I need help. =(

I'm in an icky situation, and I don't know what do do anymore.

I was best friends with this girl. Her older brother is 20. I hung out with him once or twice before my winter break since we were matching and I was the hook up and all that. She warned me repeatedly not to get involved with him. I told her I would never do that. Plus I'm five years younger, what the hell would he want with me?

So the Thursday before winter break started, she told me that he was going to come pick up money to get us liquor. So he called me and told me he was on his way and he asked if I wanted a few beers so I said sure.
We hung out [me and we'll just call him Ted] with my other friend. We smoked and watched Loose Change and the whole time he flirted with me. But, me being young and stupid, didn't catch on. So when it came time for my other friend to leave, he said "Well, I better go too then." and I said "No, why don't you stay, I'm gonna be up for a while anyway." So he did and I ended up having sex with him.

The whole winter break was a big secret from his sister. We would meet up at her house at seperate times, and no matter how much we slipped about him, she never knew. Even when we both would go back to the house hungover, nothing. She never fucking knew.

Then one night we decided to go for a little drive in my mom's 2005 schweet ass Durango. He was driving on a revoked, has been arrested 18 times and was under the influence of 3 substances, as was I.

"Ted" fell asleep at the wheel and ended up fucking the car up pretty bad. At the end of the adventure, when we got arrested at 6 in the morning, the car was missing two tires, had a cracked passsenger window, missing a side mirror, and the sensors for the brakes were shot.

He was in jail for 3 months and I talked to him quite often. So often that it rang up $200 on my phone bill.

When he got out, he was here every night, despite my mom's orders not to have any contact with him. Then he was put on house arrest so I started going over there when his sister went to bed. We still have sex.

But...here's the thing...he says that a part of him really does love me and all this bullshit about how he cares about me. How if I ever got pregnant he's take care of it and all that.

But some nights I don't get a call from him, sometimes when I go over there I leave right after we fuck because he has swap in the morning and I get pissed off and tell him that I'm not going to put up with it. Then he brings up valid legal-related issues and I go home, still kinda pissed. It all fucks with my head way too much. One minute he wants me and the next he's afraid of me.

I don't know why I keep going back. He's a felon, never able to get his license again, he's been in jail twice, I'm pretty much jailbait, but he's the only male in my life that shows me any affection. And that's all I want.

Am I just treating him as a temporary solution to what I really want? What the fuck do I do?

:(

dump him... not only is that wrong to ur friend but u shouldn't put yourself through that shit.. ya herd me nikka?

You will get advice here... I don't know where to begin,,,you are way to young to be with this guy... he is using you and you need to forget him... you are like I said before to pretty to be in this kind of shit,,,only 15??? god stay away from this user!!!

Don't really know what to say other than think about all this objectively and follow your heart...

Imo he sounds like a temp, but hey, what do I know? Find someone you don't have to keep a secret at least..

Best of luck and chin up! :jointsmile:

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Originally Posted by zeebo phillips

I don't know why I keep going back. He's a felon, never able to get his license again, he's been in jail twice, I'm pretty much jailbait, but he's the only male in my life that shows me any affection. :(

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I don't know you, but you can do better than that. A lot better. It should be obvious what you should do.

Is this a "I know what I should do, but want to hear other people say it too" thing?

No, not really. More of I need someone else's advice other than my own [which isn't doing me good]. You forget, nobody knows this is happening, not even the people closest to me.

Sorry for asking for a little fucking help. Don't respond if you don't give a shit.

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Originally Posted by zeebo phillips

No, not really. More of I need someone else's advice other than my own [which isn't doing me good]. You forget, nobody knows this is happening, not even the people closest to me.

Sorry for asking for a little fucking help. Don't respond if you don't give a shit.

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who are u goin off on? everyone that has posted in here has tried to give u good advice...

The previous one...and I didn't mean to go off like that.

Just a little frustrated.

I apologize.

its cool. smoke one:jointsmile: what u think ur gonna do about him?

Hopefully get him out of my life...if I can. He only lives two blocks away, you know. And he gets off house arrest on June 18th. Anything could happen after that.

How about you come smoke with me? You seem like someone I could talk to. :)

lol im 15 to:)

Oh how convienient!

I turn 16 on June 11th. :dance:

thats gayyyy. i dont get a car until forever

I don't get a car until I get my license...and I don't get my license till I've had my permit for 3 months...and I don't get my permit till I'm in drivers ed.

Don't worry, we'll be getting cars around the same time. =]

Sounds like you are geting mixed up with a bad person i'd take your friends advice. She only loves you and is looking out for you.

lol ill bet u still drive before u get ur lisense:cool:

well im off to bed. night

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Originally Posted by snicklefritz1825

Sounds like you are geting mixed up with a bad person i'd take your friends advice. She only loves you and is looking out for you.

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Haha, well, after the incident...she poured chocolate milk on my head at school and then continued to tell people that I drugged him, amongst other rumors...

But I've hung out with her a couple of times since then and we're on OK terms. The bitch is crazy, though. Not gonna lie.
Myself and "Ted's" ex-girlfriend [who was also her best friend at one point] both agreed that if she weren't related to her brother, she would be dating him.
She's literally in love with him. It's so fucked up.

I think you need to find someone with a future

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Originally Posted by zeebo phillips

I'm in an icky situation, and I don't know what do do anymore.

But some nights I don't get a call from him, sometimes when I go over there I leave right after we fuck

I don't know why I keep going back. He's a felon, never able to get his license again, he's been in jail twice, I'm pretty much jailbait, but he's the only male in my life that shows me any affection. And that's all I want.

:(

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your answer to your problem is in those lines you want a guy who loves you, hes a loser felon whatever and he just wants a girl he can fuck and tell her to leave whenever he feels like it.

that and the age difference is so fucked up a 20 year old dude shouldn't be diddling a 15 year old girl its against the law and i think it counts as sexual abuse in court.

i read what the other users have said and i think they are right you could do alot better, find a guy thats your age and dosent just want to fuck you find someone that would be glad to be in a relationship with you not hide it from people.

and remember the quote you cant start getting respect until you start respecting yourself which basically means guys are gonna treat you like crap unless you stand up for yourself and show them that your not gonna take it. you end up with a scum bag dump him and get a new guy rinse and repeat till you find a good one.

I think the bottom line here is self respect... lose the negative view of yourself... I kinda read this in you from your posts,,,reach for a rainbow and lose the deathwish guy you think you deserve...

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Originally Posted by Skink

I think the bottom line here is self respect... lose the negative view of yourself... I kinda read this in you from your posts,,,reach for a rainbow and lose the deathwish guy you think you deserve...

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Skink you know exactly what you are talking about.

None of us would find ourselves amongst people who dis-respect us if we only took the time to love and respect ourselves, before seeking someone else in our lives. When you get to know yourself, and accept and value and love all parts of yourself unconditionally, then you can see the people around you for who they really are. The people with that same love and respect for themselves will be attracted to you, and you them. Of course, the same people who have low self esteem will also be attracted, but with rationality and intuition you can tell who is the right person for you.

Peace and Love.

I would tell him to keep his shit together if he wants to stay with you, the 15 and 20 thing is no biggie tho, my parents are atleast 5 years apart. But if he keeps getting fucked with the law then get rid of him, no one can take care of you from inside of a jail cell, if anything make him join the military, its like jail but atleast you get a gov. check if your married.

Personally, I believe this relationship has very little chance for a future. There are much better guys out there for you who will show you affection.

Thank you for all the help, guys. I really appreciate it. :)

I found out today that I didn't talk to him for the past few days because on Friday he was arrested for punching his father while intoxicated. His brother had to tackle him down to the ground when the cops came. 6 months, possibly less. But he's not allowed back in his house...and who do you think he's going to come running to? :thumbsup:

I think I got this though. Hopefully.

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Originally Posted by zeebo phillips

Thank you for all the help, guys. I really appreciate it. :)

I found out today that I didn't talk to him for the past few days because on Friday he was arrested for punching his father while intoxicated. His brother had to tackle him down to the ground when the cops came. 6 months, possibly less. But he's not allowed back in his house...and who do you think he's going to come running to? :thumbsup:

I think I got this though. Hopefully.

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Your gardian angel intervened... on your 410th post too,,,that has ALWAYS been my lucky number...

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Originally Posted by not_the_kitty

I would tell him to keep his shit together if he wants to stay with you, the 15 and 20 thing is no biggie tho, my parents are atleast 5 years apart. But if he keeps getting fucked with the law then get rid of him, no one can take care of you from inside of a jail cell, if anything make him join the military, its like jail but atleast you get a gov. check if your married.

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It depends when your parents met. And if we're going to go to families about this stuff...my friend's grandparents are FIRST COUSINS. They are...were (before his grandpa died) happily married, had great healthy kids, etc. Does that make it right? Besides, the age difference isn't the same when someone is 15 and 20, then when it's 20 and 25. It's all about proportions and relativity. That's like having a 10 year old get with a 15 year old, you get me? It's less serious the older you get, but at age 15, to be with someone who's 20 (and the guy is 20), chances are you're gonna get used. It's at a critical age in life where guys are at their horniest, they are still in college (or in the age and mindset at least) and just want to party and get laid. Possibly settle down, but that's rare.

My advice is that there will definitely be someone worth your time that won't use you. Hell, I'm 17 years old and I'm still a virgin. I don't think I'm really ugly at all, I'm just not only patient, but have self-respect as well. There are guys that will jump on any opportunity to get laid...to me it's not about getting laid..it's WHO you're getting laid by. is it really worth it to do it with someone you'll regret? If he's a major fellon like that and has been to jail twice and all that, what kind of future do you think he has? What kind of husband do you think he'll be? What kind of father? If he gets you pregnant, how would you deal with it?

It's just not worth it. From your descriptions, sometimes he has sex and makes you leave? Wtf is that he's not showing you the affection you think he is and you're in a dangerous position. Don't let him take over you, he's giving you pleasure, not love. You need to find someone who will love you, even if it means no sex (at least for a while or w/e). You seem smart enough to be able to manage that!

If you need anything, just message me on myspace, you know how it is :)

Till then just keep on tokin' it'll never let you down.

I got a call from "Cook County Corrections Facility" yesterday...couldn't answer the phone because the battery was dead.

I'm expecting a call later...ugh.

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Originally Posted by zeebo phillips

I got a call from "Cook County Corrections Facility" yesterday...couldn't answer the phone because the battery was dead.

I'm expecting a call later...ugh.

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Well???

I'm not even reading the responses until I tell you to cut the shit out.

I was involved with a 21 year old when I was 15 (two years ago) and not only did I fuck myself over in the end, I fucked him over too. He was arrested and a lot of shit went down because he was fucking me. It lead to me dropping out of school and being an emotional HORROR. Ask Skink, he remembers. I really thought I loved him, and maybe I did. But the relationship wasn't right...it wasn't healthy. Luckily I got out of that rut but it took nearly a year. Get out while you still can, please, for both of your sakes. From his sloppiness in life (NO OFFENCE..but he keeps gettin' caught.) he's going to get caught with you eventually and you better hope to god you don't piss someone off and they go running to the police. He can get statutory rape, child abuse, molestation, and child endangerment charges amongst other things. He will always be a registered sex offender and it will follow him EVERY WHERE. When he moves, his neighbors will be notified, job interviews, everything. I'm not trying to scare you but it really happens hon. It happened to me. If you aren't going to leave him because it's wrong, leave him because you care.

You need to ask yourself the questions I never wanted to ask myself;
Why would a 20 year old want to be with a 15 year old?
Do you want to keep hiding this from everyone?
What's going to happen when they find out, to you and to him?

Imagine yourself with a guy who doesn't make you feel like the dirty little secret, who doesn't screw you than kick you out, who doesn't take advantage of you. You are still a little girl and he's a grown man. I hate to put it that way, but it's the truth hon. People like that are not good news.

I know you won't listen but I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I've been there. Get out while you still have your grasp on life.

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Originally Posted by zeebo phillips

... and I ended up having sex with him.

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LOL that was so unexpected as I was reading it, I say leave him hes just playin you and there are plenty of affectionate guys..well I think there is just cause I am one..cant be the only one.

Well I was around for the deal with BFA and it did turn into shit... there really is no other outcome but shit... Take here advice and run with it...

I was 35 and I had a 16 year old girl stalk me,,,when she got her license she would be everywhere I turned... This girl was cute and a body many girls would die for... Even tho she was legal,,,I still did not take advantage,,,why??? Because I knew she did not know what she was doing... I bet to myself that she had a father that left and I reminded her of him... I do regret not talking to her and setting her straight,,,but I wanted NO part of it...

Men that seek young girls are afriad of woman their age,,,they feel in control,,,and not threatened by someone inexperienced... Sorry Zeebs,,,but you are basically this guys fool... You say "What would he want with a 15 year old" like he being 20 is a prize,,,wrong thought pattern there :error::error::error:

Just add this to BFA's post,,,I tried to cut to the bone here,,,sorry but you need to wake up...

Okay, I'm gonna be honest with you.

What are you thinking getting all fucked up and stealing your parents car?

I think you really need to think about the path you are choosing for yourself. Fuck this dude, he will only fuck you over. There are a million women out there who will tell you that we have been in similar situations, and been extremely fucked over.

Take it from me. I was with a 19 year old when I was 15 and we were together for 2 and a half years. He was a fucking loser and I knew it right from the start, yet I felt that I just really wanted to be loved. I know exactly how it feels, and it sucks, a lot. Having a relationship you have to hide from everyone feels REALLY shitty, it makes YOU feel shitty. Not only that, what the hell is a 20 year old doing with a 15 year old anyway? You want to know what my boyfriend did? He cheated on me, A LOT, and I went into denial and just made myself believe it was hunky dory.

Don't go down that path. Go hang out with really good friends and good people and find love that way. Don't go for someone who will drain you of your money and your emotions and whatever else they can.

You ultimatly have the power, and I know it's fucking hard. But you know whats right. Don't go for a felon that has been arrested over 18 times, what the hell dude???? Do you think thats going to get better? He sounds like a sociopath to me, and thats exactly what my ex was, a sociopath/bi polar crazy fuck up, who did a lot of drugs.

I'm not trying to be harsh, I just don't want another girl to end up how I did. It sucked! I ruined relationships with friends and family to be with someone who really didn't give a shit about me, he just wanted me for his emotional crutch. He manipulated me, he used me.

...and you know what? Hes 25 now with an 18 year old girl..and let me tell you..I don't think hes doing much better.

Good luck, I really hope you can get past this. I know it's hard, but be strong , and you will be okay. Just live life moment by moment and appreciate the now and realize you will be alive at the end of the day no matter what.

Sorry if I rambled, I'm hella baked. :hippy:

Listen to all the good advice zeebo- this creepy dude sounds like the ultimate loser- anyone who associates with him is choosing the gutter. It is so sad how lovely girls with low-self esteem are desperate for someone, anyone to touch them. I was one of those girls, and it pains me to remember how I threw myself away like you are doing. It is truly pathetic to lower oneself. You are so much better than this. You deserve a real man, not that disaster.

Just because a man thinks you are attractive- it doesn't mean he cares. Many men will think you are cute and will be happy to use your body, like a nice slick thing to rub against. But they don't love you, and if you are willing to be used, you will miss the chance to meet someone decent, who will cherish you.

Don't let low self-esteem cause you to throw yourself away. You have a choice to stay away from this low-life. Better things are out there for you. Good luck honey!

just dont get attatched to him. in the long run you will get fucked over.

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Originally Posted by napolitana869

I think you need to find someone with a future

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most definitely. you don't want to end up with someone who has no future and has no way of providing income into the house to help provide for the family do you? You don't want to rely on a say job bringing $30,000 a year in to have to feed your family, buy food, clothing, pay for car, insurance, etc. and take care of 2/3 kids. You're 15 years old, you honestly don't have it as bad as you think you do. Could the reason you think he's giving you what you want be because you're insecure with yourself and feel ashamed of how you look or feel? Trust me looks are not nearly as important as you think they are, it's how you present yourself. From the sounds of it you just think you aren't good enough for anyone else and you are happy with him because he gives you the "attention" you are wanting, or atleast think that's what he's doing. It sounds more like he's using you for sex and nothing more. Don't take it the wrong way as I have never met him but it just seems weird that someone with that kind of a record/history would fall in love with someone whom he knows could land him in jail again. Hope this made some sense.

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Originally Posted by Jim Morrison

your answer to your problem is in those lines you want a guy who loves you, hes a loser felon whatever and he just wants a girl he can fuck and tell her to leave whenever he feels like it.

that and the age difference is so fucked up a 20 year old dude shouldn't be diddling a 15 year old girl its against the law and i think it counts as sexual abuse in court.

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It's actually statutory rape.

and endangering a minor, amongst other things.