are you joking? i know at least 5 girls offhand who doQuote:
Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
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are you joking? i know at least 5 girls offhand who doQuote:
Originally Posted by slipknotpsycho
Dude, you're cock smelled anyways, spit isn't SOAP! Farking jerk, and stupid to boot!!Quote:
Originally Posted by dkeltz
:jointsmile: Bree
Jus wait til he experiences a queef, you gonna have her lick herself clean too?? HA AH
funny thread...
I cant remember when it was but back when i was 21 or 22 i picked up this fat skeeze at a bar down in VA Beach. When i say fat i mean like 250-300 pounds of woman. I was drunk as all hell,like 4 Long Islands,a bunch of rolling rocks and a double shot of tequila when i first got in the door i was beyond the point of careing as long as i got off. Me and a friend of mine went back to this skanks place with her,buddy drove since he wasnt as drunk. He bitched but went anyway. We 3 hung out at her place a while,i was starting to sober out a bit,well mabey not but the memories are clearer at her place than the bar,thats when i started to think about my situation while she was rattling about something i didnt care really to hear about. I looked over at my friend and his ass had fallen asleep in a recliner,i knew we wernt goin anywhere for a while so i started hittin on her hardcore to speed things along. We get to kissin and messin around so i pull it out and she rubs on it for a couple mins then drops down on it. If there is NOTHING else i can say about fat chicks,they can give good head,must strenghten the tongue from eating so much or something. I was gonna try the little reach around thing when i would play w/her a bit but i couldnt reach it from underneth her,between her tits and her fupa i couldnt even get close. After a few mins of that we go back the bedroom,i start rubbing dirty bags on her from behind so there was no way she would try to kiss me w/that mouth,i know some chicks dig it but tasting my own junk is not what im into. I flip turn her around and start suckin on her tits and undoing her pants all the while,i get them down and reach up under the fupa and start playing w/her to get her worked up,she falls back onto the bed after a couple mins of that and i start to go to work on her,this is where the fupa came in handy becouse i couldnt really bend around it enough to get close enough to her have to kiss her so atleast that was good. I worked on her for a while like that for a while then i asked if she would like it from behind i pulled out she flipped over and it took a while but i found the spot. I swear i had to spread ALOT of ass to get in it,now i like a nice ass on a chick but DAMN that was the biggest ass i had ever seen i swear,i literally has to spread the cheeks and stay between them to beat this up. I was slammin it,it didnt feel bad.....but with wiskey dick i just couldnt get there,after a few more mins of that the reached back and grabbed one of her ass cheeks and said do you want some of this,i was like yeah! Well i backed off she went into her bathroom and was in there for a couple mins and came back with some kind of gel or something like that,it smelled like coconuts as she slathered it on my hog leg,then she laid on the bed and spread eagle started to play with herself working the gelly all around her ass and clit area. I move in go for the gold,i start out slowly with short strokes then work up to slow long strokes. Even with wiskey dick i was stoked becouse this was the only the second time i had ever gotten the stink tube and the first time it took me 8 months with a chick to get it so i was startin to get there. I was feeling it coming on and i asked her where she wanted it,strained she said where do you wanna put it,i said i wanted her to taste me. She said something like let me know when you are ready,i dont remember exactly what it was but was apparently ok with her. I pulled out and backed up a bit,she slid down the side of the bed and grabbed it by the shaft and i remember her look up at me for a second and then put the head into her mouth,i knew it the moment that she got a taste of the mud on my helmet,the look she had was of pure disgust but i was so clse it didnt matter she was suckin so good before i knew it i blew,she slowed down the suckin but never stopped,even after i was done. When i loosened up she pulled off and ran to the bathroom and was in there for a bit. I hung out for a few more mins,then went to the kitechen and got water on my way back to the bedroom i kicked my friend to wake his ass up and said lets bounce as i was walkin back to the bedroom. I went back to the bedroom put on the rest of my clothes,she was laying in the bed,she asked if i wanted to stay the night and i cant remember what i told her,it was something like my friend was awake and wanted to go home,so she gave me her number and i told her id call her tomorrow and we could do a movie or something. I walk out and grab my friend who fell back asleep in the chair,we walk out the door,as we are goin off her porch i ball up the paper she gave me with her number on it and drop it.
So thats my one time story of an Ass to Mouth. I wouldnt say it is any kind of fetish or anything, It was oppertunity,and hell why not,its not like i tossed it down her throat,i asked her and she didnt object,ofcourse she probably did it becouse i was the only guy who had probably EVER gave her any attention and wanted to make me happy to keep me but thats not my fault. Im sure she had self esteem issues and what not from being so large and some may say i took advantage of that but fuck it,i threw some charity at her,hell she wasnt even the grenade cause my friend didnt pull anthing at all. All in all it was a good night,got drunk,got some ass,and fucked through the drunk so the hangover wasnt all to bad the next day.
^that is a hella post^
this guy is lying
there is no chick that is gonna suck all of her own shit off a dick. That is fruggin gross. She would have to be the nastiest freak of all time.
Call me a liar if you like,its more common than you think. Ofcourse normally its the really skany bitches that would do it,that bitch was just desperate.
Your exactly right. For a stoner message board there sure are a lot of card carrying ACLU members. I love stirring shit up here. Especially on controversial/hippie topics...Quote:
Originally Posted by HERBZILLA88
BTW, never go ass to mouth. I have never done a girl in the butt, afraid of getting residue on my shaft, and I am kind of a clean freak. Obviously he wasn't serious, only crackheads and pornstars suck dick with residue on it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DryGuy420
No dude. I was calling the original poster a liar. I just read your post (it was very intimidating looking) and I believe you...Great story BTW.
this is bs this guy is 12 years old and just wanted to look cool.. thats pretty gross too im con-anal sex anyways..
HAHA sorry Geo,misunderstood you LOL. Yeah not my finest hour BUT you know how it is when you drink,warm and wet is all that is needed LOL.