JOKES JOKES JOKES MORE JOKES!!!!

Do ya ever get the feeling? :rolleyes:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by poorman3

Do ya ever get the feeling? :rolleyes:

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yep

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NowhereMan

yep

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Looks like ya been busy! LOL. Me too! :eek:

Why dont blonds use vibrators.?.




They Chip to manny teeth...:D.

Three women - one German, one Japanese and a hillbilly were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

The German pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. "That was my pager," she said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.

She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The hillbilly woman finally said, "Well, will you look at that, I'm gettin' a fax."

A lawyer parked at the side of the road, and opened the door of his BMW. Suddenly, a speeding car appeared from nowhere, hitting the door and ripping it off of his car. The lawyer was outraged.

When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer whined, "Officer, look what that person did to my Beemer! You have to find him and arrest him!"

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick," the officer snapped. "You're so upset about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off in the accident."

"Oh my God....", gasped the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody stump where his arm had been. "My Rolex!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jadeius

Q: What should you do if you come across an elephant?

A: Apologize and wipe it off.

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that's the only joke that made me laugh out loud

Why do they call it "PMS"?

Because "mad cow disease" was already taken.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by looseends

Three women - one German, one Japanese and a hillbilly were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

The German pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. "That was my pager," she said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The Japanese woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The hillbilly woman felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom.

She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her behind. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her. The hillbilly woman finally said, "Well, will you look at that, I'm gettin' a fax."

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AAAAAAHHHHHHHH! THAT'S FUCKED UP!!!!! :eek:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ermitonto

A lawyer parked at the side of the road, and opened the door of his BMW. Suddenly, a speeding car appeared from nowhere, hitting the door and ripping it off of his car. The lawyer was outraged.

When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer whined, "Officer, look what that person did to my Beemer! You have to find him and arrest him!"

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick," the officer snapped. "You're so upset about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off in the accident."

"Oh my God....", gasped the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody stump where his arm had been. "My Rolex!"

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!