Any suggestions...

What do you do when a close friend is comitting crimes against fashion? One of my gfs in "real" life has recently gained weight. She's beautiful, the weight doesn't matter...what does matter is she's still trying to squirm her size 12/13 into a 7/8 and she looks ridiculous. Should I say something or keep my mouth shut? What do I say?

My husband has been urging me to say something before someone else tells her about it in a mean way. He's like, "Mary tell her about it coz she's gonna go out one night and some drunk is gonna say, 'Hey, you look like 20 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag!'" :rolleyes: He says she'd rather hear it nicely from a friend than be pointed to and laughed at by a stranger.

you dont do anything, because its up to her, and people should be told how to dress and look

or you could slap her and say "LOOK IN THE MIRROR, YOU GODDAM TROLL!!"

either way is good :)

Just tell her there's a fine line between self confidence and public decency.

I am with you on the tragicness of such fashion sense but on the other hand unless she asks for your personal opinion you should not say anything. She is your friend and if she is comfortable it shouldn't make any difference.

That was the ethical side of me. Now the other side of me says damn I would probably be mortified goin out with her (I know that is shallow). If some how she could see that clothes that fit are more flattering than looking like strung roast. Some sort of enlarged photo of her in the offending outfit.....
How did that get there :confused: ? you would say

Suggest to go shopping with her? But I guess if she still picks out the 7/8 size clothes she must be in denial? Come on every women has a pair of "fat jeans" lol

see, you can get away with saying such things to her MJM. you yourself are a woman (right? thats what I thought) and as such you are safe from the 'you think I look fat?' situations us men have to deal with. but seriously, she's not likely to be comfortable in the tight clothing, right? I sure as hell wouldn't be...simply suggest that she might not be so constricted in clothing that fits properly. and she also wouldn't look quite so fat...I much prefer my wife telling me before we go out that I have an hole in the ass of my pants big enough to escape from, rather than find out as I take my seat at the symphony and cause the old lady behind me to faint.

Try imitating her for a day or maybe make a comment about someone else who does the same thing.

Ok, for the most part, everyone seems to agree that I need to say/do something to stop her madness. I've already made comments about "other ppl" (strangers) but she doesn't get the hint. She's trying to draw attention to her chest but the tight clothing is also showing all of her extra weight. I don't know how she breathes or sits down without being sliced in half by her own jeans. Well, I'll say something, I'll just have to find a nice way to put it. First, I think I'll buy her something to wear for Christmas in a bigger size, so maybe I can still skate out of having to say something and risk hurt feelings.

kick her if she moves KICK HER AGAIN

for once im not sure what to say:0. I do agree with ur hubby that it would be better commin from u then a stranger, but thinkin about how u would say it is a hard one. i think u have the right idea with gettin her sumthing for christmas in a bigger size. then make sure u reasure her that it looks so much better and she looks slimer;) that works well.lol. other then that im not sure what else u can do :s!! sry babe wish i could help more.

tell her in a nice way -wouldnt you want someone to tell you? i think that anyone who erally cared should .. or something like that.

"20 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag!'
now thats brutally funny
i apologize for luaghing like blithering idiot
and u should tell her only if your friends ,real freinds,ya know
set her down say look,your ass does not fit in the clothes,once maybe,not now
and i say this cuase i care enough to not let you look like 20 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag!(jokes,)
but yes tell her KINDLY but surely
just think if u notice her,,,,so do THEY and they dont see but the view,they dont know her or care what she is like,if she looks like
'20 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag!"
somebody who dont care ,will surely piont that out in a cold manner,at the worst time,

hope it works out
peace

lol@"20pounds of shit in a 5pound bag"...hehehe, I must remember that when I next see my ex :rolleyes:

She (my ex *bleugh*) used to wear ski-pants...:eek:...:confused:...
She was slim when we first met, then one day, I woke up and she was, like, the size of Uganda..WTF!...water-retention?...how much water did you drink?...the Baltic Sea?
When we used to go to the beach, the life-guards had to fend off the Norwiegians and Japanese!!

Sorry, I just in a bad-mood :mad:

I'm still trying to visualize what she is doing, am I close...

I got a freind like that man... Just gotta let people do their thing...

I like your idea about buying her something in a bigger size and going shopping together. But if she doesent get the hint tell her she shouldent wear such tight clothing. Then maybe you guys can go to a gym or something to amke her feel ebtter and so she can fit back into her old clothes. ;) Good luck!

I am a size 12, and would be gentle about it by lending her some of my clothes for go outs. (I am a fasion whore, my wardrobe should be envied by all mortals) Then she noticed how much more positive attention she was getting I would point out that men tend to buy you drinks when your dressed, and not when your falling out of your dress. Size 12 isn't fat, but you sure can look it if you wear the wrong clothes.
If she doesn't get it...be a girlfriend and point out someone who is dressing similar (at the mall, or online the rhino pic would be perfect)...see what she says about it. Then tactfully point out where the similarities lie.
If she is trying to show off her tits, then buy her an outfit, pants which fit, a shirt which also fits, but is very low cut. Jebus, that's my whole wardrobe, lol Everything I own is fitted, but covers me. I have all my clothes altered to my measurements though, I prefer a tailored look. Maybe you should get your friend to do similar? Alterations are cheap, 5-10 and it makes your clothes look really good on ya.
Failing all that, just be blunt...smoke one with her and tell her that she needs a makeover, her style isn't flattering and she looks like a hoochie. Looking like a hoochie has advantages, but I never saw a lawyer dating one. You have to dress like the kind of man your trying to attract. Dressing like that is sure to get you a date with some dude on unemployment and unlikely to attract any educated type gentleman. They treat you well if you come off good. Women are a trophy to men, if they ashamed of you, your going in the closet...if your nice and polished your going out.
ramble ramble ramble, I could talk about this for days.
I used to look trashy and weigh 375 pounds, I know first hand the difference in how people treat you.

I'm going to see her on Friday, she's my friend and my stylist, so I'm going to give her her gift and make my suggestion. But I'll wait until after my highlight. lol

Yeah, Scarlett, she's always trying to show off her boobs. She can drink a beer with them. :rolleyes: I'm always like, "For Christs sake put those things away!"

hard situation

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Originally Posted by maryjanemama

But I'll wait until after my highlight. lol

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hahahaha thats not a bad idea. Other wise u might end up with all ur hair sum fucked up color :( or worse it could just all come fallin out :eek
now that would suck....but we would form a support group for u if it did happen :D:D

You should go shopping with her and suggest her clothes that make her look skinnier. I use to be a pretty big guy, I use to wear clothes that minimize how fat I truly was, and that'll help with self-confidence, knowing that she doesn't have to squeeze into clothes to make her think she looks sexy.

like buck said, you gotta just let people do their thing

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Originally Posted by GHoSToKeR

like buck said, you gotta just let people do their thing

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True, but extreme denial can be a dangerous thing.

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Originally Posted by clevemire

True, but extreme denial can be a dangerous thing.

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Yes, I can't let her go on like this...if I don't tell her, someone else will, and it won't be pretty.