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Cigs are all I think I've ever been truly addicted to. But I came close to alcohol addiction when I was going through some hard times in Turkey: had to dodge a family for a few months who were desperate to hurt or kill me, and the stress drove me to drinking on a daily basis, sometimes morning to night. Not sure how I dodged that bullet, really, and avoided becoming a full-blown alcoholic (runs in my family), but I did, somehow.
Yeah same here not preaching because i think in moderation people can treat them like cannabis, but still i wouldnt go there myself seems like a massive risk to chance getting addicted.Quote:
Originally Posted by Inferius
i went through a period of opiate addiction. I started taking oxycodone every once in a while, one would get me fucked. then i started taking them every weekend, it was like my whole week revolved around these pills on saturday and sunday. i started needing four of five pills to get me fucked. i would buy a whole bottle and it would last me a little more than two weeks. then I started taking a few before school... then after school. within a few months, i was taking 7-12 pills per day.i started stealing money FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY. i would try to take breaks but i would go into withdrawl and feel like i had the flu. i would skip school because of it. then when it got to the point where i couldnt feel normal without pills in my system and i got caught stealing, i called my friend emily. she started me on a gradual decline. i started taking cyclobenzone as a replacement and my body eventaully built up a tolerance. i took up smoking weed again and slowly i weaned my myself off.
it was the worst thing i ever did. i wasted so much money and i started abusing the people i loved.
but honestly i still love opiates. they are my drug of choice
Yeah man that cocaine got me fucked up! Ive had/still have problems with it, but Im breaking my addiction by myself.
Cigarettes
Im a bit of an alcoholic, nothing that Im worried about though.
World of Warcraft o.O
Morphine, vicodin, percocet
Mother fuckin duster man (shit fucked me up bad, Im still not the same)
I wish I could that. Or at least have a reset button. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by Inferius
Man I hate getting caught up in the moment and when something is there... and its just there... some people just do it.
I am a 54 year old male who is very lucky to still be alive.
I began using drugs at age 16, psylocibin, mescaline, acid, mda, and weed. At 18 I OD'd on a fix of heroin. My bro brought me back by pounding on my chest and slapping my face, hard. He told me I turned blue. By 21 I was dealing smack in Victoria BC wired to the nuts on 5 caps a day (back then the heroin came in bundles of 25, and was in #5 caps. After two months of that I was so disgusted with how low I had sunk by being a dealer that I went home to Edmonton. I had no idea how sick I was going to be. I took the Greyhound bus to Vancouver, but arriving there at the bus terminal I began to feel sick. Sitting at a table in the restaurant this guy comes up to me and asks me if I want to score. He said he could get anything. I asked "can you get some heroin?" he said yes, so we went to a rundown hotel in Gastown and scored a bundle for $550.00. I fixed 2 caps and felt better. I asked the kid who led me to the hotel if he would like to do a hit. He said sure; he told me he had done heroin before; fuckin liar; he OD'd on one cap. He was ok in awhile but not ok enough to be alone so I walked the streets with him till he was doing better.
I had a small hole in my pants pocket and lost the bundle, at night time. I went back to the bus depot and rode from Vancouver to Edmonton. By the time i got home I was quite ill and went to the bar where my friends were and scored some speed (there wasn't any heroin in Edmonton; none that I knew about anyway. I did speed till the Mounties and city cops came 2 months later to get me at 2 in the morning at my parents house. As soon as I opened the door they read me the charges and there was a flash of an image of the two fuckers I sold to. They took me back to BC to face 2 counts of trafficking diacetylmorphine (heroin). I spent 2 months waiting trial, pled guilty and got 3 years. I was lucky; back in Edmonton a chick got 12 years for one count, about the same time I got sentenced. In '74 I was out of jail, got married and had a son, but 2 years later we were divorced because of my drug use. I no longer did heroin but was into percs, dillies, syrup with hydocodone ativan, valium, serax, I held a job at Stelco as a steelworker and did drugs the whole time. I always worked, since I got out of the pen. I did a few short bits in jail for theft and writing my own scripts.
Then I met Her, love of my life. She thought she could help me to stop doing drugs, but I was already a hard core junky and she couldn't help me. We were together almost 14 years and had 2 young boys. She didn't do drugs, but one day after six years she kept bugging me for a hit... (she saw how 'happy' i was after doing a fix. I gave her one and two weeks later I was telling my friends I had created a monster. Her personality changed for the worse. A few years later we both were doing morphine till we got on the methadone program. I came off methadone 6 times and ended right back on it when I never made it through the withdrawal. When coming off methadone you go down as many milligrams as you want. I always took a 5 milligram drop every week. Once you hit 20 mils. you go into withdrawal, so I would go through that in about 3 or 4 weeks untill I'm clean, but the withdrawal lasts about another 2 to 3 months. I could never handle it and after about 3 months of withdrawal I would 'cheat' every 5 days and do a hit of morphine to ease the withdrawals. I wound up getting wired again and always ended up back on the methadone. My wife left me 8 years ago. 8 years ago I was clean for awhile, but the wife left me and I was kicked out of the house by the welfare people. (she collected welfare while I worked)
I was very depressed and didn't care if I lived or died so I did some smack to ease the pain. 8 years ago the smack in Edmonton was pure, uncut. I did a point and a half and OD'd again. I remember sitting on the can in the bathroom of buddies house, shooting it up. When I was done I got up and went to the sink to clean my spoon and rig when I looked in the mirror. I saw a dead man. I dropped to my knees, not able to move or speak while a slide show was going on in my head. I saw every good thing I've ever done. The images were flying by at a million miles an hour. The last image I saw was myself giving mouth to mouth, trying to bring back a buddy who had OD'd on poppy juice. In my head I saw myself, about 15 feet above the floor, looking down at myself helping my buddy while waiting for the ambulance to arrive. I don't remember the other images; they went by too fast but this one I remembered.
Then it all made sense; I believe God gave me my life back because I helped save buddies life.
I remember one of the paramedics telling me I probably saved him by giving him mouth to mouth. His mouth was full of puke but I didn't care. I was determined to try my hardest to bring him back.
My life changed dramaticly after that. I began to here a voice in my head who I perceived as God. This mania lasted 9 months till a friend took me to the hospital; a fellow Christian. (although I am not one to study the bible or go to church on a regualar basis. During the 9 months I was in a state of mind I can only assume was a higher state of conciousness. Everything amazed me. I could see right through people and could tell them why they are like they are just by telling me a fiew details of their childhood. I looked into the eyes of people I walked past and could see the emotional pain they were in. I was working, not on methadone; not using anything, not even weed although I smoked some when in the hospital. I don't mind telling you it was the nicest weed high I had ever experiensed. I refused to take the drugs they were trying to give me in the hospital for the first couple of weeks. I also hadn't eaten meat for about 4 months. I went to the grocery store one evening to get something for supper. Walking towards the meat counters I saw (in my head) blood running down the displays of meat and heard the screams of animals being butchered. I left the store crying, without buying anything. Seeing that stopped me from eating meat.One morning, while in the hospital the voice said today you will eat meat" (I was on a vegetarian diet when in the hospital and the only meat I ever received was fish. On the day the voice told me I will eat meat I picked up my tray only to see there were sausages and eggs. For lunch I picked up my tray and there was roast beef, and for supper I had pork on my tray. They gave me a couple of injections in the hospital that knocked me flat, for over 3 weeks and I no longer had the voice in my head. I was in hospital, in the psych ward for 57 days; the average stay is 17 days.
I have been diagnosed by 3 psychiatrists as having severe BiPolar disorder. Finally my life made sense. The extreme highs I experienced and the crushing lows were what drove me to the drugs, the hard drugs. They eased the pain I have most always felt. I have always known there was something wrong with me, I just didn't know what it is. Anyway, shortly after leaving me my ex gave me the kids; on my birthday 8 years ago. I have raised them by myself, as I am still single. I am currently on the methadone and I smoke a lot of weed, but I will never ever put a needle in my arm, haven't done so for 4 years. I take my BiPolar meds, drink my methadone and go about my life.
You may like to know, while I was in that manic faze God showed me His Heaven.
I was out for a walk, the voice asked me to go for a walk because He said He wanted to show me something. I saw myself as a young kid, about 12 or so walking up these blue steps. The background was black. Upon reaching the top of the stairs the were two arched doors. One of them opend a bit and I had a look inside. All of a sudden there was a very loud crash of thunder, and then a bolt of lightening. I then heard a trumpet, and voices singing beautiful music, accompanied by dark rolling clouds. I can not remember what else but there were 7 things.
In the bible it talks about heaven and says, a few times, "there will thunderings and lightenings, horns blowing and rolling clouds.God or Jesus is supposed to come back riding horses with dark, rolling clouds. I looked all this stuff up AFTER I saw it and heard it in my head.
I am lucky to still be here as I also slashed up twice, stabbed myself in the stomach, OD'd twice, been in 5 car wrecks where the cars were demolished, all because of hard drugs, mostly because I am BiPolar.:(
I hope anyone who is heavy into drugs to please find out if you are BiPolar. There is help out there and maybe, just maybe you won't have to go through some of the bad things I have gone through. Peace.:thumbsup:
This is a weed site. If you need to discuss the rest of this please do so elsewhere. I don't know about you but I'd rather not have me toking habit associated with the rest of this crap.
Have a good one!:thumbsup: