AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing
In on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

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I thought it was funny :p

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Originally Posted by Hardcore Newbie

I thought it was funny :p

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Me too.. and I am

hahaha thats funny as hell

haha, funny,


peace out TjM

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Originally Posted by sam44

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i liked the music, what is used? keyboards guitar? and if a guitar what kind

very clever..... I chuckled....I'm also sipping on a tequila/Bacardi smoothie...blended by muah...with alot of frozen blueberries added to the mix..not that my drink is of any importance... it just contributed to my laughing a lil easier :P
still a great joke
I know a couple atheists I'll tell it to

Funny yet incredibly lame at the same time.

Yeah...Kinda annoys me when christians try and say I'm religious 'cos I say "Jesus christ" or "Oh god". It's just words that are commonly used in my society. It's not like when I say "For FUCK SAKE" I'm actually considering the roots of the word, and its real meaning.

It's just a word or phrase that reflects the situation. Or somthing.

Funny tho' :D

Atheists are as bad as Christians sometimes, haha.

Atheist during orgasm: Oh, random! Oh, CHANCE!

And here's one for the stubborn Christians.

There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house.

The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, "You can't stay here you have to come with us."

The old man replied, "No, God will save me." So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came, and again told the old man he had to come with them.

The old man again replied, "God will save me." So the boat left him again.

An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.

Again the old man refused to leave stating that, "God will save him." So the boat left him again.

Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, "Why didn't you save me?"

God replied, "You dummy! I tried. I sent three boats after you!!"

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Originally Posted by Mr. Bubbles

Atheists are as bad as Christians sometimes, haha.

Atheist during orgasm: Oh, random! Oh, CHANCE!

And here's one for the stubborn Christians.

There was an old man sitting on his porch watching the rain fall. Pretty soon the water was coming over the porch and into the house.

The old man was still sitting there when a rescue boat came and the people on board said, "You can't stay here you have to come with us."

The old man replied, "No, God will save me." So the boat left. A little while later the water was up to the second floor, and another rescue boat came, and again told the old man he had to come with them.

The old man again replied, "God will save me." So the boat left him again.

An hour later the water was up to the roof and a third rescue boat approached the old man, and tried to get him to come with them.

Again the old man refused to leave stating that, "God will save him." So the boat left him again.

Soon after, the man drowns and goes to heaven, and when he sees God he asks him, "Why didn't you save me?"

God replied, "You dummy! I tried. I sent three boats after you!!"

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That man was right. God did save him cause he made it to heaven! :D

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Originally Posted by Quantummist

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

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