Social Anxiety Disorder

"Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged and criticized by others. Many people are uneasy with shyness in others, especially in cultures which value individuality and taking charge."

This disorder has pleged my entire adolescence and early adulthood life, Being the shy guy..has really effected my soical life, obviously. Relationships, are what make life worth living... and it really kills you when you cant shake this anxiety. When I'm with my few good friends(life-long buddies), family. I'm super outgoing and social. But when you put me in an unknown group of people, or around females...I shut off. I want the relationship with the person but it becomes a forced thing...It cant just come "natural" because of my anxiety. "Why is your friend so quite?"... I see men walking around with beautiful girlfriends.. I want that..kind of relationship so badly you can taste it... but to get that you gotta speak up. The anxiety has a hold around my balls and wont let go...It just wont.. People say man, Just get over it and lighten up...as if social anxiety disorder was a light switch that one could turn on and off. If I could I would...it's not that easy.

This of course has lead to some major depression, Which has lead to alcohol to numb the pain.. alcohol-depression go hand in hand... I've been down some dark roads with that evil tonic. I'm just know getting off the souce and trying to face my problems head on.

Sorry for the post, Just had to get some stuff off my chest. Now it's time to face the world...either they accept or reject me, I can only be me...

Good day.

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Originally Posted by LazySmoking420

"Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged and criticized by others. Many people are uneasy with shyness in others, especially in cultures which value individuality and taking charge."

This disorder has pleged my entire adolescence and early adulthood life, Being the shy guy..has really effected my soical life, obviously. Relationships, are what make life worth living... and it really kills you when you cant shake this anxiety. When I'm with my few good friends(life-long buddies), family. I'm super outgoing and social. But when you put me in an unknown group of people, or around females...I shut off. I want the relationship with the person but it becomes a forced thing...It cant just come "natural" because of my anxiety. "Why is your friend so quite?"... I see men walking around with beautiful girlfriends.. I want that..kind of relationship so badly you can taste it... but to get that you gotta speak up. The anxiety has a hold around my balls and wont let go...It just wont.. People say man, Just get over it and lighten up...as if social anxiety disorder was a light switch that one could turn on and off. If I could I would...it's not that easy.

This of course has lead to some major depression, Which has lead to alcohol to numb the pain.. alcohol-depression go hand in hand... I've been down some dark roads with that evil tonic. I'm just know getting off the souce and trying to face my problems head on.

Sorry for the post, Just had to get some stuff off my chest. Now it's time to face the world...either they accept or reject me, I can only be me...

Good day.

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I am like that if I am not high enough. I am 60% hard of hearing, which makes it hard to hear people coming from behind me or from the side, obviously. Anyways my stepdad would always make a mission of catching me whacking off. when he did he'd throw me in my room and gut every last bit of anything that could be possibly entertaining, and keep me there for about 3 months at a time. I would come out only for hours of manual labor. I had no friends and I still don't have any, but with weed I can get through social situations happily.
:rasta: cannabis is truly transformative and its helping me forget that horrible thing and a whole host of others. I am only 21 still, hopefully lots of life ahead of me :p

oh, the reason for this post is that I suffer from a similiar malady, just for different reasons.

You pretty much described me in a nutshell lazysmoking420, or at least how I was. I know how it is, you feel like if you reveal anything personal about yourself, especially romantic feelings for someone, you're opening up a vulnerable wound and preparing for the person to pour salt in it.

I have (recently) about 80% gotten over my SAD, and I believe you can too. Believe me, mine was just as bad. I lived 4 years in total social reclusion with no friends, and while I could be myself around my old time friends from out of town, I was terrified of meeting new people or having a conversation. I think a large part of it is that is not having that natural social instinct, knowing how to make chit-chat. There's also the fear of saying the wrong thing, I would often say one thing then repeat it in my head a hundred times, thinking of all the different ways I could and should have said it.

The reason I did get over it, the reason you can get over it too, is the following.

1. I forced myself to go with my friends to social events, with strangers, and go through the intense discomfort and resist the urge to run out the door and go somewhere alone. Practice practice practice, it's all about conditioning the mind.

2. Keep your breathing in mind, and keep the breaths slow and deep.

3. Socialize with new people mixed with your familiar group, so all the talking doesn't fall on your shoulders.

4. This is the biggest one, the one that totally changed my social outlook and feelings. I finally decided to socialize after taking some of that special bud. You know, the bud that's just so wonderful you're in a state of ecstasy. The one where you just wanna eat Mango's Doughnuts Mandarines and Apples. Don't make it a habbit, just use this special bud as a tool once or twice. You'll finally get that perspective on socializing where you can relax.

Part of the bias in society I suppose. Someday we'll rise up and overthrow those tyrannical extroverts.

I honestly used to have the same problem..during high school..but I believe it to be nothing more than lack of conditioning of the mind..as MrDevious said...if you take yourself away from the social pressures of life for too long, or never delve too deeply into it in the first place..you'll be untrained and anxiety will spark....you can get over it though, but first you need to build self confidence..once you've established that just put yourself in as many akward situations as you can...what I did was get a job as a waiter at a restaurant..I thought there was no way I could do it but for me it only took 2 tables before I was comfortable...it happened that quickly...

so for the rambling but to recap..
1) get comfortable with yourself (through working out..whatever)
2) put yourself around people and get used to how it is

You wonder why you're comfortable around your family and no one else..it's cause you've been with your family your whole life..it's all conditioning

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Originally Posted by Polymirize

Part of the bias in society I suppose. Someday we'll rise up and overthrow those tyrannical extroverts.

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And one day the meek shall inherit the earth.

Some intelligent insights and some very simplistic, logical, advice. Its ironic because the last place anyone would look for such understanding on a topic like this would be a drugs forum, I mean I belong to a social anxiety website and so many people there get it so wrong, and I come here and eveything you need to get over social anxiety and the core mechanics behind it are right up there in the posts above.

Like already mentioned, getting over social anxiety requires repetition of neutral, realistic, rational information which creates new neural pathways in the brain. CBT for those that don't know is just a form of conditioning yourself to think differently and inturn effects behaviour and the way you feel, it dosen't change who you are however, if anything it enables you to be who you are more freely around people without limitation. What it does is lessen irrational thoughts, teaches you to react to what's actually there, and not listen to totally irrational fear.

Also, I've never taken estacy but I sure as hell want to try it :D

I've just realised I can't say that on these boards so delete the last part if you need to, my bad

If anybody dosent get a lot of social contact there going to be off. I was a loner as a kid so I pretty much stuck to myself. Now being older (21) Im still quiet but socialable. Things that sucked when I was young, when people like baby you or are afraid your a nut. It is just a matter of getting over ones self but embarassing when people do that to you.

"there will come a time when everybody who is lonely will be free to sing and dance and love"

Dude i used to have that same problem. And i really feel for you. But recentley i have been turning my life completly around and its because of one thing. The Secret! It has completly changed my life. The secret is a book about the law of attraction. And it has been made into the DVD. Ive seen the DVD and want to read the book. Its verry good. Its kinda a tough concept to swollow at first but when you stick to it you will eventually get it. You can check out their web site at Law of Attraction :: The Secret :: Official Web Site of The Secret Movie, And It will change your life if you are willing to accept it. Or you can read a book called "The Science of Getting Rich" by Wallace D. Wattles. This is the book that the secret was based off of. Try it out dude. If you stick to it i guarentee success. But you have to stick to it. And it takes time.

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Originally Posted by mrdevious

You pretty much described me in a nutshell lazysmoking420, or at least how I was. I know how it is, you feel like if you reveal anything personal about yourself, especially romantic feelings for someone, you're opening up a vulnerable wound and preparing for the person to pour salt in it.

I have (recently) about 80% gotten over my SAD, and I believe you can too. Believe me, mine was just as bad. I lived 4 years in total social reclusion with no friends, and while I could be myself around my old time friends from out of town, I was terrified of meeting new people or having a conversation. I think a large part of it is that is not having that natural social instinct, knowing how to make chit-chat. There's also the fear of saying the wrong thing, I would often say one thing then repeat it in my head a hundred times, thinking of all the different ways I could and should have said it.

The reason I did get over it, the reason you can get over it too, is the following.

1. I forced myself to go with my friends to social events, with strangers, and go through the intense discomfort and resist the urge to run out the door and go somewhere alone. Practice practice practice, it's all about conditioning the mind.

2. Keep your breathing in mind, and keep the breaths slow and deep.

3. Socialize with new people mixed with your familiar group, so all the talking doesn't fall on your shoulders.

4. This is the biggest one, the one that totally changed my social outlook and feelings. I finally decided to socialize after taking some of that special bud. You know, the bud that's just so wonderful you're in a state of ecstasy. The one where you just wanna eat Mango's Doughnuts Mandarines and Apples. Don't make it a habbit, just use this special bud as a tool once or twice. You'll finally get that perspective on socializing where you can relax.

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man i have the same problems as you and i can say i completely agree with mrdevious about the "special bud". it seriously is a great tool for people like us with bad social anciety, it will really help you open up. Many therapists in the 80s when this bud was first being harvested realized how valuable tool it was for this, but once again the government had to fuck it up. Seriously man you just need to get some of this bud and go out with your close friends and go to a nice concert, preferably a jam band cause all the people are very friendly there and everyons happy and just enjoying the music, i guarantee you youll have a great time and meet a bunch of new friends, and then youll realize how easy it really is...at least that helped for me......and i still have social anxiety but since the first time i tried it i have slowly but surely getting better at social situations and metting new people

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Originally Posted by LazySmoking420

"Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged and criticized by others. Many people are uneasy with shyness in others, especially in cultures which value individuality and taking charge."

This disorder has pleged my entire adolescence and early adulthood life, Being the shy guy..has really effected my soical life, obviously. Relationships, are what make life worth living... and it really kills you when you cant shake this anxiety. When I'm with my few good friends(life-long buddies), family. I'm super outgoing and social. But when you put me in an unknown group of people, or around females...I shut off. I want the relationship with the person but it becomes a forced thing...It cant just come "natural" because of my anxiety. "Why is your friend so quite?"... I see men walking around with beautiful girlfriends.. I want that..kind of relationship so badly you can taste it... but to get that you gotta speak up. The anxiety has a hold around my balls and wont let go...It just wont.. People say man, Just get over it and lighten up...as if social anxiety disorder was a light switch that one could turn on and off. If I could I would...it's not that easy.

This of course has lead to some major depression, Which has lead to alcohol to numb the pain.. alcohol-depression go hand in hand... I've been down some dark roads with that evil tonic. I'm just know getting off the souce and trying to face my problems head on.

Sorry for the post, Just had to get some stuff off my chest. Now it's time to face the world...either they accept or reject me, I can only be me...

Good day.

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I would rather be hated for who I,AM.then loved for who I,am not

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Originally Posted by jdmarcus59

I would rather be hated for who I,AM.then loved for who I,am not

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Couldn't have said it better myself.

Oh and If you do extasy to become more socailable and open, keep in mind your pupils will be diolated, you'll be acting like a fairy, and people will know your on something. -from experience.

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Originally Posted by Trip06

Oh and If you do extasy to become more socailable and open, keep in mind your pupils will be diolated, you'll be acting like a fairy, and people will know your on something. -from experience.

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SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!:mad:


(rules man)

what is a good strain to smoke for anxiety?

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Originally Posted by LazySmoking420

"Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged and criticized by others. Many people are uneasy with shyness in others, especially in cultures which value individuality and taking charge."

This disorder has pleged my entire adolescence and early adulthood life, Being the shy guy..has really effected my soical life, obviously. Relationships, are what make life worth living... and it really kills you when you cant shake this anxiety. When I'm with my few good friends(life-long buddies), family. I'm super outgoing and social. But when you put me in an unknown group of people, or around females...I shut off. I want the relationship with the person but it becomes a forced thing...It cant just come "natural" because of my anxiety. "Why is your friend so quite?"... I see men walking around with beautiful girlfriends.. I want that..kind of relationship so badly you can taste it... but to get that you gotta speak up. The anxiety has a hold around my balls and wont let go...It just wont.. People say man, Just get over it and lighten up...as if social anxiety disorder was a light switch that one could turn on and off. If I could I would...it's not that easy.

This of course has lead to some major depression, Which has lead to alcohol to numb the pain.. alcohol-depression go hand in hand... I've been down some dark roads with that evil tonic. I'm just know getting off the souce and trying to face my problems head on.

Sorry for the post, Just had to get some stuff off my chest. Now it's time to face the world...either they accept or reject me, I can only be me...

Good day.

---

Dear user,

I understand where you are coming from. I hold the same anxiety. Social anxiety disorder. Many people do not understand why we with this avoid eye contact, lower ourselves, change character to assimilate, become that which we deep inside are not. We consider ourselves to be misunderstood, mis-interpreted characters who "creep" out others around us. The truth is, these are false ideas that we hold in our mind. I remember smoking marijuana and believing that the gift of insight was given to me, when in actual fact, they trully were in depth fantasies of what was not reality. No character goes so far as to dissect exactly what we sociophobes can. Disect and analyse to the point of exhaustion, yet, they are not true. The are internal ideations conjoured up by the paranoia that eats away at us. Grants us nothing but the loss of sleep, the desire to become reclusive, and the denial of the people that love us, and want nothing more than for us to be happy with ourselves. I wish all the best to those suffering with this. That they may seek the help they deserve, and finally be at piece with themselves. Please, if you have this disorder, do not smoke marijuana. It will only worsen the disorder. Peace and love,
George

It is not easy to get along with animals. People are ruthless, you have every reason to fear, but you have every opportunity to step through it.

Don't believe you're obligated to fully-interact with society. It doesn't have to be a necessity if others believe so.

i found the best way to deal with social anxiety disorder is to force yourself to into the "awkward" experiences and they will gradually get easier. i know because I had a huge problem with public speaking, and after about 3 years i have gotten over it. its not easy, and i have experienced relapses but it can be cured without prescripiton drugs or therapy

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Originally Posted by mrdevious

There's also the fear of saying the wrong thing, I would often say one thing then repeat it in my head a hundred times, thinking of all the different ways I could and should have said it.

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I do that too, and that scene in "Harold and Kumar" at the beginning with the guy thinking about talking to that girl in the elevator....oh my god that was probably the funniest scene from any movie for me because that's how I am every day lol

I find this thread interesting because I have noticed that lately I have become more and more closed off to relationships. I've always been a quiet person, but lately I've been feeling more and more disconnected with my friends and family, and I know it isn't healthy. Shit, if it weren't for the internet I don't know what I would do in my free time lol

I obviously can't speak as a success story, but I do think the best treatment is to force yourself into going out and spending time with friends or family, and if you don't have any friends, push yourself to talk to others despite how awkward it might feel.

What I keep thinking about is the end result, I don't want to become that quiet 50 year old that lives by himself and his only life is when he leaves for work....basically that is me now only I'm still young so I just don't want to be close to death and at this same point! Just the thought of that is enough to push me to go for those awkward moments. It's weird because I want to say "don't worry about what others think about you", but I know that is of no help at all because I really don't care what anybody thinks about me, but I still have this problem. Perhaps it is a more sub-conscious issue that therapy could help, well, I'm sure of it, but I'm more afraid of calling a shrink than calling an old friend so I doubt I will ever seek professional help.

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"Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged and criticized by others. Many people are uneasy with shyness in others, especially in cultures which value individuality and taking charge."

This disorder has pleged my entire adolescence and early adulthood life, Being the shy guy..has really effected my soical life, obviously. Relationships, are what make life worth living... and it really kills you when you cant shake this anxiety. When I'm with my few good friends(life-long buddies), family. I'm super outgoing and social. But when you put me in an unknown group of people, or around females...I shut off. I want the relationship with the person but it becomes a forced thing...It cant just come "natural" because of my anxiety. "Why is your friend so quite?"... I see men walking around with beautiful girlfriends.. I want that..kind of relationship so badly you can taste it... but to get that you gotta speak up. The anxiety has a hold around my balls and wont let go...It just wont.. People say man, Just get over it and lighten up...as if social anxiety disorder was a light switch that one could turn on and off. If I could I would...it's not that easy.

This of course has lead to some major depression, Which has lead to alcohol to numb the pain.. alcohol-depression go hand in hand... I've been down some dark roads with that evil tonic. I'm just know getting off the souce and trying to face my problems head on.

Sorry for the post, Just had to get some stuff off my chest. Now it's time to face the world...either they accept or reject me, I can only be me...

Good day.

---

Thank you for your bravery, standing up for social anxious people everywhere, including me. I have had problems being addicted to drugs and MAJOR depression. I just was about to kill myself tonight, but marijuana saved my life. I am so socially anxious that I can't even share my thoughts with my own family. I would try to hold a normal conversation with even my brother. Part of this problem lies, in my "people pleaser" mentality. Instead of connecting the idea of what they are saying to experiences I've had in my past and responding in a way that has helped me personally solve the problem, I would just nod, or give a laugh that would try to disguise the fact that I felt SOO anxious and awkward that I couldn't work up the confidence to sustain the pressure put upon me by other individuals eye gazes. Marijuana helped me sustain this pressure from their eyes and their attentions being put on me to respond with something funny, interesting, or "real", for lack of a better word. With this ability to withstand the gaze of their eyes I was able to have meaningful conversations with my friends and my family and this hot Asian girl!!!! Well anyway, I was so depressed, I was just about to take a crapload of xanax, (which I obtained by lying to a psychiatrist to get the drug and to sell it for money) take a couple shots (which with xanax synthesize with because of the synergistic effect on the gaba recepter), and say goodbye.

MY GOD THANK YOU WEED.

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what is a good strain to smoke for anxiety?

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I know a strain, the one I am smoking now. I however did not catch the name when I bought it from my friend. So, I will ask him!!! tomorrow I will edit this part of the post with the strain name.

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4. This is the biggest one, the one that totally changed my social outlook and feelings. I finally decided to socialize after taking some of that special bud. You know, the bud that's just so wonderful you're in a state of ecstasy. The one where you just wanna eat Mango's Doughnuts Mandarines and Apples. Don't make it a habbit, just use this special bud as a tool once or twice. You'll finally get that perspective on socializing where you can relax.

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Hey mrdevious, I agree with everything that you posted up until the last number (#4). I wouldn't recommend taking Mcdonalds Dentists to Make Aquaintances. Why? because in my personal experience, it has had some even more depressing side effects than are necessary. For example, marijuana is a good substitute. It cures my social anxiety (see above) and it doesn't make me too depressed after I come down (not that I wouldn't be depressed without the weed). Taking Mcdonalds Dentists to Make Aquaintances just does not seem like the best alternative when marijuana is available. Some people may say that one is more comfortable and socially inclined when taking Mcdonalds Dentists to Make Aquaintances, but from personal experience the learned social communication patterned while taking Mcdonalds Dentists to Make Aquaintances are less memorable than those of marijuana.

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Dude i used to have that same problem. And i really feel for you. But recentley i have been turning my life completly around and its because of one thing. The Secret! It has completly changed my life. The secret is a book about the law of attraction. And it has been made into the DVD. Ive seen the DVD and want to read the book. Its verry good. Its kinda a tough concept to swollow at first but when you stick to it you will eventually get it. You can check out their web site at Law of Attraction :: The Secret :: Official Web Site of The Secret Movie, And It will change your life if you are willing to accept it. Or you can read a book called "The Science of Getting Rich" by Wallace D. Wattles. This is the book that the secret was based off of. Try it out dude. If you stick to it i guarentee success. But you have to stick to it. And it takes time.

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Thanks for the tip about the movie / book that will give me the secret to the laws of attraction. I read the wikipedia to learn a little bit about the laws of attraction and I am going to buy the dvd from amazon. From what I have read however, I have found out that the laws of attraction are believing so hard that you can get something, focusing in on that thing, imagining that you have the thing (whatever it may be), and that thing will come to you with time. This is all true in my experience as well. When I want something bad enough (which weed helps me with) then things around me seem to work for me. I no longer have to handle ALL the pressure of thinking and worrying about how to obtain the object that I want so bad. All my life I have been lying, I have been a pathological lie-r (how the FUCK do you spell that word) because I was just trying to please the people around me to fool them into thinking that I was the person that following their sentences and keeping up with the "thought train" (or the momentum of logic traveling between the participants of the social interaction). I was just trying to slough off the fact that I had no idea, NO IDEA, how to share myself with other people. I am going to order the DVD and watch it, possibly many many times, and hopefully it will expand on the information I read in the wikipedia page. Quick question to anyone who is familiar with the laws of attraction... how do multi-taskers work if one must be concentrated on what one wants to recieve. In other words how do multitaskers (if the laws of attraction are valid) get two things at once, when they can only want one reallly bad?

LASTLY (sorry for the long post), I would like to give a big thanks to all of you guys for saving my life. You were here at just the right time, along with weed. But yea, I hope to hear back from you all!

I guess you can't edit you post more than one time because I couldn't click edit on my last post. But that's besides the point, what I'm trying to say is I also am looking to slowly ween off of marijuana as a solution for my social anxiety. Marijuana creates memory loss and slow thinking in math related issues for me. I would like to be as clear minded as I am when I am high, when I'm not. I will follow many of your suggestions to force myself into social situations that I feel awkward in, but I don't know if I will be able to bear them when I finally get off the weed entirely. If anyone has any more suggestions, then pleaaaaase, let me know!!! Thanks!

Dude, I am having the same issue and it sucks, I know.

Close relationships are hard to form and they take time, if you (or me) can't open up to people then it is a lot more difficult to spend time with them and build those bonds.

My issues are mainly because I moved a lot as a kid (probably every year or two), so I never got around to forming those childhood bonds with people.

Next time you are enxious, just keep telling yourself that everyone is just people, just like everyone else.... just be nice to people.

The issue I have is that I find myself having nothing to say to people... so it's kind of hard to maintain conversation, also in new situations its hard to judge what appropriate conversation topics can be...

Thanks for the reply uncleweed,

I agree with you. It is very soothing to know that the other people out there are feeling some of the same feelings that I am (although its hard to realize this sometimes even when I repeat that in my head) I think I will try the slow breathing technique mentioned by mrdevious

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2. Keep your breathing in mind, and keep the breaths slow and deep.

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combined with the constant injection of my vulnerable little self into awkward settings.

I have experienced similar feelings that I have nothing to say in a conversation. It was hard to explain to people that I had nothing to say because I had nothing to say about me saying nothing :) but weed helped me with this one.

I believe that you do have something to say in conversations uncleweed. Everyone has associations with what other people say. Of course you may not always have an association with everything everyone says, but you can associate to most things I find, however obscure the association. This association is what keeps conversations going for me. What worked for me here is again weed. Specifically the element of the THC to slow down my thoughts just enough to where I could vocalize what I needed to say to bounce the conversation ball back in their court. (BTW don't be scared of this conversation ball) for so long I was afraid when the ball would land in my court. I am still EXTREMELY fearful of this ball when I am sober. WEEED. 'nough said.

Additionally, uncleweed, I believe this connects with your inability to say appropriate things at the right time. I have had this problem myself. From my experience, I have found that I say inappropriate things when my mind wonders. My mind will first stay on the conversation topic (although my attention, when I'm sober is not devoted fully to the conversation), then it will tend to wonder off. When my mind wonders off, it tends to go to "inappropriate" topics such as sex. Because I fear speaking up at the "appropriate" time, I will speak at a more inappropriate time. This more inappropriate time will be when my mind was on an inapropriate subject. Again I will recommend just slowing your mind down. If you want an appropriate topic, start with hello. Then follow the flow of the conversation, and direct your attention carefully to the "thought-train" (or the momentum of logic traveling between the participants of the social interaction. sometimes listening is more important than talking for me.

Let me know what y'all think

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Originally Posted by expirator

Thank you for your bravery, standing up for social anxious people everywhere, including me. I just was about to kill myself tonight, but marijuana saved my life.

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I'm really glad you stuck with it man. I've definitely been there, so close to just ending it all due to this awful disorder. Being able to socialize with others seems such a necessary part of life, and when you struggle so much with something that seems to come so naturally to others, yet seems out of your control, I know that I wonder what the point of sticking around is. Social anxiety makes you feel self-conscious 24-7 and causes you to underestimate yourself in everything you do. I'm sure this is not news to any of you. But for anyone else that's feeling like they want to give up, please know that social anxiety does not have to be a permanent problem! I definitely am not fully over my social anxiety at all, but I have so much hope now looking back at all of the process I've made just through talking to a therapist over the past year. It's definitely improved my conversation skills and helped me to see my negative thoughts from a different perspective. I still think so irrationally but at least I recognize when I do. One thing I don't feel like I have in common with a lot of others is that I feel like smoking bud intensifies my social anxiety. I still love smoking by myself, but anytime I'm around others, even my boyfriend who is one of the few people I feel completely comfortable around, I find myself feeling far more anxious. Maybe this is because I started smoking weed at a young age and as I've gotten older and my social anxiety has worsened, smoking weed and drinking alcohol, I find cause me to feel far more awkward and unable to think of things to say in social situations. Anyways, I want to thank all of you. It feels so good to know that when I feel so isolated, I don't need to, knowing I'm not alone in this. To all of you dealing with social anxiety and depression, keep on truckin'...we'll get through this. Much love.:hippy:
Also...I may start on some sort of anxiety and antidepressant medication this week. It's taken me almost 2 years to come to this decision, only because when I become depressed due to my anxiety amongst other things, I find it nearly impossible to pull myself out of it without help. I become a completely different person and I cannot stand that person. That person is uptight and irrational, and it's not me at all. I'm hoping that with the help of a very low dose of some sort of antidepressant, I will be able to control my irrational thoughts and turn them into thoughts that are a little more rational. I also hope that I will not turn into this anti-social, depressed, and uptight person for days at a time. I feel like I'm closer along the path to discovering who I really am...I hope the meds help, and I hope I can enjoy smoking again when I'm finished with this experience.

Hi, first of all i want to apologize for bringing back such a old thread, but i couldent help relate to most of the experiences posted. Its terrible, eg. i was a late arrival to a house party a few nights ago, after initial hellos came the awkward silence and it feels as though everyones looking at you to say something. I just wanted to ask if you think weed actually worsens this condition, and if so would you say its long-term?. I try not to smoke in social situations anyway.

Bump

Well Chainsaw1234, this is a very deep subject! I have had a problem with socialization my entire life. Not that I do not make friends. I have the same problem as stated prior, moved every year and back 'in the old daz' it was difficult to keep in touch. Not to mention, my parents moved us with no notice, at all. In 1st grade I came home, was placed in a pick-up with my dad and off to another state-didn't even go in the house. Represented 10 different schools in the 9th grade.

I was placed in a class in a different state for the remainder of 1st grade. The teacher was 'horrible', Mrs. Aiken, will never forget her. She would make me get in front of the class and speak. I choked and cried, she would hit me with a stick, I only sobbed more. If that wasn't enough, she put me in a 'special' reading class and made me be the one that was in charge of it. Since, I already read all the books, etc. that class was doing. I was not appreciative and it made matters worse. From that day on, I will never forget--I hate speaking in public!!!

If that wasn't enough. They stuck me in "gifted" class (here in the U.S.A. that is for individuals that seem to be higher achievers. Now, with all the moving and in a group of students as much as 3 years older than myself or such "geeks" they couldn't relate, anyway. And I had to work hard to keep up academically! A year or so in any grade through High School, made a difference. I know no-one from my childhood. Except people that still live in the same home they grew up with and were my neighbors.

Well, I finally 'went to college.' Now, I did some 'speaking' in front of the class in English class in High School. Even had the same teacher in college. She made us gives speeches in front of the class. I hated it, but had to.

I took speech in my first year of college-required! The instructor was very good with me and seemed excited with my speeches. The positive re-inforcement helped me a great deal! I was the only person that pulled a complete A in that class! It helped me, but did not 'fix' me.

Skipping to later life. . . I had one position for work that required I teach others in a hospital. I did not like it, but it was a nice job. I mostly used others to do a 'special engagement' speech. Then I took a job teaching at the college level. I LOVED IT. But, I made myself do it. No drugs of any sort involved.

It is fun when teaching those that really want to learn. I found that being prepared and practice helped me. And sitting with and visiting with the students afterward. They were eager and I was sharing something they wanted to hear!

This past week, I took a cruise on a ship! I went with my brother-in-law, I call GI Joe! He has never met a stranger. While waiting to start the process of arrival to check in, he met a few people and introduced us. We made instant friends and the three of us hung out most of the trip, doing tours in ports, etc. Even though I did not take any mmj with me. I felt 'at ease' while there.

The problem is, maintaining new friendships and nourishing them. One thing I learned from my High School (college) instructor. Pretend the people you are talking to are sitting on a toilet. Everyone goes there and are 'exposed' so to speak.

The other thing, I have just figured out: Not everyone is mean't to be friends with everyone and some people will flat out hate you for no reason at all. That is O.K. That is what makes our society grow, different input.

This cruise I just took was 2500 people on one ship. There was entertainment, eating, excursions, etc. I went with the people I met when I arrived and had a wonderful time. I was at ease and just had fun. Knowing, I never have to see any of these people again, made it even easier.

You need positive re-inforcement and that is hard to receive. Sure, mmj helps, but we can't do it 100% of the time. And need to train ourselves to push into situations that lend toward talking.

Plus, a therapist can help, as well. Learn how to communicate. I have read a lot of books in this area. Arm yourself with the latest news and keep abreast of the world. Have something you want to tell or talk about. You need not control the conversation, but seem interesting. Or have an interesting topic!

I hate parties, but once into it, I have a great time. I try to work the room and meet everyone and choose someone that seems interesting. If they aren't, move around. Unless you have no clothes on, I can assure you, not everyone is looking at you, well that is, unless you are the best looking person in the room, as our society is superficial in most instances. There are many sincere caring people.

Keep going to events, etc. and meet people. Don't be afraid to be yourself. That is, unless you don't like yourself. In that case, get some self-help books and PRACTICE! You'll be surprised, if you are kind, attentive and engaged, people will find you interesting. You will find common ground, even if it is the Sunday comic strip in the paper or some movie that is popular.
Know yourself and be open to find out more about yourself.

If you need some mmj to let loose and have fun, do it. If that is what it takes to be social.

There certainly is a disorder when you sit at a football field and when they go into a huddle you think they are talking about you. REst assuredly, no one person is that important and they are talking football!

It always isn't about you. It may be more about the other people, they may have the same problem. Many are shy and have difficulty. You have weed and with practice, you'll overcome it.

I still dislike public speaking, but I will not avoid it. Get involved with a local MAPP/ Norml/ ASA group. You have more common ground there. Practice. You will find, 'socializing' is easier with people you have more in common with!

Sure this is an old thread, but always relevant and thanks for bringing it up! Hope you get the discussion you deserve. This is a virtual world and a start. Just keep on posting. Good luck to you!

Keep telling yourself, you are not alone. Many of us, are right there with you, in the same boat! pr

thanks painretreat! interesting points there.

however I dont understand why some people think cannabis makes social anxiety worse and others think it helps?

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Originally Posted by Chainsaw1234

however I dont understand why some people think cannabis makes social anxiety worse and others think it helps?

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Because, chemically, we are a different as our fingerprints.

Also, there are different strain characteristics which can be further modified by staggering harvest dates.
And there are different kinds of social anxiety.
Transient moods and physical health are big factors.
That includes hunger, dehydration, bladder tension, other drug influences, the actual situation, etc.

Bottom line?
Way too many variables for a simple answer, yah?

Aloha,
Weezard

Cs1234, please keep this posting updated. The Holidays are here and it is party time. Let us know what you are doing to get out of your mental shell. Take baby steps and don't sit at home alone! Will wait for your next activity. If you were near here, I'd take you out with me. I can have a great time at a party these days! Take care of yourself! pr

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Originally Posted by Headin2KONA

I honestly used to have the same problem..during high school..but I believe it to be nothing more than lack of conditioning of the mind..as MrDevious said...if you take yourself away from the social pressures of life for too long, or never delve too deeply into it in the first place..you'll be untrained and anxiety will spark....you can get over it though, but first you need to build self confidence..once you've established that just put yourself in as many akward situations as you can...what I did was get a job as a waiter at a restaurant..I thought there was no way I could do it but for me it only took 2 tables before I was comfortable...it happened that quickly...

so for the rambling but to recap..
1) get comfortable with yourself (through working out..whatever)
2) put yourself around people and get used to how it is

You wonder why you're comfortable around your family and no one else..it's cause you've been with your family your whole life..it's all conditioning

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words of wisdom here. self confidence will help s.a.d alot

Hey bro',

I feel for you. I have the same thing. Mine is more a result of poor hearing and distinguishing what people are saying, and background noise, which makes it difficult for me in a social situation.

Bear in mind a couple of things: 1) You obviously are a good listener-people like to be listened to. You might be surprised to find that the type of people you might truly want to connect with and develop a relationship, may be turned off with someone who is a "court holder", so to speak. You will ultimately find common ground with someone whom you make feel comfortable and safe. This is a huge thing with women. You might also find that the court holder with all the beautiful women may not be with women who would be right for you. Many of them may also find that out eventually.

One of the best things I have found is to be cheerful and try to keep a smile on your face, especially when you say hello to someone, especially when you don't have a lot to say.

Believe it or not, you are not being scrutinized nearly as much as you think.

When you do speak, speak of positive things, informative things, and most likely just shorter statements initially to where you get a comfort level. Try to avoid anything combative or down and out stuff. Avoid talking about race, religion, drugs, politics, or things that could get heated. Try to focus on things that you have expertise in or an extraordinary amount of knowledge. You will then finds the words flow much easier.

You will eventually find yourself in the right environment and you most likely will shine. Don't get too down because you are not there just yet. You are not alone.

BT
Colorado

I am in a non MMJ state and Dr recommended for me to keep using canna to treat anxiety and panic disorder because it is safer then anything he can prescribe and he has seen better results with it. Had it bad for 10 years (mostly trapped in my home)
but with smoke I haven't had an attack in more then 2 years

When I get butt fucking high at first I feel all giddy and just good. All of the business in the back of,my mind gets taken care of 20seconds. Then my friends get back into

LazySmoking420 most people have this and is normal !! Not everyone is going to feel Social .Many cannot be Social unless they drink or smoke pot .Yet the doctors ,government and media is going saying that is wrong you are using a drug to deel with it.But you go to doctor and next you be pill popping from drug the drug companies want you to take.

It strange mess the world is in the correlation of the drug companies and the doctors /media .

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Originally Posted by expirator

Thank you for your bravery, standing up for social anxious people everywhere, including me. I have had problems being addicted to drugs and MAJOR depression. I just was about to kill myself tonight, but marijuana saved my life. I am so socially anxious that I can't even share my thoughts with my own family. I would try to hold a normal conversation with even my brother. Part of this problem lies, in my "people pleaser" mentality. Instead of connecting the idea of what they are saying to experiences I've had in my past and responding in a way that has helped me personally solve the problem, I would just nod, or give a laugh that would try to disguise the fact that I felt SOO anxious and awkward that I couldn't work up the confidence to sustain the pressure put upon me by other individuals eye gazes. Marijuana helped me sustain this pressure from their eyes and their attentions being put on me to respond with something funny, interesting, or "real", for lack of a better word. With this ability to withstand the gaze of their eyes I was able to have meaningful conversations with my friends and my family and this hot Asian girl!!!! Well anyway, I was so depressed, I was just about to take a crapload of xanax, (which I obtained by lying to a psychiatrist to get the drug and to sell it for money) take a couple shots (which with xanax synthesize with because of the synergistic effect on the gaba recepter), and say goodbye.

MY GOD THANK YOU WEED.



I know a strain, the one I am smoking now. I however did not catch the name when I bought it from my friend. So, I will ask him!!! tomorrow I will edit this part of the post with the strain name.



Hey mrdevious, I agree with everything that you posted up until the last number (#4). I wouldn't recommend taking Mcdonalds Dentists to Make Aquaintances. Why? because in my personal experience, it has had some even more depressing side effects than are necessary. For example, marijuana is a good substitute. It cures my social anxiety (see above) and it doesn't make me too depressed after I come down (not that I wouldn't be depressed without the weed). Taking Mcdonalds Dentists to Make Aquaintances just does not seem like the best alternative when marijuana is available. Some people may say that one is more comfortable and socially inclined when taking Mcdonalds Dentists to Make Aquaintances, but from personal experience the learned social communication patterned while taking Mcdonalds Dentists to Make Aquaintances are less memorable than those of marijuana.



Thanks for the tip about the movie / book that will give me the secret to the laws of attraction. I read the wikipedia to learn a little bit about the laws of attraction and I am going to buy the dvd from amazon. From what I have read however, I have found out that the laws of attraction are believing so hard that you can get something, focusing in on that thing, imagining that you have the thing (whatever it may be), and that thing will come to you with time. This is all true in my experience as well. When I want something bad enough (which weed helps me with) then things around me seem to work for me. I no longer have to handle ALL the pressure of thinking and worrying about how to obtain the object that I want so bad. All my life I have been lying, I have been a pathological lie-r (how the FUCK do you spell that word) because I was just trying to please the people around me to fool them into thinking that I was the person that following their sentences and keeping up with the "thought train" (or the momentum of logic traveling between the participants of the social interaction). I was just trying to slough off the fact that I had no idea, NO IDEA, how to share myself with other people. I am going to order the DVD and watch it, possibly many many times, and hopefully it will expand on the information I read in the wikipedia page. Quick question to anyone who is familiar with the laws of attraction... how do multi-taskers work if one must be concentrated on what one wants to recieve. In other words how do multitaskers (if the laws of attraction are valid) get two things at once, when they can only want one reallly bad?

LASTLY (sorry for the long post), I would like to give a big thanks to all of you guys for saving my life. You were here at just the right time, along with weed. But yea, I hope to hear back from you all!

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@expirator: How you described your social phobia and how weed helped/cured it sounded EXACTLY what i've been dealing with and you are the first person who has described your situation in a way that i can totally relate to. It made me really excited reading your post that maybe marijuana may be helpful for me. I've smoked random times in the past and have had mixed reactions, but sometimes ill notice that my social phobia is greatly helped when i smoke & i'm thinking the paranoia/anxiety from smoking could have been caused by bad strains. So, i've been on the psychiatric bandwagon and I'm sick of these meds not helping me and my life passing me by. I'm 22 and have suffered from severe social phobia since i was 14. It has stripped all that is good in my life away from me. I am interested in hearing more about your situation and how you are doing 2 years later (since your post on Cannabis.com) and if you are still using weed to cope with this dreadful dreadful disease called social phobia. I am writing to you because i am interested in possibly using weed to help with my social phobia, but I am kinda skeptical about the possible long term side effects and even the short term side effects. I also only want to smoke strains that are good for helping with social phobia. I live in new jersey, so i'm not sure how easy it is for me to get medicinal weed or how to find the strands that are perfect for social phobia. Best, Ariell

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Originally Posted by war209

LazySmoking420 most people have this and is normal !! Not everyone is going to feel Social .Many cannot be Social unless they drink or smoke pot .Yet the doctors ,government and media is going saying that is wrong you are using a drug to deel with it.But you go to doctor and next you be pill popping from drug the drug companies want you to take.

It strange mess the world is in the correlation of the drug companies and the doctors /media .

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It is a mess, this world we live in! Never would I have expected to have found such relief from a simple plant that grows so easily. I have had a difficult time in life, as many of you have described, my anxiety came to a head about three years ago when I started to experience the symptoms of ulcerative colitis. So all of the sudden I was experiencing constant digestive issues on top of my anxiety issues. Up until this point I had found such solace by meditating, challenging myself, and most of all outdoor recreation. Most of my "coping" mechanisms for this world failed once I developed the digestive issue, now thanks to smoking small amounts of weed, I am able to "recreate" on some level, even if just sitting around my home. Sure I wish I didn't have this digestive issue so I could go back to living the way I once did, but that is not the case. I have now lost complete control of my bowels and need to make the most of my life....... so I smoke.

If you are dealing with social anxiety, but you have your health intact focus on that health!!! I have discovered late in life the power of gratitude! When I was stuck with just anxiety, before the onset of my digestive issues, I had no concept of how wonderful I had it.... I failed to be grateful for what i did have, physical health!!!!!! I have no physical health, I have lots of anxiety....... hhhhhmmmmm, gratitude for weed.