Okay, here the Penguin is, asking for relationship advice.
I have two women whom I love very deeply, but I don't know which one to choose, and I'm really stuck.
Paige, who cares for me and hates even to see me hurt in any way, and who has so much in common with me it's insane, yet is going out with my best friend.
Amy, who doesn't think the way I do, but cares for me, and even though we have massive fights occasionally, some invisible tie brought us together even though we met fighting, and has kept us together. We really have no way of explaining it.
We had drama enough today, but I know it's going to come down to one, another, or neither, and I need advice. Please help, and don't fuck with me, I'm dead serious here.