A few words of wisdom from Phife...

I keep seeing these threads where us chicas are all trying to put on a front with our looks... half the time I can't tell who it is exactly that we are trying to impress, or what we are trying to achieve. It all just seems like such misdirected energy that we could be using to improve ourselves in more meaningful ways.

A lot of you aren't old enough to remember Tribe's "Low End Theory", IMHO one of the best hip hop albums of all time, and one with real CONTENT.

This bit's from 'Butter':

"I remember when,
Girls were goodie two shoes, but now they turned to freaks
Allofasudden "We love you Phife" - ease of ho, my name's Malik
Phife this, Phife that, where you goin', where you at
These girls don't know me from jack, yet I feel like the Mack
You didn't want me then, so hon, don't want me now
Here, Here - take the towel, wipe off your brow
And take the Ccontact out your eye, you're far from lookin' fly
You get an E for effort, and T for nice try
Now tell me what's the reason, for dyin' your hair
Slum village gold still danglin in your ear
You barely have a neck but still sportin' a rope
Four-finger ring just so Phifer can scope
You looked in the mirror, didn't know what to do
Yesterday your eyes were brown but today they are blue
Your whole appearance is a lie and it could never be true
And if you really loved yourself then you would try and be you
If your hair and eyes were real, I wouldn't have dissed ya
But since it was bought, I had to dismiss ya
If you can't achieve it, then why not try and weave it
If you can't extend it then you might as well suspend it
If you can't braid it, best thing to do is fade it
I asked who did your hair and you tell me "Diane made it"
If you were you and just you, talk to you, maybe
But I can't stand, no bionic lady
Tryin' hard to look fly, but yo, you're lookin' dumber
If I wanted someone like you I woulda swung with Jamie Summers
You wanna be treated right, see Father MC
Or check Ralph Tresvant, for sens-a-tiv-i-ty
See I am not the one, I got more game than Parker Brothers
Phife Dog is on the mic and I'm smooth like Butter . . ."

Don't forget to keep yourself GROUNDED in reality.

I actually listened to that CD yesterday.

Either that CD or 'Beats, Rhymes, and Life' lives in my car changer at all times. It has barely seen the light of day since I brought it home from the restaurant where I made all the other cooks listen to it ad nauseum.
IMHO, however, 'Beats, Rhymes, and Life', while it has slightly less merit for the quality of any single excellent track (plenty of amazing ones though) is a superior toking album. It's so smooth that it just easily fades into the background... until you get to the sudden gunshots at the end of I think track 5... BRILLIANT on their part to bring attention back to the music.

Yep.
And you're right about women and girls being too focused on their looks. And it seems to be exponential.
The more society tells a woman that she's 'pretty', the more she feels pressure to maintain and improve her looks.

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Originally Posted by psteve

The more society tells a woman that she's 'pretty', the more she feels pressure to maintain and improve her looks.

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It's odd, I was having that discussion with a friend of mine this weekend (just before the Great Canoe Clambake, lol). I can't quite remember how it came up, but we were talking about the pressure to maintain a certain appearance, and our respective resistances to the overzealous way that so many people approach it.
Just for the record, both of us take good care of ourselves, but aren't quite so easily swayed by the whims of fashion- although we both appreciate it deeply. She goes for quirky, cheerful vintage, while I go for classic bordering on tongue-in-cheek preppy/thug. Anyway I look at each of our approaches as pretty hassle free and simple. That's the point.
I asked her, 'hey- when you were a kid, did your parents praise you more often for being smart or being pretty?'. And she said without hesitation, "Smart. Always."
My parents were the same. I definitely grew up in the low end of middle class, and ended up in hand-me-down clothes more often than not, but any money my mom had, she spent on stuff like music lessons and tutoring. And she praised me for being SMART.
Did it SUCK going through school- middle school especially- without being able to be in style like the more well off kids? Sure. But in the long run, shit, teenage girls never seem to think they fit in ANYWAY, and at least coming out of my childhood with the knowledge that the people I respected [family members] were more likely to respect my intelligence than anything else was- and is to this day- comforting and empowering.
I feel just as confident as an adult to walk out of the house in jeans and a baseball cap as to be the stunner at a party. More so actually. I thank my parents for that.

Being "pretty" is often a prison. If your value is wrapped up in how you look, then any imperfection, real or imagined, is a failure- you are nothing without the perfect illusion of beauty. A wrinkle or a pimple or cellulite or visible pores= no love for you, miss worthless. It's like being hung naked on a meat hook in front of a mirror......forever. Some people think it must be nice to be considered beautiful, but it is so subjective, that it can be taken away, approval withheld, by anyone, any second. And then the woman is chastized for vanity, when she is only looking for validation the only way she knows, because she has always gotten attention (love) for her looks. In a very real way, such women are in bondage - how they feel depends on what you think of how they look- this does not make for healthy self-esteem!
So please tell every woman you know how much you value her mind, her spirit, her values, her courage....before you tell her how she looks.

yeah i think its sad that some girls litterally paint everything on them, there hair, nails, eyebrows, lips, faces, eye color, toe nails, and then wear bras to make ur boobs look bigger, cloths that make you look skinner. and the worst part is, they are still insecure after doing all that
edit: dont get me wrong i love push up bras and nice clothing but i dont like to paint anything other than a canvas

I have never seen a woman look more beautiful than when she wakes up, no makeup, messy hair, full of what she sees as her "flaws." Women radiate internal gorgeousness to me from that state, and although they either miss it or ignore it, I am putty in their hands.

Well.. the only thing more beautiful would be if she was pregnant I guess, but what do I know?? Im just a wierdo pothead lol.

When it's obvious that a girl is trying to look how she expects guys to want her to look, it's a huge turn-off for me. I'm with Grazi on this one, to me women look the most beautiful when they haven't done themselves up. I know that most girls don't feel that way, but maybe their modesty is part of it.

My mum is a beautiful woman even in her late 40s, but whenever she's going to a special event she puts on makeup and ends up looking old and fake. It's kind of sad to me. :(

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Originally Posted by GraziLovesMary

I have never seen a woman look more beautiful than when she wakes up, no makeup, messy hair, full of what she sees as her "flaws." Women radiate internal gorgeousness to me from that state, and although they either miss it or ignore it, I am putty in their hands.

Well.. the only thing more beautiful would be if she was pregnant I guess, but what do I know?? Im just a wierdo pothead lol.

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is that why everytime my man sleeps over i wake up with either a finger or a penis inside of me? hahahaha

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Originally Posted by GraziLovesMary

I have never seen a woman look more beautiful than when she wakes up, no makeup, messy hair, full of what she sees as her "flaws." Women radiate internal gorgeousness to me from that state, and although they either miss it or ignore it, I am putty in their hands.

Well.. the only thing more beautiful would be if she was pregnant I guess, but what do I know?? Im just a wierdo pothead lol.

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im sorry for treading waters that have nothing to do with me but this fuckin guy is always saying things i agree with. lol word for word.

I agree, Billy! To me, it's the flaws and imperfections that make us unique and interesting. And frankly, it's what's on the inside that makes us more beautiful than what's on the outside anyway. At least to my way of thinking. My mom always repeated the old adage "Pretty is as pretty does." And I truly believe she was right. I frequently find myself wishing that people would focus far more on heart, character and intellect than they do on a buff, chiseled bod, breast size, cosmetic surgery, heavy makeup, or things like cars, clothes or external appearances. In the end, it's character, mind and personality that stick with a person long after physical beauty and material possessions are gone.

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Originally Posted by stinkyattic

I keep seeing these threads where us chicas are all trying to put on a front with our looks... half the time I can't tell who it is exactly that we are trying to impress, or what we are trying to achieve.

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i think van morrison said it best with : the girls walk by dressed up for each other.

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

is that why everytime my man sleeps over i wake up with either a finger or a penis inside of me? hahahaha

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Hahaha yes.. yes it is :D


And SpokenWord... its because we are among the enlightened few! Im glad you share my sentiments!