am i overreacting?

so i have my girlfriend, been dating for like a year and 2 months. she moved to NY for a bit before she moves back with me as soon as possible. Tonight she went to some fucking halloween party for her work, and off the back i was annoyed but i didn't wanna be all oppressive and tell her what she cant and can do. so i told her no dancing with guys please. she said i promise i won't. she goes, i go to the skatepark, i'm a little edgy all night and then on my way home she calls me. we have small talk she assures me no guys asked her to dance or anything and acts like the night was innocent. i believe her cause i have no reason to believe otherwise. then i get on her myspace after we get off the phone for a night and look at what of her new girl friends in new yorks myspace that she went to the party with. not trying to be nosy or even catch my g/f doing anything wrong, i want to see pictures of the halloween party when i realize she already put some up.

so the first 2 i see is of my g/f like posing with this guy for a picture. its sort of like friendly but her arms are like WRAPPED around him, in both pictures, and i think in one hes grabbing her ass! but the picture cuts off. maybe i was just being a jealous dick but i automatically get jealous, cause i know who this guy is and he's grinning like some oversexed wannabe mac daddy with a lump in his pants. then i see one of them dancing and her fucking ASS is in his fucking CROTCH. then at that instant she ironically calls to say i love you and i fucking lost it. and i have all the reason to because if it WERE ME in that picture we probably wouldn't be together right now, thats for damn fucking sure. and i've never done anything to this extent.

so i calm down, i tell her i'll get over it and try to look at it as her at some work party hanging out with friends. girlfriends have guy friends right? do you think it was harmless...but i mean her fucking ass was in his crotch, and i was thinking if she even THOGHT about me she would have atleast put an inch of serperation in there. but am i over reacting. and i don't think cheating is a big issue, because the way she was telling me how she can't wait to be with me i believed her and she is NOT the type of girl to cheat. however she is the type to start liking somone else and dump me. she did it with me when her ex moved away. thats a different story.

do you think i'm being jealous and over reacting or is what she did fucked up?

She did it to her ex she'll do it to you too.
Happened to me.
I don't know if your over reacting or not I would have acted the same way man.

Void, I'm going to apologize to you upfront .. only because what I have to say is probably not going to "sound" really positive to you in this venue ..

First off, man, talk about tense and hostile from the jump?! What is up with that? From your second sentence, "Tonight she went to some fucking halloween party for her work, " you told on yourself that you were uptight and not feeling this whole thing AT ALL. I dont think your g/f stood a chance of avoiding your blow-up. Sounds like you were itchin' to let it go. Not sure if there are other things in your relationship to predicate this (my guess, there probably are), but you should step back and read your post again. You may not realize whats there.

'Nuff said about that ...

She's YOUR girl, and sounds like she's right back at your side, where you both feel she belongs. Unless you have a valid reason to blow off your relationship with her, why do it?

Best of luck to you friend, I hope it all works out for you both :hippy:

Blaze on brotha .. blaze on :rastasmoke:

Just imagine that she can grind your crotch hard. You already have pictures as proof. I hope you have an imagination. I know some people that don't.

Also, remember that for her to dance with a guy, like that, then she must have some deep-rooted desire for contact with male genitalia, and, that would turn me on.

if theres one thing ive learned its that there is a fine line between protecting your girl and being jealous....in my experience most girls want you to be protective but they want you to do it without getting jealous....weird i know, but women are crazy, we all know this

i used to be the jealous type, still am a little, and many a times it almost ruined my relationship.....its a lose lose situation, if u get too protective and come off jealous your girl is gonna accuse you of not trusting her, which of course u have to deny....with that said, i found it best to just roll with everything that happens and not flip out until you have some legit proof of something thats a bit more harmful than some dancing

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Originally Posted by cutecalikitty

Void, I'm going to apologize to you upfront .. only because what I have to say is probably not going to "sound" really positive to you in this venue ..

First off, man, talk about tense and hostile from the jump?! What is up with that? From your second sentence, "Tonight she went to some fucking halloween party for her work, " you told on yourself that you were uptight and not feeling this whole thing AT ALL. I dont think your g/f stood a chance of avoiding your blow-up. Sounds like you were itchin' to let it go. Not sure if there are other things in your relationship to predicate this (my guess, there probably are), but you should step back and read your post again. You may not realize whats there.

'Nuff said about that ...

She's YOUR girl, and sounds like she's right back at your side, where you both feel she belongs. Unless you have a valid reason to blow off your relationship with her, why do it?

Best of luck to you friend, I hope it all works out for you both :hippy:

Blaze on brotha .. blaze on :rastasmoke:

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that probably the best advice anyone could ever give. thanks, because what you just said is exactly how i feel, its probably not enought to break up with someone over. but i'm just pissed because she fucking lied to me. she made it sound like she didn't do shit with any guys all night then i see this picture with her fucking ass in some guys crotch. she lied. and about what you said i was waiting to let something go. our whole relationship my g/f acts like her shit don't stink. its always me fucking something up. then the first time she REALLY fucks up i'm like expected to let it go. because fucking believe me if she saw a picture with my crotch up some girls ass i swear we would not be together.

so how am i suppose to feel confident in my decision to just get over it when if it were me she would totally dump my ass. and i still am mad.

Real love is when you accept everything about that person, and is a GINORMOUS commitment... so if you love her, then you will make it work no matter what.
When/If you go to talk to her about the dancing with other guys, just stay calm... don't just get flat out mad at her, and then have you guys in a rage... just tell her you want to have a calm conversation about some of your concerns. I hope everything works out for you!
I hope that made sense!:hippy:

well i decided i'm just going to get over it and not bring it up anymore. its annoying because everytime i close my eyes i imagine this picture with my girlfriends ass in this morons crotch while hes all grinning up a storm. and whats also bothering me is that shes almost broken up with me so many times for IMO the DUMBEST shit like when she used to hate me smoking weed (she eventually got over that, but that still doens't make good of the fact we had all these dumb ass fights over it). and now i'm supposed to get over this picture with her ass in some guys crotch. i guess all this has some dumb comedic value to it that hopefully i can look back on and just nod my head....

girls love attention..need attention
when you are out of sight you are out of mind
i suggest you go to a party with your boys and have some fun

ok look, lieing is lieing, if she told u that she DID not dance with ANYONE, and u saw thoes pix, man u have all the right to be pissed, thats not overreacting at all

if u havent been in the realationship for long, might as well lay ur foot down, say the rules once more, adn hope that she doesnt break ur trust

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Originally Posted by VoidLivesOn

its annoying because everytime i close my eyes i imagine this picture with my girlfriends ass in this morons crotch while hes all grinning up a storm.

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whoa dude chill the fuck out. get over it.

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Originally Posted by ReUp

whoa dude chill the fuck out. get over it.

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what would you have done?

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Originally Posted by VoidLivesOn

what would you have done?

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Nothing man thats how chicks dance.

Void, remember you do have 2yrs invested .. not saying thats alot of time, but it definitely warrants NOT breaking up after 1 party ..

If she keeps you this high strung and stressed out all the time, you may need to give serious consideration to whether or not she is the girl for you. Having someone in your life should make you feel secure and good .. not tense like you seem to feel ALOT of the time ..

She's not the only fish in the sea, nor is she the worse bitch on earth .. try to find a happy understanding in the middle or tell her to kick rocks .. Seems like you have alot of feelings for her, so maybe once you have a chance to just chill out and relax you will feel better.

Much love to ya! Hang tough .. get high often! :hippy:

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Originally Posted by ReUp

Nothing man thats how chicks dance.

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alright we could talk after you saw a picture of me or some other guy humping your long term g/fs ass to shitty music.

I do feel you are overreacting to the fact that she was dancing with some dude. And the grind is really no big deal. Heck, I was at a good friends birthday party the other night and his mother was giving me the bump and grind.

The part that I feel you are righteously upset about is the fact that she told you she wouldn't and then lied to you about it. Trust is one of the biggest thing in a relationship (especially in a long distance one). This is what I feel you should concentrate on.

Best of luck,

CCF

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Originally Posted by ReUp

Nothing man thats how chicks dance.

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There is a difference between just grinding, and grinding a hole in his pants. I done both, and there's a huge difference.

Chick that are loyal to their boyfriends usually keep some buffer room. I grinded with chicks who went with their boyfriends who couldn't or didn't want to dance, and I sure didn't grind a hole in their pants, I actually went out of my way sometimes so they could see I'm being respectful. If I saw a dude grind a hole in my gf's pants, I'd get mad as well. It's normal.

i know i'll make alot of enemies saying this, but maybe this is why i got so pissed off. to ME the grind is fucking worthless and usually so is the music people GRIND to. that is my opinion though. and the way i think like this is because i like being in a normal relationship. not like the ones people in my high school, and people out of high school have(preferrabley irresponsible "clubbers), where they go to parties, drunk or not, and dance with someone else like they don't have respect for the person they say they love everyday. and maybe thats why those relationships never lasted more then a month and they always did stupid shit like get drunk and dry hump someone else at a shitty party.

If your g/f grinds, why don't you do it with her?

With someone you love, grinding is an amazing experience. You can easily make her cum just doing so. It can be sensual with the right person and right music.

And it can just be a fun, dirty, sexed up dance. It just depends.

But you gotta try it before you knock it.

Grinding isn't just high school bro. College....after college....so on and on.

i just feel stupid dancing, i liked it when i was a kid and showing off...but i don't know. maybe its the social clashes with the music and all...i just can't stand it.

i can do a sick ass worm though.

It sounds like you guys need to work out trust and honesty issues in your relationship. I think you two need to sit down and have a serious talk about how you feel about this. Ask her why she was dancing in that way with this guy when she promised she wouldn't dance with anyone, and why she lied about it. Every relationship has its problems, and if you don't work this out now, things may just go downhill from here.

I luv dancing alot and grinding for a girl who does grind is having fun. I dance with all my guy friends and they dance with my firends that are girls. It is not always sexual, your gf just wanted to have fun. But telling a lie is not accepted.

maybe the guy in the picture is a gay salsa dancer. if not i think you should eat her.

that shit wouldnt fly with me, but then Im fukin gangsta like fuk and I look for the girls who act and look like the queen part. What queen you ever seen or heard of get on the table and shit(should be none), what queen have you seen or heard of startin shit and getting gangsta cause of the king(should be all). it goes both ways, and in a pinch you need some assurance, All Im sayin is that shit would not fly with me, same as if I were to do the opposite and she would be in my shoes I would expect that shit wouldnt fly with her. Like I said Gangsta like fuk, organization goes into the relationship too.

Alright dude...

Well this is my opinion on the matter.

You were pissed that she was even going... You planned on blowing up... I would have too...

Well anyways you arent over reacting... she promised... she broke that promise she deserved a bitchin...

But after a while you 2 should both get over and fuck...

Well anyways As someone said earlier with "girls" if you are out of sight you are out of mind...

If your with a "woman" then your always on atleast one part of their their mind and you cant do what im about to tell you to do.

Since your with a "girl" your out of sight out of mind...

Next time she is going to ANY type of party just simply reply
"Ok honey im going to "insert name here"'s party and talk to you later"

She will probably flip out and because you KNOW what shes going to do at that party anyway just lat her worry and fret and nothing will happen between her and another guy at that party she will be to busy worrying if you are out fucking some other girl...

Thats my two cents.

It's natural to feel that way, almost everyone does it. You can't be too controlling over a free women, but then again she shouldn't lie to you. I would have to say that you did overreact but what she did was fucked up, cuz if she really cared about you she wouldn't of done something that you didn't want her to do. My advice is to get out of that relationship fast because it's not going anywhere good.

iunno, i think its sketchy that she told you she didnt dance with ne1 when she did.

but at the same time i have a friend that has a boyfriend and weve hung out and danced before (both knowing it was only dancing) and weve hugged quite a few times aswell... but i think most people would probally think thats a little wierd... some girls are just a little more flirty than most but it doesnt necessairly mean they cheat, or that they mean it in that way.

if i were you i would be pissed even if it was only for the fact that she lied to you, when you trusted her.

also just beacuse theres pictures of her dancing n stuff with him doesnt mean that anything happened, if you know the guy in the photo or know that he is just a friend of hers from before then id say nothing happened... and id probally be ok with it.

but if your uncomfortable with her doing that i dont think she should have. its not like your telling her she cant have male friends or cant dance without you.... just no grinding??? thats reasonable.

seriously dude id let her know your pissed, you should be... she lied to you and did something that she knew made you uncomfortable. and i would be a little sketched out if she has gotten interested in other guys in the past while she was dating someone else. from what you say i dont think anything happened tho.

I don't know if I would do that, Squiggle. I'd be more inclined to think that she would go off and fuck someone else because she thinks that her bf is back at home doing the same.

Like a majority of the above said, the fact that she loves to dance is perfectly normal. Most women do. Most women even love grinding. But she should be grinding on you and only you, IMO.

I think the fact that she told you that nothing had happened at the party when clearly something did is the bigger problem. Above anything else, you have to be able to trust your partner 100%. Until you have a calm conversation, there isn't 100% trust between the two of you.

lies should only be told to the "man".She may have lied to spare your feelings cuz she loves you and knows you're a little jealous but how i see things is if your gonna lie about it then it couldn't have been innocent.Maybe i'm biased though cuz i fukn hate to be lied to about anything.I prefer brutal honesty