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Whenever I ask a guy (assuming he's straight) what he wants to do before death, his usual answer (mine too) is "a chick:thumbsup: " or "two chicks at once:thumbsup: :thumbsup: ". Meaning, sexually functioning men do not feel fullfillment in life w/out sex. I was wondering if it was the same with women. Do women hold sex at a value equal or at least comparable to that of men? Or is it possible for a woman to be happy w/out ever having sex?
This sounds less like men actually, and more like pre-pubesent males. Or at the very least, virgins.
Don't get me wrong. Sex is fantastic. I highly recommend it. But fulfillment?
Someday I want to take that special girl, buy a small patch of land in the chilean andes. Build a small rustic house with my own hands. Till the soil for my own 2 acre grow patch. Such a dream would be highly fulfilling.
Sex I've had. But I still feel there are things do be done before I die.
I gotta agree with Polymirize. (Yet again.) Those sound like the goals of teenagers and/or virgins. Don't get me wrong, either. Sex is great. And it's a component of the fulfillment I feel in life. I wouldn't be nearly as happy, relaxed, or well-connected with my spouse without it. But it's not the be-all/end-all of life. And as a rule, it's not quite as important to women as it is to men. I have to admit, though, it's fairly important to me.
My life-fulfillment goals have a lot more to do with doing somethng good with the talents and abilities I've been given, ideally something that helps others who haven't been as lucky as most of us Americans are. Specifically right now, that goal involves finishing med school, practicing for a few years, then retiring early with my husband and working for Médicins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders).
I have to admit, Polymirize, that I just announced to my husband as I was reading this thread to him that if anything ever happens to him, I may change my goals to moving to the Chilean Andes with you. He said "You go for it, babe. Polymirize is a nice guy. Tell him I recommended he build that house with lots of extra mud-and-llama-dung insulation since you're so cold-natured."
The goal to have sex before I die was at the top of my list of my ambitions as a pubescent male. Now it's to accomplish what I see as other weightier things. I confess, though, that I do hope to continue having sex till the Grim Reaper claims me.
When that day comes, Polymirize, you and Bird have my blessing. She's pretty and she's a great cook. She is a little feisty, though, and the fact that she's so verbal makes winning arguments darn near impossible. You strike me as a man who's up to that challenge. She'll probably need supplementary oxygen in Andean elevations, which may be a drawback, but she speaks good Spanish, which'll be an advantage. Take good care of her.
yeah prepubescent or virgin.. sex is good, but if you've never had it, and physiologically you need it..
my life would not feel complete if I were to never have sex or have a good relationship 'being' with a good woman, but if for instance, I did something really great that would outweigh my desire for sex or time with a great woman... or something like that.
I was thinking about this and my first thought was if I couldnt have sex anymore I think my life would be less complete, but then I realized that what would be missing would be the emotional fulfillment I get out of having sex with someone I love. I think I could do without the sex if I really had to, but I dont know about the things that come along with the sex.
i dont think sex is only for emotional pleasure.. don't get me wrong if you don't really think that way.
Oh no I dont feel that way at all. But as far as what makes it something that fulfills my life I think it would be the emotional aspect of it that does it. Trust me, I like sex just fine for the physical aspect. Some times I like it too much and tire out my boyfriend with the amount that I want.
For a long time I thought that all I needed was the physical side of it and I didnt understand why I wasnt enjoying myself as much as I had in the past. I didnt get the same thing out of it until I was in a relationship with someone that I really love. Love between partners makes good sex great sex.
I see what you're saying. feels good to love and be loved, and in a sexual relationship that's super.
Are you joking??? Fulfillment in life would be exchanging lives with Hugh Heffner come on people keep it real. Say what you mean not what you think others would like to hear. Chances are they are thinkin the same exact things you are just to shy to speak them. Einstein himself with all his understanding of things knew the only thing he wanted was to understand women. Pleasures of the flesh is one of the things that have started wars and people fight and die for everyday,people can say it is love but come on sleepin w/a chick a couple times doesnt = love.Quote:
Originally Posted by Polymirize
[quote] Someday I want to take that special girl, buy a small patch of land in the chilean andes. Build a small rustic house with my own hands. Till the soil for my own 2 acre grow patch. Such a dream would be highly fulfilling.[quote]
You are telling me that when you are on your death bed you would rather think back on you sitting in your mud hut in south america rather than think about how you had 4 chicks quad down on you? Keep it real man,you are a MAN it is in our genes to do shit like that and it would be the fulfillment you need.
How old are you, DryGuy? Just curious.
Birdgirl you beat me to it.
Different people have different ideas of what it means to be fulfilled
Yep! And young men can't imagine that the time'll ever come when their hormonal urges aren't quite as strong or important to them, but it does happen. I'm convinced it's when that slight downcurve happens that men really come into their own as quality lovers, partners/spouses and even parents. Happens sooner for some than others. Seems also to be a component of men who have a spiritual streak, like Polymirize. He's got the bigger picture in mind as well as still being a sexually interested man. It just no longer governs his every urge.
This doesnt happen,your father,grandfather,great grandfather ALL wanted to have sex all the time its a fact. Ofcourse they didnt let you know as you were not the one they wanted it with understandably. Its just the older a man gets the less they get it usually. The name Dirty Old Man wasnt coined becouse it happened just once.Quote:
Originally Posted by birdgirl73
Are you serious? You are telling me that you would rather have some saggy skinned old man all up on you than a younger,stronger,stamina filled younger guy? I could understand if it was a money thing but for just a sexual relationship? Though i agree with you about spouses as these older guys know thats about all they are gonna get so they stick with it unless they have money ofcourse. As for parents,with age comes patience,and that is the key to parenting.Quote:
Originally Posted by birdgirl73
I tried to look up Polymirize as i have never heard of it before and got no results and it even asked me if i spelled it wrong. As for spiritual men.....Isnt it like every other week you hear in the news about some priest or other spiritual man molesting some boy? If thats the bigger picture.........:wtf:Quote:
Originally Posted by birdgirl73
Also to answer the question im 27,married,and have 2 kids.
oh shit sorry Birdgirl73..........i though when you said Polymirize you were speaking about some religion.........i didnt realize till after i posted it was the guy who wanted to build a hut in south america LOL sorry about that. Thought it was something like Polygamy LOL.
I'd master my desire and necessity so it does not govern me, I'm above it.
That sounds more like suppression,sex governs most things not just people.Quote:
Originally Posted by Non
if I'd need to have sex at least just once (and with the right woman I might add) because physiologically I'd need it for balance, it's been so long, so I don't go around starting trouble.. that would suck
quoted and sig'd :thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by Polymirize
I SOOOOOOO dont understand what ya are tryin to say here man? I think your brian was working faster than your fingers hehe it happens to us all from time to time :stoned:Quote:
Originally Posted by Non
Where in ANY of my posts did i say i wasnt happily married? My wife is great my life is good that has NOTHING to do with any of this. Fulfillment of needs arent really the issue here as most people in this world are fulfilled of the NEEDS to sustain life and live. I speak of wants and desires,specifically all of our (as human beings)primal desires. To say your needs are taken care of great!!!! We need more people like you who are content with just having your NEEDS fulfilled to help the rest of us with our desires and not have to worry about giving help back. Kinda like the guy who is 40 and is flipping burgers becouse he was too much of a dumbshit to get an education,and now beleives it is too late. You dont NEED the education to survive but it helps to fulfill your wants and desires. Keep flippin thoes burgers S.W.E.D.420.Quote:
Originally Posted by S.W.E.D.420
Also why does someone have to be married to be fulfilled in life? I dont remember even mentioning marriage except to state the fact that i am. Are you trying to say that to be fulfilled in life you must be married? Dont open that can of worms becouse you will choke.
Oh ok sorry man thought you were fighting with me LOL man i needs to slow down on the green tonite LOL sorry for spittin some ulginess at ya friend,force of habit there :(. In fact im goin up to............well i was gonna say change it but then the last 2 posts wouldnt make sence its cool i was wrong and im not too big to admit it :). Read it fast,stoned,and diggin on this debate/conversation :) Not a good combo i think ill be done till moning LOL Again friend im sorry didnt mean to go on attack mode :(
Was gonna throw in an edit there but it wouldnt let me :(
It's like you know me so well... Dave's a lucky guy, and you two seem pretty happy together so I'll try not to get my hopes up. But at this point, you're both more than welcome to come visit my dung hut someday... As soon as I build it, that is.Quote:
Originally Posted by birdgirl73
And Dry, you're describing the sex drive as if it was on the same level as hunger. So let me put it this way, I'd rather go hungry than eat junk food.
Honestly though, what would I do with four girls at the same time? All that action but absolutely no intimacy.
It's our conceptualization of man that opens the possibilities for our gender... Regardless of what drives you do feel, what drives do you feel would be most worthy?
well if you go all your life without having sex or even had a relationship with a woman because you've never found the 'right woman' or whatever, there's a certain age where it would start become unhealthy not just for you but for others as well.
Dry, I'm hoping you were a bit heavy into the green when you responded to me, too, because you certainly interpreted what I said about grownup men who are past their peak hormonal urges making more desirable lovers/partners/parents in a very extreme manner. That wasn't what I said or meant at all.
You'll have to trust me that I've not only discussed this very subject with my husband, father, and grandfather but that I also have proof in books and labs all over the country that men's testosterone levels decrease as they age. That doesn't mean guys don't continue to have sexual thoughts 9 times more often than we do. Y'all still do that. You're guys. But that slight dip in the hormonal drive to literally jump anyone with a vagina does occur. It's when that happens and guys aren't as on prowl anymore that I believe they truly come into their own as men instead of boys. They can concentrate on all sorts of things in addition to their own sexual urges. Like being a lover who's concerned about his partner's pleasure in addition to his own. About emotional intimacy. About children, if they're in the picture. This doesn't happen when men are old and wrinkly and saggy. That's an insult to grownup men, frankly. It generally begins to happen in the early 30s, sometimes before, and the testosterone levels decline slowly and steadily over time. This doesn't in any way render guys incapable sexually or from an erectile standpoint. It doesn't make them saggy or old. It just means their androgen (male hormone) levels change, which affects their brains and urges.
If you want some tips about how to stave off that dip as long as possible and remain a virile, Viagra-free horn-dog well into your 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond, we'll see if we can't get Dave Byrd, our resident circulatory expert, back on here to address this topic. He's living proof that that can be done, and he's just turned 50 and has never been sexier.
Other things begin to become more important as life goes on, but loving sex as I do I figure if I'm getting it on everyday, or every other day, why would I need to say it would be the last thing I would want to do before dying if I already had in the last 48 hours? :thumbsup: