Sorry to lighten to mood, but wow, 1 more post for you :D yay! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by friendowl
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Sorry to lighten to mood, but wow, 1 more post for you :D yay! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by friendowl
Far from bullshittin. I'll post the rest of it tomorrow, I'm kinda fucked up in the head now..lot of problems going on IDK..nothign to do with this thread. I just shouldn't let people know I post on this board is all. IDK I might not even come back to these boards.
Aww man I'd miss you!Quote:
Originally Posted by STDzRus
Hope you can work every little thing out and get yourself back on track ;)
Wow man that sucks im sorry that shit happend to you maybe if you dont want people to find out what happend in your past that you know you personaly and comes to this site that you dont want them seeing maybe you should ask a mod to delete this thread?
WEll uhhh, the other night I just wanted some McDonalds so I asked my mom for gas money, and the dumb bitch told me no!! WTF?!?, I then proceeded to run upstairs throw everything on the ground in rage (including all my trophies, and awards) and spray painted on my wall Im not perfect.Then the dumb bitch along with my meany ass dad decide to come up to my room to see what the racket was.Needless to say when they got to my room I got the WORSE lecture ever.FUCKING BASTARDS WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? Well I told my dad to shut up while the whole time I was thinking to myself I could punch him in the face but I had to settle with shut up because my dads a big dude ya' know? SO then I run down the stairs to get the keys to my 2005 honda civic with installed flow pipes and find that there gone.My mom is now doubled over heels chasing me saying are you looking for these...guess what she's jingling? My fucking keys.So I ran next door had dinner over at there house, which they FUCKING MADE EGGROLLS AND ONLY HAD MILK TO DRINK.Ok I'm lactose and tolerent (sc?) and I don't drink water from the sinnk.So I went home to find my room was clean and my keys were on my bed with a note saying "Were sorry, and we love you".Guess what, thats not it, they even left 500 bucks so me and my bitch could go to the mall.I don't think anyone's ever had it like THAT ^
Institutionalized:
Sometimes i try to do things and it just doesnt work out the way i want it to. and i get real frustrated. and like i try hard to do it and i take my time and it just doesnt work out the way i want it to. its like i concentrate on it real hard and it just doesnt work out and everything i do and everything i try it never turns out. its like, i need time to figure these things out but theres always someone there going "hey mike, you know, weve been noticing youve been having alot of problems lately, you know? you should maybe get away and like maybe you should talk about it, youll feel alot better" i go "no its ok, you know, ill figure it out...just leave me alone, ill figure it out, you know? ill just work it out myself" they go "well, you know, if you want to talk about it, ill be here, you know, and youll probably feel alot better if you talk about it, so why dont you talk about it?" i go "no! i dont want to! im ok! ill figure it out myself!" but they just keep bugging me...they just keep bugging me and it builds up inside!
So you're gonna be institutionalized
You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes
You won't have any say
They'll brainwash you until you see their way.
I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
to give me the needed professional help
to protect me from the enemy...myself
I was in my room and i was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything but then again i was thinking about nothing. and then my mom came in and i didnt even know she was there she called my name and i didnt hear her and then she started screaming "MIKE MIKE!!". i go "what? whats the matter?". she goes "whats the matter with YOU?" i go "theres nothing wrong mom" she goes "dont tell me that! your on drugs!" i go "no mom im not on drugs, im ok, im just thinking, you know? why dont you get me a pepsi?" she goes "no! your on drugs!" i go "mom! im ok, im just thinking!" she goes "no! your not thinking, your on drugs! normal people dont act that way!" i go "mom, just get me a pepsi, please? all i want is a pepsi" and she wouldnt give it to me! all i wanted was a pepsi...just one pepsi and she wouldnt give it to me...just a pepsi!
They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves
Drug you up because they're lazy
It's too much work to help a crazy
I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy...myself
I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up a chair and they sat down, they go "Mike, we need to talk to you" And I go "Okay what's the matter?" They go "Me and your mom have been noticing lately that you've been having a lot of problems, and you've been going off for no reason and we're afraid you're gonna hurt somebody, and we're afraid you're gonna hurt yourself. So we decided that it would be in your best interest if we put you somewhere where you could get the help that you need." And I go "Wait! what are you talking about?? WE decided MY best interest?! How do you know what MY best interest is?? How can you say what MY best interest is? What are you trying to say...I'm crazy?! When I went to your schools, I went to your churches, I went to your institutional learning facilities?! So how can you say I'm crazy?!"
They say they're gonna fix my brain
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I'll be dead
I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized
They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy...myself
It doesn't matter if i get hit by a car anyway...
I ONLY HAVE 5 MINS TO SPARE,I GREW UP HARD,I HAD A DRUCKIN' MOTHER WHO WOULD NEVER CARE ABOUT ME,I WAS ALWAYS MALNUTRIOUS AND NEVER CARED WHAT ANYONE SAID,I ALWAYS LOVED GOING TO SCHOOL CUZ THAT'S WHAT MADE ME HAPPY,I HATED HOME,LIKE THAT SONG FROM THREE DAYS GRACE"HOME",THATS A AWESOME SONG,ALL THE TIME I WOULD THINK OF KILLING MYSELF,BUT STILL I STAYED ABOVE WATER AND STAYED IN THE GAME,I DIDN;T QUIT,I HAD A VERY BAD CHILDHOOH,ACTULLY I NEVER HAD A CHILDHOOD,WITH ALL THE DEALERS I WAS SELLING WEED FOR A SCHOOL,GOT CAUGHT 4 TIMES AND SPENT TIME IN JUVI FOR 4 MOUTHS,OTHER THAN THAT LIVE IS BULLSHIT.PEACE OUT !!SUPPORT LEGALIZATION ON MARIJUANA!!!
If i was your dad I would ahve broken your jaw... It's punks like you that don't know how good you have it that make me sick... I wish I would have had a dad let alone one that gives me money for being an idiot and throwing a baby fit.Quote:
Originally Posted by VoidLivesOn
a shot a my hood from out the window
yeah.. people still live in that tall, burnt building to this day
it's sad but that's the reality of things
And this will be my last post .. just to finish off my story.
So there was this guy in school, I was going to kill him, and everybody in there. I was a stupid kid then, I wrote a letter, and left it in plain sight for everybody to see, I don't know why, maybe I really didn't want to do it. I stayed at my friends house and the next morning, school was closed. They found the letter, and I was on the morning news, they wanted me, so I went home and turned myself in, after disposing of the weapon. They then arrested me and I spent a month in Durango Juvenile Detention Center. I spent a month there and then was released on INTENSIVE PROBATION without release from my home (not ankle bracelet) and like I said, I was a dumb kid, so I ran, and spent the next three days living behind a bong shop neard 43rd Ave and Glendale in PHOENIX ARIZONA, i stayied with my friends during the day and got high and drunk and started robbing people. This is all around the age of 12, I wasn't a druggie or anything, yet, but it was during this three day run that I tried coke. I was standing in my friends backyard, talking on his phone, when an officer walks along and says "MY NAME HERE.." and I freak out..My friends had locked me out of the house to play a joke on me..and fucking bastards wouldn't let me in the house. I kept banging and by the time they opened the door the cops were on my tail, I ran to the front door, and it was locked, deadbolted, with a key, so I gave up.
I spent the next six months in juvenile detention under 4 Felony Charges and 9 misdemeanors (which were dropped) I spent my 13th birthday in jail, and was released into the custody of YDI (a youth development institution for drug and behaviour rehabilitiation) on December 6th.
But first let me release to the world the shit that was spending time in Juvenile Detention. It wasn't as bad as people wouldn't think, until I was confined. The last three months of there I spent in a cell, without a shower, which was inhumane and unlawful.
I was 5'11 and weighed only 98 lbs when I checked in YDI. I reeked of feces and piss because for the past two months I had been pissing into a toilet that was only flushed every once in a while, I had no mat in my room, nothing but cement floors, and I was behind double doors, the only people I had to talk to were others that were confined with me.
I was going nuts, I tried killing myself, hanging myself, cutting myself, anything I could do. I even tried cutting my foot off once because I was so pissed, and thought maybe I would go home.
My dad came once, the first month I was there, and then he stopped coming to visit. Some days I would not be fed, some days I would recieve some food, it was such bullshit, and I could do nothing about it, nor could I do anything about it now, there's no way to prove all this.
So anyways, on to YDI, I graduated after six months successfully and spent my 14-14 3/4 years sober...before toking up again while still on intensive probation. This is when things got really rough. Nearly went back, and If I would've went back I would've been put in Adult Prison for nearly 7-10 years for a pending assault on a peace officer charge for spitting on a LEO in prison, who did not identify himself as one at the time.
So anyways, I got off probation after my PO busted me on my tests and said I just needed to drop a clean test and I would be good. All this while I graduated high school at the age of 15 but had to wait to graduate when I was 16. Don't ask me why, it didn't make sense. I think it's because I didn't want to pursur more education.
So I started hanging around my cousin and his set, toting a pistol around, smoking lots of weed, and soon, the addictions began.
I tried coke..a few times, not really my thing, but I started to like it, and I did it every so often. That wasn't the addiction. I was getting addicted to fighting. Me and my cousin were constantly running around starting shit, getting our asses beat, and beating other peoples asses, just to survive. Then me and him had it going selling weed (age 15 still) , this real nasty brown shwagg we were getting lbs' for 100 and practically giving out zip's at 15-40 dollars, depending on who you were.
Then the time came, I turned 16, moved out of my dad's house, and moved in with my grandma and grandpa, my cousins house got seized by the government and he moved away, so we stopped hanging out as much. I got a badass waiting job making about 500 a week in tips, so I started smoking alot, and stopped selling, as a business, but I would sell occassionally. I was going through a zip a day, and it was wearing me out. Soon, I didn't even feel like I was high, and meth was all around me. TOok my first hit and that was it.
I was on that shit a month, moved out here, and this is my life now.
Goodnight, and goodbye everybody.
well for me, my dad no longer lives with me. in 8th grade i came home at about 12 because i got beat up by 3 kids i went to school with who i hate to this day, they were the typical kids who were just beating up the weird antisocial kid. so meanwhile i came home and my dad was drunk first of all and when he saw that i got beat up he pretty much commenced calling me worthless and beat me up even worse then ended up throwing me out of the house, my mom also wasnt home this weekend so i ended up hitching a ride from one of my friends like two days later downtown to another friends house who was also a coke dealer. well basically this guy got me back on my feet again, fed me, let me sleep at his house, he reassured me that if my dad ever did that again thatd he'd help me himself, i have so much to thank for him, i told my dad about the guy too, after a bit my dad moved out not from that but just moving out. he ended by saying "you actually have seriously problems and that youll never get anywhere in your life because of your social issues.... but if you ever need to talk to someone dont call me." a little bit later too this dude who fed me, housed me, clothed me, and got me going again got arrested for possesion of cocaine. america doesnt reward good samaritans, instead america locks up peaceful drug users and keeps the alcoholics in their homes so they can beat their children whenever they want, my story might not be as bad as anyone elses, but it doesnt matter, were all pulled together here so we can all be thankful that even though we pretty much all have stupid ass shit behind us, we can still talk about it now