You Know You're A Bit Too Drunk When....

My friend moved into a new apartment at the end of last summer with my other friend. This was the first weekend they moved in, and were throwing their first party. He was doing the whole Jack's and red-bull thing all night (I despise this drink...tastes like medicine to me) as well as shots of Jack. Anyway, he was pretty wasted to say the least, needed assistance standing up, the whole nine.

So everyone left except for me and this girl, and my other friend that lived there went to bed. So I'm like, 'where's so and so'...and she's like 'no clue'. So we search the house, and even went outside and down the street a little...he was nowhere to be found. After searching for a while...I decided maybe he left with a girl or went to another party. Me and the girl left and she drove me home.

The next day I call to check up on my friend. What happened was...the place they live has two apartments...my friends live in one, and the prick landlord in the other. My buddy somehow went into the landlords apartment at some point in the night, and passed out on his couch (thinking it was his apartment as the apartments are set up similar) LOL! He said he awoke to the sound of the guy in the shower, and high tailed it out of there when he realized where he was...I remember the landlord knocking on the door a few times to say it was really loud, so if he saw him on the couch...they woulda got the boot for sure...on the second day after moving in hahah. Unbelievable.

You know you're too drunk when you can't get it up. "Too drunk to fuck" syndrome. :p

When you wake up with street signs from another city, and don't quite remeber how, or where you got them from.

You know you're way too drunk when you think smoking a joint will level you out.

You're way too drunk when you're puking, and cursing inbetween barfs, to the fool who ever invented alcohol.

speak of the devil....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by higher4hockey

speak of the devil....

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funny :rolleyes: i was thinking the same thing...

BILLIONFOLD IS A STALKER!!!!!

Another one of my creations. And Hock..I forgot that was you made that post LOL. You are a crazy mothafucka dude....compliment.

OMFG I am LMAO at this thread! I fucking love it!

Or how about this... you know you were too drunk when...

...you threw up out of the window of your friend's car, and it all came right back into the backseat of the car because you didn't lean your head out far enough when you were puking out of a moving vehicle, and then the whole back of your friend's car smelled like corn-chips-and-salsa puke for several months until it got cold out and the perma-puke froze into the door seals, and that's when the pukey smell finally went away too.
...and then, you slept on your friend's living room floor...
...until 5:00am...when you thought you had to puke again, so you walked into the bathroom to use the toilet, and instead, threw up in your mouth on the way to the bathroom, and couldn't quite make it to the toilet, only to within about two feet of the toilet, so that 10% of the puke made it into the toilet and the remaining 90% of the puke was splattered all over the bathroom, necessitating that your friend (who was also drunk, and who had to already clean the puke out of their car while drunk) now get up at the ass-crack of dawn to help you mop, sponge, shower again, and take down the puke-covered shower curtain to put it in the laundy. While hung-over.

Now THAT is a good friend... and that is when you know you were too drunk.

...or how about the time you threw up eight times in the morning, and each time it tasted like a different drink?
...and then had to get on an airplane within the next hour?

...or how about when you peed on the side of a school bus? (Not me, a random guy I saw do it)

...or how about when you climbed the water tower and painted a mural on it? (oooops, different drug... another guy I knew in college)

this first one is from 'when you're playing beer pong naked and you drink your own piss (didnt happen to me but a friend of mine)'

the second one is a buddy of mine, he had just kicked a fifth of that silver label captain morgan shit.

i have a thousand pictures of yours truly totally bombed. but my computer isnt recognizing my digi cam, and i dont have a scanner.

OMG I forgot to tell you about my bachelorette party.

You KNOW you are too drunk when...

...you have the following drinks all in one night:
1 redheaded slut
1 beer
4 glasses of sangria
2 glasses of chardonnay
5 tequila shots (in the space of an hour)
...that's 14 drinks...
...when you are a 140-pound female.

I was still drunk when I went to Starbucks the next morning! Not hungover... still *drunk*. Everyone stared at me as I ordered my coffee. My skin was ashen. I looked like a zombie, like the walking dead. Then I had a hangover for three days. No joke... three days.

And the only reason I didn't die was that when all of my friends went to bed I realized that I should throw up a LOT first so that I didn't stop breathing or asphyxiate on my own vomitus during my sleep. It was so horrible.

...when you borrow wheelchairs from the hospital and race them up and down the hospital tunnels...even though you can't even walk straight and have no idea how to properly steer a wheelchair even while sober...

...when you piss yourself and have to be *told* that you just pissed yourself, otherwise you never would have known (guy I saw at the bar one night...rumor has it, it happened again at that same bar a few months later, to another guy - messed up place)

...when you have to ask your best friend if jumping into a hot tub naked with 15 guys (im a chick) is a good idea...

(true story- second time i ever smoked weed too btw and was wasted off my ass to boot)