Originally Posted by birdgirl73
Haze, sweetie, I've been thinking about your and your brother all day today and hoping you guys and your mom are all making it OK. I'm so sorry about your loss, and I know it's been devastating for you all, particularly you since you felt like things weren't left on a good note and for your brother, who found him.
You're doing precisely what you need to be doing, and I'm in awe of how articulately and sensitively you're writing about what you're feeling and thinking. That's very healthy, and I'm glad you're continuing to check in here.
You can still talk to your dad, actually. I truly believe he's someplace where he can hear and feel the love you express, and it's important to voice what you wish you could say even if he's no longer here in the conscious world. I've got a very ill sister who's not going to be with us for a whole lot longer, and one of the things she has asked for is for us to write letters to her and put them with her when she's buried because she thinks it'll be comforting for her and therapeutic for us. I'm sure it will be. Even so, we're all making sure we say what we need to now, too. Anyway, that letter idea might be a good one for you, too.
I don't know if this'll help or not, but parents and kids have friction. It's expected. And even when we parents are mad at our kids or they are mad at us, we still know we love each other. Even when very mean things are said, we do. Your dad knew you loved him. I promise he did. And he loved you. He wouldn't have done that road trip if that weren't the case. He wouldn't have been the hard-ass he was at times if that weren't the case.
You're in my thoughts and prayers, hon. Keep us in the loop because we're all thinking about you, pulling for your family, and sending all the positive energy we can. Take care.
