it?

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It was a figure of speech. I'm surprised you didn't come back with, "Well, I've never tasted shit either, but I'm in no rush to do that!" But at least you had actually seen shit, known what it was composed of, known what it smells like, BEFORE you made that decision. In theory, you interacted with the shit before you made a decision. Not so in this case...

I respect his right to seek whatever sexual fulfillment he needs, but I know that this is something I can do without. I've had past paramours try to coax me into one fetish after another. I know my sexual limits and which hang-ups I can't overcome. I've tried my fair share of Brussels Sprouts, and must state for the record, I'd rather have Asparagus.

GreenLady, of course, those are homosexual tendencies, but, I'd say, they are a bit more towards the curiosity of femininity. That's if you look at it in a good light.

He must've blown your mind because he hasn't even had sex with you, and, he's already told you that he likes it up the arse.

I am not touching this story with a ten foot pole. Sorry.

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Originally Posted by GreenLadyOfDankDowns

You know Gnome, none of this seemed funny to me yesterday, but having smoked two joints in the past two hours, and the way you wrote that, it's too funny. I honestly don't know how it is that I manage to draw all the super freaks. It's like I have Rick James as my guardian angel. :S5:

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Oh lady of the danks! I'm sorry ya seem to attract super freaks, like a prostituite with a strap on up his ass! But I'm sure one day you will find someone that makes dating all those freaks worth it. Each relationship is a lessoned learned, and isn't truly a mistake unless you don't learn from it. You shall find the right guy someday, and you'll get very high along the way! so keep smillin, and lookin foward, yesterday was just a memories of the past, nothin more, nothin less.

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Originally Posted by beachguy in thongs

I am not touching this story with a ten foot pole. Sorry.

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I think that if we were to dig deeper into Steve's fetishes, we would find that he is actually very interested in being touched with a ten-foot pole.