Doubt . . .

I have a bit of a problem. I used to have dreams, asperations and goals. But so much shit happened, and i gave up on them long ago. I decided to devote myself to the high, and ever since then life has been great! But a little while ago, i began to doubt my faith in the high. My plan, was to totally devote myself to high because i love it so much. It's the base for which i live my life. And suddenly i became faced with something. The possibility that old dreams, asperations, goals can come true. If i decide to take a chance, and chase after an old desire then i will be throwing away a big of part of who i am today, giving up the devotion to the high.

If i go after these old dreams, which i'm not sure i care about too much, it would open up sooo many doors for opportunity's and i don't know if i like that idea. I like my devotion, my high is something i truly enjoy. More then anything, but something i used to want so badly in the past having a chance to become a reality? I don't know if it's worth chasing after anymore. I'm leaning toward sticking to the high i love so much but i'm still not sure.

Normally i would seek the council of mushrooms (they've always provided me with the answers to lifes problems) but this town has been dry of those for a while now.

There still your dreams and desires, if something happens and one of them comes true, then you'll be a lucky pothead.

Most of my dreams were shattered beyond repair.

Dreams I used to give myself were always very self glorifying and, to be honest, based on the "luck" it would take me to achieve them...being a professional musician etc etc. It's only when I took my God given gifts and applied them in a logical, and morally positive way that opportunity came. If you live life thinking "what does life have for me", you do so in a selfish way, without love in your heart, and God has no reason to grant you a life you would live for yourself only; it would go towards nothing.

I'm not sure what you mean by faith in the high. Are you talking about being stoned? If that is the case than I'm sorry, you've devoted your life to the foolish mindset of intoxication...confusion, foolery. If you mean the "high" that life tends to give? I would say that it is very misleading (or at least can be). Great things happen in life to those who don't deserve it, that they might learn a little bit about life (usually they don't) In other words..the good things in life are a "chasing of the wind" because when you die, the "high" of this life dies with you. Whether life was good to you or not doesn't matter, because in the end our lives on earth are 70-ish years of being in the womb, before eternity.

Who says you can't take the middle path?

Shit, man! Get yo' ass on that rocketship and sneak a spliff in with you!

If you entirely devote yourself to the high to make life worth living, eventually (and innevitably) the high won't be anything special anymore and you'll need it just to not feel bad. take the middle path, and don't cheapen that which you love in life by overkilling it.

well i dont know about any of you but alot of my dreams involve getting high

I agree with devious. If you can't be happy without being high, then you can never truly be happy. the lows are inevitable. And then the highs get so you need more and more to maintain happiness.

That path leads to burnout.

That middle path sounds pretty good to me. Fuck the whole samsaric cycle.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mr Greenthumb

My plan, was to totally devote myself to high because i love it so much. It's the base for which i live my life. And suddenly i became faced with something. The possibility that old dreams, asperations, goals can come true. If i decide to take a chance, and chase after an old desire then i will be throwing away a big of part of who i am today, giving up the devotion to the high.

If i go after these old dreams, which i'm not sure i care about too much, it would open up sooo many doors for opportunity's and i don't know if i like that idea. I like my devotion, my high is something i truly enjoy. More then anything, but something i used to want so badly in the past having a chance to become a reality? I don't know if it's worth chasing after anymore. I'm leaning toward sticking to the high i love so much but i'm still not sure.

Normally i would seek the council of mushrooms (they've always provided me with the answers to lifes problems) but this town has been dry of those for a while now.

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Sorry, I suppose my last post didn't really address this but: Doubt is an inevitable part of life. Just deal with it and make a choice. Personally it sounds like you're deciding to not risk growing in any sorts of ways that might threaten your high. I think it's sad that you've made substance the source of happiness in your life, whether that substance is bud, or shroomies, or money, or a hot piece of ass. It's not that these things aren't to be enjoyed, but don't make them absolutes.
Don't be so bound to the past or the future that you won't live in the present.

If your wondering if you should take a path other than that of a stoner I don't think shrooms would be the right consultant. My advise is to try the other end of the spectrum and take some coke or ritalin get your brain thinking at its peak and then see what you think is best for you.

everything in moderation
including moderation ;o)