I JUST GOT SEMI-DUMPED:( opionions please asap

I met this girl a few weeks ago and weve talked on the phone yadadada a few times she has a 4 year old son shes 22 im 24 and we both said we find eacother cute and so i thought maybe we could date i brought her flowers to her work last night and she hugged me and shit then tonight i was talking to her on im and she said she aint looking for a relationship now and just wants to be friends:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(so i said i wouldnt rush her and we could start out as friends and she said ok and i agreed so i dunno know what to do ive been single for a year and over a half and shes the first girl ive asked out in a long ass time and i like this girl im stuck dammit:mad::(so shes supposed to call me tommorrow and "talk' so what should i tell her ladys????please i need help

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Originally Posted by Mike23artist

I met this girl a few weeks ago and weve talked on the phone yadadada a few times she has a 4 year old son shes 22 im 24 and we both said we find eacother cute and so i thought maybe we could date i brought her flowers to her work last night and she hugged me and shit then tonight i was talking to her on im and she said she aint looking for a relationship now and just wants to be friends:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(so i said i wouldnt rush her and we could start out as friends and she said ok and i agreed so i dunno know what to do ive been single for a year and over a half and shes the first girl ive asked out in a long ass time and i like this girl im stuck dammit:mad::(so shes supposed to call me tommorrow and "talk' so what should i tell her ladys????please i need help

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This probably belongs in the Sexuality and Relationships forum.

I think she's interested. Just go along with it, she's sounds like a very nice woman.

You have to realize that kid is important to her, and the father may be around, so she's being careful.

When I was single, dating women with kids, or ones that wanted them, never worked out for me.

Just tell her what your thinking. Be honest. COMPLETELY honest.

simple enough.... just ask her if she's wanting a relationship in the future possibly you.... or if she's not really looking for any relationship anytime soon...

can't push her, if she don't want one, you can't make her want one.... and you really don't... if you just pushed her into a relationship it'd be pure shit and hell....

give it time.... if you like this girl as much as you say you do, you'll have no problem waiting and taking it slow.... get to know each other a bit more first... start with dinners... going out as just friends... don't push relationship status or anything, just basicly go out as you'd take one of your guy friends out...

Her babys daddy is a loser who hasnt even seen the kid and she dont know where he is and i told her i like kids and i like her but i just guess i gotta do what i gotta do which is wait my first crush was a amanda in hs and it scarred me for life i just feel like shit now and i cant smoke weed cause im on probation:(go beer

Well do you have a good paying job, insurance, and are you reliable? I mean she does have a child to think about. She just cant spring into a relationship all willy nilly.

I'm no expert, but to me there's no official relationship until sex happens. Before that, she's just... some chick you know, regardless of what you would like to believe, especially since you just met her.

Detach yourself, look at this from a different angle. Don't let your desire to get laid/in a relationship ASAP make you stupid, as so often is the case. What's the hurry? Do you honestly think because you waited a year and a half, and she stumbled along (with her baggage), that makes her miss right? Hardly. Plus, she smells your desperation. It reeks.

ps - this does probably have a more appropriate forum.

________________

a clean bong is a sign of a sound mind

i work as a painter and i make 15 an hour under the table full time and im in college i have one year left till i get my graphic artist degree and im a very good artist i can draw anything but u know what there are plenty of girls out there and i can meet one sometime i dont care i just really like amanda i dont care if she has a kid i will take care of them im 24 dammit im not 16 with my camaro anymore i want something legit ya dig?

Age has nothing to do with being able to take care of a kid. There are 40 year olds who arent responsible enough for that. And if you want something legit then find another girl and date her for a few years and get married and have kids of your own.

Ok.....There seems to be some sort unwritten set of rules going on here that are getting in your way.

First.....what are going to say to her when you "talk"? I want a relationship or else? State your intentions? I don't care if you have a kid? Wow....that one ought to bowl her right over.....

Why does there have to be this or that intent for you guys to talk?

If she is playing games with you the you'll find out soon enough. That's really the only way to know......you get to know people. That's what creating relationships is all about.

Don't let your fear get the best of you. I can definitely say from personal experience that it can take over if you let it.......don't let it. ;)

good luck to you....

Ps...Rebgirl's advice was very good....be honest. It works. :)

well all is good not were gonna take it slow and see what happens

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Originally Posted by rebgirl420

Just tell her what your thinking. Be honest. COMPLETELY honest.

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people will use that info against you later and make fun of you for it, wont they? i know some pretty mean people.... my life sucks. lol

well why would you attempt to be with smeone like that in the first place?

my names amanda :wtf:

horray Amanda!



PS good luck, and whateveryone else said! My advice would be worhtless right now!

semi dumped man? you didnt even say you two were goin out, and shit man if she has a kid you want that repsonsibility if things get serious, if the father was a deadbeat youd probably have to make up for him not paying child suppor, and what if this dude got pissed that you were baning his ex chick(no reason he should but shit happens) and he kicks your ass, haha those are pretty much worse case scenarios, but good luck with the chick man, just get to be really good friends with her, but dont be a freind for too long make your move quick because once you in the friendship circle for a while youll always be in it trust me i know that feelin and situation all to well:(

ive never had my ass kicked the dad is some mexican who lives in georgia so ill just have him deported

Mike23, I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you but..... she can't comit to a relationship with a guy who doesn't use punctuation!:p

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Originally Posted by Gandalf_The_Grey

Mike23, I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you but..... she can't comit to a relationship with a guy who doesn't use punctuation!:p

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Yeah Ive been thinking the same thing.. mike it takes actual effort to understand the point you are trying to make. I dont think you use a single comma or period, and then I actually have to think and decipher what you are trying to say so that I dont misinterpret.. thats a pain in the ass. I think the ladies would be more likely to help you out if you began using punctuation. Just a guess though.

so mike what if you deport him and he is a member of the mexican mafia, theyll fuckin kill ya! there crazy and waaaaaaaaaiiiiiitttt......aint you the dude that wrote a thread abotu making otu with a midget and that you were gonna fuck her? if im not mistaken i beleive so hahahahahahahahahahahahah

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Originally Posted by chaliceburn

I'm no expert, but to me there's no official relationship until sex happens. Before that, she's just... some chick you know, regardless of what you would like to believe, especially since you just met her.

Detach yourself, look at this from a different angle. Don't let your desire to get laid/in a relationship ASAP make you stupid, as so often is the case. What's the hurry? Do you honestly think because you waited a year and a half, and she stumbled along (with her baggage), that makes her miss right? Hardly. Plus, she smells your desperation. It reeks.

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Best post here. I fully agree with chaliceburn.

Ok here is my 3 step system to recovery...

1. Watch about 3-5 hours of NFL kickers kicking the old pigskin
2. Blindfold this girl and ask her to part her legs slightly
3. (insert expression here... ie. boom, pow, bam)

that shit has hapend to me about 6 times and ive been single for a year also sucks balls i even bought one girl a rose and another was like omg we would be such a great couple then said she didnt want to rush personally i think girls dont know when they have a chance with a nice guy even tho they complain about how all guys are ass holes because thats all they go for (i dont meen to offend any girls but its what i have observed) but there are definetly some good ones out there

Stop contacting this girl. If she wants to talk, let HER call you.

When she does call, (and she will) don't be an ass but DO be apathetic.

If she flirts with you, ignore it. Sooner or later she's gonna snap and she'll practically be begging you to fuck her.

Yes, I know, It sounds like an asshole move. But it works.

She freaked out on you because you where acting all desperate and clingy. Show her you're not that guy and your in.

People have said it - it's your desperation. I used to be the same way. It's like how a dog senses anger or a snake senses fear. Chicks sense how guys act towards them. If you walk up to her in the frame of mind that you want a relationship and anything less will be a failing grade, that python will smell it on you and lunge straight for your throat. If you walk up to her in the frame of mind that you are indifferent to her (while still being nice), she'll eat outta your hand. Every girl is different but most girls are like this

maybe shes still messing around with the babys daddy. Who knows. But IMO i say just run with it. Be friends let it take it where it goes, IF she is ever ready for the relationship she will let you know. So don't push it. And what could be the worse thing that can happen.. you might just end up with a good friend.

And if she was already with you for a couple weeks then obviously she likes you, and who you are. having a child is hard work, and they demand a lot of attention especially if shes a single mother.

listen to maximum overdrive.......