Sugar Water?

Molasses has been boiled it's what's left after the sugar crystals are removed. I hear maple syrup works great but way to spendy.

"The boiled brown sugar that I'm using is DEFINITELY making my little girlies much more voluptuous."

You may wish to reconsider the "definitely" part. :)
Apparently would be more accurate, yah?

That is, unless you did an actual side by side test.
(6 girls get boiled brown sugar water, 6 girls just get the same amount of boiled water, no BS added, fer instance.)

"Firstly, you put freshly cut flowers in sugar water the buds will last about three times as long before wilting than if you just put them in plain old water. That right there tells me sugars get pulled up into the plant when the plant drinks, and furthermore, those sugars consumed by the plant have a quantifiable effect."

The key word there, is cut.
A cut stem will uptake just about any reasonable sized molecule through capillary action.
That is a function of atmospheric pressure.
Roots are more selective.
So, while I do not question your observation, I do suggest that you re-examine your conclusion.
Adding sugars changes the osmotic balance and does indeed make cut flowers last longer.
Tested it myself.

I just divided the bouquets in two and only sugared one of them for the first few times.
Mine only lasted twice as long, but the difference was obvious, and consistent, so now I do it every time.

For example:

"The other observation that I have made is about 3-4 days after beginning sugar feeding the plant's flowers weigh more."

Again, "weigh more" is a subjective judgement without an objective, side by side, test.
It may be caused by nothing more than an increase in your growing skills, a warmer season, higher humidity.
But, more likely, timing,
There are just way too many variables for a definite conclusion.

Here's something to ponder on.

"I have made is about 3-4 days after beginning sugar feeding the plant's flowers weigh more"

Around the seventh week, right near the end of a growers patience, Cannabis does a "bud swell", whether or not you do anything special.

Huckster play on that, and sell all manner of super duper, magic bud elixirs.
The impatient growers adds these just before his girls pop their buds.

When normal swelling takes place right around that time, guess what gets the credit?
He tell his buddies, they offer it as solid advice to newbies. "I saw it with my own eyes dudes!"
The hucksters get richer.

I too, got that "advice" from forums but, as you may have noticed, I like to test these things.
The great majority of the crap at the hydro stores is a waste of resources.
Saved me a small fortune over the last 45 years of growing.
Science is your friend.

Now bracing myself for a flaming from those that would rather believe something, than actually know something. :D

Aloha,
Weeze

I will add that Molasses is a beneficial additive because it contains trace elements, most notably, sulphur.

Carry on.
Weeze