Calling out to DreadedHermie for a game of "stoner chess"

Yep.

P-K3

P X QP

p x p (p -Q4)

B - QKn 5
Check

B - Q2

P X P

B x P
(KB - QB4)

See, the fiancetto was OK (I think).

If I'da PxP it would have left me an isolated pawn. My QP and your KP should fix the current split when they meet.

0 - 0

Let the killing begin.

P -QR3