Feeling like shit, gonna vent.

I've been with this girl since we were like 10, and we were always really solid, fully in love. We're 18 now and broke up over the summer. Since then, she doesn't make an effort to talk to me, or even respond to my calls for that matter. Found out tonight shes having sex with some other guy, and I know this is all stupid and retarded for you guys to read, but fuck. I don't know what to do, it feels like I'm insane now. I can't even explain, nor do I want to try. I pretty much expect the response "You're still young, so many people, blah blah", but I don't even want to meet other people. This is so horrible.

I don't know what to say to make it feel better. I've been in a similar situation so what I did was write a letter to this person, make sure you put everything you feel on the letter and then when you're done seal it up and leave it be. It'll help you, I did that and its great! Then when you're done with that, you can try to find things to occupy your mind from these thoughts and slowly each day you'll forget about her and think about her less as each day passes.

8 years, wow that's tough man because that is longer than some marriages these days. It is going to take some time to get over so don't expect the hurt to go away. That guy probably doesn't have crap on you because she was with you for 8 years and he's getting her while she is probably on the rebound. You are more of a man in your pinky than this gabroni if she was with you for half her life. So grieve for the next few months but pick yourself up off the ground and get back in the game and go out with some little hottie as quick as possible. Treat yourself nice over the next few days, maybe buy you some "I'm getting a new girlfriend clothes" or throw a party in your honor or take yourself out for a nice dinner. Take care of number 1. Back off the phone calls for a while. Don't be so up her ass but if there is a chance to talk to her and you are dating someone else, drop that on her and tell her your happy. If you stop calling for a while she might think you found someone else and it might make her jealous. Childish, I know but that is the game we play.

The scars remind us that the past is real.....

Thanks for the responses. And I've tried the writing thing before with other issues and I tend to just focus on my depression without trying to, then I feel really dumb.

:smokebong::sorry1::sorry1::sorry1::sorry1:

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Originally Posted by Not An Addict

Thanks for the responses. And I've tried the writing thing before with other issues and I tend to just focus on my depression without trying to, then I feel really dumb.

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It's OK to go with your depression. It's part of the grief process and it's healthy. 8 years is a long time and your not going to heal over night. Take time for your self and toke a little if it helps. Soak in a hot tub and just toke and relax.

Man you were in a LTR and it's not going to heal overnight. If you need to cry then damn it cry. Stop trying to contact her, because right now all it's going to do is make you feel worse. After a while you will start feeling better and will start noticing that you are feeling better about the situation.

Take this time to reflect and concentrate on yourself and what you have to offer someone in a relationship.

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Originally Posted by Bogart

Take this time to reflect and concentrate on yourself and what you have to offer someone in a relationship.

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Absolutely nothing..

When I get really depressed I work out, like a fiend and run and run and run, it eases my mind by taking all the nervous energy out of my body. Also I found that having sex with another chick usually marks the end of my depression over the previous on. Sometimes sex w.o. a relationship is a decent segway.

I appreciate the advice but even after we ended our relationship I turned down sex a few times. I really only want her.. sounds retarded, I know.

Time heals all wounds. You will feel better, but it will take awhile.

Good luck.

My condoloences. May your heart heal fast.

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Originally Posted by dannyboy420

Time heals all wounds. You will feel better, but it will take awhile.

Good luck.

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Yeah Man, gd advice, you won't believe it but ya just got to give it time!
Personally, I found easier not being in contact, ya know? dont go to the same party's that kind of thing. You'll eventually move on and be friends or move on and not!

Peace :jointsmile:

I don't have any advice to give. All I can say is, I've been there it sucks. When I was ready to move on, I couldn't get any chicks. And that sucked more. But then I learned how to get chicks. That was cool. Then I met my wife. That was awesome. Anyway, this whole process took 8 or 9 years. But, I did not see my first long term girlfriend very much or talk to her afterward. It helped.

She was gonna be my wife in a few years :/
fuck.

Anyways, thanks for being cool guys.

I'm so sorry that you're feelin' down:(

Writing a letter to her would probably make you feel better, even if you just rip it up when you're done. Just a way to get all of your feelings out. Always helps me. Cheer up. Everything will work out. If it's meant to be...it will happen when the time is right;)

This blunt is dedicated to you, my friend:)

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Originally Posted by Not An Addict

Absolutely nothing..

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I lost someone who I was about to marry, she died a year before the marriage.

It feels like you have given everything that is you to that woman, and that you have nothing you will ever be able to give to someone else. I remember that feeling very well.

But then I slowly started realizing that she gave herself to me as well. And that changed who I am, and made me a better person. I started seeing that even if there wasnt anything for me to give, I could work on building myself back up to be able to give something to someone again.

She has changed your life forever. Your life is different then it was before you met her, and its for the better. Its allowed you to learn to love, and care, and expanded who you are in ways you may not even see yet. You need to take the time to explore yourself again, find out who you really are now, and go from there. I am willing ot wager that you will find a new but familiar person in there, and thats the start.

Most of all, dont allow yourself to get caught up in regret for what has happened. It is sad, devestating even perhaps, but do not regret it. To regret it would mean that you wish all those wonderful times had never happened, and those memories are to be charished. They hurt like a bitch right now, but over time, they will become things that you look back upon fondly, if not maybe a little sadly. Also, your time with her is going to lead you to new paths you wouldnt be on otherwise. One day, you will find someone who you love deeply, and wish to make your wife, and you will be so happy that you dont even know what to do with it all. And you will have gotten to that point in life because of everything that happened in your past, good and bad.

Its a rough process, and my best advice is to stick around friends, lean on them for moral and emotional support when you need it... if they are true friends, they will already be handing those two things out hand over fist for you, because they care. Dont regret, dont look back upon anything with regret, and take this time to rediscover who you are on the inside. I know I found a completely different person when I took the time to look.

Chin up my man, life is full of ups and downs, and its a testament to a persons strong will that they can pick themselves back up again after getting knocked flat on their asses. Take your time standing back up if you need, but dont ever look away from that goal of getting back up and trying it again.

Imitator that was deep. I would just like to add, that now I am 32. I look back on my past relationships fairly. The bad times were bad, and the good times were good. But, now I am more emotionally detached from them. I don't get upset when I think of the bad memories. One day, it will feel like that for you too. I know, it sounds completely insane right now, but I have walked in your shoes not so long ago, my friend.

I'm kinda going through the same thing with a lady friend or former lady friend but you should fill your time with friends and family. I mean I know it sucks to be ignored but the attempt is enough conversation for this "Girl" and the sooner you stop the sooner she is either going to realize she needs you as a friend or lover. In the mean time don't start looking for shit if you are meant to find love it'll come to you. Good luck and sometimes ppl just need a brake and when they get it they realize what there missing. Oh make sure not to turn into a man whore, ass, slut, or any other negative shit that might result in her not wanting to get back with you. Keep us posted mate and I am truly sorry and love is love regardless of the age.

Its been a little while, but I'm feeling a little better everyday. Spent the night at a girl friend's house and it's not so bad.

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Originally Posted by Not An Addict

Its been a little while, but I'm feeling a little better everyday. Spent the night at a girl friend's house and it's not so bad.

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Glad to hear that things are going better for you.

Any specific things that you are seeing differently now, in reference to the things you have said in the previous posts?

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Originally Posted by imitator

Glad to hear that things are going better for you.

Any specific things that you are seeing differently now, in reference to the things you have said in the previous posts?

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Theres a lot more vagina running around me. HA

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Originally Posted by Not An Addict

Theres a lot more vagina running around me. HA

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Just a personal observation, but woman can sense when you are "heartbroken" from a recent relationship breakup, and tend to swarm.
:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by imitator

Just a personal observation, but woman can sense when you are "heartbroken" from a recent relationship breakup, and tend to swarm.
:thumbsup:

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I was just making myself laugh. I actually came across a female who seemed to be all about that..