another post made me do it (it's about death, so if you're sensitive about it...yeah)

ok, so i was responding to another post, and i just want to see how everyone feels about this subject, what do you feel about funerals, have you ever been to one, and what did you feel while at it (or if you haven't been to one, what DO you feel about them) .......

my relevant post is: i don't want my last thought of anyone i care about to be that ghostly white, lifeless body laying in a coffin, i want my last thought to be of them happy, and when they were alive.... i want my last thought of them to be when we were together, not when they were all alone in their death bed, or assuming 'ghosts' are real, starring at me mourning their death...

so how do you feel.... honestly, about the subject.... do you want everyone there crying at your dead body, or would you perfer, everyone know you love them, and ever know you care.... rather then have to see them in pain just to realize this fact (this last part is only my opinion, of course...)

i went to my grandmas wake, i was listening to korn and all i could do was laugh and rejoice that the bitch was dead.
i got kicked out of the church

I've been to quite a few funerals, the most recent of which was my older sister's funeral in early November not even two months ago. They're awful, it's true. And they're disturbing. But you get through them. If you're not close family, you endure attending them out of respect and love for the survivors and the deceased. If you're close family, you just endure them because you have to. I wanted to run screaming from the room when the visitation and funeral for my sister were happening, but now I'm glad I was there even though it was awful. The funerals for my grandparents were easier, but I think that's because they passed after they'd had long, long lives.

The thing about seeing people in their coffins, assuming there's an open casket, is that that image does stay with you for a time. But in the case of my sister, so does the image of her wasted, pale body, suffering in pain, terminally ill with cancer before she died. In some ways, the image of her at peace and out of pain is the preferable one. And I'm already finding that I'm increasingly imagining her in my memory as the lively, healthy person she was before she became ill. Those healthy, alive images are the ones that'll eventually stay with me instead of the image in her coffin.

I don't really care if people come to my funeral or not or see me after I pass. If they do come to my funeral, I hope they'll be doing that to show support to my survivors. What I really hope is that when my time comes, my family will anoint my 110-year-old body with clarified butter, flowers, spices, incense, and flowers, place me on a floating funeral pyre, light that fire, and let me float off down the Ganges River. That's my idea of a nifty way to go!

Been to many funerals and did the Pallbearer thing at 3 of them. That has to be the worst! Carrying the box out to a 6 ft. hole........just creepy!! Ya almost feel like the Grim Reeper in a way.

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Psycho4Bud

Been to many funerals and did the Pallbearer thing at 3 of them. That has to be the worst! Carrying the box out to a 6 ft. hole........just creepy!! Ya almost feel like the Grim Reeper in a way.

Have a good one!:jointsmile:

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yes that part is hard, i was a pallbearer at my brothers funeral...

to birdgirl, i really couldn't tell you if that would make things easier, as you (probably) know, my brother went extremley quickly, and it was all but expected.... i have only gone through one death, (been to two funerals, but the other one, was someone i had never even MET much less known, and was before my brothers death, though i will say, it did take a toll on me, just seeing a body there and 'realizing at one point, a person used to inhabit that body' ....basicly just looking up upon that body and realizing 'hey that was a lively person, that was SOMEONE!' took a toll upon me) so i couldn't tell you whether a slow death or a fast death would be 'better' idealy, but a death is a death, period... it is hard for all involved, and even some not.... so i can associate with you on that fact.... but as for the comment on the coffin, i can honestly say, no matter what the image of him in that coffin will stay with me forever, although i'm not so sure about the image of him alive, maybe it's the person viewing that really makes the statement true one way or another, but i KNOW after him, i remember the last image, and not nessicarily the 'better image'... just something for anyone to be prepared for... i'm not telling you to not go to your loved ones funeral, but if you do, IF YOU DO, you better be atleast prepared to hold that image in your head forever, if not, you're just better off not going... and i only speak from experience...

i don't even remember anything about the other perons funeral except a bird shit on me, (and that's only happened one other time in my life) but i remember even what my brothers dead skin felt like on my lips.... just be ready to hold that image for your life, if you're going to....

my grandma passed away last month and it was the second funeral that I'd been to. It didnt really seem like she was gone until after we took her ashes to the grave yard. When I die I want to be cremated. I've never been to a funeral where the person wasnt cremated. I think that could change the experince a lot

The way I see, it when I go, I want everyone to party and get down and be happy. I think most people would feel the same, but I think that once someone goes, the least we owe them is a little of our time to greive and realize how much theyll be missed.

I've been to three:

First was my grandpa's girlfriend when I was 9 (closer than a grandma to me)
Second was a grandpa's friend's wife when I was 14
Third was a best friend who shot himself in the head (suicide) when I was 18.

The friend's funeral was completely depressing. He was actually a very happy person (around us) and atheist, yet his parents played all heavy organ depressing music.

I want fucking rock 'n roll at my funeral, dressed in t shirt and shorts, and have someone perform "The Great Gig In The Sky" while every toker in the room lights up. Taco Bell and cereal will be served at the wake. I will be put into a tissue digesting machine and be made into compost for a tree. A beech tree.

That would be a damn good funeral.

this thread really bothers me, not so much because its talking about death but because its detailing the sad truth about a funeral, they are sad and depressing and thats not how it should be at all, when a person dies their life should be celebrated and people should cut lose and have a few drinks and remember funny stories about the person who has passed, you know like how at wedding dinners when people say toastes to the bride and groom and often tell funny rediculous stories about the two.... thats how a funeral should be, people toasting and drinking to the dearly departed and recalling awesome stories about their life and laughing and having a great time.... that being said, when i die i want a chunk of my life insurance money to pay for a trip to hawaii for my closest friends, once they get down there, there will be a boat waiting for them with a few kegs on it and they are to go out into the ocean, have some drinks on me and throw my ashes into the ocean.... it will be my final thank you for being there and making a difference in my life.

why do people have funerals anyways? i dont know of anyone who would want to put their loved ones through it and i also dont know of anyone who is very fond of attending them so whats the point? do we do it just because thats what were supposed to do?!

I'm 28yrs and I only seen one dead person in my life... It was my ex-gf's, step-dad's, relative... This was back when I was 20yrs or so... I remember feeling this strong urge not to be around 'death'... Like it might 'see' me or something... I dont know it was weird. When I looked at the body I didnt feel comfortable. Later that night me and the ex had some crazy sex in the relative's bathroom while they were eating and talking about the deceased... Made me feel better and I forgot all about the first part of the day.


On a slightly different note, sometimes when I get high I get disturbing thoughts of my own mortality and how I will die one day... I'm not so much afraid of being dead as much as the whole process of dying... I'm afraid what it will be like to lose life and 'taste' death and that exact moment when I feel life leave my body... I think life is so beautiful and to lose that and become part of 'death' makes me feel sad. I fucking hate it when I get high and think about it though cause it becomes such a vivid thought it makes my heart race.

I dont like death... I dont know if I would want people looking at my dead corpse... I would rather be thought of in memory. The only comfort I can think of with death is if I can be buried next to my ex-gf from HS... I wouldnt be so afraid of death or sad about not seeing the sun rise/set every day if I could spent eternity with her.