If jesus were here

I smoke with Jesus on the weekends, whens he's not working on them watermelon patches.........

One of my favorite moments in college:

Professor: The final exam will have 50 questions.
Student (in the far back): Jesus Christ!
Professor: ...ain't here.

:D

I'd smoke a bowl or three with him. I'd already be stoned because, since he probably never even existed, he'd be just a hallucination. So, by the time I sobered up to beat his ass, he'd had vanished, a figment of my imagination.

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Originally Posted by Gatekeeper777

If jesus were here would you....


Smoke a bowl or two with him

OR


Beat the living shit out of him for starting a religion that forbids all the good stuff?

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To me, jesus didn't start religion, neither did god...humans created religion. The bible was never meant to be taken literally. It was meant to used as a guide to respecting, and how to treat your fellow human being. Perhaps god doesn't want people to worship him.

All in all, if jesus is/was a real person, I would stone him to death, with big rocks, just for fun.

I'd offer him a smoke, wash his feet and ask him to bless us all and especially my horticultural endeavors.
STIMPY21

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Originally Posted by Nochowderforyou

To me, jesus didn't start religion, neither did god...humans created religion. The bible was never meant to be taken literally. It was meant to used as a guide to respecting, and how to treat your fellow human being. Perhaps god doesn't want people to worship him.

All in all, if jesus is/was a real person, I would stone him to death, with big rocks, just for fun.

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THAT could be very very true.

IF there was such a thing as God, he might NOT want us to worship him. If heaven and hell was real, maybe it'd be the ones who didnt worship who got into heaven.

Concidering he's never shown himself, he's pretty modest so i wouldnt have thought he'd like it.

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Originally Posted by mesoto

If jesus comes back, I'll crucify him again. Just kidding, he's probably a chill and loving guy that I could learn a lot from, I'd get him stoned and buy him a hoe. He ought to need one. The 2000 Year Old Virgin.

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that was fucking great

I think Jesus was here as Immanuel (God with us) to have a fully human experience, and while I claim no proof (unlike Dan Brown) it would not astonish me to find that Jesus was married.

If He is really omniscient how can He not know that the experience of romantic love? To me if this were true it does not diminish Him in any way, but of course many disagree and would call this blasphemous.

Maybe we'll find out in the next life.

why is it only real athiests ever seem to know he didn't create it???

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Originally Posted by rebgirl420

Next time im answering the door naked.

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Im converting! :wtf:

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Originally Posted by reaper666

Yea really, I've heard so many call Jesus their lord, but isn't that blasphemy to have a lord other than God in catholicism/christianity? :what:

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Jesus is God. That's why I say Jesus is LORD.

Some of you guys are brutal. You want to stone Jesus to death with big rocks just for fun? Why is he so offensive to you?
How would you feel if someone did that to someone close to you just for fun?