right on, man!! :)
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right on, man!! :)
alright, i have no clue if i read all this right or not but if you an ur boyfriend robbed a bank ur basicaly fucked. i dun know bout round there but here to go in a bank u cant wear a hat or sunglasses or ull get thrown out really damn quick. theres shit loads of cameras an whitnesses at a bank usualy. next time try a liquor store, theyre easier.
probation sux dont it??? i been there fer over three years but jus recently got off
how old ya??
peace n bagz
kronik
ok, im sorry fer postin again an like i said i dont know if i read it right, but armed robbery iz a lil too serious of a charge to jus go to a lil group home er boot camp in tha states or at least in cali. if you live here ull prolly end up in a YA er somethin
Holy, 52 posts. You have alot of places to stay cheech.
Cheech Get the fuck away from him he's no good.
lol there both as bad as each other jsu that shes makin out shes the goody too shoes :)
textbook victim statement. You're not scared of LOSING him, you're scared to be on your own. it may sound strange to everybody but you, cheeched, but in your own way you need him. you've got too much love in you for this guy, and he doesn't deserve any part of you...if he can't respect you enough to control his voice, or his drinking, or any other aspect of his life, how far is he really gonna get in life? would you be okay with taking a night-shift factory job so he can have beer to drink while he sits on his ass at home? (it may be extreme, but I'd be willing to bet that's where he's headed). take a good long look at yourself, and ask when you've had enough? will it be the next time he yells at you? the next time he uses you as an accessory to robbery? when he starts to beat you, will you think its because you don't love him enough?Quote:
I dont know why I love him, I question that often...but, I do...and it hurts to think of m not being with him It makes me incredibly sad. Hes become my best friend...and Im scared of loosing him...
I may sound condescending and cruel, and I might not know your situation...but seeing as how you only have bad things to say about him (and his own family feels that way too) its time to realize that no matter how much you love him, he's not going to change.
and don't be afraid to ask for help...99% of men will gladly protect a pretty young girl from her aggressive drunken boyfriend...I know I would.
Cheeched, like Ammie said, been there done that...in fact I was 17 at the time, too. Is he older than you? It sounds like he's using his postion in your life to control you...that is not love, that is ownership. You have to get him out of your life. End of story. You think you love him, but you know what, you've made him the center of your life and now you feel like you don't know what you'd do without him. Guess what? You can do plenty without him, you had a life before you met him and you will again afterwards.
I know how it feels to be really scared of someone. You think that staying is just easier because it keeps the peace for a while and you're out of danger. But you're not, the longer you stay, the worse it will get. Trust me on this. It sounds like he is trying to keep you from your friends, next it will be your family. This is the beginning of him trying to isolate you. Next will come the hitting, I promise you, he will hit you next. It may start with pushing or shoving or grabbing your arm...but soon it will lead to bruising, mark my words.
I would say definitely DO NOT tell him anything. Don't tell him about counseling, or that you're thinking of leaving him. You do not want to provoke him. When you've gotten some help, tell your friends and family that you are going to break up with him and do it. Do not do it by yourself. I know this sounds like a shitty way to break up with someone but I had to break up with my crazy ex over the phone! While he was away at boot camp. That way I knew he couldn't come and get me or whatever, cuz he would have if he was in town. Cheech, if I didn't break up with him when I did I garuantee I would be dead by now.
This post will turn into a novel if I tell you more but trust me, things will get worse if you stay. Don't listen to his bullshit, "I love yous." either, cuz that is all crappola. If he yells at you or hits you and then turns around and buys you a gift, don't accept it. Make a plan to get him out of your life and follow through with it. Make it a clean and simple break and do not see after it's over. Once it's over, keep it that way. Do not meet him "just to talk" or any of that. He will do everything he can to weasel his way back into your life. Be strong and don't let him near you.
I wrote a poem about how I felt when I was with him...but I don't remember which one it is. Lulu knows what it is, if she sees this, maybe she can put the link in here so you can read it and know that I understand exactly how you feel right now.
Keep in touch and I'll help you out however I can: [email protected]..
Agreed...it's called "the comfy slippers senario"...Quote:
Originally Posted by DrGonzo
You believe (subconsciously) that you cannot survive without him. The thought of chage scares the shit out of you, because you have been made to believe that anything other than that which you know (no matter how abhorrent (ie, abuse, neglect, mental or physical)) is quite unattainable.
I know some people (mainly women) who have managed to break from their 'prison', and only after much discussion and revelation to the facts do they now see how 'trapped' they were by their own minds.
It's not easy for you to see this, Cheeched, but I shit you not - the only restriction to your options is you.
(http://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/905446)
THE COMFY SLIPPERS SCENARIO
A person becomes dependant on their way of life, as the notion of being alone and starting a new life is too daunting to contemplate. They accept and adopt this scenario, believing that anything else would be detrimental to themselves and their existence. The 'comfy slippers scenario' offers a security and familiarity that they have committed themselves to, which gives way to guilt and compassion. Furthermore, this long-term relationship's non-communicative nature indicates that resolution is an arduous task.
However, this pattern can manifest itself in short-term relationships also. In particular, when that 'routine' is so embedded into that person's psyche, that they feel alienation from any other scenario. Eventually, they fall back into the cycle of regression that they grew accustomed to before, endlessly repeating itself until it becomes the accepted norm.
Examples of these patterns are evident especially in cases of domestic abuse. The victim (usually female) stays within that violent environment, due to the suppression of their individuality and sense of independence. They can embrace a "better the devil you know" mentality, because of fear of the unknown.
Moreover, this phenomenon is apparent within non-violent marriages.
Over time, the love has simply dissolved and one (or both) partners have exhausted all attempts at reconciliation. Again, change seems daunting and unfamiliar, but the pattern is already set and the unhappy person wears the 'comfy slippers'.
Of course, it's one thing 'knowing' the problem...it's an entirely different thing to go about changing it.
"You just gotta make up your own damn mind"..The Oracle, Matrix.
http://boards.cannabis.com/showthread.php?t=1667Quote:
Originally Posted by maryjanemama
Btw, great post Maryjane ;)