Post a joke here when u are high.
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Post a joke here when u are high.
a baby seal walk's into a club.......
and he says, "this isnt the aquarium!"
its not really a joke but i had a vision of how people made tinted windows:)
i`m sitting outside tonight and my house lights are on and i see in side but the inside cant see me and so i`m like wow am i really baked or is this really how they made tinted windows:)
Hehe
"The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!"
bahaha
Me.
Oo, oo!
United States democracy?!
LMFAO! hahahahahahaQuote:
Originally Posted by BoNgzilLa805
Cops see this blonde coming towards them swerving from side to side,pull her over and ask what the fuck she was doing?
Blonde replies:"avoiding all the trees "
Cop looks inside the car and says"that your fuckings airfreshner"
Two blondes walk into a building you'd think one of them would have seen it.
An old man was sitting on a bench at the local shopping centre. A young man walked up and sat down next to him. He had spiked hair in different colours; green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.
The old man just stared at him. The young man turned to him and said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and fucked
a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."
Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak.
Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you."
The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?"
Bob says, "OK."
Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?"
Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK."
Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up.
The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?"
The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I ain't touching it.
A joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by GetBakedOrDieTryin
what colour is chuck norris' blood?
no one knows cos he never bleeds.
apparently chucks tears can cure cancer;
too bad the fucker never cries.