Quitting pot for her: UPDATE

A long time ago I asked you guys whether or not you think its worth it to quit smoking pot for a girl. Many people said she must be joking, just keep on toking. However, a few people realised how pathetic it must be that I find getting high more important than my girlfriend.

Well, when she asked me to quit, I did, and then after about 2 or 3 months, she gradually started letting me smoke again. First only at parties, then just around her, and now whenever the hell I want. She was just worried that I only liked her because I was high all the time.

So here's a heads-up to all you love-nuts out there. If your significant other asks you to quit, it might only be temporary.

That's great news, Moeburn! I'm glad you gave us the happy ending to the story. If I'd been a girlfriend to a steady smoker, I'd likely have had the same concern. I mean, really, if it seemed like a guy had to be stoned or drunk to interact on a romantic basis or be comfortable enough to be with me, that would definitely be a concern. Glad you alleviated her fears and that she wasn't insisting you quit because of some moralistic judgment against cannabis itself.

That's pretty cool. Sounds like she just wanted to know you, without being high, first. And she probably saw that you were willing to give it up for her and was like "Damn! This guy must really like me!" Glad to hear it all worked out!!!!!!!!!!

That's cool dude, and definitely, you gotta pick what's more important, and you shouldn't be high all the time, especially around your girl. My girl doesn't like weed, but she's fine with me smoking, and I've smoked around her as well.

you got lucky... most 'significant others' want you to quit for their own personal reasons.... alot of which for the simple control factor.... the next highest percentage comes from govt. inspired propoganda....

besides... i hate to rain on your parade... but there's still a high probability your first big fight she'll throw it in your face....

wife was wanting me to quit too... and instead of just standing up and saying no, i kept leading her on with hope i would eventually.... after awhile it was one of her major peices of ammuntion durring our fights...

she wasn't the first that wanted me to quit and she wasn't the first to use that as 'ammo' durring arguments/fights either....

I used to smoke everyday until I met a special girl who I quit weed for.

Yeah, girls really hate it when you need to get wasted in order to enjoy being with them more.
She had an ex who was a drunk and she broke up with him for that, and another ex who was a pothead that wouldn't even touch her unless he got stoned first.
It meant a lot to her that I stopped weed altogether for her.
Actually, you guys must be wondering where I've been the past 8 months. Well... we broke up and I'm back to smoking! LOL!

When smoking with the same free loading drug addict careless friend every weekend got really boring and depressing for me I got a girlfriend and quit weed altogether for her including visiting this site. It was worth it though. I met a lot of new people and made a lot of new friends because I was socializing again. I really cared about her a lot though. I did a lot for her. Instead of spending money on the next dime it went to her. She became my new drug lol!

Don't ever cheat on your girl with Mary Jane. Even though MJ ain't even a human it still hurts.
"Hey baby, naw I'm too lazy to see you right now, I just wanna get high and eat my dinner.."
Or
"ooh.. make love to me now" - "Hang on baby, I totally gotta get high for this moment!"
lol yea chicks hate dat shit

I would never quit for a girl, I quit for I and I alone. If a girl likes me, then she can't try and change me, she should respect my decision to smoke a peaceful plant which doesn't cause anyone but potentially myself minimum harm. She should like you for who you are. My g/f doesn't blaze and maybe never will but i respect her decision and would never force her to smoke as she would never force me to quit. I would never deprive myself of happiness for sexual, animalistic pleasures. I want both :D

This would be much easier if you were a degenerate, like me. :glugglug:

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

I would never quit for a girl, I quit for I and I alone. If a girl likes me, then she can't try and change me, she should respect my decision to smoke a peaceful plant which doesn't cause anyone but potentially myself minimum harm. She should like you for who you are. My g/f doesn't blaze and maybe never will but i respect her decision and would never force her to smoke as she would never force me to quit. I would never deprive myself of happiness for sexual, animalistic pleasures. I want both :D

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I'm not sure you understood what he was telling us her motivation was. She didn't make that request to change him or to deprive him of happiness. She just wanted to make sure the only reason he liked her wasn't because he was high all the time.

I understood, i just felt like sharing my own opinion.

She should have known that he liked her when they agreed to go out... He was probably sober at the time of asking, if not: there were sober occasions when feeling were shared. Of this I am sure.

Good times

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

I understood, i just felt like sharing my own opinion.

She should have known that he liked her when they agreed to go out... He was probably sober at the time of asking, if not: there were sober occasions when feeling were shared. Of this I am sure.

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How can you possibly know this ?
I was stoned for fifteen years, get up toke , keep toking till sleep.
That was my lifestyle and in 15 years there was never a sober moment.

Quitting is easy and I personally believe that everyone has to decide for themselves whatever thier reason or motivation.
I quit because I felt like going back to purely recreational use, I am glad for you moe , they do say a change is as good as a rest.. LOL

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Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho

besides... i hate to rain on your parade... but there's still a high probability your first big fight she'll throw it in your face....

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nah, we've had our fair share of fights, that never really came up.

For the record, I think part of the reason for her asking was because when we first met, we were high at a concert. I think she wanted to make sure my decision to go out with her wasn't the same as a decision to eat 15 fudge brownies (a stoned decision).

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Originally Posted by psychocat

How can you possibly know this ?
I was stoned for fifteen years, get up toke , keep toking till sleep.
That was my lifestyle and in 15 years there was never a sober moment.

Quitting is easy and I personally believe that everyone has to decide for themselves whatever thier reason or motivation.
I quit because I felt like going back to purely recreational use, I am glad for you moe , they do say a change is as good as a rest.. LOL

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When you wake up, you are sober, until you smoke again, therefore you had sober moments.

Imo, thinking someone likes you only because they're high is ridiculous. It seems imaginary to me, farcical if you will, as if it were from an internet forum. Not that I am saying you are lying, i am simply saying that this particular scenario is so unusual, at least for me to comprehend. I've never heard of it before and i probably never shall again.

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

Imo, thinking someone likes you only because they're high is ridiculous. It seems imaginary to me, farcical if you will, as if it were from an internet forum. Not that I am saying you are lying, i am simply saying that this particular scenario is so unusual, at least for me to comprehend. I've never heard of it before and i probably never shall again.

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At least you owned this one yourself with "IMO" and "I've never heard of it before."

If you'll take some time to do some reading about how people in relationships with substance-users frequently feel, you'll see that this is a very common question/concern they have. It's covered in medical psychopathology, in psychology and psychiatry texts, and is dealt with frequently in support groups that deal with substance-related issues. What's farcical is only seeing this through the filter of your own experience not comprehending that someone else's experience could easily be different from your own. You may well not ever hear of it again, but that'll be because you've got your own hands clapped tight against both ears.

LOL Birdgirl

For lack of better words, Birdgirl consistently pwns noobs.

dude i totally feel you. i've been dating this chick a whole year and she wanted me to quit from the beggining. At first it was hard cause like just cause i toked didn't mean i didn't love her but she thought otherwise. Near the end of the year she started to smoke with me. Its all good now. But those first few months were HELL.

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

When you wake up, you are sober, until you smoke again, therefore you had sober moments. .

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Wake up, light up,,,,,,,, you're right when you say moments because it certainly wasn't any longer than a moment :stoned::D

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Originally Posted by ReUp

For lack of better words, Birdgirl consistently pwns noobs.

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Please don't imply I am a noob ever again. You have nearly 300 posts and just joined this year.

Birdgirl: I shall reiterate that I, or any of my friends, have never heard of, nor witnessed such occurences such as in this thread. Therefore, I assesed my thoughts. Perhaps it is hard for you to understand that I have never encountered this.

The ability to like someone is independent of cannabis, was this affection for your girlfriend only afflicted because of your impairment on cannabis, Moe? Did you have feelings for her before you met her at this concert, while high? If you can be 100% honest and tell me that you were always high when you started liking this girl, then, and only then, i will give her theory some credit.

If a girl came to me with that question i would question, well firstly, if i was going out with a girl, she would KNOW i liked her, regardless of cannabis. So, if she asked me that, i would question why she is paranoid and lacks trust and i would asses that it is her lack of self esteem or confidence that provokes these questions. Why is she threatened by a plant? It should be obvious that you like her more, even if you smoke multiple times a day. You don't wanna have sex with ganja or kiss it, or hold it's hand, or have a baby with it...

Anyway, i'm way too deep now to go back.

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

Please don't imply I am a noob ever again. You have nearly 300 posts and just joined this year.

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I didn't even look at who wrote it. I don't judge peoples opinions on post count or join date. Your argument was crap regardless.

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Originally Posted by ReUp

I didn't even look at who wrote it. I don't judge peoples opinions on post count or join date. Your argument was crap regardless.

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What made it crap? Go on, elaborate, if you can. Your use of the word noob was beyond ironic. It makes me question your motives behind why you posted it. Do you want some laughs to feel better about yourself? Do you enjoy pleasure at other people's expense? Learn that what you say will have consequences and retalliations.

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

Birdgirl: I shall reiterate that I, or any of my friends, have never heard of, nor witnessed such occurences such as in this thread. Therefore, I assesed my thoughts. Perhaps it is hard for you to understand that I have never encountered this.

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I think you already answered your own question with this cute little excerpt.

That's nice. Smoke some cannabis and have yourself a ding dang diddly day.

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

Please don't imply I am a noob ever again. You have nearly 300 posts and just joined this year.

Birdgirl: I shall reiterate that I, or any of my friends, have never heard of, nor witnessed such occurences such as in this thread. Therefore, I assesed my thoughts. Perhaps it is hard for you to understand that I have never encountered this. .

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The ability to view things from a perspective other than your own would help but since you seem incapable of doing that then you will always lack understanding.

My girlfriend used to get mad at me alot becuase I smoked cannabis. But about a month ago, she educated herself about marijuana and why people do it and realized things. And she even has taken a few hits between now and then, suprisingly lol

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Originally Posted by psychocat

The ability to view things from a perspective other than your own would help but since you seem incapable of doing that then you will always lack understanding.

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Your lack of ability to conclude that I can view things from perspectives besides my own exposes a misunderstanding.

One issue does not dictate universalisability.

Use of Immanuel Kants oft misunderstood and contentious universalizability. Your spelling is incorrect.
How does that relate ?
Morals are not the question here.

Methinks you just enjoy talking cobblers !

The concept of universalizability was set out by the 18th-century German philosopher Immanuel Kant as part of his work Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals. It is part of the first formulation of his categorical imperative, which states that the only morally acceptable maxims of our actions are those that could rationally be willed to be universal law. The precise meaning of universalizability is contentious, but the most common interpretation is that the categorical imperative asks whether the maxim of your action could become one that everyone could act upon in similar circumstances. If the action could be universalized (i.e., everyone could do it), then it is morally acceptable. Otherwise, it is not. For instance, one can determine whether a maxim of lying to secure a loan is moral by attempting to universalize it and applying reason to the results. If everyone lied to secure loans, the very practices of promising and lending would fall apart, and the maxim would then become impossible. Kant calls such acts examples of a contradiction in conception, which is much like a performative contradiction, because they undermine the very basis for their existence.

You say it's pathetic to choose smoking over a girl? Oh really.... I think it is pathetic to be with someone who can't accept you for who you are and try to mold you into their ideal mate. If some girl made me choose, i'd say nice knowing you, bye. That's just me though.

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Originally Posted by psychocat

Use of Immanuel Kants oft misunderstood and contentious universalizability. Your spelling is incorrect.
How does that relate ?
Morals are not the question here.

Methinks you just enjoy talking cobblers !

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I know my fair share on Deontological Ethics. Tomato, tomato

universalisability - universalisability from FOLDOC

Universalizability - Universalizability - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The Z, is usually associated with Americanized spelling, i believe. You assume for some reason that I can only view things from my own perspective, while I can't see inside of yours and only through mine, i can understand others, even though I may not agree. Understanding your point of view and agreeing with you are two different things. My point is that i won't quit for anyone besides me, I am that I am, no one can forcefully change me, that goes against my human rights and liberty. They can attempt to persuade me, however the decision is ultimately mine.

Just because i believe this one thing doesn't necessarily mean i agree with all it's universal traits. If you catch my drift.

Anyway, since you like Kant, i'll leave you with his famous words:

I should act, so that i may will my maxim to be a universal law.

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

Not that I am saying you are lying, i am simply saying that this particular scenario is so unusual, at least for me to comprehend. I've never heard of it before and i probably never shall again.

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You as much as admit the concept is alien to you , to be able to understand we must also be able to place ourselves in the position that you already said you have difficulty comprehending.

PS I do agree with you on the idea of changing for others but only to a degree. if the change is a positive one then it may well be worth the sacrifice.
Even where ganja is concerned, I'm sure we all know of at least one person who would maybe be better off not toking.

The concept is new, therefore i needed time to comprehend it, your quote was from the past, i have since understood and moved on. I did put myself in his situation, empathy, i believe. I assesed the situation and decided a route of action that differed his and favoured mine. I in no way criticize his actions, I just continue to make mine and mine alone. I listen to advice and ponder what best suits my preference utilitarian aswell as other values. If someone needs to change, then they must realize it for themselves before it can truly occur. Forced change is submission of will and of freedom. I believe this a situation that has no right or wrong answer, one person is no more intelligent then another for deciding to quit cannabis for someone or not. It is a situation that can only be decided if you are actually in the circumstances, when they immediately effect you, then and only then can you decide what to do and which is the better decision for you.

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Originally Posted by Nog

You say it's pathetic to choose smoking over a girl? Oh really.... I think it is pathetic to be with someone who can't accept you for who you are and try to mold you into their ideal mate. If some girl made me choose, i'd say nice knowing you, bye. That's just me though.

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I bet you wear Che t-shirts too! You rebel, you!

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

. If someone needs to change, then they must realize it for themselves before it can truly occur. .

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On this we agree.

Progress

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Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue

Progress

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Elaborate please .

Progression of shared ideas and community cohesion.

whats up had to drop in.

well im 22 when i was 16 i was with this girl for almost 3 years. she always wanted me to quit. thats when i discovered that i actually love green and not her. i actually did quit for a couple of months. it sucked.

too much emotion=all bad. turn it down a notch. go slow buddy less is more.

i will always have an ace up my sleeve. you cant phaze my blaze. while one girl might leave me herb will always love and enhance my soul. psychotropic freedom baby feel the colors!




DONNY:stoned:

I really don't understand how anybody can be happy in a relationship where they need to ask their partner what they are allowed to do. If I wanted someone to tell me what to do I'd move back home with my mom.

My dad is the same way as you, probably why he's on his 3rd marriage, because he always tries to please his partner rather than stand up for what he likes himself, and in the end it never works out. Maybe you should think about that for a little while, because he is now an old man and after 2 divorces, doesn't have a lot of money.

It's really sad, and is exactly why I will never give up something I like for anybody else.