I am an Aries.
I can be hugely affectionate and purr like thunder (fire signs do it the loudest)- but only when suits me. As a child, I liked to hunt and slaughter rolled-up socks. I prefer to sleep outside.
Taurus is a classic: lazy, sensuious, independent and obstinate. Taurus likes to watch others sandwiches as it travels between their plate and their mouth. Taurus understands that beauty is only skin deep.
Gemini are the dancers and acrobats of the world. Their sudden, gravity-defying movements (backflips, somersaults, vertical leaps from all fours). They are not team players.
You never know quite what to expect from a Cancer. They're always glaring at you from the corner of the room. They're attracted to mother figures - prone to infantile behavior (kneading and sucking).
Leo has a warm, sunny disposition and a magnetic personality. They have a flair for the dramatic - a Leo who wants a second breakfast falls across your feet and looks up at you plaintively (Oliver Twist at the orphanage rendition). A Leo is too dignified to play with toys - they watch with an air of benevolent disinterest while the others indulge.
If you want something done, don't hesitate to ask a Virgo. They fertilize the garden (in good weather, they abandon their indoor bathroom altogether). Virgo takes play seriously.
Charm is Libra's whole way of life. They sit patiently at the window, watching for your return. They need to believe that you are constantly thinking of them.
Most likely to develop a stubborn obsession, great love, or lasting aversion is a Scorpio. They behave obsessively around food- gorging on pizza, or lying on the floor with their head in a food bowl, or on the sofa in a black slip, eating chocolates. They dislike being fondled, picked up, or addressed in baby-talk.
Ruled by expansive Jupiter, Sagittarians take great pleasure in cultivating a wide circle of friends- including everyone from your sister's dog to the nice man who delivered flyers last week. They can stand up at the table, watch you eat, place their hand in yours, and wrap both arms around your neck. They are candid and tactless (but friendly).
Ambitious and circumspect, Capricorns crave power and prestige and know how to get them: careful planning followed by aggressive action. They like to sleep with their front-ends facing one way and their back-ends facing the other, just to confuse you. Capricorns want more out of life, and go at things with extra drive.
Aquarians are cool, aloof, and impersonal. They keep a file on you. Aquarians gravitate to crowds (not because they're friendly but because they get to check out a lot of people all at once).
And, Pisces. Pisces and Aries are adjacent signs, yet they couldn't have less in common. Pisces senses your feelings, reflects your mood, and offers you comfort when you're feeling blue. They like to stare at walls and corners, but give you a good scolding when you need it. They will disapprove if they catch you feeling sorry for yourself.
