[quote=graph]Nope. You can never quit. Marijuana is more addictive than cocaine and heroin put together, or as I like to call it, coceroin.
[QUOTE]
Thats some funny shit
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[quote=graph]Nope. You can never quit. Marijuana is more addictive than cocaine and heroin put together, or as I like to call it, coceroin.
[QUOTE]
Thats some funny shit
hes got problems and hes stressed thats why hes smoking cannabis. Cannabis was not the source of it alone
Well I guess I'll be the only one here to admit that weed can in fact be a problem, and it would not necessarily be a bad idea for him to quit.
Speculation as to underlying causes of these problems is relevant. They might go alot deeper than just weed, but smoking can only excacerbate them. Of course it can be addictive, of course you can get a weed hangover, of course it can undermine motivation. Just because many of us may or may not experience any or all of these negatives does not mean they not a reality for some smokers. We don't know the whole story, we don't know how much he's smoking, we don't know what else is going on in their lives, don't know the guy. And I for one won't pretend to. It ultimately might be a good idea to quit, but if so, it's going to be HIM deciding it, and no amount of work by his gf is going to convince him (beyond initial efforts or just).
I have had some wonderful advice on here from you all and I am truly thankful for that.
He's had a few smoke free days which were wonderful and he said he felt on top of the world. Then his mates asked him out so we have agreed that he's not going to quit, but will make it a habit he only does with his mates. That way there is less stress on us.
He can go out as often as he wants.........if that means I only see him once a week (when he's not stoned) then so be it. Cos when he is stoned he pushes me away. End of.
I guess the weed will effect everybody differently but either he's a great actor or it does kill his libido.........as when he hasn't smoked he's so HOT!
If I were to email this link to him for him to read.........what advice would you give him? Of the serious sort, not "try some coke" or whatever!
Thanks for all your positive views, and even those not so positive, I really appreciate the honesty. Obviously I care about him else I wouldn't have gone to all this effort to get educated and try to understand his point!
I know loads of you have said it seems like he doesn't care...........but I want to work at this relationship, as he is all I've waited for.......and he says the same of me. So, if that means we spend a few nights a week apart, while he is getting in a mess (and would only be hurting me if he's here) and I can enjoy the other times we are together, then it's my problem to work at dealing with that and not allowing it to be a problem.
However, if I see less and less effort coming from him then maybe you are right, and I should quit the relationship. I can't hold it together single handedly. I do feel it is worth trying to work at for a while longer, else I will look back at something I have thrown away without a second glance, and have so many regrets about a wonderful guy who just needs to get his head together.................
graph this is wonderful... im sig'ing it... it rlly is true and explains everythingQuote:
Originally Posted by graph
Hey,
I rekon your boyfreidn is using weed as a way to deal with certain pressures, speak to him find out whats on his mind. Anxeity is a huge libido problem so he might be smoking to rid his anxiety which i wouldnt say is using weed but abusing it.
Weed aint a miracle drug it wont get rid of your problem no drug will, only YOU can.
Limit his smoking, a very good thing to do would be make a cut off time like he can't smoke till 6pm. Cos if he's waking up and smoking then he's probly gonna spend the rest of the day monged out on your sofa.
Do something differant with him every week, go away together, find a mutual hobbie you BOTH enjoy!
Let us know how things go thought,
All the best
Thanks for all of the positivety I have had here. As you asked to let us know how things are going, I will send this post as the latest update.............
I am emailing my boyfriend the link to this thread and going to let him read and digest. This is at the risk of loosing him forever.....he may think that I shouldn't vent this in public. I think that I am trying to gain some knowledge on a subject I am very naive about. Trying to understand some of the difficulties he may be facing with trying to quit. Trying to understand why he puts this addiction before me time and time again.
We are right at the point of breaking. He broke my heart again tonight by going AWOL ...........not just my heart, but my children's too who miss him. They were looking forward to telling him about thier first day back at school.
I have to draw a line somewhere and decide that I will not allow myself to be treated as second best 90% of the time. How will I ever know if he really wants me when he puts his addiction before me so often? I deserve the man who I fell in love with.........so I will write this......
Babe, you came into my life which was already wonderful........you put the icing on top of the cake. My world was complete.......my soul mate, my lover, my best friend.
Then it almost came crashing down when you told me about the pot. But I knew there were worse things you could do and I decided to support you in the best way I could, by enhancing the life you wanted; with me and the pot.
But time and again you let me down.........I deserve more.
You say it's ruining your life, that you don't want to loose me, you don't want to be depressed anymore. Then TAKE control. Do something. I will support you 100% . I promise......
What about the plans we had??? Is it worth throwing it all away?
"If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world"
I'm fed up of constantly watching for your car to pull up. If you want me, you will be with me. Full stop.
I love you more than I have loved anyone. But my feelings don't count,. I have to put the children first always......and I am turning into someone who's getting depressed and loosing a grip on life. My friends are fed up with me being miserable. Just a few short weeks ago you made me so happy. YOU did.
I have to get my life back. I have to get ME back. I wish I could make you come back babe but only you can do that. Only you can get your life back on track. Only you.
Pot doesn't ruin everyone's lives. Most of your friends are still decent and keep thier wives happy.
Always.......................xx
Again, thanks to everyone who has contributed in a positive way to this post. Even though some of you have said "dump him he's a loser" I still appreciate the time and effort you have taken.
I don't want to give up on this wonderful man as he does have so much to offer when he isn't stoned. Even if we do end up going our seperate ways, I will always treasure the wonderful time we have had together and hold it close to my heart as those good times could not be topped.
He really is an amazing guy and one who I really was hoping to spend the rest of my life with.......until my dying day
Hey, thanks for sharing. I was just wondering how things were going with you.
It is too bad to hear that things are not as wonderful as you might have hoped, and obviosly tried to reach. Coming on here to ask for our input is not a betrayal of his trust that should upset him. Rather, it is a positive effort to seek some understanding and knowledge to help you both.
And, were annonymous. A safe place to try to work out a problem.
I respect what you did.
Hopefully he will see it the same way. If not then I would suspect he is not as motivated as you to find some balance in your relationship.
Somehow I missed that there were children involved. This amplifies things quite a bit.
My opinion: As a parent or step parent one cannot be emotionally unavaillable to kids. And as a mother you cannot allow a man in their lives who is. Those kids have to view this man as a wonderful dad or you fail partially as a mother since you chose this man as thier "new daddy" .
If your relationship with him is causing you to be emotionally strained to the point your friends notice a change in you... you can be positive your kids pick up on it more. This is not fair to them.
Please remember my previous posts on this so you know where I am comming from. Im not one who said to dump him etc.
But, with kids involved the pressure for him to make a change and you to make a decision is much greater.
A half assed effort is , in my opinion, simply not acceptable for the children. I feel pretty strongly about things where kids are concerned.
I know first hand what it is like for a child to be raised in a home with an emotionally unavaillable and unreliable step father. Especially for a boy. That is how I grew up. And I am left with some strong resentments for the man, and for my mother for not providing a better father figure simply because she always felt that just around the corner things will get better. 15 years was waaay too long to hang on, and waaay too long to get a fuckin clue.
You said your kids are always #1. I hope they feel that way.
peace, and good luck.
Not sure what you're trying to say but it's wrong in any case. Caffeine is terribly addictive, weed isn't.Quote:
Originally Posted by Billionfold
Regarding the whole weed, libido thing, getting high always made me horny as hell. But, that was when I was high. If I've been out smoking with the boys all day, especially if it was something that was predominantly indica, I'd be burnt at the end of the day and would just want to crash on the couch and watch tv.
Anyhow, since you say this has only been going on for two weeks it sounds like there's more than meets the eye. One doesn't simply become a weed junkie and ruin his life like that. Somethings going on in his life that you're not aware of. Try to get to the bottom of it and, depending on what it is, be there for him or dump him because of it.
Thank you so much.............that really meant so much more than you could imagine. And I know my BF will agree with what you are saying.
Again, thank you