Spiritually Using Marijuana To Overcome Emotional Trauma?

To say the least, from Summer 2005 until Summer 2006, I experienced some of the worst emotional trauma I believe one could face. My Mother is diagnosed bipolar-schizophrenic, and during that year, she was off of her medicine while my Dad was overseas. Despite my efforts to get her and myself help, nobody did.. and I suffered with extreme mental abuse for those months from her. I don't want to go into the details of what occurred, but she was to say the least overwhelmingly psychotic and abusive to me during that full year.

It is now coming up on Summer 2007, and I have recovered somewhat.. I have brief stints where I feel semi-normal, although nowhere near as normal as I was before all this happened, but still much better than before. I have all the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I just still can't believe that I'm dealing with this. 2 years ago, I was completely happy & a normal teenager going to High School, getting ready to graduate and move out & go to college, and now.. I'm at home every day, feeling so isolated and withdrawn and emotionally drained. It is the worst feeling. (Sorry for the whining, but I honestly have noone to talk to about this.. nobody really understands how deep this goes. It's not just depression sad that lasts 3 days, this is life-changing horrible)

So anyway, a few months ago I ordered this Audio CD that is made for trauma victims called "healthjourneys: A Guided Meditation for Healing Trauma" and I was absolutely astonished at how deep it was. I never knew something could touch me like that. I was crying the whole 30 minutes it was playing. Afterwards, I felt a huge weight lifted off of my heart. I didn't feel so sufferable and I felt more intuned with myself. The creator of the CD suggests using it a few times a week to completely overcome the trauma, but the last few times I've listened to it.. I was so emotionally numb that I couldn't meditate or focus or look inward as I had the first time. So my question is, would smoking marijuana help me look deeper and possibly HEAL deeper? I am desperate for anything. I can't live life like this. I still have so much to accomplish. If anyone could please give me some insight on marijuana & possible uses for PTSD/emotional trauma, I'd really appreciate it with all my heart.

Thanks :)

good luck friend,
you'll find a brighter day sooner or later.
It's natural to feel disconnected with ur past self.
Don't smoke too much, but take breaks every now and then.

They have been using cannabis for PTSD for several years now. Heres a little article from 2004-http://www.drugpolicy.org/news/08_09_04israel.cfm Granny:hippy:

ive noticed the changes between now and my paast life, its like weed opens your eyes to the truth


it can damage u emotionally when u think about it

you can try, but i dont think it will work.

Weed can help. However, It can also make things worse.
For me, weed has helped me look inside myself and initiate change. But I have heard of people getting these so called "panic attacks" and I don't know if u'll get them.
If ur anything like me, then you should be fine.

Good luck.

i don't know about using weed for PTSD, but there is quite a bit of research going on with using MDMA in therapy. google it.

and good luck.

FUCK. I just typed like two pages worth, and then lost everything...

oh well.... I typed previously that I have expirienced basically the exact same event as you.
You need to grieve over the pain you expirienced.
Weed can help, not with the greiving but with other things... Like meditation.
In my case, my depression was ended when I first discovered cannabis, in one single psychedelic session. It gave me strength, courage, and understanding.
It still helps, but in other ways. It's as if the drug teaches me slowly, when I binge, enriching my subconscious with ideas that only emerge consciously over time. This happens usually when I binge, but ends when my tolerance gets too high, (usually around a week or two).
Therapy is the usually the best solution for healing.
Stronger psychedelics can used with great potential, but some risk.
Here are some links that helped me: This Is A War - ABUSE
This Is A War - DEPRESSION
The Journey to the Emotional Frontier Within-emotional defense mechanisms
Helpguide: Expert, non-commercial information on mental health, healthy lifestyles and aging issues
You Carry the Cure In Your Own Heart by Andrew Vachss (Parade Magazine): The Zero 5.0laf - The Official Website of Andrew Vachss
How to Be Happy - WikiHow

the joy2meu site has a lot of great info, be sure to check that out
And remember, there is nothing to fear any more.
Never be ashamed of anything you feel or think.
You have the right to be happy.

Peace

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Inferius

FUCK. I just typed like two pages worth, and then lost everything...

oh well.... I typed previously that I have expirienced basically the exact same event as you.
You need to grieve over the pain you expirienced.
Weed can help, not with the greiving but with other things... Like meditation.
In my case, my depression was ended when I first discovered cannabis, in one single psychedelic session. It gave me strength, courage, and understanding.
It still helps, but in other ways. It's as if the drug teaches me slowly, when I binge, enriching my subconscious with ideas that only emerge consciously over time. This happens usually when I binge, but ends when my tolerance gets too high, (usually around a week or two).
Therapy is the usually the best solution for healing.
Stronger psychedelics can used with great potential, but some risk.
Here are some links that helped me: This Is A War - ABUSE
This Is A War - DEPRESSION
The Journey to the Emotional Frontier Within-emotional defense mechanisms
Helpguide: Expert, non-commercial information on mental health, healthy lifestyles and aging issues
You Carry the Cure In Your Own Heart by Andrew Vachss (Parade Magazine): The Zero 5.0laf - The Official Website of Andrew Vachss
How to Be Happy - WikiHow

the joy2meu site has a lot of great info, be sure to check that out
And remember, there is nothing to fear any more.
Never be ashamed of anything you feel or think.
You have the right to be happy.

Peace

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Thanks everyone for your comments. :)

Inferius - did you ever recover from the abuse? did you feel stronger in the end? how long did it take? etc.

Thanks alot. I really need this right now.

It took me about two years.
I do feel stronger, although my self-esteem is still pretty bad, and that occasionally still leads to suicidal thoughts.
But other than that, time and effort heals most things.
And just something to note, don't hate your mother, hate, (if you have to), her actions, becuase your mother was sick. It wasn't her fault. This transition may seem unimportant, but I think its connotations into the structure of the family dynamic and the subconscious are very, very important.

Never lose hope.

I,am bi polar, I went through 4 years of living hell my who life was taken
from me and then I had to go to prison, It takes time to heal, my life today
is not as bad as it once was, but it is not easy eather. do somthing that makes you fell better about your self, but remember life is hard so just hold
on and go with the flow

i found that chronic is like a band-aid. it helps the injury that lies beneath it because you can no longer see the injury. But as soon as you try to take that Band Aid off your injury gets stuck to it and tears itself open again. Weed forms a temperary form of escapism. But after this is gone it gets stuck to the glue and rips itself open even deeper. As much as weed heals, weed damages.
when you are stressed try getting buzzed instead of baked, cuz then youre brain is still working well enough to patch itself and correct you deppressing thoughts.

I wouldn't reccomend smoking. You need to heal from your abuse and smoking will make you forget what happend for a while, but I will not heal you. You need to find a new support system to help you through this. Use a counsler if you must. While it is sweet that you are helping your mom, you need to completely heal yourself before you can help your mother simply for the fact that you are too emotionally weak to handle her. Once you can overcome this battle, you can use this strenght to brush it off your shoulder, and you will feel MUCH better and you can help your mother much better. When you are feeling weak, use your new support system to help you through this, even if it means just writing in a diary/journal. While weed can make you comfortably numb, it may just make you remember all the abuse.

While suffering may cause you pain, it makes you stronger knowing what you have overcomed. Do not blame anything on yourself, never blame yourself, while it may be hard to be optimistic, you need to try find the best qualities in things.

Your mother is suffering just as bad as you are, she just can't realize it.

Pick a mantra, and whenever you are feeling down, find a way to be alone, go outside, breathe, and repeat your mantra, or simply listen to your CD. From what you say, this CD is a goldmine, I wouldn't go anywhere without it if I were you. It's okay to admit that you can't always help your mother, and it is unfair that you have to do this alone, it is a huge burden. I respect you for doing your best.

Having your father away makes it harder as well, not truely knowing if he is okay. Make sure to connect to your father as much as possible, even if you write multiple letters a day. I hope he knows about your situation, for when he returns he can have the right attitude towards you and your mother. Your father can also give you some advice.

I hope all goes well. :hippy:

fuck yes the weed will make it deeper get you a sack and overcome that shit;)

a 3 hour escape wont do anything. and on top of that, you can feel like shit and depressed when your high as well.

man my moms the same way...bipolar, emotionaly unstable, and psycotic. I know man. Fuck all that shit...bringing back memories of a hellish childhood. I say fuck it and blaze up.