A revolutionary.

I suppose what I'm most interested is my affect on other people who feel they've reached this enlightenment. It's as if I'm being used almost. Friends or those I used to call that have now taken me in as a tool for their own desire of enlightenment and yet they think that I stand idly by with no clue whatsoever. I must say that I probably wouldn't have reached this knowledge without help, of course. Eventually the sensations I experienced with these people in particular would prosper from imaginary to reality. And I may or may not have grasped the concept, alas I must not dwell on the help I've received and not let pride have it's best of me. I've discovered for myself. And yet, it still the question still remains: why?

Why let me stand by with no information? No guidance. While surely they've had guidance from another and the perpetual cycle continues, so on and so forth. As I would insist on sharing with another who's reached near enlightenment, yet the refused. And even in times of need they've misdirected me. A tool for their own selfish desires. I was nothing but a test of their limits for them.

Your pain is evident in your words, that much I can detect. What I don't understand is why you seem to feel so cheated for helping others understand their existence. You should in fact take away some sort of pride for assisting others along their own personal journey. True, we are but one as we travel, yet the wholeness one feels is a combination of other souls you have met along the way. You take some of them with you, to add to your own collective thought. A melting pot for the soul, if you will. The beauty of enlightenment is that when some form of it hits you, you feel a sense of completion, for the fact that you alone arrived at such a state of nirvana. Yet at the same time, you are brought together by those that guided you along the way, in one way or another. Feelings of isolation do not pertain to your mind any longer. You should revel in the fact that you are a part of another's spirtual journey, and that on a deep level, you are connected. A few of my friends have indeed experienced this, while others merely push away any sort of deep thought to run around and have a good time. I surely don't loath or dispise those that wish to look the other way, but instead urge for that connection.

I too have a habit of over-analyzing things, but I don't necessarily view this as a bad thing. Thought never hurt anyone now did it? From what you described, it sounds like you might be struggling to grasp tight to this feeling of enlightenment, when in truth, enlightenment grasps you. This feeling is nothing like being suffocated, but subconsciously, you know it's there. I took from your description that this state of enlightenment is only within arm's reach, yet still it seems like a mile away. Worry not, and don't let your flurry of thoughts beat you up about something that needs to come almost naturally.

For me, enlightenment is more of a subtly within my mind. At times, yes, I struggle to remain in some form of this state, which can most likely be attributed to factors in my personal life. Sometimes stressful or painful moments I experience yank me from my world of content, but I have experienced enough with my mind to know that the feeling itself does not vanquish. And more times than others, I feel a stronger sense of this enlightenment, most often after I've ingested a few drops of the universe*. But after a few very intense experiences, I now know that I am in complete control of my mind, that nothing can shake the nirvana lodged deep within my soul. I think that deep thought and enlightenment are constantly interchanging, but the root is still there, grounded. It's like building on a sturdy base, one brick at a time.

Sorry if my words seem confusing or downright insane, but it's hard to put into words a feeling like this. I do enjoy reading about your journey though, as I hope a bit of mine helped you. My travels are far from over though. Rather than fight it, I am both a passenger and the conductor on this trip. Floating until I find what is right, what is true, and what matters most. Don't let my bitterness from my past posts fool you; I was wrong to lash out at nothing. My apologies. Cheers to you. ~

You'd be happy to know that absolutely nothing you said was incoherent. Infact what you mentioned about pride struck many a chord. My pride has pushed me into a realm of greed, yet I feel as though I'd sacrifice my own enlightenment for the sake of another along the journey. And you're absolutely correct on thought. It has indeed been deep, agonizing thought that has influenced this enlightenment.

The idea lingers deep within my mind still. Pride fucks with me over and over again. Pride leads to doubts and I spiral down again. I can accept this concept with pride that I'm contributing to another's revolution of mind or enlightenment. I take it on (this is like an oath lol). Yet, there's been a disconnection. One that I have difficulty reattaching. And now I'm the one urging for that connection. Maybe of one that has been gone astray? Or perhaps it is me that has gone astray?

You say 'don't let a flurry of thoughts beat me up', yet this reconnection is not coming naturally. So much pain has nearly desensitized me to the ones who I am bonded with (I hope my words fill you in). It's like I'm deaf, dumb and blind to those who hold a connection with me, but yet I urge for that feeling. Not of enlightenment perse, but the love that once bonded us closely together. I crave to feel that way about my friends once again. Still confused, I am. How can there be love for me and I not share it back?

Pride does seem to be blocking your path now doesn't it? Maybe pride was the wrong word to use when it comes to affecting others and their journeys, but perhaps a word more like "satisfaction" would suffice?

As cliché as it sounds, you and those that you wish to reconnect with really should all experience a *trip* together (hopefully you understand its meaning here, as I don't want this thread closed for saying the wrong thing). What's wonderful about tripping is that you experience loss of ego--of this pride that haunts your mind. It lets you simply be; to live with one another without all of the worldly distractions that might be a contributing factor to your sense of pride. And the overwhelming feeling of love is sure to follow. It will come because now your pride will seem SO very insignificant to you at the time, and hopefully from then on, and allow you to reconnect with those that love you. Let love be the path that guides you, as they say. I only suggest that you experience a trip because the pain you suffer from sounds a little too overwhelming to just try and put aside. It needs to be stripped away, and the right trip will do this for you.

I also understand about your yearning for reconnection of past friends and perhaps soulmates that have just gone their own seperate way. I'm still dealing with that to some degree, but I guess a small sense of hope lies within, pushing me to never let go. To let go is to loose sight of those that love you, as you mentioned. Perhaps you haven't seen these friends in quite some time? This could also lead to a false-sense of a disintegrating love. It could even be that as soon as you see this person after a long absense, the feeling will come rushing back. I know I have friends like that, whom I dearly look forward to seeing soon. All we have to do is look at each other, square in the eye, and it's like we were never apart--a love never lost. I also might suggest that your deep desire to experience this feeling might be hindering the opportunity for it to actually consume you. Forcing something like this surely cannot be good for the soul, but rather destructive from the symptoms you describe.

Do not fret, my wandering spiritual warrior. This is why they call it a journey; a quest. If you didn't learn anything from this, there would be no point in experiencing it. Learn well from this, and you will come out all the wiser, ready to love and be loved. Don't worry, either, because you are loved. ~

And this learning part is the personal endeavor. The things I should write down and put into perspective. I understand these concepts clearly, yet fear that I'm not learning from what I've experienced, though I'm sure my mind will surely store it.

I have always been a fan of writing down any thought or idea that has been on my mind, as it might help to write out exactly what you're feeling, and then you can look back at it for a new perspective. Do not doubt your mind, and fear not; it's hard to reach a stage of enlightenment when you're so consumed by the fear and doubt that lingers. Put your faith to good use. ~

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Originally Posted by Ganj

Whoa! Hold on a minute. He literally revolutionized a country with his music? Any credible resources you all can point me to?

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Here's some fecal matter:

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Fela and his band, renamed "Africa '70" returned to Nigeria. He then formed the Kalakuta Republic, a commune, a recording studio and a home for many connected to the band which he later declared independent from the Nigerian state.

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In 1974 the police arrived with a search warrant and a cannabis joint, which they had intended to plant on Fela. He became wise to this and swallowed the joint. In response, the police took him into custody and waited to examine his feces. Fela enlisted the help of his prison mates and gave the police someone else's feces, and Fela was freed. He then recounted this tale in his release Expensive Shit.

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In 1977 Fela and the Afrika 70 released the hit album Zombie, a scathing attack on Nigerian soldiers using the "zombie" metaphor to describe the methods of the Nigerian military. The album was a smash hit with the people and infuriated the government, setting off a vicious attack against the Kalakuta Republic, during which one thousand soldiers attacked the commune.

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He formed his own political party, which he called "Movement of the People". In 1979 he put himself forward for President in Nigeria's first elections for more than a decade but his candidature was refused.

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Taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fela_Kuti

More websites:

http://www.ibiblio.org/felakuti/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/profiles/kutifela.shtml


He's an interesting guy...and his music is fucking f-u-n-k-y!

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On Fela's release he divorced his twelve remaining wives.

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BWAH!

you have to write on THREE influential people? exactly what depth are we looking for here? kiddie-pool? i also have a distaste for the "three most" thinking; this silly american listing of who's better than everybody else; a much better topic would be to write something about one influential person and who/how they have influenced

but none of that helps you.....................

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Originally Posted by Oneironaut

Che Guevara

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i'll go with che FTW; fun topic, you can just rent "motorcycle diaries" read a few wiki's and wing the rest :)

MLK is also clearly a great one, but quite obvious, you'll have MLK on everyone's list (for good reason!)

ohhh.................i've got a great one.......ready????/...........












......................miles davis






....blow baby

Even if the thoughts be those of doubt and uncertainty--you insist on writing them down? Even of those thoughts take you away from the sensation of enlightenment? I can't describe the feeling I had just experienced. It was comfort, yet slightly obscured. Like breaking through a threshold. And yet, I couldn't feel completed. A void still lay dormant in my mind and in my essence. Either I couldn't accept that perhaps another hasn't reached a stage of enlightenment and I have or vice versa? You're certainly helping me to understand all of this better, but I feel I need more. And maybe it's the sub-conscious void rather than just a lack of information? I suppose I'm looking for affirmation in myself through you. I'm hoping that you can tell me I've been enlightened and have it done with, while deep down I know that can't be true. I have no faith in myself. I'm too dependent on others to guide me through, because my mind leads me right where I began my journey:Suspicion. Anger. Deceit.

And what to make of this urge I explain to you? It is just that. An empty love. Is it empty because the two souls are not connected? Or can one soul be connected and the other be oblivious to the feeling?

Forgive my inquisitions. This holds a great deal of importance to me. And I thank you for your guidance.