What's the funniest thing you've ever seen in person?

...Not like "I saw this website where..." or "My freind showed me a video of..." I mean first hand like "oh man you should have been there" kinda things.

One thing that comes to mind for me is the day last summer I saw two guys, who had to be at least 60, in a full on fist fight right in downtown Minneapolis. They were grabbing each other and swinging punches and swearing ( "Come on you big sack of shit") just like a couple of kids, except they were a lot less agile and quick about it. At one point they were grappling and moving around bumping into everything while keeping thier grapple. It took 3 security guards to break them up! I was pretty high when I saw it and I was laughing so hard I was crying and my stomach hurt awards. I never did figure out just what it was they were fighting about but it made it funnier to imagine the dispute was over the last can of Ensure.:asskick::wtf::jawdropper::S2:

I really fuckin wish I had had a video camera that day, I would have had one of the most popular viral videos on the net.

hmmm....my lizard tried to catch a cricket the other week and wound up just knocking the cricket across the tank into the glass on the other side. the cricket left a perfect imprint of white vitamin powder where it hit the glass. that was pretty funny. can probably do better after thinking.

I'm already cracking up. I haven't even typed it.

I had smoked in a club with my friend and two girls. We convinced them to come outside to a patio the club had to talk and further get to know them and mainly get away from "Lil jon and the eastside boys" cause I can't hear what she is saying and that's never smooth. My friend had made a comment(okay fine it was a joke) about me or something mine that I had taken offence to and I'm explaining to the girl I'm talking to that my friend gets cocky when drunk and likes to impress. We're walking them towards the doors(again, I'm really stoned and a little buzzed) and as my friend walks "with" her through the "Doorway" he smacks his head against see through glass. The doorway was 2 feet away. The girl noticed and slipped from under his arm, he was drinking his drink. I guess we both get a lot of attention cause everyone seemed to be looking our way and joined me in hysterical laughter.

We both ended up speaking and "hanging out" for weeks with them so it's all good.

I'll think of more.

Well, my friends thought it was funny..more clumsy lol

I was walking down the street in winter, with two of my best friends and I was putting my hood up and for some reason was looking down/bent over while walking and I ran right into a pole, DEAD on. BONK!!!

OH... that just reminded me of one... and I'm about to call myself out on this one... Any of you guys in the army might be able to picture exactly just what it is I did.. It's a little long but it's funny as hell.

A few summers ago some friends and I took a road trip down to Fort Sill, OK for my freinds graduation from Boot Camp.My freinds and I were EXTREMELY high like the whole time of this trip, like from the moment we pulled onto the highway on the way down there and all the way on the way back. On the day before they were officially dismissed, they had a visitation day. We had just gotten into OK that morning and had been up all night driving down so we were sleep deprived and extremely high and a little drunk.:jointsmile: We were walking around the barracks and he was showing us around. There were drill sargents and officers around, a few other platoons, and lots of families, around the area In front of one the entrances about 15 feet out from the actual door was a set of unarmed cannon shells. I hadn't really been watching where I was walking and walked straight into one of them and knocked it over... It was pretty loud, and the whole place went dead silent... drill sargents, soldiers, families, and freinds just staring at me. I quickly reached down to pick it up and said "Sorry, didn't see it." I heard a few soldiers say "lucky that thing wasnt live" and according to my freind one of the sargents said he'd never in all his years seen someone knock it over. here i come along and woops. A few seconds after I picked it up things went back to normal, but it was funny as hell. We left the area and started cracking up.:jointsmile::thumbsup:

Back in my high school days I would hang with my friends at the beach.
There was a cop who would always come around the corner of the basketball court real fast, trying to catch us smoking pot.
The next time he tried to catch us we were waiting for him.
Someone dug a deep hole in his path.
We blazed a joint while we watched them dig the cop car out of the sand.

The most recent hilarious thing that I saw happen was either me and my friends trying to figure out how we are going to make a cartoon of a super hero named High as Shit Man, how my friend tried to leave the car in the middle of traffic and also tried jumping out the window, or how I was in a car and sneezed and a giant loogie got on the car next to us window.

i was driving down the street with a couple friends of mine, and we see this old dude, probably about 65-70, wearing ALL yellow. im talking head to foot yellow. and of all things he was carrying LEMONADE! we start crackin up really bad, and out of nowhere one of my buds yells at him "Fuck you pikachu!" good times:jointsmile:

i seen some crazy shit in my days
one of the most hillarious was
a long time ago,my friends and i used to sell subsrciptions to la times newspaper.every day after school this van would pull up to the block
and take us far away so we could make sales.my one friend and i were
walking thru some apartments when all of a sudden he had to take a severe
shit.he was sweating trying to hold it and he asked two different houses
if he could use the restroom and they said no.i felt kinda bad but it was funny.im glad it wasnt me in his shoes.we were on the second level of the apartments and the shit was coming out so he did the funny hold your shit in walk and made this face like he just slipped off a cliff. i remember clearly he was wearing some khaki pants and when the shit and piss came out his pants changed colors.without thinking he jumped into the swimming pool of the apartments.the shit came out of his pants and was in the pool.he took off his pants and statrted to scrub his ass with is hand.i was fuckin rolling.then some old man came out and noticed and started yelling and talking loud so i told my buddy to lets get out of here.he put on his soaking wet shit soaked pants and we ran down to melrose where the van was waiting.for about an hour we hung out till we got a ride home.on the way home there was like 7 kids stuffed in a van.th esmell kicked in right away and everyone was gagging
and talking shit.it was funny to hear the excuses my homie came up with

^^^lol friendowl.
-my brother and i were running through a foggy golf course chasing swans and he ran right into a flag pole, landed flat on his back.
-my friend kathleen and i made a fort in her house by pinning a bedsheet to the top of the curtains and tucking the ends into the couch cushions. we were chilling inside and we see the indentation from one of her cats walking across the top of the bedsheet. moments later the whole fort comes crashing down along with the curtains and a very scared kitty.
-my friend madi and i were at a neighborhood beach party where a lot of alcohol had been consumed. there was a little plastic see-saw the two rather large men in thier forties rocking back and forth at full speed. the see-saw breaks and the men fall off.

One very late summer night, at about 2:00am, me and 2 other friends were blazing up. We were just chatting and suddenly my one friend had a great idea (all the greater because it made sense in our super-high state).

So we got my one friend to drive a pickup truck, I was in the passenger steat, and my friend with the idea went into the back of the pickup (the open carrying part, whatever you call it, I'm high). We pulled into the Tim Hortons drive through (it's 24 hour) and ordered a coffee. When we pulled up to get our order, Dennis pulls the truck further up and my friend in the back leaps out in nothing but underwear and starts going "EEEE!!!! EEE!!!! EEEEEEEE!" and hands her the money. She looked So stunned and just took the money and gave him the coffee, but all the employees behind her were cracking up so hard you'd think they were ready to fall down!:D

I driving behind a friend, following them somewhere, when we stopped at a stoplight. In front of us was a van with a boat hitched to the rear. When the light turned green and the van began driving through the light, the boat unhitched, drifted to the right, and SMASHED into a tree. :clap:

well i looked at my coworkers today high then fuck on hash/opium today and my manager got beat up by the door and i think i almost shit myself in laughter

Lol i have a freind who is 6'8'' and his intials are D.V. so his nickname was always B-D-V for Big D.... Vag.... Anyways we would always be like whats up BDV!? and call him Big Dirty Vagina instead of his real name. He'd get pissed but would never do anything because he knew he'd kill us. So one day he was very very drunk and was just walking around my buddy's house like "Im BDV!! BIG DIRTY FUCKING VAGINA!!!" he said it atleast ten times. Had us all rollin.

haha friendowl and gandalf you guys had some damn funny storys. as for me i know i have funny things happen all the time but i can't think of a specific time right now. i'll try and think though.

I had a really uptight boss at the corporation I used to work for. She was totally into appearances. Always tried to put forth this image of being the perfect corporate executive. Never a hair outta place. Always the perfect man-styled ladies' suit. No one could stand her because she was like the Church Lady, only she was Uptight Corporate Lady.

One day one of my colleagues said, "Check it out!!!" as Corporate Lady was leaving from the ladies' room. After her visit to the potty, she'd somehow managed to get her suit skirt accidentally tucked into her panties and panty hose, and most of her ass and underwear were showing from the back as she walked down the hall. Even better was the fact that she had a three-foot tail of white toilet paper trailing down from the waistband of her pantyhose.

I wish I'd had a video camera of that sight. It was priceless! Wouldn't have been nearly so good if she hadn't been such an uptight faker. Sadly, her secretary must have tipped her off. She didn't remain in that embarrassing state.

LOL some good posts in this thread

Animals can be really funny. Once, in a Brooklyn zoo, a cat accidentally wandered into the yak cage. There were two yaks in residence. I never saw a yak do anything but stand around. They can weigh over 2000 lbs. One of them, when it saw the cat in it's domain, went berserk and chased the cat all over this large, fenced-in area, mostly around the fenced perimeter. Finally, after five or so minutes, the unfortunate feline found an escape through a hole in the fence, or bars, and squeezed through to safety. The yak that had done all of the chasing then charged over to the other one, and started angrily butting it's head against him (or her), as if to say, "Why the hell didn't you help?"

Another time there was a hippopotamus that took a leak for what seemed like an hour. It was coming out like a fire hydrant had been opened. A large crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle. When the beast finished, there was loud, enthusiastic clapping and cheering from the audience.