earlier today i took a shit(in the toilet) and i kept wiping my ass and wiping and wiping and wiping and it was like endless amount of toilet paper required to get it all. it was like it kept reproducing
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earlier today i took a shit(in the toilet) and i kept wiping my ass and wiping and wiping and wiping and it was like endless amount of toilet paper required to get it all. it was like it kept reproducing
Quote:
Originally Posted by friendowl
Allright Allright man! Im SORRY! Im so fucking high right now, its scary hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Will you still be my friend?:D
That would be wonderful! Damn Dude, you've got some issues......at least you don't have any hang-ups:rasta:Quote:
Originally Posted by Toking with Jesus
Luckily i've never shit myself either.. Well yeah, I have but not since I was fucking 2 or something.. But since we're all sharing shit stories then why not..
About a year ago I got invited out to a couple clubs with this chick and her friends, so of course I said fuck yeah.. Anyways this one chick, J, drank way more than anyone else and during the night we went outside to smoke a joint, since she didn't usually smoke she was way fucked up.. When we left the last club we were at we were walking back to one of our houses when J stumbled over to the side of the road saying she had to take a piss.. She was pretty hot, dressed really nice, and she was crouching on the side of the road pulling her skirt down to take a fucking piss! Jeez it was bad, but what was worse was that she was way too drunk to pull her skirt down properly and ended up just pissing all over it.. She didn't notice though 'cause she just pulled it back up and went to walk away.. None of us ever looked at her the same way again LOL
Kinda not what you expect to see when you're out with a group of hot girls haha :D
they had a service at the school i went to to pick up and ddo your old laundry for you. we were going to take a pair of underware and just have some one sht in them then send them threw the cleaners.
nver happend tho. i mean who really wants to shit themselfs
It's always the hot girls because you already expect it from the bathless ones.Quote:
Originally Posted by GHoSToKeR
i had the same shit happen with one of my homegirls
she peed on her underwear than took em off and threw em
and when they hit the wall they were so wet they stuck to the wall.
she was fine but after that no deals
Not my story but I thought it fit the situation of the thread. This is from an IRC chat.
Quote:
Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fucked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in shit. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
QFTQuote:
Originally Posted by friendowl
Well the last time i shit myself it was when i was a litttle kid. Maybe 6 or 7. I was in the basement watching tv. I sharted i guess u would call it and at that point i was like o wat the hell might as well just shit. So i shit and my dad had these gay pillows with ppl golfing on them. I wiped my ass on it lol. Later that week my parents got into a fight and my dad slept downstairs on the pillow! Thats one of the few things i remember as a kid and u can probably see why :(
friendowl I have been reading some of your posts and you seem insane lol but no I have never shitted or pissed my pants in public (atleast not past the age of 8 :-\).
I once had a drunk throw shit at me in the street..:(
we were Kids and giving the drunk a hard time.
the drunk Got fed up with our harrasment and said If we didnt fuck off he was going to shit on us..
We didnt beleive him Untill he Shat his Pants then ever so casually reached in and started throwing handfulls of feices at us...
I have never run so fast in my life..
Never sh!t myself, but came close a few times. One time inparticular, I had eaten at white Castle earlier, and you you know when it's time to go after. I was driving at the time, and had absolutely nowhere to go, so I casually pulled over on the interstate, and droped my pants. It was either that, or filling my shorts with a load. Man, there where so many cars, people blowing there horns. I was like "fuck it", and blew it out properly. Wiped my ass with my underwear, and left them on the side of the road.
That was the closest I ever came to sh!ting myself as an adult, but when I look back back at that moment, I can't help but crack a smile, lol.
Funny frakin thread Mr. Owl . . .
one time i was driving home from school and i had to shit REALLY bad. i was going about 100 miles an hour, and like half standing up while driving to keep the shit in my ass. i finally got home, sprinted into the bathroom, but the shit was already comin out before i even got my pants off :(
no fun
This complete stupid bastard ASSHOLE I have the misfortune of going to school with a few years back called TODD COURTNEY who lives in south east england (hehe)
He was at the Reading festival, DRank 3 TINY cidres, and woke up a few hours later in one of the porta-loos COVERERED in shit,an I mean COVERED, and his arm was in the toilet itself, he later claimed to his friends thats "some had leaked into his underwear"....YEEEAAH RIGHT!!!
Its SO funny because he is THE most arrogant cunt I've ever met, and hes never had ANYTHING to be arrogant about in the first place, and then stuff like this happens :D That should put him in his place, haha!
A great way to fuck up a hotel room service persons head is to get some marmite, put it on the sheets on the bed, call room service and when they open the door, start licking the marmite.
when i was 1 year old?Quote:
Originally Posted by friendowl
It was 1994 when I last shit myself.
Riding my bike as a courier I had a stomache ache and had to open up the gates before I could make it to the next toilet so I crapped myself with all the other homeless on the street. I just had to toss my boxers in a trashcan. Weeeee.:stoned:
Ones i was at my friends house sleeping over, and when i woke up he was still asleep i was going to play a prank and fart in his face, but fart would not come out so i pushed and pushed then BAM! poop came out all over his face.
lol