Quote:
Originally Posted by IrieAllie
I second that proclamation !!! I've had a great married life (26 years) , and have a great family, but what is so wrong with traveling through life on your own ???
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IrieAllie
I second that proclamation !!! I've had a great married life (26 years) , and have a great family, but what is so wrong with traveling through life on your own ???
I see nothing at all wrong with flying by the seat of your pants! I LOVE my husband...love being married (MOST of the time!!!), and love my kids. But you can't appreciate the beauty in being ALONE until you NEVER EVER get any alone time!! So yeah, I would be happy, traveling along with some good friends, and doing my thing..... Glad I am not alone on that one!!Quote:
Originally Posted by DonnieDarko
What's it like being married? I mean, i'm 18 and have never been interested in marriage; not yet, anyway. But I do wonder what it would be like to be connected to someone like that for the rest of your live[s]. Is it a nice feeling, a sad one? What?
I second that proclamation !!! I've had a great married life (26 years) , and have a great family, but what is so wrong with traveling through life on your own ???Quote:
Originally Posted by DonnieDarko
Iâ??m sooooooo feeling you guys right now.
I always swore that if I got married it would be till death.
I didnâ??t realize that my marriage would make me feel dead.
It just wasnâ??t the right time for me, I even knew it at the time (honestly.) But we always know donâ??t weâ?¦..and then we go and fucking do it anyway.
Well 3 years later I had a divorce and a daughter (not in that order of course.)
Now 30, being a mommy, going to college, smoking potâ?¦..fuck does it get any better than thisâ?¦.shit.
OK so im broke all the timeâ?¦â?¦.I donâ??t care brother Iâ??m free.
Seriously, im having a good time just being meâ?¦.I could definitely do this for the rest of my life.
Well, please don't take my proclimation of my floating through life by the seat of my pants as a downer to marriage. I LOVE being married...really. The best thing I did was do MY thing, whenever and with whomever I wanted when I was younger. I didn't get married until I was 26--and that was a good thing for me. Otherwise, I KNOW I would have started with the "What ifs" and regrets. I know what I am (or am NOT) missing out on. I enjoy my husbands company--we have FUN together. You have GOT to be friends--sooooooo important! Yes, we have our differences at times...which is healthy for a relationship. But if something were to happen to him (God forbid), I would be in NO rush to be out there dating or anything. I've done that...and I don't miss it!Quote:
Originally Posted by GHoSToKeR
Most important thing, to me anyhow, is that we lived together before we got married. Things change dramatically when you are sharing a roof--and bills, and all the other crap that comes along with being an "adult". The whole dynamic of the relationship changes...for us it was for the better. But that isn't always the case. I knew I wanted to marry this man...and before him, I really never had the "need" or desire to be tied to one person for the rest of my life. I am a sappy dork, and believe there are soulmates for everyone out there...and if you don't find that person, your chances in a long-term relationship aren't that great. Again, it's just my philosophy on the situation.
Live your life as a young adult...have your fun, and you'll not be worrying "did I make a mistake???" :D
Cool post, IreAllie, and thanks for the advice! :) My outlook is slightly different and maybe slightly less romantic. I don't think that everyone has a 'soulmate', as such.. I just think that everyone is so different that the possibility of everyone having a perfect 'someone' somewhere on the earth is a high possibility, but the chances of finding them are very low.. but there are so many people in the world that it's more possible to have loads of perfect possible partners all over the world, if you were ever to meet them...I don't think that if you don't find them then you won't find anyone, because like I said, I think you could be happy with all sorts of different people.. you just never look for them, find them, notice them, whatever.. Sorry, really stoned and finding it hard to express what I mean.
Hey, Ghost!
I know where you are coming from, I have been there before. This time (if ever) around ,though, I am in it for a total connection and love. Not just love, absolutely positively losing my mind love. And someone that gets me, you know what I mean? On all levels.
Marriage has become a ritual, something that too many of us have gotten into without really thinking about what is a marriage. Is marriage even necesarry? Some think it some how solidifies a relationship....like saying, "Yes, I love this person, this is the one for me." To me that seems bogus. It seems more like something that shows proof of love. I don't think I need the "proof" anymore. I could be happy living in harmony with someone and never going through the ritual of marriage again.
Hey MJM, how are you?
I was supposed to be getting a lift to work today, I had to meet Peter (one of the older guys I work with) somewhere at 7:30, and I got there at 7:32 and he had already left, so i'm pissed off. I have no way of getting to work, and I can't be fucked with the job anymore, that's how pissed off I am... I hate the job, it's really far away from my house, the money is so bad that it almost costs me money to work there, and most of the people are dicks anyway, especially one guy who is on a major power trip and never gets off my case... I have no way of getting to work, but i'll get in trouble for not showing up, so I'm not even gonna bother. I could walk into another job in five minutes, but I just didn't want to leave yet because I don't like confrontation and would feel bad (lol). Fucking assholes.
Wow, chill out GHoST.. lol.. Sorry, I know that has nothing to do with the thread but, hey. :)
MJM, I know exactly what you mean... I also think that that idea is bogus, but I also don't think that you need to prove to people that you love someone and want to spend your life with them, if that's really how you feel. Especially not by means of some outdated religious ceromony. But hey, that's just me... and i'm 18; i'll probably feel differently in a few years.
I think that we are doing things backwards .... fall in love at a young age, without really knowing ourselves or our place in the world. Maybe our instincts tell us that we want kids, or society just tells us that is the next step. Kids need the stability of the home, so marriage seems to be the best option at that point. So there we are: young, married, kids, and not knowing much about who we are, where we're going, or where we're gonna end up. TILL DEATH DO US PART. Success is random, and we haven't learned any lessons from the past.
From my perspective now, I think that men and women need to find their place in the world (alone), for the first 35 to 45 years. At that point, they know enough about themselves and to find a compatable partner to decide how to proceed ...
I got married at 23 to someone I thought I loved. We had known each other for a year and I guess I had some idealistic view of how it would be when we where actually married or maybe I just didn't know him as well as I thought I did but it did not work out well. Years later I have been through hell but I feel like I know myself and know what I want in another person.
I did find a soulmate, and I think I needed to go through all that in order to be ready for him. I can't wait to marry him. When we are apart we talk all the time, when we are together we are always touching each other and laughing about stuff. I look forward to seeing him every morning when we are together. What I felt for other people pales in comparison to the blaze of affinity I feel with him. We all live in a different tune, together he and I are harmony and it feels like an orchestra.
The best part is he feels the same about me.
I've been in his deja vu, we have had the same dreams, we say random things at the same time.......I don't think I ever beleived in destiny...until I met him.