Being a nice guy.......

I am a "nice guy" in it's true meaning. Not a hopeless nice guy though. I will stand up for myself, it's just that I:
- seek the approval of others
- I avoid conflict
- I have a difficulty asking for help

Maybe, I've just had it too easy my entire life. I've always gotten what I wanted very easily. I never needed help from anyone, and I got to where I am with little effort.

If someone looked at my position, they'd say it's near perfect, but I'm not happy.

I'm starting to think being a "nice guy" sucks....

What's everyone's opinions?

I used to be a nice guy. I grew out of it.

Being a Security Officer in the ghettos of Downtown Toronto has jaded me a lot. Not so much as that I am not a nice guy anymore, but I do have a lot less sympathy for people who aren't willing to hack it in life, as well as becoming wiser to the ways of people who make a living off of deception and guile.

That being said, I have been taken advantage of a lot by women... wait, girls... when I was in high school because of my 'nice guy' image. It also led one of the football players to pull a knife on me and mug me for a half quarter one day after school. That was 2 years ago, when I weighed 135 and was all skin and bones. I'm 190 lbs now, and I _will not_ let a girl walk all over me again, similarly, I won't hesitate to beat the piss out of some fool who tries to pull a shank on me.

Being a nice guy doesn't mean avoid confrontation, or being happy with simply getting along with everyone, because there are people who will take advantage of you.

Like Rocky said: "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody isn't gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."

Be a nice guy, because its a good thing to be an easy-going, enjoyable, smart person to be around.

Don't be a nice guy for the sake of being a nice guy.

Being a nice guy does indeed SUCK. You're always "the friend" when you're the nice guy.

I'm a nice guy, and while I hold down my aggression for people who are rude and inconsiderate, my only solution is to maintain a positive attitude and move forward. The unfortunate part is that I have put up with this my whole life. Bullying in school wasn't much of a problem, however, I kept my distance from people that didn't have many positive things to say. What's even more unfortunate is that I've put up with this behavior from many of my own friends, and I'm speaking about separate people throughout the stages of my life. Mind you it is about a majority, the rest were actually bright people.

Learning from my observations, people's obnoxiousness and crave for the center of attention are half-witted acts that even I have grown enough to understand. I'm all about progression, so I will be nice guy for the sake of man even still if I lose all but the slightest sense of hope.

yeah being the nice guy fucking sucks. i always try really hard to make sure no one gets pissed at me at all, but then somehow i get fucked everytime!

If you are interested in picking up young immature chicks, or just getting a quick lay, then being a nice guy isnt in your interest.

When you start dealing with older women, its a bit better to be a nice guy, but that doesnt mean being a little insecure pussy either, as that turns off most girls.

Its a balancing act really.

Last night, after a rave I met a chick who goes to UCSD (my school). The entire time I was with her I made it obvious to not seem like a "nice guy."
.....long story short......
she asked for my number when we were parting.

As a nice guy, things like this rarely happen.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by THClord

Last night, after a rave I met a chick who goes to UCSD (my school). The entire time I was with her I made it obvious to not seem like a "nice guy."
.....long story short......
she asked for my number when we were parting.

As a nice guy, things like this rarely happen.

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It's nice to know it worked out for you! Congrats!

How exactly did you change your behavior?

Good for you! Finally you realized being "a nice guy" is only part of who you are.

Like mentioned above, once you learn to balance everything out, things will start to unfold as they should. ~

Being the Nice guy sucks royal ass! I ussually let people walk all over me, but to the hell with that! I'm through with being a door mat! With my X-wife especially! I've been way to nice to her since the break up even though she moved in a guy into the house after we broke up, when i was still livin there! (its was hard to find a affordable place to rent on a single income) and pretended like nothin was going on, but in truth they were dating! So now its been 8 months, and I've tried to remain friends with her, but no its just too much for almost the past 4 months she's not paid her half of the cell bill, and now when i'm gettin pissed off about it she tells me she wants nothin to do with me again, and never to call her again!
Sooo I say to the hell with it, buh-bye celll phone!! and hello divorce!! I'm through with being the Nice guy to her, she's my Ex for gawd's sake, what the F was I thinkin??? I never wanted her back if thats what your thinking..

Girls like the mind game chase its not even about being a nice guy, an asshole or anything accept smart. Its about the game you pull from the knowledge you have from observing girls. Once you watch them and hang around them for a little while and try some different things and see reactions from them, you can pretty much peice together any girls mind set so you can just win the mind game and have them in the position you want them in instead of the other way around. Quicker pussy from the girl you actually want in other words to.

:stoned:

sadly, girls don't care about relationships with nice guys, they love talking to them and being friends with them, but in the end.

it sucks.

if you havent had a relationship yet that's probably why you're still a nice guy, a good bad relationship will strip the nice out of you :)

"The key to a girl's heart is indifference."

I hate the fact that I avoid conflict at all costs. I've been a little better about it lately though and I will stand up for myself more.

I just didn't act too interested at first. Maybe Macro is right, indifference might be the way.

And, today she called and said she needed a ride to UCSD. It was a nice hour long ride. We actually have a LOT in common. Nothing happened, but hey, I havn't even known her for 24 hours. I met her roomates too at the end. Then I bailed.

I'm gonna invite her over to my room to smoke sometime this week.

meh, it has it's downsides, just as with ANYthing else int he world.... i'd rather be a nice guy then a bad ass tho... something about having my freedom for more than 2 months at a time just screams my name....

I was a nice guy when I was a kid too. You don't get a lot of pussy. Know I thrive on conflict. Couldn't give a shit less who I argue with as long as I get argue.

My husband is a nice guy. You know what it got him? A hot MILF who loves him to death and would do anything for him.

Nice guys rock.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by imitator

If you are interested in picking up young immature chicks, or just getting a quick lay, then being a nice guy isnt in your interest.

When you start dealing with older women, its a bit better to be a nice guy, but that doesnt mean being a little insecure pussy either, as that turns off most girls.

Its a balancing act really.

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Right. My husband is nice, but he can hold his own. He's a helluva fighter. He's nice, but he's nobody's punk.

Nice guys is definitely the pits! haha. But just find some girl who will FUCK you over. And you'll be WAY BETTER! Just as Imitator said "its all a balancing act". After you get screwed and see you got walked all over, you move to the middle or just become a dick. I Moved to the middle... and its WAY better.

Being the "Nice" guy...

Yea I have been in this situation ALL my life...

But recently I met this girl and all her friends are now my friends...

None of the are the "Nice" guy and shes a bitch so yea...

So i am slowly groing out of the "Nice" guy stage...

But basically I am in the same situation as you but slowly growing out of it...

Kinda sucks but I found out I get alot more by being a ass...

Guess life just works in weird ways.

nice guys just get shit.

i got all these cool friends that are girls and ill call them to go
see a movie thinking we had a connection and ill i get is the
"lets just be friends" thing.

I F'IN HATE THAT.

This is what I've found 4 days of not being a nice guy anymore.

Girls love you. Girls who have been indifferent suddenly seem to like me. (3 girls seem to like me which I havn't noticed before, in 4 days) I started dating one of them. Just don't show even a bit of interest in a girl before you are sure she is interested in you.

You get more done. Just be honest and say no if you don't want to do something. I did that a couple times I wouldn't have, and none of them got even a bit angry at me.

It's all about facing fears in the end. Being a nice guy is safe, but it won't get you anywhere. I also faced my fears in other areas of my life.

I really feel like I am in control of my life now. Which I hadn't earlier.

Stopping being a nice guy is one of the best things I've done for myself. Thanks cannabis.com for all of your feedback. Without that I wouldn't have been able to do this step without all the confidence I did it with.

I'm a nice guy and even after I got dumped by my ex I still am a nice guy and nice to her...why? Cause that is how I am and I see no reason to be an asshole. But hey why you guys are saying that nice guys cant defend themselves...thats bull I'd kick anyones ass if the abuse me of some sort.

With that said yes being nice to people who disrespects ya is not being nice its being an idiot. But then again as for me I'm nice to everybody and It seems to work fine with me, no enemies, only smiles as I come by...thats great.

For a relationship well some girls are in to nice guys no doubt about it...dunno if being a ass gets ya a good solid relationship though but being nice helps obviously

be nice and kind too all you meet!
peace

Not being a nice guy doesn't mean being an asshole. It's just looking after your own interests and setting boundaries and not letting people take advantage of you.

Me mum used to, (well still does) tell me that girls only went for nice lads. Like fuck they do, i was a 'nice boy' most of my life, did it get me anywhere?

Now that i've stopped being a 'nice boy' i find it easier to talk to girls an shit.

Not just bein able to talk to girls, i've found that i've got more mates, when i used 2 give a fuck i'd worry about loadsa things and generally be a twat. Now the people i hang round with, say i'm sounder than i used to be

i am a nice guy, and i think its awesome due to the fact that it rubs off on people and hopefully you can make someones day better, but though i do avoid conflict, i hate arguing, smoke up people

I wonder who will agree with this statement:

Girls don't want nice guys, they prefer Assholes 'cuz they're a challenge/fun/exciting. Or maybe a "project" to work on....

Women prefer nice guys that also have a backbone, opinions, and know how to treat a woman well but don't take shit from punks.

????????

I agree.^

i agree with you 110% my friend you definitely hit the nail on the head..couldnt of said it better!

Being a woman, we are weary of 'nice guy syndrome' - "I do everything for her and she doesn't give a damn" kinda guys - who, upon rejection, will quick as a flash turn homicidal and post in their blog about burning your family's house to the ground. In those cases "I do everything for her" becomes "FUCKING WHORE ILL RAPE YOU STUPID".

But that's the occasional psycho guy. They ARE out there, so we gotta look out for ourselves, as do the men. Maybe the object of your affection is just a little wary - looking out for her safety.

I tried to go into some philosophical tangent here, but I'm stoned.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Zwitter

Being a woman, we are weary of 'nice guy syndrome' - "I do everything for her and she doesn't give a damn" kinda guys - who, upon rejection, will quick as a flash turn homicidal and post in their blog about burning your family's house to the ground. In those cases "I do everything for her" becomes "FUCKING WHORE ILL RAPE YOU STUPID".

But that's the occasional psycho guy. They ARE out there, so we gotta look out for ourselves, as do the men. Maybe the object of your affection is just a little wary - looking out for her safety.

I tried to go into some philosophical tangent here, but I'm stoned.

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You're not a woman, you're a hermaphrodite! Did you think we wouldn't read your screen-name? Or does it go on a day to day basis?

A co-worker once told me "the worst thing a guy can do is tell me he's nice. If a guy tells me he's nice, I'll assume it's because he's not. If a guy was really nice, he wouldn't need to say it, he would prove it."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by hiroshi_87

Being a Security Officer in the ghettos of Downtown Toronto has jaded me a lot. Not so much as that I am not a nice guy anymore, but I do have a lot less sympathy for people who aren't willing to hack it in life, as well as becoming wiser to the ways of people who make a living off of deception and guile.

That being said, I have been taken advantage of a lot by women... wait, girls... when I was in high school because of my 'nice guy' image. It also led one of the football players to pull a knife on me and mug me for a half quarter one day after school. That was 2 years ago, when I weighed 135 and was all skin and bones. I'm 190 lbs now, and I _will not_ let a girl walk all over me again, similarly, I won't hesitate to beat the piss out of some fool who tries to pull a shank on me.

Being a nice guy doesn't mean avoid confrontation, or being happy with simply getting along with everyone, because there are people who will take advantage of you.

Like Rocky said: "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody isn't gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you can hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward."

Be a nice guy, because its a good thing to be an easy-going, enjoyable, smart person to be around.

Don't be a nice guy for the sake of being a nice guy.

---

rocky is this shit

this is a good question but I dont know how too answer it, everytime Im the nice guy I get fucked, And being asertive and commanding makes you look like a hard ass asshole, but some one has to get mutha fukas in line and check muafukas, so I dont know. Be as nice as you can as you stomp someones teeth into their skull or dont lie often helps let them know, whats up. Good question

Good traits of "nice guys":
they are considerate of others' feelings
they won't piss off your parents
they feel obligated to bring home a paycheck
they'll walk your chihuahua for you without complaint

Bad traits of "nice guys":
they care too much about what other people think
one day, they might go postal because they've been bottling up their feelings
they lie all the time to keep the peace
they can be boring cause they work too hard
they can be sellouts cause they want to be good citizens

It goes both ways on nice guys. It's better to be a guy with integrity who will take the truth as the authority and not the authority as the truth.

But that being said, being an asshole won't get you very far with women of quality.