Disowned By My Dad Because of Marijuana

So I got a call from my dad last night and he said my mom told him I was smoking weed and that I wasn't to talk to him until I have quit. I tried to reason with him but it was no use. He kept saying "You were not raised like that" and "It is wrong and illegal." Here is a letter I am going to send him along with a fact sheet about marijuana. Let me know what you guys think:

Quote:

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Dear Dad,
I am sorry that you do not agree with my personal choice to use marijuana responsibly in my own home and on my own time. I donâ??t smoke before going to work, before driving, or before doing anything else important. It is simply a safe way to relax after a stressful day or in a social setting, the same way people like to drink beer or smoke cigarettes, only it is far safer than alcohol or tobacco. You chastise me for making a conscious decision under my own will to use this plant, and yet you know nothing about it. Letâ??s first look at it this way: hundreds of thousands of people are killed EVERY DAY using the LEGAL drugs alcohol and tobacco. Do you know how many people die per year using marijuana? Zero. Not one death in the history of mankind has been caused by marijuana, and this is a plant that has been used since the beginning of civilization.
You might be thinking, â??Well what about the losers that sit around and do nothing but smoke themselves silly?â?� Well, like any substance, there is always a chance of abuse, and it is up to each individual person to recognize the line between use and abuse. I, for one, have recognized this line I lead a very fulfilling life while using marijuana. My appearance is kept neat, my bills get paid, my house is clean, my girlfriend is loved, and my dog is well cared for. It in no way affects my quality of life or the way I live. It has not turned me into a â??burnoutâ?� or made me change who I am. That is the thing about marijuana; it has constantly been shown to not change the basic personality of the user, so your theory about smoking weed making me more aggressive is false. I have always been pretty aggressive when provoked, and it has certainly not been caused or increased by smoking weed.
I realize that most of the people that you know or think smoke weed are losers in [My hometown] that wander the streets at night, but these people are the minority when compared to marijuana users throughout the world. Throughout the past few years, I have met many successful people that smoke marijuana; people that are working on their masterâ??s degrees, talented musicians and artists, and people that run their own businesses all while smoking marijuana recreationally. There is no stereotype for people that smoke weed - well, at least in the rest of the world outside of [My hometown].
Yes, it is illegal, but hundreds of thousands of people are working to legalize and/or decriminalize the medical and personal use of this plant. It has already been decriminalized in 11 US states and that number is growing by the year. In fact, just across the Iowa border in Nebraska, you can possess up to an ounce of marijuana and you will get a $100 ticket and sent on your way; no trial or criminal record. The plant is also being used to slow the progress of Alzheimerâ??s, as it increases activity among dying brain cells. It is also being used as a medicine for cancer patients undergoing chemo therapy to increase appetite and get rid of the nausea associated with chemo. People throughout the nation are slowing coming to terms with the fact that this plant has a bad rap for no reason other than racism and politics in the early years of this â??great nation.â?�
You are right that I was not raised to smoke pot, but I was raised to be smart and to think for myself. Smoking marijuana is a personal choice that I have made for myself. I have never pushed it on anyone or tried to talk anyone into trying it, although I believe it could be beneficial for many, many people. I believe it should remain a personal choice. Think about this: [My sister] was not raised to be gay and it is illegal for her to get married in all but a few states, so if she wants to get married are you going to shun her too? It is the same concept â?? a personal choice that affects only the person involved.
You may think itâ??s silly that I care so much about it, but itâ??s a question of my personal rights and freedoms and the freedom to choose what I do with my own body as an adult; same as getting a piercing, getting a tattoo or eating a fatty cheeseburger. I could totally understand you not wanting me to smoke marijuana if I was some 22 year old wasteoid that was doing nothing and going nowhere, but that is not who I am. You raised me well dad, and I have chosen to partake in this as an adult, with no outside pressure from anyone. It was my own decision and I stand by it. I do not think it is wrong and I do not think it should be illegal. I would also bet that it becomes legalized or decriminalized sometime in the next 10-20 years.
I will NEVER do meth, I will NEVER do heroin or cocaine or any other drug; hell, I donâ??t even really drink anymore. But I do enjoy this amazing plant that has been unfairly judged for the past 80 years. It is not a gateway drug and I have never even thought of doing any other drugs, although I have been offered here and there. A lot of people start with smoking weed and move on to harder drugs, but those people are not me. Do not judge me as a â??druggieâ?� because I use this plant. Using this plant is not putting my life in jeopardy. It is people like you that pass judgment without knowing any factual information that are perpetuating the negative image of it.
In the end, it really blows my mind that you are willing to shun your own son because of a plant you know nothing about. I will pay you the money I owe you and get on my own insurance once I get a job, but please donâ??t shut me out of your life just because of this. You raised me very well, and I definitely know right from wrong, and using this plant is not wrong, not even a little bit, and nothing is going to change my mind about that. Please donâ??t shut me out of your life.

Love,
Me

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gd idea

if it dnt work

steal the tv remote
dats deep
im high
aka useless

The letter is very well written but maybe slightly formal at times.I don't know what type of relationship you and your dad have but your playing the wright technique.

I think that if it doesn't work you should just tell him you've stopped even if it's a lie.
If he didn't know you were smoking before he was told by your mom why does he need to know at all?

Going about this the wrong way.

If someone detests the good herb, they will always. Especially an adult. That is how they see it; they have their reasons, you have yours. It's a futile arguement and a trivial pursuit, he will not change his mind. Your best bet is to put it in the past and not bring up your weed habbit. Let it fade away. Don't bring it around them or their house, and just let it fade to black.

You're only making things messier.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Eazy

steal the tv remote
dats deep
im high
aka useless

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Ha ha! I get so mad when I can't find my remote.

Shitty about your dad though. I don't know what to say though as I have liberal parents who were hippies, so they're cool.

Good luck. :thumbsup:

i didn't read all of that, but i'd make it more explicit that marijuana is not physically addictive only psychologically addictive (just the same as anything a person enjoys...food, sex, etc.), and that marijuana is less harmful to the body and less addictive than both alcohol and tobacco.

refer to this:
Image:20drugs.gif - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It took a while for me to convince my parents that my smoking weed is not a bad thing. I sent them a few letters quite similar to that and since then they have accepted me for who i am. My father and i will occasionally get into arguments reguarding it, but he is just nervous since he was an addict he assumes his offspring are all addicts as well.

That was a well written letter with a lot of truth in there. Whether or not your Dad is willing to accept it is a different matter. If it doesn't work at least you still tried. Keep on tokin.

Lie,,,your not changing his mind...

if he is that stubborn , he's probably not a good dad.

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Originally Posted by Skink

Lie,,,your not changing his mind...

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This man speaks the truth. Sure you feel less guilty when you don't lie, but parents can be fucking evil 'n turn that shit around on you.

Kinda like that whole "tell me the truth 'n you won't get in trouble" bullshit.

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Originally Posted by GirLScouTs

if he is that stubborn , he's probably not a good dad.

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I completely disagree with you, their are tons of fathers out their that act the same, and they are still good parents. As for the note, i would say make it shorter and cut straight to the facts you have repeated yourself many times and you dont want to do that you will lose the readers interest, tone it down a little and send it on its way... If the note does not change his mind dont give up, it takes time for some people to come to their senses. All i have to say is good luck to you, and i hope things work out between you and your father. And if your father did raise you right and obviously you love him, i doubt he will just shut you out of his life. he may remain cold twords you but it will ware off as he begins to notice that acceptance is the only way.

My father is a great father, he is just very old fashioned. But he has dealt with my older sister getting pregnant out of wedlock and my little sister being gay, both of which he finally came to accept after a little while. My main goal is to inform him rather than to change his mind. I have already told him that I've never brought it into his house or anything, I leave it in my car when I go home. I just want him to not worry about it because its no big deal.

You sure about those two times you use "hundreds of thousands"..?

I think Skink has a point, I've tried to change peoples mind on this issue and they are often too set in their ways. Prepare yourself for him not to suddenly change his mind over the issue. If he still wont accept you for it then just get on with your life, its important that you do what you think is right for yourself. Let him stew it over for a while thereafter and just keep offering suggestion that will dissuade him from being hostile towards you. Don't throw the fact that you do it in his face, but be honest about it. Show him that it's not fucking you up.

Just lie man.

"Dad, I'm clean." If he tries to drug test you, throw a fit about not being trusted and now you are disowning them due to the fact that they can't trust YOU.

Hug your old man, tell him you love him and bring up an old memory. Something really REALLY old about something you never talked about. That will break his heart and rebuild it in 30 seconds and you guys will be cool again.

Parents die. The problem is that we don't appreciate them until they are dead and we look at them in a box. Both of my parents are gone and I'd give anything to be with them for two hours. ANYTHING just to held by my mom again. Anything just to be near my dad.

We had a shitty relationship. Always fighting and yelling. It was a mess and I hate thinking about it. Yet now I can understand what they were bitching and complaining about. As a parent myself, I find that I am doing exactly the same thing. Kill the light, come home whe nthe sun goes down, don't run with the scissors, don't do drugs, don't hang out with those kids, do better in school. They only wanted good for me.

I was the rebel kid. I was in jail. I was in prison. I was under house arrest. I have scars from fights. I have prison tats. I've done every drug imaginable and ever tried to manufacture new ones. I've had VD. I'm overweight. I have an illegitimate son that I do not know.

Yet my brother & sister who were "The good kids" have never been in trouble with the law, only married once, no mental or physical problems and they did very well in school. My nerdy lil bro, who I kicked the ever loving shit out of on a daily basis and who only seen one girl naked (he married her) works for JPL in Pasadena. Also known as Jet Purplosion Labs or NASA. He makes 1/2 a mil a year, has 5000 square foot 6 bedroom house. Two new Lexus one for him and one for his wife. Lil Sis? Works for Chase Manhattan bank, brings in 750K a year and lives in NYC, married w/3 kids.

Took me 40 years, but I found out I was wrong.

I was the cool kid. The rule was "When the street lights turn on, you run home!" Bro & sis would run home. Not me, I was too cool for that shit. Homework? Ha! I was the cool kid when we were growing up. Kicking other kids ass, doing cool shit, drinking beer, having sex. Back then I was the champion of our city.

Now? Safe to say my little bro & sis won. Took a while. But they definately won.

Am I saying don't do pot? No.

What I am saying is, listen to mom & dad while they're around.

*clap* *clap* *clap*

:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by GirLScouTs

if he is that stubborn , he's probably not a good dad.

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both of my parents feel the same way that dejayou30's dad feels, but that doesn't mean that they're not good parents at all.

i almost got kicked out of my parents' house when, after i had been smoking for a year, my parents caught me by making me take a completely random drug test because they thought my behavior was "suspicious". for a couple of days after getting tested and getting the results, the only communication i had with my parents was screaming and yelling. they threatened to kick me out and my mom made me read a bunch of bullshit "marijuana is bad for you" false information that she pulled off of the internet. i even wrote a letter similar to the one that you have written, and showed it to them. my mom grew up extremely sheltered, so i even kind of understand how she feels the way she does about it - she has been told nothing but bad things about marijuana her entire life. but, my dad did nothing but smoke pot from the age of 16 until he was 24 or so. and then my mom discovered that he was, and made him choose between her or pot. and he chose her :) but i was extremely angry (and still am quite upset) that my dad, after smoking for that long, was/is so adamently against my smoking.

my parents are wonderful people, just misguided about marijuana, and i love them with all of my heart. i fought and fought with them about this, but after several letters that i have written and given them, and much information i have printed off and given them, i have given up on trying to make my parents understand my choice. i hate to, but i lie to my parents about my smoking. they have no clue that i have been smoking for the past two years, because, in order to keep peace between me and my parents, and for me to continue to use cannabis responsibly, i have to lie to them about it (it also helps that i'm going to school 5 hours away from them) i hate that i have to lie to them about it, and i wish i didn't have to, but it's my choice and i'm responsible about it.

i think this is a well-written letter, and that you have gotten your point across well. good luck!!! i hope that you have better luck than i did trying to get my parents to understand my smoking :)

i said "probably" ok no need for everyone to go defend their parents.. my parents think the same but they're just uneducated.

If this dosn't work then don't put any more time into trying to change his mind. Just try to lie and if it dosn't work forget it.

The one thing i dont understand is why us stoners are always so eager to explain to other people why we smoke weed. I mean the lengths we'll go to, searching the net for "fact sheets" and other pro cannabis PROPAGANDA.

We smoke weed. FUCK YOU.

Well, it all depends on your fathers age and attitude.
My parents were EXTREMELY against the plant. I started early. They said, I wasn't ready and they were right. They also prohibited me from smoking after I turned 18(i was living just with my father)

Now, 2 years later, I asked them about it and they said they only cared because it was illegal and they honestly didn't know about it. So I gave em the rundown:thumbsup:
and now it's a don't ask, don't tell

i read people telling you to lie.. no
honesty is the best policy when it comes to parents(imo)
i mean, wether he likes it or not, you are his seed and you two will have to deal with it one day

great letter..

i thought your letter was well written
but you have to know like many people have been saying that some people are very close minded when it comes to certain subjects and your dad might be one of them

Frivolous, you lost your post up above, and I also had to take down two re-quotes of it. Remember, cannabis-only, please. You certainly expressed some potentially hostile thoughts there toward Deja's father. I was glad to take it down for that reason, too.

Great letter, Deja. I love it how you're always educating people about the truth. You're going to be one of the ones who helps change attitudes toward this plant. You conveyed good information and also did so in a loving tone. I hope to goodness he hears you.

No parent in the world is ever going to be worry-free about cannabis till the time arrives when it's not illegal. Even with all the benefits in the world (and the truth is the stuff isn't ALL good, despite what black-and-white thinkers want to believe), if our children can still get arrested for it, it scares parents. Your dad's trying to change your behavior with his own hold-out, but you stood up to him like a man. That's very admirable. Good luck with this.

its not illegal and therefore RIGHT in alaska

in cali u can get weed prescribed, for job anxiety.

there are groups who offer your 150 dollars back if they cant get you a legal prescription


therefore it is Right there too

The letter was very polite, and considering the relationship with your father it could atleast get him to talk to you. I'd take out the "please don't shut me out of your life" stuff though, just sounds like something that might piss an angry dad off, ya know?? But if I were you, and if my parents were like that, I'd just try to convince them that I've only smoked a few times or something like that, try to get the subject completely forgotton asap.

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Originally Posted by Nochowderforyou

Shitty about your dad though. I don't know what to say though as I have liberal parents who were hippies, so they're cool.

Good luck. :thumbsup:

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Yeah isn't it great?? My parents were always cool about it, expecially because my father smoked too :stoned:

thank god my parents smoke. good letter i hope it helps.

I can respect that you're being honest and straightforward about your marijuana use, and hopefully your dad will be able to recognize that and respect it too. If it doesn't work, at least you tried, and also showed him that you care about your relationship with him.

It's a tough situation. Be truthful and hold your ground, and there is a chance that your relationship with your dad will be further damaged or even destroyed (if he's really that stubborn). If you lie and say you're clean it may preserve the relationship, but you'll have to learn to live that lie whenever you're around him. The only other option besides these two would be to stop smoking weed; but that obviously comes with a cost also, and it's more of a cost than just not getting high anymore, it's giving up your rights. Ultimately, you have to weigh the costs and decide what it is you're willing to sacrifice.

Just remember that your dad is doing this because he loves you and cares about you and wants to protect you; he thinks he's guiding you away from a bad life-choice.

If you do choose to hold your ground in the long run, consider continuing to send him letters to keep him informed about your life and to remind him that just because you continue to use marijuana that doesn't mean that you don't care about him or want your relationship with him to suffer.

Good luck, I hope he comes around...

hey Spoken Word I'm from Colombia too :thumbsup:, Barranquilla, where were you born???

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Originally Posted by Eazy

gd idea

if it dnt work

steal the tv remote
dats deep
im high
aka useless

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL

my dad would freak xD




but hey I liked your letter, should work with a little time for him to think, at least better than telling him, cause he probably wouldnt listen anyways..

my dad doesn't like me smoking weed, but he knows there's nothing he can do except call the police, which he won't. I think your dad is a good dad, but needs to understand weed more open mindedly. In my opinion he is concerned cause of all the brainwashing propaganda given to people in your country. The letter is good, I hope it does open his eyes. But also try and confront him and sit down and talk to him.

Hope it helps

So Dejayou30, what's happened with your dad?

I'm interested as well...keep us updated!

:jointsmile: You heard that song, " you took the words right out of my mouth," by Meatloaf, well you said what I have always thought. I would have kept the part of your sister out of it, that is her personal, private right. However I would love to edit, copy, cut and paste parts of that with my name on it, to all the senetors and legislalators. Will someone that smokes POT please run for President. :jointsmile::jointsmile:

At least your honest, and that is one, if not thee, very most important things in your relationship with your Father. My Dad wasn't cool about it, where as my Mom was Tolerable,and got to the point of Occassionally taking a toke every now and then.:). That was a long time ago. Now I have a daughter who is an Adult, and social smoker. And her mother and I are totallly cool with it as long as the responsibility's and Priority's, Are in order. Marijuana is 1000 times better and safer than Alcohol. And many people in our Society today need to realize this.:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by birdgirl73

No parent in the world is ever going to be worry-free about cannabis till the time arrives when it's not illegal.

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and many won't be worry free even then...

Well lets not say "no parent in the world", there are plenty of hippy stoner parents out there after all. It's bad enough how so many people believe smoking weed has the equivilant health effects of taking a multi-vitmain x10 :rolleyes:

I agree totally with the letter and the responses in this thread especially those noting the global ignorance towards cannabis. if my dad was like that I'd probably write a letter in a large blood red font reading "fuck you". Sure its immature but does anything else get through to people now-a-days?

good luck, be sure to tell us what he says

I'm interested as well as to what happened. Don't leave us waiting like this! :p