first time smoker

Cool pipe man... but look, you're making too much out of it, it's really easy.
Get some weed, put it in a pipe (the one pictured is just fine), light that shit and draw a rip into your mouth like drinking from a straw. Inhale that shit, Hold it in for a while (if you can, but if you can't that's cool), and exhale. You are bound to cough the first few times so have a drink handy. I would recommend NOT using tobacco but that's IMO. It will get easier the more you do it, the more your lungs get used to it.

As far as smell control, bowls produce less smoke than joints/blunts. An exaust fan should be okay as long as you stay next to it while smoking.

Do you have any friends that smoke?? I would just hang with them and let them get you high. If none of your friends smoke, get your friends together and figure it out together. Smoking with friends is alot more fun than doing it alone IMO.

Good luck man...