Your stance on cheating ...

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Originally Posted by blazed_babe

i'm glad that you guys were able to talk everything out and come to a realization about things :) how did that go? was it ok in person or would you have rather done it on the phone? when you guys met up did he already kind of know what was coming? (lol sorry for all the questions, just curious, from what we talked about earlier :) )

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don't be sorry at all, i like talking about these sort of things because off of cannabis.com i never talk about my problems, and on here i actually get to get stuff on my chest.
i was really happy i talked to him in person. he knew what was comming because i had told him i had spent the night with my ex boyfriend, he wasnt too upset by it -prolly because he doesnt care about me that much-
we did come to a realazation about things, we needed to communicate a lot mroe about what was going on. he didnt no that i was upset with him at all, i am the type to just act like everything is all good, and than out of no where blow up. I was being kind of dramatic with him because for the past year i have known him he has hurt me so bad and didnt even know it.
I also realized that he really isnt good for me and I'm happy I'm going to move on, he is too close minded for me - he even admited to looking down on me for not going to college and for hanging out with some of the people i do -
he also said something i couldn't imagine someone saying --- when i discussed him getting me pregnant and leaving me out of no where last year (WHICH I FIANLLY TOLD HIM KILLED ME INSIDE) he said "well u were just a piece of ass to me, it wasnt serious, i didnt know i should have been there for u during that" like wow ... we had been having sex for 2 months when this shit happened, he tucked his dick between his legs and ran like a little boy. even when i explained to him that it wasnt serious, it should have gotten more serious when that happened he stll didnt get it.
you were right about doing it in person, on the phone, i felt like we could understand each other more by seeing each others reactions to things, body language can tell you more than words can sometimes. plus it showed me that he at least cared enough to meet up and talk to me.
thanks for talking -- or posting -- to me abot this blazedbabe, i feel cleansed talking about it.

i really need to do it with my friends and boyfriends though. I dont know how i always expected people to fix things, when i didnt even tell them they were going anything wrong
sorry about the length - agian, im on a posting rampage today - need a more interesting job

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

I have very mixed feelings on wheather or not cheating is okay. I feel like it is ok if there are no feelings involved with it, and that as long as at the end of the day you still go back to the person you are cheating on.
I always said that I would never cheat on someone because I thought that it meant you didn't have strong feelings for them, or you were lacking something in the realtionship.
But then this weekend I cheated. On friday my boyfriend dropped me off at a train station where I missed my train. Earlier that day my friend who I havent seen in ahwile called me n was like come down town. So since I already was I called n asked if I could sleep over. He said it was fine and met me there. I was upset because my bf never called to see if I was ok or anything, just a nice young girl in a train station in the city w. a large amount of homeless crack heads at 12 30 at night, really safe right? so we were just drinking and one thing led to another and we fucked.
I feel terrible but at the same time it was just one night where I got caught up in the moment.
Should I tell him? I have no feelings for this guy ... I'm really confused.

edit: I love that I can tell everyone on here, and not my friends. This site is so helpful, w. out it things would eat me alive.

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sleepovers were always fun in high school.:D ahh, the memories.

and umm.. i really don't know what to tell you... cheating is wrong.
you are wasting his time, and he's wasting yours....
but i think high school, college "relationships" aren't really important anyway... it's really just expierementing.
I will make sure to let my partner know that I have a VERY strong sexual drive and that she should be ready for that.
yea, i'm not going to go look for another girl if she doesn't feel like having sex a couple of times but in general...you're with that person for a reason....you two should be "pleasing" each other...
if not, just live life single.....that's fine too

but as far as sex with someone at a house, drunk.....there's nothing wrong with that... it's freaking natural... as long as you don't make it a habit.


i can't wait to tap into my social and sexual skills again:)
until then imma just keep working out and getting ready....

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Originally Posted by birdgirl73

You mean cheating within the context of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and not in marriage, right? Please tell me that's what you mean.

Frankly, if people are in a committed relationship, whether it's girlfriend-boyfriend or engaged or married couples, they ought not to cheat. If they want to be with other people, they need to do the right thing by their partner/spouse and get out of the previous relationship first. Cheating is hurtful and destructive and also dangerous from a disease standpoint.

Cheating is bad mojo. In relationships. In school. On taxes. Everyplace I can think of!

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cheating is bad mojo........I LOVE that, I like the way you put that birdgirl.

FREE BIRD.............................................. ............................................
.................................................. .................................................. ......
.................................................. .........................free

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

when i discussed him getting me pregnant and leaving me out of no where last year (WHICH I FIANLLY TOLD HIM KILLED ME INSIDE) he said "well u were just a piece of ass to me, it wasnt serious, i didnt know i should have been there for u during that" like wow ... we had been having sex for 2 months when this shit happened, he tucked his dick between his legs and ran like a little boy. even when i explained to him that it wasnt serious, it should have gotten more serious when that happened he stll didnt get it.

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ohh boy...you just opened a whole new can of issues....lol

So did you have the kid? You really should not expect a guy to "make it more serious" just because you have a kid together. You can't force love, and being in a love-less relationship is far more physiological damaging for the kid than being separated and happy, (I'm a good example ;)). You can blame him all you want for "not doing the right thing" as they say, but really you have ultimate control over getting pregnant so if you are not in a committed relationship, (aka married), you shouldn't even think about having kids. I'm not just talking about abortion, I'm talking about birth control, USE IT FOR GOD'S SAKE!! Women have far more options when it comes to birth control than men do, all we have is a rubber that is one of the least effective forms of birth control out there.

Getting a therapist would be beneficial to you, but seriously you need Leykis 101. To many it is nothing more than some rich shock jock on the radio, but honestly he talks about issues like you are going through EVERYDAY and you could really learn a lot. I don't think the show is on any Canadian radio stations, last I remember the Canadian government deemed his show improper or something and kicked him off a station in Vancouver. But thanks to the internet, you can still listen while you are surfing around the net, (but of course if you are a college chick, you probably don't do that nearly as much as I haha)

Just listen, the show might piss you off at first because it's taken from a man's perspective, but it really is a show you should hear as often as you can.

Click this link below, and to listen online simply click on the Listen Live button up at the top right of the website:
BlowMeUpTom.com
Tom Leykis is on from 3pm-8pm, Monday-Friday, the rest of the time it'll be whatever other show is on 97.1 in Los Angeles.

Sorry to sound like an advertisement, but I wouldn't mention it if I didn't think it would help you, plus it's a funny show too, especially on Flash Fridays ;)

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Originally Posted by 420MissHighTimes420

But its over so....

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The "so..." makes it all worth it.

Hmm I guess since everybody else is, Ill throw my two cents in there seeing as how Im still awake at 6AM..

Coming from somebody that has been cheated on after 4 years of dedication by the person I knew I was going to marry.. Im against it. In fact, thats the only thing that I truly ask of any girlfriend: be faithful, because I sure as fuck will be. If I am going to be in a relationship it is because I seriously care for that person and either am in love with them, or want to fall in love with them. Otherwise it is a waste of time. If I just want some sex, I can go out and pick up any number of girls at any given time, but thats not what interests me personally.

I know Im the minority, but sex is meaningless to me unless I have a serious sense of emotional attachment with that other person. In fact, the only times Ive had sex with somebody I wasnt in love with, was my female friends aunt(I was more than just high and drunk.. its a long story, but I didnt really even come to until the sun was coming up and I realized I had been fucking this woman for 8 hours in the hot tub), and the threesomes I had with my ex and her best friend.

If Im dating somebody, and I have such a small amount of respect for them that I am harboring thoughts of cheating on them, then I obviously dont love them anymore and I would need to break up with them anyways. I would want that same amount of decency. My ex girlfriend has sentenced another man to death sometime in the very distant future because shes a dirty whore of a cheater. I dunno, its not just the ultimate sign of disrespect.. its bad karma too. She is dead to me. If she were to die tomorrow I would be neither happy nor sad. It would make no difference because in my mind and heart she is already dead. He, however, is a much different story.

Anyway, thats my stance.

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Originally Posted by Nailhead

ohh boy...you just opened a whole new can of issues....lol

So did you have the kid? You really should not expect a guy to "make it more serious" just because you have a kid together. You can't force love, and being in a love-less relationship is far more physiological damaging for the kid than being separated and happy, (I'm a good example ;)). You can blame him all you want for "not doing the right thing" as they say, but really you have ultimate control over getting pregnant so if you are not in a committed relationship, (aka married), you shouldn't even think about having kids. I'm not just talking about abortion, I'm talking about birth control, USE IT FOR GOD'S SAKE!! Women have far more options when it comes to birth control than men do, all we have is a rubber that is one of the least effective forms of birth control out there.

Getting a therapist would be beneficial to you, but seriously you need Leykis 101. To many it is nothing more than some rich shock jock on the radio, but honestly he talks about issues like you are going through EVERYDAY and you could really learn a lot. I don't think the show is on any Canadian radio stations, last I remember the Canadian government deemed his show improper or something and kicked him off a station in Vancouver. But thanks to the internet, you can still listen while you are surfing around the net, (but of course if you are a college chick, you probably don't do that nearly as much as I haha)

Just listen, the show might piss you off at first because it's taken from a man's perspective, but it really is a show you should hear as often as you can.

Click this link below, and to listen online simply click on the Listen Live button up at the top right of the website:
BlowMeUpTom.com
Tom Leykis is on from 3pm-8pm, Monday-Friday, the rest of the time it'll be whatever other show is on 97.1 in Los Angeles.

Sorry to sound like an advertisement, but I wouldn't mention it if I didn't think it would help you, plus it's a funny show too, especially on Flash Fridays ;)

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I don't want to sound defensive butt...... we used a condum and I didnt feel it break ... he did though. He admitted to it. I was like wooaahhh im wet, o wait no, oh shit. he's like opps i knew it broke, that was so intense. And yeah i had an abortion, i payed for it myself, and went by myself to get it.
Also I'm not from canada, and I'm not a college student. ... im a young perfessional lol, I'm 18 but i live on my own and have a job.

And yeah I shouldn't have expected the relationship to get serious, but that was a realllyyyyyy hard thing for me to go through, especially alone.
I didnt tell any of my friends bc my reputation was shitty in highschool, and I didnt need abortion on my list of reasons to call me a whore.

^oh and thanks for the radio stuff... ill tune in when im out of work

And I want to let you all know, I have been unbeliveable stressed out bc of this, and I totally learned my lesson, and I'm never going to do it agian. It was fucked up, and so stupid. Cheating isnt worth it in the least!