whats torogs problem?

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Originally Posted by F L E S H

Not being their friends doesn't mean I wouldn't love and respect them. By definition, friendship implies a relationship between equals, and that's where the parent-child relationship is different. I think it is absolutely not a good idea to treat your children, at least until they're 18 or otherwise mature enough, as the parents' equals.

Obviously, that doesn't mean you don't love and respect them.

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Hey man, my post was just a joke...

But I do strongly believe that every person on this planet is equal, therefore everybody should be treated as equals. This includes children. Sure, children are always going to need looking after, nurturing and teaching, and occasionally some sort of discipline, but I will never believe that intimidation is a good way to raise your children. All the people I know who have had parents like that have grown up wanting to parent their own children better.. however all the people I know who's parents were more relaxed (didn't hit them, and gave the kid an almost 'free reign') have grown up saying how much they respected what their parents did for them. This isn't the case all the time, but I still strongly believe that physical discipline or intimidation are not the right ways to help your children grow up and develop.

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Originally Posted by GHoSToKeR

Hey man, my post was just a joke...

But I do strongly believe that every person on this planet is equal, therefore everybody should be treated as equals. This includes children. Sure, children are always going to need looking after, nurturing and teaching, and occasionally some sort of discipline, but I will never believe that intimidation is a good way to raise your children. All the people I know who have had parents like that have grown up wanting to parent their own children better.. however all the people I know who's parents were more relaxed (didn't hit them, and gave the kid an almost 'free reign') have grown up saying how much they respected what their parents did for them. This isn't the case all the time, but I still strongly believe that physical discipline or intimidation are not the right ways to help your children grow up and develop.

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and my granny who used to make me run out to the backyard to get a stick for swats was the greatest women i ever knew besides my mother and wife.

all i can say is that my wifes aunt raises her son very relaxed,no real punishments,just a good talking to.can eat whatever he wants,watches whatever he wants,and talks however he wants is a total little shit who speaks disrespectfully to adults,misbehaves in school,and people are shocked to be around him.

PUSSY PARENTS ARE THE PROBLEM IN AMERICAS KIDS. :D

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Originally Posted by amsterdam

and my granny who used to make me run out to the backyard to get a stick for swats was the greatest women i ever knew besides my mother and wife.

all i can say is that my wifes aunt raises her son very relaxed,no real punishments,just a good talking to.can eat whatever he wants,watches whatever he wants,and talks however he wants is a total little shit who speaks disrespectfully to adults,misbehaves in school,and people are shocked to be around him.

PUSSY PARENTS ARE THE PROBLEM IN AMERICAS KIDS. :D

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holy shit, i agree.

who the fuck came up with time-out? it was obviously some kid who got their glasses knocked off one too many times and because he grew up as a pussy the rest of the nation must follow suit.

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Originally Posted by GHoSToKeR

Hey man, my post was just a joke...

But I do strongly believe that every person on this planet is equal, therefore everybody should be treated as equals. This includes children. Sure, children are always going to need looking after, nurturing and teaching, and occasionally some sort of discipline, but I will never believe that intimidation is a good way to raise your children. All the people I know who have had parents like that have grown up wanting to parent their own children better.. however all the people I know who's parents were more relaxed (didn't hit them, and gave the kid an almost 'free reign') have grown up saying how much they respected what their parents did for them. This isn't the case all the time, but I still strongly believe that physical discipline or intimidation are not the right ways to help your children grow up and develop.

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As human beings, Persons of all ages from birth are equal, yes. But in a parent-child relationships, parents are the authority! Grrrr

BTW, I wasn't offended or anything, just discussing :D

"JAH RASTAFARI"

Personally, if I had to meet a right wing Christian from the south, I'd much rather it be a right wing Christian from the south who tokes. I'm a liberal, but, there are guns in my house (safely locked away, not loaded). Is there some sort of rule book that says the way we vote has to rule every aspect of how we live?

The parenting issue is a tough one. I believe most kids need a spanking at some point. I have even washed my son's smart mouth out with soap....twice. There is a difference between how you raise your kids when they are too young to make their own decisions, and how you parent them when they are teens. When they are teens, if you have raised them properly, they will have the ability to make some decisions on their own using their common sense. Yes, they will make mistakes. But I would rather my kids feel safe enough to talk to me and tell me the truth than be afraid of me and lie.

I don't care what anyone says, if you harm your kids physically to the point where they are afraid of you, then they will start to stop trusting you. Then, you've lost them forever. They should respect your authority, not be afraid you'll beat the hell out of them.

I agree that children need to learn who is boss. Parents' word should always be LAW, whether it is right or wrong. I don't think I'll ever spank my daughter though. I will, however, make sure that she gets real punishments when needed.

When I was a child I was never spanked. If I was really bad I would get grounded. In our house a grounding meant no going out to play, no friends coming over to play, no tv, no video games, no phone, etc. I was an only child and didn't have any siblings to play with either. Looking back I think I would have preferred the spanking that a weeks worth of grounding. It would have been over a lot sooner.

What gets me these days is not the methods that people use to discipline their kids but the fact that so many seem not to discipline them at all. I don't know how many times I've seen kids wreaking havoc in the grocery store while the parents completely ignore their actions. Just recently I came out of a restuarant to find a kid jumping up and down on the back bumper of my car while the parents stood by talking with some friends totally oblivious. When I said something to the kid the father had the nerve to get on my case about yelling at his kid. I wanted to pop the guy in the jaw but seeing as children were near I didn't want to make a scene. So, exercising great restraint, I politely explained just that to the guy and told him if he still had a problem we should discuss it around the corner in private. He didn't, and mumbled something about not noticing what his kid was doing. That in itself says a lot about his parenting.

This thread was posted seven months ago...DIE.

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Originally Posted by maryjanemama

Personally, if I had to meet a right wing Christian from the south, I'd much rather it be a right wing Christian from the south who tokes. I'm a liberal, but, there are guns in my house (safely locked away, not loaded). Is there some sort of rule book that says the way we vote has to rule every aspect of how we live?

The parenting issue is a tough one. I believe most kids need a spanking at some point. I have even washed my son's smart mouth out with soap....twice. There is a difference between how you raise your kids when they are too young to make their own decisions, and how you parent them when they are teens. When they are teens, if you have raised them properly, they will have the ability to make some decisions on their own using their common sense. Yes, they will make mistakes. But I would rather my kids feel safe enough to talk to me and tell me the truth than be afraid of me and lie.

I don't care what anyone says, if you harm your kids physically to the point where they are afraid of you, then they will start to stop trusting you. Then, you've lost them forever. They should respect your authority, not be afraid you'll beat the hell out of them.

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Well said :)

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Originally Posted by maryjanemama

I don't care what anyone says, if you harm your kids physically to the point where they are afraid of you, then they will start to stop trusting you. Then, you've lost them forever. They should respect your authority, not be afraid you'll beat the hell out of them.

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Well said, but still I don't think that you need to hit your kids in order to teach them right and wrong, and to teach them who is 'boss'. Alot of people seem to think that if you say you don't hit your kids then it must mean that you let them do whatever the fuck they want, and that pisses me off. Sure, some parents do let their kids do whatever the fuck they want, and I imagine that in most of these cases the children grow up to be spoiled brats as adults.

What I believe is that, from the moment they are old enough to understand, you should just be honest with your children. Don't lie to them (about things like drugs, sex, etc...) and they will learn to trust you; don't let them have everything they want, and they will learn that nobody can always have everything you want; don't hit them and they won't grow to fear you; don't talk down to them and try and control them unecessarily and they won't try and rebel against you. Assert authority not by physical abuse or force, but by always having an open and honest relationship... explain that the reason you have authority over them is because you have their best interests at heart and because you are only looking after them... don't treat them with the "do what I say because I say so" attitude.

I dunno...this is just what I think, but i've never had kids...

Put it this way - my parents didn't raise me or my brother and sisters like this, and we all believe that we should raise our children differently to how we were raised ourselves.. we've all 'broken the mould', so to speak.

Peace and Pistachios.

-GHoST-