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I was having sex with this girl and we where doing it anal. when i pulled out to cum i pulled more than my dick out, and she basically shit all over the bed! it was so gross and smelled so nasty. SHe was so embarrased that i didn't hear from her for a few days, and we had just started going out. I'm SO GLAD i was wearing a condom!
hahaha ^^ thats the best BY FAR PEOPLE!Quote:
Originally Posted by X-ecutioner
Last night my ex- fishing- buddy- with- benefits stopped by for some braised duck, and eh... yeah we ended up back in da sack... it's been a minute...
So my dog has not been allowed on the bed recently. When she came up to see what all the commotion was about this morning around 5, she found Donk in HER spot.
What did she do? What any hyper-territorial female mastiff with a urinary tract infection would do!!!
She got up on the bed, squatted, and PEED on him!!!
He, being the go-with-the-flow kinda guy that he is, no pun intended, finished up what he was doing and said, "Uh. Your dog- I think- just peed on me..."
Nice... everyone really wants a golden shower from a 4 legged hairy bitch with a UTI...
LOL, ^ that last line is hilarious!
R u Crazyyyyyyy..... That IS the hottest sound in the world. Gives me goosebumps just thinking about it.. I cant see how that would turn somebody off. Thats the stuff that gets me going:thumbsup: :DQuote:
Originally Posted by rebgirl420
Back to the topic tho. Me and the ex were in my pool, she didnt have her suit at my house so i let her use one of my lil sisters since they r about the same size. We ended up getting it on in the pool, while she kept her suit on and we worked around it. Anyways my sister came out of left feild to catch her brother f*cking his girlfriend in her swim suit LMfuckingAO
Needless to say my sis threw the suit away after it had naughty parts a' rubbin on it.
I thought it was hilarious, my sis was heated, she said i cant wear that now, and my ex was embarassed to say the least.
Thats the funniest sex story i have.
My family is very open sexually tho, so im not embarrased about too much in that sense, i think my ex was feeling a little akward tho:D
The dick crushing, ass juice flowing, and going limp are the worst ones.