pass piss test evrytime. (Not Really but a good discussion on Certo/Pectin)

Where I went to high school they drug tested all Varsity football players. I got tested one time about evry 2-3 weeks for 3 years strait. I smoked a good amount at the time.. maybe like 5 or 6 cigarilos a day, and i am fat so i store thc like a mug.

Go to your local grocery store and go to were the jello is. look for CERTO jeleton mix... it is in a blue box. buy 2 0r 3 pack as they are only 75cents or so.. Each pack has 2 bags of this nasty ass smellin shit. drink one strait the night befor if posible. then mix one with water or gatoraid the morning of your test. If it is not posible to do it twice u will probly still be good as long as u drink one strait a few houres befor.

This does not in any way cleen or flush you out.. Certo is very thick and sticky. when you swalow it it runs down into your stomic and creats a barrier between your stomic wall. preventing any thc from going into your piss for at least a day or 2.

It is basicly putting a balon in your stomic, filling it up with water or w.e and then pissing out strait water that has not touched by your stomic wall at all.

This worked 100% of the time for me, and 100% of the time for my homie who is on paper, he got tested one time a month by his p.o

I think the idea is that it gets sticky in your kidneys/bladder, not your stomach. THC would never really ever even get to your stomach, unless you eat brownies. But, I'd rather have someone like FBR confirm this.......

RS

I agree, RS. ^^ FBR, watch 'cha say on this?

I say its dilution, at best. You need to drink a lot to get that Certo down.

Just an educated guess.;)

That's crazy. I don't think I will be trying this one.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BenDover5151420

This does not in any way cleen or flush you out.. Certo is very thick and sticky. when you swalow it it runs down into your stomic and creats a barrier between your stomic wall. preventing any thc from going into your piss for at least a day or 2.

It is basicly putting a balon in your stomic, filling it up with water or w.e and then pissing out strait water that has not touched by your stomic wall at all.

---

WOW!!!

That is one of the most insane things I have ever read here.

Have you had any classes in biology and if you did were you paying attention in them?

Why would you think THC is stored in your stomach? Let me repeat that. Why would you think THC is stored in your stomach? Why would you think Certo creates a barrier in your stomach? Why would you think things go from your stomach straight into your urine? Think about what you just wrote and honestly tell me if any of that makes sense. Certo doesn't coat anything, not your stomach, not your blood vessels, not your kidneys, not your bladder, nothing. To think things enter your body and go through it untouched shows how horrible this explanation is on how you passed. Furthermore, to try to tell people this explanation is even worse because their freedom, jobs, or child may depend on passing a drug test.

I have done my research on Certo though and this is what I have found:

Those that have passed usually are also diluting at the same time they take the certo. Many will mix it into a bottle of gatorade then fill the bottle with water and drink it down, which ends up being about the fluid amount used in dilution.

Certo can also have a slight diuretic effect. Finally, certo contains fruit pectin, which is a form of soluble fiber. I have called the makers of certo, which I think is Kraft, and asked them how much soluble fiber is in a box of certo. All they can tell me is that it has soluble fiber in the form of pectin but they don't know how much (at least the operators for the 800 number didn't have access to that info). In fact, I think the product code is this: 4300029320. See, on the box it says less than 1 gram per serving but there are 64 servings in a box. So that could be anywhere from nearly 0 to almost 64 grams.

Why is soluble fiber important. Your body eliminates most THC metabolites through renal and hepatic elimination (BenDover, that would be your kidneys and liver). Hepatic elimination results in THC metabolites excreted through your feces. Soluble fiber can help prevent these metabolites from being reabsorbed from your feces back into your body. Next, soluble fiber removes bile from your intestine. Your body must then replace the bile so your body pulls cholesterol from the blood to make bile. This process can help make more THC metabolites available for elimination by the liver and less metabolites available for elimination by the kidneys thus less in the urine.

So, most people who pass using certo are probably passing because they are diluting and adding soluble fiber to the dilution process.

I would like for Kraft to tell me exactly how much fiber is in a box of certo but until then, I continue to recommend Metamucil because that is a good source of soluble fiber and I know how much fiber is in it per serving.

Still, better yet, forget smoking while on probation and substitute for your employment tests.

With your low post count and a post filled with incorrect info on human physiology, I hope people will understand the saying "consider the source" and not depend on your method to pass. Ballons, barriers, not touching your stomach walls, what a load of shit.

Naming this thread pass every time when you post such poor information on how the human body works is completely irresponsible.

Thank you FBR. That clears it up.

could it work by separating out the thc metabolites? like the different compounds would travel at different speeds through the certo (like chromatography). or would it be such a small time difference that they traveled that it wouldnt matter?

Fakeboobs sounds good i like all ur input, u really went all out and looked all that up.. i can respect that...Yes you are right i am not a scientst or any thing, and i am not the smartest person in the world as u can tell by my spelling. my intention of this thread was to give a last min solution to a problem.. obviously this way is pretty getto, and only for use if you do not have time for a readycleen or somthing like that.
It has worked for me time after time and i will alweys use it if i dont have a reasonable amount of time to prepare. If i have a day or two, i like a good flush kit wich is sold down the street from where i live.
I should have titled this thread (if desperate, and out of time, try this befor a drug test) maybe i dono..

fake boobs suck anyway.. there fuckin gross,and i hope ur's pop

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BenDover5151420

fake boobs suck anyway.. there fuckin gross,and i hope ur's pop

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Bye

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BenDover5151420

fake boobs suck anyway.. there fuckin gross,and i hope ur's pop

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Dont be talkin shit bout Fake Boobs Rule he been helping ppl out for soo long and you come up with some dumb ass idea of sticking jello up ur ass to pass a piss test get banned already

Brown noser.lol

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BenDover5151420

fake boobs suck anyway.. there fuckin gross,and i hope ur's pop

---

You've been lucky. What you describe will get someone in trouble. FBR speaks from knowledge of science and his experience. Many more years than you've got.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BenDover5151420

fake boobs suck anyway.. there fuckin gross,and i hope ur's pop

---

Ha! There was a whole three minutes before the dummy spit. I agree, If you don't know what you're talking about, think before you spread misinformation, or say something stupid. Thanks for the clarification FBR, although I do agree with Ben about the boobies ... nothing beats real ones!

Take creatine two days before your test, drink at least 48oz of water each day before on the day of the test drink a 16oz water and a small cup of creatine 3 and half hours before your urine test. No thc will be present in your urine, because its stored in your fat and thc is not water saluable so it will blocked by creatine a few days later you would fail because your fat will break down thc into metabolites. Hope this helps don't drink bleach, don't use water pills, or niacin flushes!!! Trust creatine that's what strip and other detoxs are just with extra metabolism blockers.:rastasmoke:

:twocents:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ChipThaRipper

Take creatine two days before your test, drink at least 48oz of water each day before on the day of the test drink a 16oz water and a small cup of creatine 3 and half hours before your urine test. No thc will be present in your urine, because its stored in your fat and thc is not water saluable so it will blocked by creatine a few days later you would fail because your fat will break down thc into metabolites. Hope this helps don't drink bleach, don't use water pills, or niacin flushes!!! Trust creatine that's what strip and other detoxs are just with extra metabolism blockers.:rastasmoke:

---

Wow, lots of misinformation here! Creatine doesn't block THC being released from fat cells. Creatine raises the creatinine level in your urine so that when you dilute your urine by drinking greater than normal levels of liquids your urine can still pass an integrity test for creatinine level. Please read the Dilution sticky to be better informed on the dilution process and why it can work.

Exactly. Creatine has ZERO effect on THC metabolites. Creatine supps are taken to during waterloading to help maintain satisfactory creatinine readings.
Creatine metabolizes into creatinine, taking 2-3 days to do so.

THC is stored in fat cells. When fat cells burn, THC is metabolized into THCA and released back into the bloodstream, making an eventual exit via the urine. There is no such thing as a product that can prevent THC from being metabolized and released back into the bloodstream. The only thing a person can do is stop all exercising 3 days before the U/A, and be as lazy as possible to prevent fat from burning, thus releasing a bunch of THCA into the bloodstream, which end up in the urine to be detected.

Okay... I have looked at soooo many forums that question the Certo method. Im sick of wondering if it works, and so I am going to conduct a little experiment.

At 3:20 PM today I dank a bottle of powerade mixed with a packet of Certo.
At 3:30 PM I filled the empty bottle back up with water and downed it.
At 3:50 I peed...
At 4:05 peed again
At 4:10 I filled the bottle up again, and sipped on it until 4:20, and took 2 asprin (Just heard it helps)
At 4:30 peed again
At 5:20 I took a home drug test ($45.00 at Walmart). I began to fill the Cup midstream.
I PASSED THAT FUCKR!!!!!!!
Hell yes! I smoked last night! I dont know bout yal but i know what works 4 me!

While you might have passed using that method, you haven't proven a damn thing.

For a science experiment to have any validity, you can only change one variable. In your experiment you have changed 2 variables, amount of liquid consumed and amount of certo consumed. Nevermind the fact you don't have a baseline before you changed two variables.

You can't change two variables.

You passed using dilution with the addition of fiber.

I just don't understand why people don't listen.

Everybody thinks they're a scientist even though they don't use the scientific method.

im not trying to prove anything... if that comment was directed to me... im simply trying to get an answer i took a drug test after using MY method... and i passed....
answer seems simple enough to me.

i dont need a reason that it worked. i just needed to know that it would.

take the info as u will... but unless u r a chemist or a doc... u wont sway me. i have seen it work.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Closet Smoker 24

im not trying to prove anything... if that comment was directed to me... im simply trying to get an answer i took a drug test after using MY method... and i passed....
answer seems simple enough to me.

i dont need a reason that it worked. i just needed to know that it would.

take the info as u will... but unless u r a chemist or a doc... u wont sway me. i have seen it work.

---

You saw it work once in a situation that was not controlled. You passed that one time with the particular set of variables that existed in that one instance.

My concern is that someone else will see what you did and try to do the same thing themselves and fail their drug test. Depending on the circumstances this could cost them their livelihood or their freedom.

It is irresponsible to promote a technique that hasn't passed anything close to true scientific testing or come from real scientific knowledge.

Search for Fake Boobs Rule and read his posts. He is a nurse and has extensive knowledge in the area. I see you have posted here twice. You have a lot to learn and I truly hope your "method" doesn't fail you when it really counts.

Well I'm not a nurse but I do have an advanced medical degree that took a little longer than a nursing degree ;) .

I do like that Iguana is on the exact same page as me when it comes to experiments and reproducable results!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FakeBoobsRule

Well I'm not a nurse but I do have an advanced medical degree that took a little longer than a nursing degree ;) .

I do like that Iguana is on the exact same page as me when it comes to experiments and reproducable results!

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I thought I'd seen you referred to as a nurse. Sorry about the mistake, but at least your credentials are even more than a nurse's.

I took enough science classes to have an understanding of the method. That's one of the things that really pisses me off about the government - that they blantantly disregard the scientific method when it comes to MJ research. It is amazing that so much crap gets passed off as truth.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ClosetSmoker24

Okay... I have looked at soooo many forums that question the Certo method. Im sick of wondering if it works, and so I am going to conduct a little experiment.

At 3:20 PM today I dank a bottle of powerade mixed with a packet of Certo.
At 3:30 PM I filled the empty bottle back up with water and downed it.
At 3:50 I peed...
At 4:05 peed again
At 4:10 I filled the bottle up again, and sipped on it until 4:20, and took 2 asprin (Just heard it helps)
At 4:30 peed again
At 5:20 I took a home drug test ($45.00 at Walmart). I began to fill the Cup midstream.
I PASSED THAT FUCKR!!!!!!!
Hell yes! I smoked last night! I dont know bout yal but i know what works 4 me!

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ClosetSmoker24

i dont need a reason that it worked. i just needed to know that it would.

---

I'll give you a reason whether you need it or not: The water and powerade is what made you passed, not the Certo. You passed because you managed to dilute the THCA concentration in your urine so your home test showed a negative. Its easy to pass home tests after drinking copius amounts of fluids. You wouldve passed that home test anyway just on the powerade and water alone, without the nasty Certo that goes with it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FakeBoobsRule

I just don't understand why people don't listen.

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It seems that many spend too much time perpetuating and promoting the Certo myth, and not enough time learning and understanding the cold hard facts behind drug testing, how drug testing works, and how the human body processes THC.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Iguana

My concern is that someone else will see what you did and try to do the same thing themselves and fail their drug test. Depending on the circumstances this could cost them their livelihood or their freedom.

---

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Iguana

It is irresponsible to promote a technique that hasn't passed anything close to true scientific testing or come from real scientific knowledge.

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(*standing up and applauding* :clap: ) In full agreement. The drug testing forum is not a playground. Families, freedoms, and careers depend on the outcome of a drug test.

i just had to add my 2cents here because i keep hearing that the testing could mean so much to someone. it seems like if something means so much to someone they should simply go without the drugs and if someone can't do that than maybe (just maybe) they shouldn't pass the test.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wannabee

i just had to add my 2cents here because i keep hearing that the testing could mean so much to someone. it seems like if something means so much to someone they should simply go without the drugs and if someone can't do that than maybe (just maybe) they shouldn't pass the test.

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You're right, people should bow to their government and obey any unjust law just because it is a law and the government is always right. I mean, that's what this country was founded on. Following rules even if you know they are unjust.:thumbsup:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 420_24/7

You're right, people should bow to their government and obey any unjust law just because it is a law and the government is always right. I mean, that's what this country was founded on. Following rules even if you know they are unjust.:thumbsup:

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i get where you're coming from. i'm not saying that drug testing is a justified practice, i'm just saying that people should be able to exercise some self control for something that is important to them, you know? does that make sense? I like to smoke a lot too, so no offense. i'm just thinking that if it meant i might lose my child or be incarcerated i'd want to go without instead of taking any chances, thats all.

I agree, when I had those consequences facing me a while back I did quit for awhile, but for jobs etc. I put my faith in my trusted method but decided on self control when incarceration and by that my wife and son were on the line, besides I figured that I screwed up and got in trouble so I didn't have the right to smoke at that time anyways. To each there own but if someone is taking the risk they certainly should not be confused or misguided by misinformation or simply being told something will work when there is nothing to support the claim and they do have so much on the line.
I knew a kid that bought jars of pickles and drank the liquid to "pass" the piss test LOL, it work for him twice but not the third, I did not tell him to do this I laughed at him and told him if he was willing to buy and drink that much pickle juice he might as well try the detox drink over pickle juice, if anything I think dilution is what "made it work" b/c he drank so much water and stuff with it. I AM NOT SAYING TO GO OUT AND BUY AND DRINK PICKLE JUICE, I just thought it was a funny story of how people get misinformation and put there faith in it, and he did end up going to jail so it also shows how important keeping the info to solid facts based on science and experience is, like it is here for the most part, not some crazy thing you once tried and it happened to work being repeated as a "sure fire way to pass every time", I personally don't believe any method should be described that way anyways b/c at a very minimum human error is always a strong possibility.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wannabee

i get where you're coming from. i'm not saying that drug testing is a justified practice, i'm just saying that people should be able to exercise some self control for something that is important to them, you know? does that make sense? I like to smoke a lot too, so no offense. i'm just thinking that if it meant i might lose my child or be incarcerated i'd want to go without instead of taking any chances, thats all.

---

Well what you said in your first post is that if they don't want to go without they shouldn't pass. What I'm saying is that people should be able to pass without going without, being that the drug test to begin with is an unjust practice.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ClosetSmoker24

Okay... I have looked at soooo many forums that question the Certo method. Im sick of wondering if it works, and so I am going to conduct a little experiment.

At 3:20 PM today I dank a bottle of powerade mixed with a packet of Certo.
At 3:30 PM I filled the empty bottle back up with water and downed it.
At 3:50 I peed...
At 4:05 peed again
At 4:10 I filled the bottle up again, and sipped on it until 4:20, and took 2 asprin (Just heard it helps)
At 4:30 peed again
At 5:20 I took a home drug test ($45.00 at Walmart). I began to fill the Cup midstream.
I PASSED THAT FUCKR!!!!!!!
Hell yes! I smoked last night! I dont know bout yal but i know what works 4 me!

---

you paid 45 dollars for a drug test


:S2:

home drug tests are not a reliable source
so you wasted your money try doing it
and sending it to a lab where they test
it better yet get every pot smoker you
know and can get a hold of to do it and
send it to a lab get a good exact ratio
AND
then shit on your hand and throw it
like the monkey you are! think next time
remember you walk on two feet
and can stand upright:] one of
the best quotes you can ever
hear and repeat: if you can't handle
the heat stay out of the FUCKIN(variable :])
kitchen!

Quote:

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home drug tests are not a reliable source
so you wasted your money try doing it
and sending it to a lab where they test
it better yet get every pot smoker you
know and can get a hold of to do it and
send it to a lab get a good exact ratio

---

Just goes to show that you need considerable education on how drug testing works. Because if you really knew what you were talking about, youd understand that:

1)To keep costs down, labs will perform an initial Immunoassay screen on the urine sample first. Only when the sample fails the initial I/A, that the sample undergoes a confirmation GC/MS and an exact quantitative value provided. The IA is a "pass/fail" deal and has no ability to provide a quantitative analysis.

2) The home THC test kits, being assays themselves, are just as reliable as the I/A's used at the labs for the initial screen. So if youre routinely passing home tests (with the first void of the day), you'll pass the initial I/A screen at any time. And when a urine sample tests negative on the initial I/A, the testing process is finished and no confirmation test will be performed.

As I stated previously, the Drug Testing forum is not a playground. Theres careers, families, and freedoms at stake and factual info is vital here. If this idea doesnt suit you, then perhaps the Drug Testing forum is not for you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Burnt Toast

Just goes to show that you need considerable education on how drug testing works. Because if you really knew what you were talking about, youd understand that:

1)To keep costs down, labs will perform an initial Immunoassay screen on the urine sample first. Only when the sample fails the initial I/A, that the sample undergoes a confirmation GC/MS and an exact quantitative value provided. The IA is a "pass/fail" deal and has no ability to provide a quantitative analysis.

2) The home THC test kits, being assays themselves, are just as reliable as the I/A's used at the labs for the initial screen. So if youre routinely passing home tests (with the first void of the day), you'll pass the initial I/A screen at any time. And when a urine sample tests negative on the initial I/A, the testing process is finished and no confirmation test will be performed.

As I stated previously, the Drug Testing forum is not a playground. Theres careers, families, and freedoms at stake and factual info is vital here. If this idea doesnt suit you, then perhaps the Drug Testing forum is not for you.

---

thank you for the lecture but it serve's no purpose
i meant a ratio on who passed and who failed

i didn't give out any incorrect information
besides saying the dude was a monkey
and saying the home tests aren't good enough
because passing a home test is much much more
easier then passing a lab test

but thank you for the information
that was interesting:jointsmile:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SKYTZO

because passing a home test is much much more
easier then passing a lab test
that was interesting:jointsmile:

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RFLMAO much much more easier LOL especially when they use basically the same preliminary test, in other words thanks for the lecture which I absorbed nothing from LOL

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SKYTZO

thank you for the lecture but it serve's no purpose

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Sounds like a personal problem on your part.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SKYTZO

i meant a ratio on who passed and who failed

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No you didnt.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SKYTZO

i didn't give out any incorrect information

---

Yes you did.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SKYTZO

besides saying the dude was a monkey
and saying the home tests aren't good enough
because passing a home test is much much more
easier then passing a lab test

---

Again that just shows that you need to be educated on how drug testing works, whether you care to realize it or not.

n2's dilution sticky is all you need to pass a drug test

if you know when the test is, structure your dilution accordingly

if you're subject to random screenings, dilute yourself or obtain clean urine and keep it on your person whenever you go to work, in order to substitute. (various ways of raising temp)



all other potions, gimmicks and theories are hardly worth mentioning. n2's dilution sticky is pretty much all you need.