its weird... today im like angry... just generally pissed shit turned out this way... i shot my gun out the window... i threw the garbage cans around... cant stop swearing... shits fucked up
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its weird... today im like angry... just generally pissed shit turned out this way... i shot my gun out the window... i threw the garbage cans around... cant stop swearing... shits fucked up
hope u r feelin better
Probably you're too young so far to have read much about grief or death and dying, Haze, but there was a very famous book by a woman named Elizabeth Kubler Ross more than two decades ago that first gave names to the stages of grief, which she may have listed in a different order from the way I list them here:
Sadness/depression - self-explanatory
Anger - ditto
Bargaining - thoughts like "Maybe if I take good enough care of her and make sure she sees this doctor, she won't die."
Denial - denying that someone is as sick as she/he really is or wondering if perhaps they didn't really die
Acceptance - where finally you feel at peace
People who are dying and people who have lost loved ones go in and out of these phases at different times during the grief process. Actually, people who are divorcing or going through other types of losses experience these stages, too.
Anger like you're having today is just natural and expected. You just have to make sure you don't take it out on others who don't deserve that anger. But you do have to go though that and feel it, just like you have to feel and express the depression and sadness, too. It's even natural to feel angry at times with the person who's dying or has died.
The good things about these phases is that they change, so you don't usually stick in one too long. Eventually, if you allow yourself to move through the other phases, you reach acceptance and mostly stay there, but you still feel sadness periodically, too. I'm trying to keep this all in mind as we deal with my sister's terminal illness, too, as is she.
damn
that explains it
im gonna go hit my punching bag
man
i cant fucking stand it
i miss him so much
im so fucking pissed off man
wtf did this happen for
he never committe a crime except the occasional 130 in a 55
i mean dick cheney has had 4 massive heart attacks
jesus fuckingc christ
im done with life
good bye
Ma nish ta na darlin.Quote:
Originally Posted by da haze meister
You are more then welcome my little mensch. (hee hee hee)
I hope this day has been just a little bit gentler on you and yours.
Ima gonna say it again in case you missed it in your sorrow. I'm here anytime you want to talk to somebody who went thru this same tragedy years before you. ok?
I saw earlier that you had the black button/ribbon on, you have torn it by now yes? Make sure you save it. Get a small box for "that stuff" like the kepah, ribbon,,,,,,etc.
Then, this is hard but, go to his closet and pick out something that you will still have years later when your settled down with your own family. A favorite shirt, sweater, vest, pullover and then pick out, with your mom and brother, the piece of jewlery you going to keep and pass down. Watch, ring, cufflinks...if he has an office, that's the next place to pick a memory.
You understand where I'm going? These are things that will be passed from gen to gen. ok? Take your time on this ok sweetie?
Remember....if you ever need me......just say so. (that goes for Jay too)
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
Kimmy
Quote:
Originally Posted by da haze meister
It's ok Haze. There are stages.
Right now you are at the anger stage.
It's perfectly "normal".
@----->---
No hon.........You're not done.Quote:
Originally Posted by da haze meister
You know that.
I know how hard it is. I've been through what you are going through and I STILL AM going through it.
It doesn't stop overnight.
This is the single hardest thing you will ever have to face. (At least til you become a parent)
I wish I could help........................:(
who cares.
shut the fuck up you bitch made douchebag.Quote:
Originally Posted by mojoke
there got that out.
NICE.Quote:
Originally Posted by JayW
you have my condolences,
good to see things are gettinga bit better
stay strong
Shame shame SHAME ON YOU!!!:mad:Quote:
Originally Posted by mojoke
How effing dare you?:mad:
I CARE!!
Ps. you should be banned for that. The charge? Being an uncaring buttwipe.IMO
Quote:
Originally Posted by da haze meister
Don't worry yourself with dreck honey.
Many many people care.
Don't ever forget that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayW
How are you doing today Jay?
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
Quote:
Originally Posted by go toke up
That's Hazes brother and he's in pain too right now.
That nasty comment hurt him too.:(
Consider the situation~~~~~
should try and get a girlfriend or something Haze, imo you basically have to ignore the pain and just basically accept it.........a new girlfriend or a new job or anything will help take your mind off of things
Im sorry for your loss
after browsing this thread it just occured to me how much this site really is like a community
and mojoke...if you didnt care you shouldnt have posted, how would you feel if your dad died and someone was like man...who cares? i dont know what you would do but i would deffinently give them a roundhouse kick to the teeth
how was that a nasty comment?Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsie roll
Quote:
Originally Posted by go toke up
Oh, not yours hon. I'm sorry if you thought that.:(
I was talking about that "Mojoke" poster. That is what got Jay upset.
Thats all I meant. :thumbsup:
Did you see my post to you on another thread about Bevis and Butthead?
yeah. oh well its all good. :stoned:Quote:
Originally Posted by tootsie roll
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3rdEyeVision
There is no possible way to ignore the pain. Believe me.
BUT, the rest of your post is excellent! Now is the time to get a job or a steady girlfriend. Or both.
Quote:
Originally Posted by go toke up
Cool.
And next time I'm your way visiting the zoo I'll holler "go toke up"!:thumbsup:
anyway... after shiva is over i am calling the caddymaster at a country club and starting there... it kicks the shit outta bagging groceries and i am good at it... dad taught me all about it
I don't think I've said this yet:
I'm really sorry Dahaze, I hope this experiance hasn't been too traumatic for you. Keep on keepin on. :thumbsup:
thanks yoQuote:
Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue
thanks alot
im tryin man
and my mom just said that after the 7 days ill be allowed to blaze
:)
she said she even might too
she got bad arthritis
Good shit bro, keep focusing on the positives right now.Quote:
Originally Posted by da haze meister
trying to manQuote:
Originally Posted by Reefer Rogue
i miss my father
but i love him sooo much
he was a great guy
holy shit ij ust found out something weird
ok see if you can keep up... my mothers sister (aunt) lives in jersey and works in a school district up there... ok so when she had to come down here a school wide email went out explaining that her brother in law michael (insert last name here) died in (insert town here ((i like my privacy))) and a woman that works in that school... her daughter lives in the same city we do... and she had a baby at 11:00 thursday july 13th... same time my father died... named michael.. same english name as my dad... hebrew name chaim... same hebrew name as my dad. thats weird right ther. my father was reincarnated.
please dont take offence but for someone who just lost their father you shouldnt make jokes about another guys dad, its a bit iffy to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by JayW
I kinda need to agree, seems a bit cold if you ask me.Quote:
Originally Posted by robert42
Maybe even a little too cold.:confused:
i lost my father, and then when i finally got a step dad 5 years later he died.
life is full of tests - its how you react to these test that show the character you are.
That IS something, isn't it? Kinda reassuring, too. Life goes out, but new life comes in at the same time. The cycle of life. Be interesting to see what that baby grows up to be like, won't it?Quote:
Originally Posted by da haze meister
When the grandmother that I was closest to died a little over 20 years ago, I was very pregnant with my son. His soon-to-be arrival was one of the family events that helped to serve as a distraction to the grief. I could have done without all the hundreds of distant relatives touching my stomach at the funeral, but they seemed to find reassurance in the idea that life was replacing itself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by da haze meister
That's beautiful. Both the newsletter and the baby.
When my brother and his friends hold Kaddish, I'll ask they include your dad in Prayer.
thanks alotQuote:
Originally Posted by tootsie roll
Anytime hon.Quote:
Originally Posted by da haze meister
:)
I'm off to bed. I'll remember you and yours in my prayers.
................and pumpkins dogbaby Dylan.
today im just generally fucking pissed and annoyed
one more day till shiva is over
Hang in there haze..........
ay man im tryin my best
lots of people are here for me
even this girl i kinda like... she lost her father a few years ago
i like this support