To any dads out there, or if you're expecting or planning on having kids, etc

I was thinking about this today, If I had a daughter I really wouldn't want her to be around boys at all. Because I see the way it is with my friends and I now and it seems like she would be at a huge risk to be taken advantage of. However, If I had a son I wouldn't really care at all I would just try to make sure that he's safe and wraps it up. I just think that boys know how to take care of themselves better at this age. That's hypocritacle but that's how I feel.
Im 16 btw.

Well, first off, you've got some years before you should worry about all that. I hope. :)

I have both a son and a daughter. My son just turned 5. My daughter is 3. I have definitely given this topic some thought over the past few years. I think what you said about boys being able to take care of themselves better isn't all that accurate. It really depends on each individual. Not only that, but how they're raised, if they're taught RESPONSIBILITY, SELF RESPECT, so on and so forth. Shit, I've met some STUPID ass guys in my lifetime. It's a miracle that some of them even survived birth. I've met some really dumb females as well. Maybe in the 'physical' sense, a guy might be able to take care of himself with less effort. BUT, I've known quite a few females that didn't need strength to get by. They tend to use their heads a bit more, IMO. They can be extremely sneaky. Like cats. Anyhow, I AM very protective over BOTH of my children. I feel that they will both need some guidance...one just as much as the other. Boys and girls should be taught certain things, and informed about things beforehand. Then, the chances that they're going to encounter such situations can be slimmed down a bit. Remember the old Saturday morning commercials in between cartoons? (USA at least) "Knowledge is Power" or "Knowing is half the battle." lol. I know, corny... but it just seemed appropriate. Okay, it's fucking 8am and I don't know if this makes much sense to you. I should be asleep right now. :pimp:

I think at that age girls tend to think with their hearts and boys think with their dicks. Neither is at the point where they're thinking with their heads 100% of the time. I dont mean to offend anyone on here. I was that way a few years ago. This is also just a generalization and there are always exceptions.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by napolitana869

I think at that age girls tend to think with their hearts and boys think with their dicks. Neither is at the point where they're thinking with their heads 100% of the time. I dont mean to offend anyone on here. I was that way a few years ago. This is also just a generalization and there are always exceptions.

---

I find this correct, but I always had a pretty easy time talking chicks into bed around 16. Females are extremely gullible at that age, and guys are just dumb.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by napolitana869

I think at that age girls tend to think with their hearts and boys think with their dicks. Neither is at the point where they're thinking with their heads 100% of the time. I dont mean to offend anyone on here. I was that way a few years ago. This is also just a generalization and there are always exceptions.

---

Very very true, I'm 20 right now so I have just been through that fairly recently... Don't think you coulda hit the nail on the head any better... Unfortunately for some this can last until late 20's for guys... sometimes their whole life:wtf:

Well as for as sexually the point I was trying to get across is that guys know what they're in for when they try to get girls to have sex with them. But girls have these romantic ideas in their heads that just aren't true.

and ya onsecond i do have a few years i was just thinkin about it

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pipe Dreams

I find this correct, but I always had a pretty easy time talking chicks into bed around 16. Females are extremely gullible at that age, and guys are just dumb.

---

Yeah, that was my experience too. I was a total horn dog back in high school and succeeded in luring quite a few young ladies into my bed (or car, or under the bleachers, or onto the golf course ;) , or....)

So now that I've got a 3yo little girl I'm terrified that when she's older she'll meet someone just like Daddy :eek: My plan is to just be honest with her and not make sex into some kind of forbidden fruit. You know, something that's all the more desireable because it's forbidden. I want her to have a healthy attitude about sex and not get filled with all those "romantic ideas" in her head. Of course, I'd rather she not have sex at all, but if she is I want her head in the right place. Not get taken advantage of some shithead who say's he "love's her", screws her, then leaves. If someones going to get taken advantage of let it be the guy.

This thread makes me glad I have a son instead of a daughter because I do think teenaged girls tend to be ruled by their hearts more easily. They're just such romantics. My son is a horn dog like his father. And it strikes fear into my heart to hear some of the things he say to ladies that I know are designed simply to get them flat on their backs. I live in fear that he'll get one pregnant, frankly, even if he's about to be 21 and the girls are a little older and wise than they were in high school. He certainly never ceases to try. . . .

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by birdgirl73

This thread makes me glad I have a son instead of a daughter because I do think teenaged girls tend to be ruled by their hearts more easily. They're just such romantics. My son is a horn dog like his father. And it strikes fear into my heart to hear some of the things he say to ladies that I know are designed simply to get them flat on their backs. I live in fear that he'll get one pregnant, frankly, even if he's about to be 21 and the girls are a little older and wise than they were in high school. He certainly never ceases to try. . . .

---

Wouldn't you just love it though, if he called you up crying and said "she said she loved me but after I had sex with her she left" Sure he's your son, but as a woman wouldn't you just find some poetic justice there?

No doubt, Fengzi, I'd love it if that happened! It'd serve him so right, too. I'm certain he's done that to girls. It would be wonderfully poetic justice.

This year to keep them from hanging their "commitment" hopes on him, he has begun pre-empting the long-term relationship aspirations by simply telling the ladies up front he's not ready for that and that they need to be aware of that going in. So if they hang in there past that, the theory goes, they know what they're in for. I think this has still caused some hurt feelings when things end, but he seems to like the approach nonetheless. I wish he'd just give it a rest and keep it in his pants, frankly.

The other thing is, Fenzgi when I tell girls this (obviously not the ones I'm trying to get with but the ones who are my friends) they just don't want to hear it. "He's different" or "It's not like that this time" but IT ALWAYS IS. So if she can't even except that from her peers, what would make her want to hear it from dad?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 420marijuana420

The other thing is, Fenzgi when I tell girls this (obviously not the ones I'm trying to get with but the ones who are my friends) they just don't want to hear it. "He's different" or "It's not like that this time" but IT ALWAYS IS. So if she can't even except that from her peers, what would make her want to hear it from dad?

---

Good point, and one that I've thought of too. But that's not really the approach I plan on taking. I'm not as concerned about her not having sex as I am concerned that, if she does, her head is in the right place.

I think the big mistake a lot of parents make is that they tell their daughters that sex is some incredible special thing that should be shared only with someone you truly love, that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with. The girls get this notion that sex is some holy treasure and then when the guy dumps her she's crushed.

I went to a Catholic High School for my freshman and sophmore years and found that those girls were far easier to get into bed than the other girls I knew. Why? My guess was that is was because the church put sex up on this high pedestal that was fobidden. That just made it all the more tempting. Like some shiny treasure that just beckoned to be grabbed.

So, I want my daughter to know that sex isn't forbidden, it isn't some holy treasure. Not make such a big deal of it. But I will stress the dangers; std's and pregnancy, as well as dangers to her reputation. Hopefully this will lead her to make wise choices.

Ya Catholic school girls definetely aren't any harder to get:) . But to be fair they really aren't in the dark when it comes to sex, they know just as mch as regular kids. They just choose to ignore what they were taught.

Before my daughter could go on a date with the young man he'd have to have a lil' visit with me.:D I'd take him out to the kitchen, break out a hotdog from the fridge with a butcher knife and explain to him my concerns of my babys well being while doing some dicing........

I'm SURE we'd get along just fine!:thumbsup:

Have a good one!:thumbsup:

My dad had a way of talking to guys and shaking their hands and looking them dead in the eye that I realize now was meant to intimidate. Just slightly. My dad is a fairly civilized type, not prone to violence or threats. But he wanted the boys to know who was boss, and as a college professor, he had this uncanny ability to look people in the eye and practically see into their souls and identify honorable vs. dishonorable intentions. Maybe it was from all the years of lies about homework and college term papers.

These days in the Dallas area, there's a T-Mobile cell phone ad on TV that features a dad talking to his daughter's date, who's come to pick her up, and pointing out that because his picture is next to her boyfriend's on her cell phone, it's as if constantly watching the boyfriend. He says this very threateningly and seriously. My husband said, "That guy on that ad reminds me a lot of your dad, and not in a good way, either."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by birdgirl73

My dad had a way of talking to guys and shaking their hands and looking them dead in the eye that I realize now was meant to intimidate. Just slightly. My dad is a fairly civilized type, not prone to violence or threats. But he wanted the boys to know who was boss, and as a college professor, he had this uncanny ability to look people in the eye and practically see into their souls and identify honorable vs. dishonorable intentions. Maybe it was from all the years of lies about homework and college term papers.

These days in the Dallas area, there's a T-Mobile cell phone ad on TV that features a dad talking to his daughter's date, who's come to pick her up, and pointing out that because his picture is next to her boyfriend's on her cell phone, it's as if constantly watching the boyfriend. He says this very threateningly and seriously. My husband said, "That guy on that ad reminds me a lot of your dad, and not in a good way, either."

---

:S2:......................... that's funny

That was a very good story. Thank you for sharing!


:jointsmile: Bree

I think about that sit alot but personally I plan on informing my children so they can properly handle life and its problems. As a man who matured quickly I know that when I was 16 I really tried my best to think with one head not the other and I'd hope my child would think with such celerity.

I find this whole thread almost "cute" in it's niativity. I have 2 boys 13 and 12, and a daughter who is 9. I have had the birds and bees talk with all of them more then once so I know of what I speak and here is my view...
Take a look around at all the women in your life...they have all gone through the heart wrenching "romantic" years and come out the other side as normal, well adjusted women. It seems to me that this is a right of passage just like fighting for boys. I am not worried about heartbreak for my daughter. She is strong and will survive. In fact, I worry more about my boys not surviving a bad fight (Yes, they are dumb as bricks, even the high honor one!).
I also wonder, and some of you women may be of help here, but I suspect many women look back at this period of thier lives with longing foe those days when she was "alive", just as many men look back at thier "exciting" days.

- Slow -

John had to ask my dads permission to date me haha

My girl's dad had to ask me to date her. Kinda like a bone around an ugly kids neck to get the dog to play with them.
LOLOLOLOL
I crack me up!

- Slow -

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 420marijuana420

I was thinking about this today, If I had a daughter I really wouldn't want her to be around boys at all. Because I see the way it is with my friends and I now and it seems like she would be at a huge risk to be taken advantage of. However, If I had a son I wouldn't really care at all I would just try to make sure that he's safe and wraps it up. I just think that boys know how to take care of themselves better at this age. That's hypocritacle but that's how I feel.
Im 16 btw.

---

i'm the same way. i have a older sister and i'm so overprotective because at our age guys just wanna get laid

Raise them the best you can, let them know you're the #1 person they can talk to about drugs, alcohol, sex, anything bad they've done, etc., let them know you're no threat, but demand respect, spoil them rotten, (if you don't ever give them shit to make them happy, they won't be.) when they do bad things, let them know why you believe it's bad, but never bitch, always let them have a say in the matter, they're just like you. Never call them stupid, or say you're going to hurt them in any way, they'll reflect that same feeling right back. MAKE them do their homework if you have to, again, never bitch and yell, tell them why you feel that way, let them say what ever they feel.

Personally, I believe the whole part of parenting is having a good relationship. How are you going to protect them if they won't talk to you or listen to you?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AtomicBlaze42o

Raise them the best you can, let them know you're the #1 person they can talk to about drugs, alcohol, sex, anything bad they've done, etc., let them know you're no threat, but demand respect, spoil them rotten, (if you don't ever give them shit to make them happy, they won't be.) when they do bad things, let them know why you believe it's bad, but never bitch, always let them have a say in the matter, they're just like you. Never call them stupid, or say you're going to hurt them in any way, they'll reflect that same feeling right back. MAKE them do their homework if you have to, again, never bitch and yell, tell them why you feel that way, let them say what ever they feel.

Personally, I believe the whole part of parenting is having a good relationship. How are you going to protect them if they won't talk to you or listen to you?

---

exactly
you cant live their life for them or your life through them. Best you can do is teach them the best you can about how things happen and that its not all rosebuds.

You CANNOT stifle your children!

They will either rebel or become spineless.

Keep them from dying or doing hard drugs; other than that, let them live.