Curious about sex....

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Originally Posted by GHoSToKeR

but I also don't think that you need to prove to people that you love someone and want to spend your life with them, if that's really how you feel. Especially not by means of some outdated religious ceromony. But hey, that's just me... and i'm 18; i'll probably feel differently in a few years.

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Marriage has legal protections which is a big reason as well why people get married. A big part of it is the expression of love and commitment, tradition also.
I feel safer being legally married to my spouse than I would if we just lived together, whether that be til death do us part, or him skipping town on me. But the willing to commit on both of our parts under the law I think is an expression of love and commitment you can't really duplicate or imitate. Surely some people dont take the act of marriage seriously, but that doesn't make marriage something for fools, just because any fool can get married.

And our ceremony wasn't religious. :)

Wow, this thread has evolved into a discussion that's pretty interesting. Not that the sexy part wasn't interesting... ah, y'all know what I mean, lol!

I'm 28, & happily single. But when I was 19, I got married (yes, I know... wtF was I thinking). I've always been very mature for my age, & I thought I knew what I wanted. In retrospect, I think I may have just wanted the feeling of connection so much, & to make a change in my life. Not that I needed to... I was in school & doing ok, I just figured that it would give me life this dynamic sense of purpose, & the idea of such a commitment seemed so amazing to me.

We eloped, & I remember standing in front of the JP saying the vows, being absolutely *terrified*. I hadn't been before, but as I stood there I realized the full impact of what I was doing. My tears weren't just happy tears, but more like 'OMG wow, what am I signing up for here?' The marriage didn't last very long, & we had no kids or anything, so we haven't talked in years. Nothing awful happened, no abuse or cheating, I just felt completely stifled, trapped, & depressed, & so I had to be on my own. Telling him I wanted a divorce remains the hardest thing I've ever done, the toughest decision. He was really devastated, & yet I *had* to make that decision for myself in order to live the life I wanted.

Now, 9 years later (wow), I feel so different. I wonder if maybe I'm not meant to walk my path alone. And most of the time, that possibility doesn't seem scary or bad to me. Now that I realize what it means to truly share your life with another, I'm much more cautious about venturing into such things. Not bitter at all, just realistic. So if alone is the way for me, I feel at peace with that.

But yes, a part of me would love to have a companion to be with. Someone very positive, with a sense of spirituality, to play with, talk with, & just share experiences with. I know now how I am in relationships, & feel so light now that I've worked through my issues... I realize the sort of person I would really work best with, & realize all that I have to offer another person. At this point, I'm so content being on my own that I might do well with someone who travels a lot. Then I could have the best of both worlds, lol... cozy reunions & sense of continuity, but still my quiet evenings alone with a bowl, a book, & a bath.

But as far as marriage, yes, I would do it again, if the right person & time come into my life. I would just be very certain I knew myself & my mate extremely well, & would make it a very magical, personal experience. I understand the fears & reluctance regarding marriage, but I think that if done in an authentic spirit, it could be a very beautiful thing.

Wow, I really rambled there. Sorry 'bout that. :)

god lord! I just became a member not 5 minutes ago, and I already got my 25$ worth. HOT DAMN

Hiya Spores! Glad we could entertain ;) More to come...I am sure!

Damn Irie where you been.....nice to see you....:)

hey likemclever what part of oklahoma are you from??? and irie,..... liked the post lol

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Originally Posted by likemclever

Damn Irie where you been.....nice to see you....:)

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I'm here, likem....been working my ASS off at new biz...been very busy with work...but that's a good thing!!! I've paid off our trip to Jamaica in March!!! How have YOU been????

Hello members old and new ....

Yes, we have had some provocative threads in the cafe .... we have experienced alot of things in life ..... very good and very bad...... and we are very opinionated. The hard lessons of life are meant to be shared ...... and laughed at, just a little.