that is probably one of the funniest things i've ever readQuote:
Originally Posted by Jahangir 420
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that is probably one of the funniest things i've ever readQuote:
Originally Posted by Jahangir 420
lets see i havent been caught as far as i know
but the strangest place is under my deck outside
its kinda like a danger wank except you hope there
are no cops driving around or
the people in the house next to yours dont decide
to take in the veiw of your house at that particular
moment in time
haha one of the houses my grandpa lives in to so there is a little extra danger right there
Yes I was, I re-wrote it twice. It wasn't cribbed from a website or anything cheap - honest to god true story and wrong in so many ways :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Inferius
Plus a similar thing happened later on in the holiday on a coach (big one with a toilet in) but that's another story ;)
But yes I was high and had a lot of fun writing it, at the time it was pretty bad (I have worse stories though) but looking back its pretty harmless in retrospect :smokin:
LOL cummy the dog
Haha whenever i whack it my dog stares at me so i jizz in his ear so he gets swimmers ear. jk jk i havent been caught yet.
wtf man i hope ur joking. tahts still fucking incest you sick fuckQuote:
Originally Posted by UncleChunky
You are one sick puppy. BUT UR COOL>!>!>!lmao:thumbsup:Quote:
Originally Posted by ludacris420
ROFLMFAO! oral with ur sis? LMAO! do you live 1000miles from neighbors.. i'd sooner put a hole in the earth and fuck it than have a family member sucky my dicky
Holy shit... :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleChunky
in·cest (ĭn'sĕst') pronunciation
n.
1. Sexual relations between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal or forbidden by custom.
this thred went from really funny to kind of iky
i dont think ive been caught
but one time i got so horny on the airplane on a school trip i went and jacked off in the bathroom
never been caught whacking it. but had a friend walk into my room when i was "with company" i was on the bottom and saw him, and he stood there for a while giggling and making faces that was creepy
lmfao. god bless you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Encatuse
LOL. true say...Quote:
Originally Posted by orange floyd
Not me, but my overly horny friend is always jacking off and humping everything.
Say I'll be playing video games and I looked behind me and he is humping a stuffed bear (he laughs and said his Wang was out, fucking perv) I told him if I caught him jacking off behind me I would kick him in the balls.
Well one day he thought he would be funny, so he called me upstairs. When I opened the door he was jerkin it, he started laughing really hard and said something like ??I??m in front of you, har har!?. So I was staying at his house one day watching TV after he fell asleep, and his mom came out wearing nothing but a thong. (Note we were 13 at the time, and i have always sort of had some sexual feelings towards her) I got a boner and she giggled. Anyways she went into the bathroom and I started jacking off. When she came out i stopped.. at least until she was back in her room.
That's why I think she's a milf.. At least I hope-no wish that she is.:D
To this day pretty much everytime i see her, i get hard on. I guess I'm a perv too.:o
Like Lex and Terry would say "Ala.....[B]BAMA[B'Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleChunky
Guess I kinkda fucked that one up. Let me try agan"Ala....BAMA"
I got caught in the service,
banging a chick in the barracks.
Holy shit man! This forum is funny. Okay let me see here...I think my dads caught me a bunch of times while I was at the computer. Even though it was in a different room, he could still see me if he like turned his head enough. Im sure other family members have caught me spankin it, but nobodys brought it up.
Okay now the weirdest place I've jerked it off was on the couch at my friends house when I was 10. It was early in the morning and nobody was awake yet so I figured why the hell not? And I rubbed one out there.
Another place I did it was when I went to visit my sister who lived in a different state. During the nights I was there, I had to bunk with my nephew who was about 9. I was 16 and horny. So while the little dude slept on the floor, I was on his bed and began beating it. Didn't get caught once so HA! I'm amazing :D
p.s. I will now go and smoke a bowl and began jerking off to some stupid shit on tv. Night night people. :thumbsup:
Where else would you do it?Quote:
Originally Posted by mellow mood
the bedroom man hes a weirdo i preffer were everyone can see me (joking)
Once I was in the bahama's with my cousin, mother, and her Fiance. Well we had a 5 room suite and I slept in the living room on the pull out. My mother and her Fiance were in teh bedroom, which was attatched to the bathroom, which was attatched to the kitchen, which was attached to my room, so on so forth. Well I was watching some porn on the TV ( Yea, teh hotel had porn for free ) and my mom walked halfway through the kitchen and I looked over my left shoulder and seen her just standing there, she turned around, and went back to her room, and I finished up.
Weirdest place? Well, the usual in the school bathroom, but theres a twist, our bathroom stalls dont have doors on them for some reason, so I stood like I was pissing and just beat my meat like no otehr
I also worked construction one summer, and wacked off in a porta potty.
haha jesus christ,,, man im pretty sure ive been caught, but no one has said anything,,, and the worst place would have to be one morning when i was drunk and my friends were passed out, i jacked off in my friends laundry room looking at his mom's/sister's thongs...FUCKIN "A"
I nearly my shit myself from laughing when I read that. Fucking legend.Quote:
Originally Posted by ludacris420
I've was caught by my mom when i was about 11. She walked in, took one look, and walked out. She never mentioned it. The nastiest place I jerked off in was a porta-pottie in North Carolina in the middle of the summer. I was sweating my ass off and trying not to throw up from the foul stench of 100 other peoples shit. Oh, and yes, I'm a sick fuck.
ah shit smell + jerkin off = my favorite
and socks you should ask that mom if she wants to fool around
One time I was in my office with the door closed "having lunch" and a girl who worked for me walked in just as I was finishing. I pulled my chair close to the desk as the door started to open so I don't think she actually saw anything but from the look on her face I could tell she knew. She was cool about it though and never let on.
I went to the Okanagan Hockey School in Penticton when I was 14, and I was lying in the dorm room at night, having gone about 5 or 6 days without beatin it, and suddenly I felt the horniest I ever had. So I rubbed at myself for a while on the top bunk and then left to go to the bathroom. I ran into a stall and glorified myself in about thirty seconds, then walked out of the bathroom to find myself staring at the guy on the bunk below me, a six-foot-four black guy. Keep in mind I was five-seven when I was 14 (I'm six foot now), and I looked up at him and oh god u should have seen it, it was hilarious in retrospect. We looked at each other for about ten seconds, then he said, "Go to bed." And god, did I book it. He told everyone the next day, and god, was I made fun of for the rest of the hockey school. The other kids nicknamed me "beat it." lol