Hypothetical Question

I'm 22, but never had any kind of relationship, not even been kissed. As such, I don't really know anything about anything when it comes to initiating an intimate relationship, but I feel I'm ready now that I've mostly overcome my social anxiety.



So, lets say I'm with the girl of my dreams. There's a mutual attraction between us, and it finally comes to that moment for the first kiss. How does that moment happen, what should I do to make it happen? Do I ask, do I just wait for us to both move into it, or do I just suddenly kiss her at the right moment? And once that first kiss happens, where do I go from there?

I know this sounds like really basic stuff that anybody should understand, but I have a sort of autistic way of understanding socializing and I don't have that instinct other guys seem to, that instinct that tells you how to get things rolling romantically.

A kiss goodnight is expected after a successful date. Don't put any pressure on yourself. Just relax and go for it.

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Originally Posted by Tainted Glory

A kiss goodnight is expected after a successful date. Don't put any pressure on yourself. Just relax and go for it.

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Oh, I don't think it's going to happen on a formal date, I actually have a friend of a couple years in mind.

If she's not expecting it, but it feels right to you, then I would say just go for it and kiss her and see what her reaction is. But if you're both, say, sitting close to each other, having a personal conversation and you're both looking in each other's eyes, then she'll probably lean in to kiss you if you just lean towards her too.

And after that has been initiated, then you really just need to go with the flow, try to feel what she's doing and what she wants, and also what you want.

Well definetly don't ask to kiss her. Its a mood killer. Best bet is to initiate the kiss and see how she responds. If she cowers in fear and begins to howl like a Mongolian, then odds are you're SOL. If she returns the motion, or sometimes remains still, you're golden. Just don't go in tongue-blazing, gripping the back of her head and whatnot.

If the initial kiss goes smoothly use your instincts to see what comes next. It might lead to a hookup or it might lead to nothing. Be prepared for either.

be a man and take whats yours


no im just kidding, you'll know when the moments right, thats how it was with me i just knew

When you're feeling good, step towards her, and see if she shies away. If she shies away, look at her face. Maybe, that will tell you what she wants and when.

Just go for it! I love when a guy is a bit arrgesive and doesn't mind making the first move. If she isn't into it and just sees you as a friend so what! You should still be proud you went for that first kiss. Also you should take this girl you have in mind out for a nice dinner, to not just randomly put moves on her, let her know your interested. Although a random kiss is sexy and fun

I'm good at it, or so I've been told, but it took years of trial and error for me to perfect it. Once you can do it well,with feeling, getting to third base is usually guaranteed. Start out with hand-holding, and carsses, and maybe a peck on the cheek. Women like good kissers. They also like romance. Don't discount the value of formal dates.

You could play spin the bottle, just the 2 of you!
lol no don't do that.

The advice given was really good!

I've never had the guts to kiss anyone sober, lol, so my only advice would be to be intoxicated on something, but that sucks, don't do that.

Yeah lot of girls love the romantic dinner stuff, and I mean you can never go wrong with dinner and a movie. Just dont try and rush into it. Also if she is a friend for a few years, make sure she knows your into her.

As for the kiss read her body language, read her eyes, you can tell a lot about girls from their eyes. If all goes well, you well know the time.


Good luck bro:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Gandalf_The_Grey

So, lets say I'm with the girl of my dreams. There's a mutual attraction between us, and it finally comes to that moment for the first kiss. How does that moment happen, what should I do to make it happen? Do I ask, do I just wait for us to both move into it, or do I just suddenly kiss her at the right moment? And once that first kiss happens, where do I go from there?

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shit, i wish i knew the answer. most guys say they do but they really don't.

it may come off as corny, but i think you just **know**

like if the date went REAL well... you all laughed... talked..... flirted..... laughed some more....
and you both look sad on the way to take her home, then i think you are set.
i personally would have *RESPECTFULLY* tried to sneak a kiss in between all the laughing, flirting, talking, hugging, touching....


but once it's time to say goodbye, i don't think reaching for a kiss would make her mad after a good date....

you cannot be scared though, because it will show and she might mistake it for you not caring....


just be yourself....make her laugh....make sure she has fun and you'll get your kiss.....kisses maybe:jointsmile:

This thread is ambiguous as hell. First GtG gives a what to do in a possible moment of attraction. Then after the first response he says well it isn't a formal date he has a friend in mind. Then everyone keeps going back to what to do during or after a date. I get the picture GtG wants to take it to the next level and try to lay one on a friend he has known for a while during a social situation that wasn't inititated by him asking her out. I get the idea he is trying to pop one on while just hanging out with one of his female friends, you know while they are getting high or watching tv or a movie or listening to music.

Is this correct GtG?

During a date is easy, just do it. You learn to know when the moment is right. Hell do it anyway and it is the quickest way to find out if she is into you. Look for a moment or if you don't have the guts wait for the end of the date. I hate waiting. But if the girl isn't expecting it because she doesn't know this was a "date" and GtG has never kissed a girl, I think it is better if he tries to ask her out and learns a few things about dating whether he gets a good kiss or strikes out.

GtG if you haven't had a date ever or a kiss, you might want to lower your standards and get your feet wet and do some real life training.

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Originally Posted by FakeBoobsRule

This thread is ambiguous as hell. First GtG gives a what to do in a possible moment of attraction. Then after the first response he says well it isn't a formal date he has a friend in mind. Then everyone keeps going back to what to do during or after a date. I get the picture GtG wants to take it to the next level and try to lay one on a friend he has known for a while during a social situation that wasn't inititated by him asking her out. I get the idea he is trying to pop one on while just hanging out with one of his female friends, you know while they are getting high or watching tv or a movie or listening to music.

Is this correct GtG?

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Yep, nailed it on the head.

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GtG if you haven't had a date ever or a kiss, you might want to lower your standards and get your feet wet and do some real life training.

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But I don't want some other girl, I want this one. And I'm already confident there's a long-standing mutual attraciton between us that neither of us would act on because she was dating my friend (who dumped her a couple weeks ago). I'm about 95% sure we could get together, I just want to know how to do it right so there's not a lot of awkwardness between us as nobody makes the first move. She is more experienced than me after all, so I can't help but fear making a fool of myself.

Suck on her tongue.
Gently nibble on her bottom lip.
Don't be afraid to look her in the eye (beforehand, once initiated it is best to keep your eyes closed)
Kissing on the neck and collar bone is appreciated as well.
Don't overdo it - be relaxed and calm so none of that bumping-foreheads-oh-shit-I'm-not-getting-any-tonight-where's-the-dog-and-jar-of-peanut-butter bullshit doesn't happen.

Well, lean in half way, and she (if she wants to kiss you) should the other half way...and boom.















You should watch the movie hitch by the way. Just for fun ;)

Gandalf Ive only seen those three pictures you posted of yourself in the other thread, but from what Ive seen you have a head start because of one important reason: expressive eyes. Use them to your benefit. If you arent an expert at body language, spend hours in front of the mirror imagining different things and reacting realisticly. Notice the minor changes your eyes undergo depending on what you are feeling, and memorize what it looks like and what it feels like, so that you always know you are expressin exactly what you want to with your eyes. There is only one word you must remember when you are talking about reading eyes: SUBTLETY. Purposeful positioning of the eyes is always exaggerated and obvious and rather comical.. you dont want her to know.. you want it to be more of a subliminal and subconscious realization.

Now, with all that behind you, Ive found that the best way to kiss a girl in the exact situation you are envisioning is to spend a good amount of time that night talking to her and looking directly into her eyes. Look straight down into her soul, its quite easy, and let her look into yours. She will be able to tell what you are thinking, so if all thats going through your head is "I just want to kiss her!" instead of "I wanna fuck the shit out of her!" you will be soooo good to go. Personally, I love using my eyes to do most of the conversation, and most of the time the girl ends up kissing ME... but Ive had about 10 years of experience with that, so just enjoy yourself, and when the moment feels right(it will almost always be after a couple seconds of just staring into each others eyes without saying anything), lean towards her. If the time is right she will mirror you. Its not a bad idea to allow your eyelids to get heavier and heavier the closer you get to her, as if the closer you get the more of a desire you have to kiss her. Women dont want you to be all open-eyed while you make it, its kind of creepy, so if you begin closing your eyes she will know you dont just want to whisper something in her ear lol.

Another option you have, especially in a social situation where there are drinks present, is after a drink or two where you guys are loosened up, and the conversation is rollin along wonderfully, begin allowing the conversation to get mellow and romantic. Dont force it, just.. feel it in the right direction if that makes sense. If you are feelin confident that she wants to kiss you, look in her eyes, and just plain old kiss her! Ya gotta do something with your hands when ya do.. but you got a couple choices. You can very lightly place both of your hands as if you are cradling her head as you kiss her like youve seen in the movies, you can place a hand on the back of her head or neck and the other by her waiste, you can go Jimmy Stewart on her and grab her by the shoulders.. its really your choice, whatever feels natural. When you kiss her, you are expressing your feelings for her with your lips, so try to imagine how passionate would FEEL. Nothing rough, nothing jerky, no tongue on the first kiss obviously. Think smooth, slow and sensual. You cant just peck her, and you probably dont want the first kiss to be some long thing unless thats how it turns out. If you are choosing the "just go for it" road, make it more than brief, but short enough to leave her wanting, then pull back, still keeping your hands where they are and look her in the eyes. The way she looks at you will tell you everything you need to know. Her eyes will either tell you to do it again, dont do it again, or maybe she wont even let you stop. If the latter one happens, then you will know, and just roll with it! That means its successful you dont have to stop to see if she liked it!

I realize all of this seems over-instructional, but I kind of got the feeling thats what you were looking for. Maybe not so much for all the instruction, but to confirm what you may have been thinking to solidify your confidence.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out!

Invite her over to watch a movie, perhaps blaze if she's into it. Don't get anxious, just chill. Talk to her a bit, eventually as the movie's getting going, perhaps you would've already gotten closer. If not, put your arm around her waist, see what happens from then. If all is good, play it cool, keep up the convo. Then just go for it, put your hand on her cheek and kiss her. Good luck.

If she is as good of a friend that you say she is, she will kno you dont have much experience, so she hopefully wont judge you ... and making out comes naturally, shes more experienced, she will lead, just relax and go with it

The key is experience, which is gained through trial and error. Everyone here can tell you what works for them, but they are not you, and what works for one may not work for another.

Not to imply anyone has given bad advice persay, just that you have to take whats being said and apply it to yourself and see how it would work.

Personally, I have a good deal of experience in social engineering, body language, and the like. I can read people pretty well. Even so, I myself always have a problem with taking the first leap. I know that she wants me to kiss her, I want to kiss her, but I enjoy that feeling you get just before you kiss for the first time enough that I sometimes delay longer then I should.

But seriously, all the enjoyment, the rush, and the pleasure after you have "done the deed", comes from what you do and how YOU do it. Enjoy it, and do what feels right to you. Doing what others tell you in place of what you feel is right at the time really removes some of joy, and also removes some of the experience you would gain from doing it by your feelings.

Like I said, no one here has given bad advice, but I guess my advice is not to take any advice here too literally, and use it as guidelines more then rules or specific things to follows. Let it give you an idea, and put your own spin on it from there.

And good luck my friend, heres a quote that about sums up my feelings on the entire matter

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Originally Posted by Emil Ludwig

The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.

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Originally Posted by imitator

The key is experience, which is gained through trial and error. Everyone here can tell you what works for them, but they are not you, and what works for one may not work for another.

Not to imply anyone has given bad advice persay, just that you have to take whats being said and apply it to yourself and see how it would work.

Personally, I have a good deal of experience in social engineering, body language, and the like. I can read people pretty well. Even so, I myself always have a problem with taking the first leap. I know that she wants me to kiss her, I want to kiss her, but I enjoy that feeling you get just before you kiss for the first time enough that I sometimes delay longer then I should.

But seriously, all the enjoyment, the rush, and the pleasure after you have "done the deed", comes from what you do and how YOU do it. Enjoy it, and do what feels right to you. Doing what others tell you in place of what you feel is right at the time really removes some of joy, and also removes some of the experience you would gain from doing it by your feelings.

Like I said, no one here has given bad advice, but I guess my advice is not to take any advice here too literally, and use it as guidelines more then rules or specific things to follows. Let it give you an idea, and put your own spin on it from there.

And good luck my friend, heres a quote that about sums up my feelings on the entire matter

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Gandalf, I think this is the post you should listen to the most.