Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
I know it's old..but its funny lol....
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last West Virginia family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not to sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried and hot because it took him two hours to get me and your mother out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.
Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned.
We had him cremated, he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Uncle, Dad
Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
Quote:
Originally Posted by siSTARindigo
Cool, and maybe something for her skin. It must be awful. I could tell you the best stuff, but won't be buying it for that trash. And it is still make-up, not miracle balm.
And then there is her hair, which mine is longer now. Junkies tend to loose hair from malnutrition.
But whatever, she said she was rocking, I think she is lying. I called her bluff, and quick. I don't think she expected that ;)
yeah.....bulk rate bondo for the teeth,...hmmm...maybe some weaves for the hair...but god the skin..ur right...they get those cyst like pimples...oh well maybe with some lighting...come on now i demand a poll........star vs. miss kitty cracker
Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
Quote:
Originally Posted by slayergirl
hey know what shelbays divorce and a texas tornado have in common? either way someone is going to lose a trailer
:clap: :clap: :clap:
Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
everybody smoke em if u got em...shelbay is using her finger to read...she is at post 3...could be a minute....taps fingers...looks at clock..
Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked"
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thou! sand. If it's really a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
He smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?...."
Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
Quote:
Originally Posted by slayergirl
yeah.....bulk rate bondo for the teeth,...hmmm...maybe some weaves for the hair...but god the skin..ur right...they get those cyst like pimples...oh well maybe with some lighting...come on now i demand a poll........star vs. miss kitty cracker
I do know of an amazing brand of make-up, all of it is powder. Concealer, foundation, all of it. It is really good at covering bad skin. But I doubt she could afford it, And I am not wasting my make-up on a scragley meth head bitch.
She will never agree to a poll. I would SMOKE her. I will even go have some bikini pics taken, straight up!
I fallow through with my shit....
Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
oh and shelbay....honey that isn't a pardon...the word is parole....that nice man u see once every two weeks isn't a fellow christian helping you...that babe is a parole officer...say it with me...paaaaaarolllllee offffffiiiicerrrr
Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
Quote:
Originally Posted by slayergirl
everybody smoke em if u got em...shelbay is using her finger to read...she is at post 3...could be a minute....taps fingers...looks at clock..
This is just so fucking funny.......:stoned:
Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
Eva in a bikini and I'll be straight up ;-P
no worries about a little penis either lol
Where Do You Stand On Homosexuality?
VENUS & MARS....
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus
and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with
their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually
says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear...
You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to
spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just
buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I
said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out
a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. (She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.) I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT???!!!"
Then I said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill
me, I added........,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either
