Looking for others perspective on this issue I have (about a woman)

I'm just all flustered on what I should do that I just want some other opinions on the events so far. Not like I'm looking for "expert" advice just some other thoughts besides my own on the issue.

This fellow college student/work study absolute gorgeous woman. (in perfect shape, blonde, total knockout, 30 years old most gorgeous smile Iâ??ve ever seen) she just also happens to have a small geek streak in her which is why she is at this tech school. Totally out of my league type. I'm the shy, nerdy fatass guy that probably shouldn't be talking to her let alone trying to date her. I made the stupid mistake of letting myself fall for her (kinda caught me off guard). She is really cool, awesome personality, she's a tomboy but very female at the same time. I from the grapevine had heard that she had recently gotten out of a bad relationship and wasn't seeing anyone. I decided to make the futile attempt to ask her out.

After two weeks of the fates cutting me off literally everytime I thought I had a moment alone with her. I finally got the opportunity. She is a HUGE Madonna fan so I spent an entire weekend downloading EVERY Madonna song/remix for her, burnt them to CDs for her. She was insanely happy to get them (gave me a big unexpected hug). I waited a couple hours so it wouldnâ??t seem as if I was trying to buy her answer and I asked her out on a date. This is what she said word for word. â??I might actually, but I just got out of a relationship just a few weeks back and Iâ??m not even thinking about that sort of thing right now, give me some time ok?â?� That was about month and half- two months ago.

I still to this day donâ??t know how to take that answer. Was it the complete truth? Was it a polite let me down? However since then weâ??ve talked a lot..well a lot to me. Iâ??ve just recently started making more â??flirtishâ?� type comments/jokes (For instance we both drink Red Bulls almost daily on our break time, I made a â??flyerâ?� that I pinned in her office saying â??Attention all incredibly gorgeous female work studies you have earned a Red Bull please stop by and see ***** in the Bookstoreâ?� sheâ??s the only female work study currentlyâ?¦so yeah..) and she finds them funny and sweet. Made her all giggly happy yesterday, brought her a batch of firecrackers after finding out she was into our happy plant.

Problem is she cut back her work study hours here for a second summer job and now I only get to see her one day a week now. She is also not too happy with the job itself and is contemplating quitting if she does that Iâ??ll lose almost all contact with her since our classes are different. Iâ??m not sure if by now if enough timeâ??s pastâ?¦I canâ??t read women signals worth a crap so Iâ??m not sure if she is even interested(being this is me, itâ??s not likely) . I donâ??t know if I should become more â??aggressiveâ?� in trying to get her to go out or flirting, if I should keep being patient or if I should just flat out ask her again.

Man you've given her enough time I think. You should really just ask her to do something simple like see a movie. If she's athletic or likes sports, ask her to do something like rock climbing or just throw the frisbee. Women like to be asked out. If she's not interested, you can move on. Good luck.

i'm the kinda person who shouldnt even try and give advice on relationships....so dont take me too seriously.
as a girl i could use that as a way to turn someone down politely.. but then again it sounds like she likes you and enjoys spending time with you. i wouldnt try get close to someone i'm trying to "get rid off" anyways.
and... after my last relationship which was totally fd up, i really did need some time for myself and couldnt even think about dating anyone. so.. really..what i think you should do is confront her and ask her out again. i've been turned down a few times lol it was disappointing and broke my heart :P but i know now tht i'd regret more if i didnt even try. give it a shot. you wont "ache" forever. you shouldnt give up.

good luck no matter what you decide to do :)

Hon, in my opinon that is a polite "no". BUT it may in fact just mean exactly what she's saying...I mean hey, it's worth a shot, especially if she might be leaving soon anyway. You'll never know until you ask.

Partcleguy
True enough I guess, but my line of thought goes to the fact that her previous relationship was apparently a fairly long and serious one, that was somehow bad (don't know specifics) and she had only been out of the relationship around a month before I originally asked her. Which makes it only about 3 months since she just got out of it.

I mean I myself have never been in a relationship so I wouldn't know but if it was serious and it ended badly how long would it take for someone to fully get over something like that? I mean 3 months doesn't seem that long in retrospect.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Melkane

Partcleguy
I mean I myself have never been in a relationship so I wouldn't know but if it was serious and it ended badly how long would it take for someone to fully get over something like that? I mean 3 months doesn't seem that long in retrospect.

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Hey man it took me quite a few years to get totally over my last relationship.I think the cute jokes and witty sense of humor wins the woman not the girl. persistence is what you need and sincerity is the key. Good luck mate:thumbsup:

I think you should ask again. My guess is if she's as gorgeous as you say she is, she's accustomed to being asked out. And if she really weren't interested, she'd have told you straight out "No, I'm just not into dating at all right now" or "No thanks" instead of telling you she was fresh out of a relationship and needed some time. Maybe just make it clear that getting together would be a "friends" thing to sort of relieve any romantic pressure at first. Then lay on the charm. And stop putting yourself down!!

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a part of me is saying it was a polite no, but a part of me is saying you should keep trying to see where its going. just don't put everything you have into it, and if it fails ur life won't fail. haha for some reason i have done that! so just do it, you might regret it and you won't be left wondering what if.

Dude, just tell her how you feel...

^^ exactly thats the only way shit gets done

Just ask her out again...... Its a 50/50 Chance... Worst thing is she says NO.... which really isn't that bad,... Wouldn't you rather her say YES or NO than wonder?

But be confident man, If your not, nothing will happen. Women can't stand when a man has no confidence. Even if its because they are so dang beautiful. They don't see what We see...

I had that happen to me before, Beautiful girl I asked her out we went out but I was so dang nervous cuz she was like a supermodel and I was justa regular Joe (Self Image). I know it turned her off, I didn't geta second date.. I asked her 2 months later (cuz we were still friends she lived in the townhouse beside us in college) She told me honestly. You seemed like nervous and over polite. I said Its just cuz your so beautiful you make me nervous. And she said thanks your sweet but thats why we couldn't date. I said Fair answer.... I snuk a kiss on her at that point (We were at a party) And she got really surprised and pissed. I stated "was that confident enough?" She was still pissed... I was still semi drunk.....haha Ill never forget that for my whole life...

Good Luck

kd

You seem like a really sweet guy, ask again. Maybe she needed more time to get to know you better, as well as getting over her breakup....

If she says no, move on...you'll find someone great with a personality like yours.

And have some confidence, life isn't all about looks. Confidence and charm (with your honesty) are much sexier.


GOOD LUCK, and let us know what happens!!


:jointsmile: Bree

If it was a polite let down I personaly dont think she would have said to give her more time, that sounds like she genuinly needs it, but is interested in you in the future. Don't rush things though, you might end up making the whole getting over it process longer by reminding/ asking her too often. Try getting high with her some day, just the two of you in a friendly context and allow the conversation to flow, that way you might find out more about her, how she is getting on with getting over it and generally what you can do to increase your chances, you see knowladge is power and knowing what is going on with her is really going to help you out.
Kep on building the friendship and show her that your interested in her in more ways than just "*drool* she is totally stunning..." If you like her as a person show her you do, its all good.
All the best, and take care bro.
Peace Out:hippy: